Chapter Five
Disclaimer: Still don't own it.
Author's Note: Again life got in the way of me posting. My house has been invaded with mutant squirrels. So I've been busy dealing with exterminators and contractors. Fun stuff, huh?
Lorelai was giddy with excitement about having Rory home for the whole weekend. Between their busy social schedules and work, it seemed like the two barely got to spend anytime together anymore. Turns out, Friday night dinners actually did have an upside.
For tonight she had gotten one order of everything at Al's, several boxes of Red Vines, brownies, ice-cream and, of course, a massive amount of chips. She'd also grabbed the classics, Funny Face, My Fair Lady, Sabrina and Children's Hour. Lorelai figured an Audrey themed night was in order.
As Lorelai was carrying things from the kitchen to set up in the living room she heard the house phone begin to ring. When the machine picked up, Lorelai began thanking her lucky stars that her hands were full. The sound of Emily's infuriated voice filled the house.
'Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, you pick up the phone RIGHT NOW! How can you stand by and let Rory throw her entire future away with that dreadful diner man's nephew?! Just because you seem to be at peace In such a low station doesn't mean Rory should be as well!'
Lorelai was officially over her mother looking down on everything about her life. It was time to break this silence, with a thunderous bang.
Lorelai grabbed the phone from the hook and screamed, " MOM! I have no clue what you are talking about and, frankly, I don't care. You can stand in your ivory tower and pass all the judgments you want. But in all fairness, I should warn you, we poor, lowly commoners couldn't care any less about your commands. So maybe you should save your breath for more useful purposes. Like terrorizing maids, Bossing around the ladies of the DAR. Hell, join a theatre group and start starring as the villain in all their plays. Just leave me and my daughter out of it."
'Lorelai! Do you not know that horrible boy, who didn't even graduate high school, is back? Do you not care enough to protect your own daughter from ruining her life?' How could Lorelai not understand all this? Jess was not appropriate company for Rory and he should therefore be kept as far away from Rory as possible. Emily had assumed Lorelai would stand behind her on this issue.
"Of course I know Jess is back. I, also, know that Rory is an adult! She can make her own choices. You don't get to have a say in what she does!"
'Lorelai!'
"No, Mom. Don't 'Lorelai' me and do not call me again." Having said everything she could think to say Lorelai hung up the phone and threw herself on to the couch with a sigh. What there anything her mother didn't think she had the right to control? Sometimes Lorelai thought her mother and Taylor Doose would make a wonderful couple or even co dictators of their own country.
Lorelai mad a mental not to warn Rory about the possible battle ahead when she got home.
Rory felt her heart sink at the sound of Dean's voice. They hadn't spoken since the 'Male Yale' party at her grandparent's house. Even though Dean was the one who ended things, he still sounded hurt.
Jess didn't have to take time to think about the situation. He and Dean were always going to have this unnatural hatred for each other. Jess had made peace with it long ago. "I'd love to say you aren't surprised because you have psychic abilities but we both know that would take more brain power than you could ever hope to process."
Dean though he lad left Rory because he knew she deserved better than he could give her at the time. But somewhere, in the back of his mind, Dean always assumed that once he got his life in order he would be the one to end up with Rory. Seeing her with Jess, kissing Jess, made his stomach turn. Rory deserved so much better. But here she was, slumming it with Jess, again. "What are you doing with him, Rory?"
Rory looked at Dean with sad eyes. Rory had never wanted to hurt Dean but it always seemed to happen. It wasn't that He was a horrible guy, The two of them just never seemed to be able to make things work, to find the middle ground. "Dean, I-"
Dean suddenly didn't want to hear what Rory had to say. He had a feeling it would just be a rerun of something he'd heard before. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to hear it."
Jess was trying his best to stay out of this. He'd thought Dean was married so this jealous outburst was making Jess thin he was missing something important. "Shouldn't we be over this whole West Side Story jealousy thing? I thought we had this out years ago."
Rory had been trying to avoid telling Jess about what happened between her and Dean. She was ashamed of the whole thing. Rory didn't think Jess could ever understand. How was she supposed to tell him this? 'Oh and by the way, the night after you asked me to run away with you I slept with Dean who was still married to Lindsey. I officially became a home wrecker . Oopsie. Want to go grab some coffee?'
Dean stared at Jess with fire in his eyes before he dropped a bomb on what looked to be their perfect romantic evening. "Yea, we were over it when I was with Rory tow months ago. I guess, seeing you with her again just brought back some memories."
