Author's Notes: Another chapter because spring break makes me productive. I think my next bit of free time will be sent towards typing up the chapter of Hyne's War that drove me to the break I took on it in the first place. After that, though, I think I'll come back to this when I have time. I want to finish this one while my mind is still in the place where I can figure out where this is going.

Memoriam: Chapter 4

"Remember that while this weapon is for display purposes only, there is still enough of an edge for them to be a risk if they are used. Please keep it out of the easy reach of children. And have a good day."

The young man nodded, holding the carefully wrapped bundle close as he took back his credit card. Kids these days hardly listened to him, but what else could you expect? More than a small part of the sort of the young men that came to the store these days were either oddly obsessed with Japanese culture, weapons, or just wanted to look cool. Almost a shame that they were a corner-stone of the business. Nida couldn't help the slight smile that came with the realization that soon enough they might have to search elsewhere for a way to show off to girls. After all, there would be no more need to maintain the shop if everything went well, and if everything went poorly, then there wouldn't be a need for this place either.

When the bell on the door rang, Nida looked up to give one last farewell to the customer, only to find it was an entrance rather than an exit that brought the sound. Not that the young man didn't take the chance to slip out offered by Squall holding the door open.

"Good afternoon. I must warn you, sir, that any violence within this shop will result in me being forced to contact the police."

Squall rolled his eyes, something like the word 'whatever' on his lips, but only half escaping from what Nida could see. It was the sort of attitude that reminded Nida that this wasn't the same person he had fallen in love with, and that Nida himself had caused the change.

"No violence. Just looking for a gift."

That sparked a bit of interest, though mostly one fueled by a jealousy that Nida was sure he wasn't supposed to allow himself anymore. If what little memory he had of Irvine served, the many wouldn't like the sort of things in this store, and Nida wasn't sure he could quite handle the idea of Squall giving that one the sort of gifts he would have once given Nida.

"Might I offer my assistance? I've been told I am more than adept at gift selection."

"Sorry, but the person is rather picky, and hard to shop for if you don't know them."

It was just civil enough, just distant enough, in tone that Nida understood what was going on. He was Tetsuya now, probably forever. No connections to the dead. It hurt to have Squall act like this, but probably for the best. And, if Squall could act as if they didn't have any relationship beyond customer and store owner, then Nida could act like that too.

"Of course. But if you need anything, do not hesitate to call me. I would offer the assistance of my partner, but he is currently out to lunch with one of our main suppliers, and is not available."

And with that, Nida returned his attention to the business there was to be had behind the counter, knowing that Squall, for one, was hardly likely to shoplift, and thus didn't need the normal scrutiny given to other, non-regular customers.

------

He'd left Irvine with Zell in a book store a few doors down, knowing that the place would give him plenty of time free of them to return to this place. The excuse Squall had come up with had been buying a few small gifts for his family, and something for Zell to thank him come the end of the visit for putting them up. There had even been the hint that Irvine might be getting something as well, which meant Squall would have plenty of freedom, from the two of them at least.

For some reason, Squall had thought that his luck would find Nida not present, and he could actually do the quiet shopping he had claimed had been the motivation for coming here. Not surprising that the world had decided to be against him again, especially since he was sure that he had wanted to see Nida just one more time. And one more time was all he intended. After today he wanted to be able to walk away, to go back to Irvine and not look back on the worst part of his life.

Which meant he'd have to actually talk to Nida, if only as Tetsuya. Squall needed to show himself that whatever he had gotten from Nida back then couldn't be had now, as much as his irrational mind wanted it.

Squall took a deep breath, then called out towards the counter, not turning his head from the display of tea sets, as if fully engrossed in the patterns on the little cups. "Do you think these would make a good gift?"

It was hard not to laugh when he heard the clatter of something, maybe a spilled pen cup, from the direction of the counter. Apparently Nida had not expected Squall to say anything. Well, that made it easier. Obviously Nida couldn't read him as well anymore.

"What? Oh, umm... Those..."

