Ok I wrote this whole thing in like half an hour and it's kind of piggy backing another idea I've had going for a while and I really don't know how I feel about this one. So please review and tell me what you guys think and I will try and post a new chapter soon! (If my muse lets me)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Song: Never Say Never by The Fray which should seriously be playing in the background the first time they kiss! If you know the song then tell me what you think....=)
Oh and I think this is one of the few times I have written in Tony's POV so I hope it's okay- I find it a lot harder to write Tony!
Never Say Never
It was like a silent rule that hung over our team. Like Gibbs had added another rule to his list and none of us even thought to disobey it.
We didn't talk about Somalia or about Ziva's time there and looking at that now it feels like that was what was keeping our team apart; keeping us from being close like we used to be. It was like there was a physical gap that held Kate, Jeanne, Jenny, Michael and Somalia so even when we were standing nose to nose we were seven thousand seven hundred and twenty miles and four feet away from each another.
So we smiled.
We smiled and pretended that everything was the same when really all our lives had been turned around so completely I was pretty sure I was walking upside-down.
But Ziva.
Ziva was my constant and even though there was no way I could tell her out loud; I loved her. Not the sappy love, rose petals on the bed, a thousand daises and horses kind of love but love that I knew I couldn't live without her and even though I wasn't nearly brave enough and way too proud to admit it out loud, I told her every single morning with my eyes and my actions and while a part of me hoped that she didn't pick up on it a much larger and more persistent part of me did.
We kept on coming back to each other, baring ugly souls and scarred bodies and we would pass the night in ecstasy, forgetting everything we wouldn't admit until we finally collapsed and let sleep take us through the last hours of darkness. I knew what we were doing was wrong; right now Ziva needed someone to take her of her not to fuck her and leave in the morning we couldn't keep away from each other and she left me alone in my too big bed morning after morning with that look in her eyes that made her look so much younger and innocent. I always felt like a dirty old man after she looked at me like that, like I'd seen more than she could comprehend but then I would catch sight of a twisted scar across her back and realise that it was the other way around.
I still remember that first night; she had turned up to my apartment so like those movie nights we shared years ago but this time there was no food or alcohol or movies in her hand and as soon as the door had closed she was in my personal space and it felt so good to have that close again. Her eyes had held a challenge that I couldn't refuse so I reached my arms around her too small frame and made her forget everything until the morning.
Now; I could feel us growing apart but I held on to her tightly because at some point over the last few months our nights had become less about keeping her sane and more about keeping me sane.
"Don't go," I whispered into her hair and she turned around so her dark bewitching eyes were staring straight at mine.
"Don't let me go."
Review and make my day =) Jules