Jess looked at Rory to see if what Dean was saying was true. Two months ago? Wasn't Dean married then? As Jess looked at her he could almost see the story written on Rory's face. Dean wasn't lying.
Two months ago. Two months ago. Two months ago, was screaming in his ears, over and over.
No matter what Dean said, no matter how much Dean's words effected Jess, it wouldn't stop Jess from winning a verbal sparring match with the teutonic giant. "Wow, so even with me out of the picture and you obviously leaving your wife, you still couldn't keep Rory? Man, that's pathetic."
Dean couldn't listen to this. He wasn't going to go through this again. So he just turned and stormed off. Dean knew Jess didn't deserve Rory but he couldn't come up with the right way to say it and make Rory understand.
After years of mutual hatred being the only thing Jess and Dean had in common, they could both honestly say they'd never gotten over Rory Gilmore.
Once Dean was out of ear shot, Jess looked Rory in the eye, "Anything you want to fill me in on?"
Jess had listen quietly to Rory's story about her some what drama filled second attempt with Dean. After she had finished, Jess couldn't even look at her with out seeing 'Prince Charming' touching her, holding her. The jealousy was like a dull blade gouging into his heart.
Jess walked her home in silence. Once they reached her yard he gave her an off had sort of 'Call you later'. Then he went out to find Luke.
Luke saw Jess' face the moment he walked into the apartment above the diner. Luke knew something was off. The glow Jess usually had after seeing Rory wasn't there. "What happened?"
Jess took a seat at the table in the middle of the room. As much as he hated talking about personal things he knew Luke would understand what was going on. "Dean." It was all he could force himself to say.
Luke should have known Dean would make an appearance sooner or later. That kid couldn't leave well enough alone and move on. In Luke's opinion Dean had made horrible choices and ruined his own life but he wouldn't be satisfied until he dragged Rory down with him. "Ah, I see where this is going."
"She went back to Dean?" Jess asked himself aloud. He just couldn't wrap his head around it.
"She turned to Dean in a moment of weakness." Luke corrected quietly. After Lorelai had told him the circumstances leading up to the doomed reconciliation, Luke had understood. Rory had always seen Dean as dependable, reliable. Dean was as far away from Jess a person could be without being polar opposites.
Dean's reappearance in Rory's life was her trying to prove to herself that Jess was a mistake. Rory going back to Dean was her unconscious attempt to erase the effect Jess had on her life while he was here and when he left.
"She was with him the night I went to Yale, the first time. I knew! I knew he wasn't over Rory." Rory had told him nothing had happened that night but Jess couldn't help but wonder if Deans presence before his arrival had effected her decision.
Even though Jess knew that Rory was right to turn him down, he couldn't stand the idea that Rory had chosen a chance with "Farmer John" over him.
Luke understood, Jess didn't want advice right now. He was still just sounding this whole thing out. Luke decided to let Jess continue without interruption.
"I don't know if I can handle this." Jess said sounding defeated. He needed space. He needed solitude. He needed time. He desperately needed something, anything, to make this ache go away.
Jess got up to leave. He didn't know where he was going. He just wanted to escape the thoughts of her with Dean.
When Jess reached the door, Luke hit him with a hard dose of reality. "If you leave now, you can't come back… to Rory, I mean."
Hearing it said, point blank made Jess understand the enormity of it all. Was this really what he came here for? An ending? Closure? His scrambling thoughts were interrupted when Luke continued, "You walk away again, it's over. No more changing your mind, no trying again. You hear me?"
"I just need time." Jess said, avoiding Luke's gaze. Then he turned and walked out.
Emily sat staring into space trying to think of some way she could stop this. Lorelai may not care but Emily would stop that, no doubt, jail bound vagabond from being any where near her granddaughter.
Logan was the perfect math for Rory. He was from a rich family of good social standing. Why couldn't Rory see that? What more could a girl possibly want?
Then the idea came to her, the Huntzburger's owned several well know publications around the world. Introducing them to Rory would seem perfectly natural. Emily smiled as she picked up the phone and dialed Shira Huntzburger's number.
"Hello, Shira. It's Emily Gilmore." Emily may fully believe that Shira was nothing but a two faced cocktail waitress, who happened to get lucky when she bagged Mitchum but Emily was not above playing nice to protect Rory.
'Oh, hello, Emily! It's too long since we've talked, I'm delighted you called.'
Only because Emily avoided her like the plague at every function they attended. After several minutes on small talk, Emily got to the point. "Shira, I know you and Mitchum are always so busy, but I was wondering if you would be available to have dinner with my family on Friday. My granddaughter, Rory, who goes to Yale with Logan will be here. And since she is a budding journalist, I was hoping Mitchum might be able to give her a few helpful ideas on breaking into the industry successfully."
'Oh, what a wonderful idea. Mitchum absolutely loves to meet up and comers. Which I'm sure Rory is, if she's going to Yale. Of course, we would be happy to have dinner on Friday, Especially if you serve that wonderful lamb!'
"Lamb it is then!" Emily smiled and the two women talked a little more about the gossip from their different engagements.
When Emily hung up the phone, she felt satisfied. Friday dinner with Rory and the Huntzburgers. Rory would see how well she and Logan suited one another and the hoodlum would simply fade away. Emily smiled imagining the wedding invitations. Ivory paper lined with pearls, saying:
Richard and Emily Gilmore
Cordially invite you to witness the marriage of their granddaughter
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore
And
Logan Huntzburger
It would be a summer, outdoor grand wedding. Emily could hardly wait.
Rory burst into her house nearly in tears. Dean had ruined everything. She could imagine Jess packing his things now. She could almost see it happening.
After she had confirmed what Dean had told Jess and tried to explain everything, Jess suddenly became almost silent. Granted, he was never overly verbose but tonight his quietness had a cold edge. "Mom!"
When Lorelai heard the desperation in her daughter's voice, she ran to the entryway. She saw Rory leaning against the door trying to hold back tears, it nearly broke her heart. She hated seeing Rory cry. "What happened?'
With just that simple question the dam broke and Rory started sobbing. She couldn't even say it out loud.
Lorelai rushed to Rory's side, wrapped her arms around her daughter and could only think that Jess was responsible for this. And as much as she wanted to hunt him down, taking care of Rory came first. "Come on, sweetie, the couch is so much more comforting than the door. He's always been so rigid and unforgiving."
Rory let her mother lead her to the couch. Rory cried on her mother's shoulder for a few minutes remembering Jess' face when she told him that she and Dean had been together.
After several minutes of Rory sobbing and Lorelai trying to think of the best way to dispose of Jess' body Rory was finally able to form a coherent sentence. "Dean saw Jess and I kissing on the bridge."
Lorelai's vision of committing murder shifted slightly in that instant. Instead of Jess' body being buried in Jackson's vegetable garden, it was Dean's. "Oh God, What happened?"
Rory cried and told her mother all of the details. From the first day at the coffee cart to this moment on the couch and everything in between. It took quite a bit of time, coffee and snacks.
Once Rory had given up all the information, Lorelai felt like she could give a little advice. But just as she was about to start talking the front door flew open and Paris stormed in. "I can't stay at the dorm. I'm going crazy. Doyle still hasn't called and I remembered what you told me about not being pathetic and sitting around waiting for him to call. So here I am, deal with it."
Even on the worst night Paris could always make Rory laugh. Often when she didn't mean to. Paris may act tough and independent but she was truly loyal and always there when Rory needed a friend, a kick in the butt. Paris was there for Rory no matter what.
Rory patted the couch, indicating Paris should sit. Then they both turned to stare at Lorelai.
Lorelai looked at her daughter and her almost-daughter. She hated seeing the two in pain. She had to get their mind off of Twiddle Dee (Jess), Twiddle Dumb (Doyle) and Twiddle Douche Bag (Dean). "Ok. Girl power movie night!" I'm going for more supplies. You two hand over the phones. No unnecessary outside contact. Get in your pjs, order the pizzas and start setting up the living room. I'll be back in a flash!"
Rory looked at Paris; Paris looked between Lorelai and Rory, before hesitantly asking, "Movie Night?"
Rory smiled at her mom and they said in unison, "Movie Night!"
Jess unlocked the door to his still empty store. Even here he could sense Rory. He just couldn't seem to escape her.
DEAN. TWO MONTHS. SLEPT TOGETHER. MISTAKE.
The words were scrolling through his mind, like the bottom of ESPN, too fast to actually read, but enough to catch the gist of the meaning.
Jess couldn't handle this. He just couldn't. He called one of his business partners, Chris, to talk about switching stores. He just couldn't stay here. Not without losing his mind.
'Hey man, you get those renovation quotes I sent you?' Chris was and always had been the 'get down to business' the small talk guy. Its why he was the de facto leader.
"Yea, the work should get started on Monday." Jess was still unsure if he wanted to stay or go. Could he walk away from all this?
'Ok. How's Stars Hollow girl?' Chris was one of the very few people that knew about Rory, mostly due to a drunken bonding session.
"I can't stay here, man." Jess said quietly. Still feeling defeated. She has chosen Dean.
'Why?'
"She went back to apron boy, after the last time I was here." Jess couldn't close his eyes without the image of Dean touching Rory blazed through his mind. He was contemplating removing his own eye lids to keep it from happening every time he blinked. Other ideas involving the use of physical pain to clear the thoughts out of his head were interrupted by Chris asking, "So, she's still with him?"
Jess sighed, "No."
'Then the problem is…' Chris just didn't understand what Jess was saying. If Rory wasn't with what's-his-name now, why was Jess flipping out?
"It's just… I can't…" Jess couldn't explain it. He couldn't explain it. He couldn't fully verbalize the feeling.
'Ok. So, give up. Take the Cambridge store and I'll take over in New Haven.' Chris thought Jess was being an idiot but months of working and living with him had taught Chris that Jess was a 'needs to figure things out on his own' guy.
Jess thought Chris would give him more trouble about the change. "Really?"
Chris was tired of Jess' back and forth on the subject of this girl. The dedication page of Jess' novel took for Jess longer to write than the whole process of editing the damn thing. Jess hadn't been satisfied with the dedication until about an hour before they started printing. 'Yea, really. You can't stand it down there, so you take Cambridge. Let the other guy have the small town princess. I mean, you don't want her, right?'
The thought of Rory being with Dean again, maybe even married to him, brought murderous rage to Jess' heart. "What?" the question came out as more of a growl.
'Well, you're right, you said she isn't with him anymore. So maybe she'll find some fancy guy at Yale or something.' Chris knew this was the only way to make Jess think before running. Jess always had a tendency to only see how his actions effected him. He never quite grasp the concept that one choice always set off a chain reaction, in several areas, lives, other people's lives. Like the saying… ' The flapping of a butterfly's wings in Africa can cause a hurricane in the Carolinas. Jess only understood the flapping, not the hurricane that inevitably followed. Or its destruction.
When Chris mentioned fancy Yale guy, Jess' mind brought up the memory of 'casual Logan'. He and Rory could be casual now, but from what Jess saw Logan just might be starting to see the pit falls of being non-exclusive with a girl like Rory. Jess couldn't even form words at this point, his mind was racing so fast.
Chris knew he was having an impact on Jess' pig headed brain when no sarcastic comment was swiftly yelled in his ear. 'I mean, come on, Jess. Do you really expect her to pine after you forever? You aren't that special. I would know.'
"No, you're right she'd find someone." Jess ground out feeling nauseous. Sure, Rory would move on. But the question was, could he? Could Jess actually forget about his feelings for Rory? Could he ever have close to this kind of connection with someone else?
Jess' heart screamed 'NO!' He wanted this conversation to end but Chris wasn't through with his emotional version of terrorism yet.
'Hell, years from now, you could see her walking down the street and, Lord knows, you'll remember her but she'll just pass you without even a hint of recognition.'
"What are you saying here, Chris? That I should leave? Stay? What the hell am I supposed to do?" Jess yelled to both himself and Chris.
Chris sighed. 'Do you really want my opinion or do you want me to just tell you what you want to hear?'
"I want the truth, damn it!" Jess was reaching the end of his rope. He was about to put his fist through a wall just to give himself something to do.
'Fine, The way I see it, you've got two options' Chris started.
"And they are?"
'You suck it up. Let her past go. Pray she forgives your past mistakes too. And you two start over. Clean slate for both of you.'
Jess shook his head even though Chris couldn't see it. "I can't just move past this. Every time I see her, see him, it will just remind me and I'll be pissed all over again." Simply moving past this was unfathomable to Jess.
'Ok. Then, you walk away. Don't look back. Call it day. You move on, She moves on. Let her go. Let the possibility of her go.' To Chris it as simple. Either Jess manned up and dealt with the past and got the girl or Jess manned up and walked away for good this time. No matter what, Jess had to man up.
Jess chuckled darkly suddenly realizing, "If I walk away, what happens when my uncle gets the balls to marry her mom? I cut him out of my life too?"
Jess knew Luke would end up with Lorelai. He had called that one form the beginning. When, not if, Luke married Lorelai he would become more than just Rory's quasi- father figure. Luke would be her step-dad. Luke would always be involved in Rory's life.
'No, that would be dumb and immature. Both of which you actually are, but we're working on fixing that. So, when you see her at family shit you treat her like a distant cousin. Civil, but not too friendly.'
"Cousin?"
Chris laughed slightly, realizing Jess hadn't thought of this. 'Yep, that's what you guys will be, you perv. It'll probably get easier to handle once she gets married.'
The image slammed into Jess' mind. Holidays spent with Rory but not with Rory. Her holding hands with someone else under the table at Thanksgiving, her smiling at someone else's gift Christmas morning, some other guy kissing her at midnight on New Years Eve. The blurry pictures pushed Jess over the edge, so he put his fist through the nearest wall.
When Chris heard the loud crash, he knew he'd won. No was Jess would be able to handle seeing Rory in a forever type relationship with anyone else. Her dating was fine, that wasn't permanent. But marriage, marriage would really mean he lost her.
After several moments of intense silence Chris asked, 'So what's it going to be, man? Are you in or out?'
Jess knew Chris was the only person who would put everything this bluntly. Hearing all of it nearly killed Jess, but it did put everything into perspective. "I'm staying."
Jess hung up and tried to think of how he was going to make Rory forgive him for the way he treated her tonight. He decided the sooner they talked the better, he pulled out his cell phone to call her.
Lorelai walked out of the market with three full bags of junk food, comfort food and coffee. The first step in curing boy troubles. Culture coma induced by movies and sugar.
She was trying to decide what movies to grab when she heard someone call out, "Lorelai!"
Dean was stumbling toward her, One look at him and you could see he was quite a few drinks past drunk. "What do you want, Dean?"
All Dean could think was that Lorelai would fix this. She'd make Rory see reason. "Rory was with Jess tonight." Dean slurred, thinking that with just that one sentence, Lorelai would understand and help.
"So?" Lorelai didn't want to have this conversation with Dean at all, let alone when he was so drunk she could get a contact buzz from his breath.
Deans mind froze on the question. Lorelai knew Jess was here, with Rory, and she didn't care. "Rory was kissing him." Dean told her, deciding Lorelai didn't know what he had meant.
"Again I ask, so?"
This was not going how Dean thought it would, at all. "She shouldn't have been."
"Why's that, Dean? Is she married? Is she with you? Tell me one good reason why she shouldn't kiss Jess. Or any one else that she wants to, for that matter?" Lorelai was over Dean's possessive feelings toward Rory.
"He's just going to leave her again!" Dean raised his voice a few notches. In his drunken, haze he thought being louder would get his point across.
"You made sure of that, didn't you? You aren't in Rory's life anymore, Dean. You don't get to just because you think you know what's best. Lorelai matched his volume and raised him a scathing tone.
"She deserves better than him! You know that, Lorelai!"
Lorelai dropped the bags she was carrying on to the side walk and took a step closer to Dean. She had to stand on her toes to meet his eyes, but she wanted to be clear with him. "Rory deserves to have her choices respected. She deserves to make her own decisions on who is in and not in her life. She doesn't deserve you ruining anything just because you're unhappy. You're the one who walked away from her, remember? You don't like who she's with, well, that's just too damn bad!"
Dean felt a wave of hate wash through his system. In that moment he hated everything. He hated Stars Hollow, Jess, Rory, Lindsey, Luke and Lorelai. All of this was their fault. "GO TO HELL!" He screamed in Lorelai's face.
"RIGHT BACK AT YOU!" Lorelai wanted to clobber Dean. He had been such a nice kid and now he was just a poor excuse for a man.
Dean was about to continue the fight when he and Lorelai both heard Luke's voice coming from the diner steps a few feet away, "Go home, Dean. Sleep it off. And stay the hell away from Rory."
Dean looked around and knew this argument was over. He could scream all he wanted but Luke was involved now so it would just be a waste of time.
Lorelai turned to Luke after Dean slumped away. "Thanks for the save, Lancelot."
"Anytime. Dean's really turning into a piece of work, huh?" Luke had heard the start of the fight from his open window. He'd intended to come down and give Dean a piece of his mind but by the time he made it downstairs Lorelai was handling it herself. But when Dean started yelling Luke felt like he had to step in. No one yelled at Lorelai in front of him.
"Who would have thought I'd be saying, I'm starting to prefer Jess to Boozy?" Lorelai shook her head, it was hard to believe but that statement was more than true.
"I know what you mean." Luke was upset with Jess at the moment but at least he hadn't drunkenly started yelling at Lorelai in the middle of the street.
"Speaking of Jess the new wonder kid, where is he?"
Luke shook his head. "I don't know."
Lorelai's heart sank, Jess left again. She knew it. "Is he coming back?"
"I don't know." Luke said, sadly.
Next one should be up in a few days. I've already started writing it. Rory, Lane and Paris still hit the Founders Day Punch, just with a different result.