And before Squall could blink, Nida was at his elbow, looking at the display as well. "It truly depends upon who you are buying for. These tea sets work better for those who prefer to take their tea in the style, which means smaller proportions than most Americans favor. Those Westerners who favor the delicate style tea sets you find in the European areas are not the best to consider when faced with this sort of tea set."

Squall shuffled a half of a step away, and nodded. At least he had taken the time to give a thoughtful explanation rather than pointing out that Squall's family wasn't big on tea. So here the line was drawn between their shared past and the lives they were living. Nida was saying 'this far, no further,' and Squall was thankful for that. Now he knew where he stood.

"Besides," Tetsuya said, lifting a lacquered box from a nearby shelf and presenting it for Squall's attention, "if you as shopping for a lady, this is better suited."

The box proved to be, upon opening, a velvet lined jewelry box, probably made of cherry, stained deep red, and with a pagoda scene in red depicted upon the wood. It was perfect for Ellone, who complained lately of not having a good jewelry box and was beginning to prod a their mother to pass the one that had belonged to their grandmother to come into her possession. It was an ideal choice for Ellone.

It was a choice Nida would have helped Squall make.

"Who said I was shopping for a lady? I must get something for Zell, as well as Irvine, for inviting me out here. My father also insisted on a souvenir."

"Laguna is too clumsy for a tea set, Zell has four, and Irvine..."

Squall's attention snapped from the box to Tetsuya, Nida, when he caught those words, so quiet that they were barely within his hearing. There went all the illusions of distance from the past, even if it was a good point that his father couldn't be trusted with something fragile.

"And you presume to know everything about me or other people you don't know? I'm almost shocked that you get any business at all with that sort of attitude."

Slowly, carefully, Nida put the box aside. The action was so deliberate, so delicate, that Squall was caught off guard, so used to seeing that kind of behavior directed towards Nida's old weapon collection, and not silly little boxes.

"Leave."

------

Squall stood there, mouth agape, looking like a fish when it mistakenly leaps out of the water. His lips moved a bit, but nothing came of it. It would have been funny once, but not now.

"It seems that you have some trouble understanding me, sir. I have asked you to leave."

"You... you can't do that. I'm a paying customer!"

The protest was feeble, and they both knew it was hardly going to help Squall's case. Not only was Squall not a paying customer, but Nida was well within his rights to refuse service to anyone, provided he wasn't being discriminatory at the same time. There was nothing Squall could do to even plead that case, much less win it.

"I would ask that you quickly and quietly remove yourself, sir, delay result in you making a scene upon the entrance of actual customers."

"Dammit Nida, you can't..."

Squall's hand closed around Nida's wrist as he started to speak, and Nida shook off the grip easily, turning to glare at his former lover.

"I can't? You expect me to stand here and play with you? Expect me to wait as you taunt me with your presence, your new boyfriend, and get offended if I even imply I know you? Then you dare to use that name when I refuse you play your game? Well guess what, Squall, I'm not going to play. Get out."

The bell on the store door rang again, and the pair looked quickly towards the sound, Nida quickly pulling himself together. He did, after all, have a reputation to maintain, even if Squall wanted to act as if he didn't have a life here. Of course, the look they got from Kiros as he stood in the doorway, one eyebrow raised as he folded his arms across his chest was more than enough to cause Nida to flinch back.

There wasn't a worse person who could have entered the store at the moment, save maybe Rei or Seifer.

"Is there a problem here?"

"No," Nida quickly said, turning to return to the counter. "No problem at all, Kiros. This young man was just leaving. He wasn't satisfied with our goods."

"I see... And you're not just kicking him out, are you, Nida?"

Nida couldn't help but flinch at the use of his name, something Kiros had to have done purposefully. Kiros wasn't the sort to slip up like that in front of people.

"He knows who you are?"

"Of course I do. He is my business partner after all," Kiros responded, ignoring the demand in Squall's voice to join Nida at the counter. "If it is that, then I won't force him to leave. You have to face the past to move on, after all."

"Please stay out of this Kiros. It doesn't involve you," Nida pointed out.

"Doesn't involve me? This little one is the reason you're here, the reason you have those impressive burns, the reason for what you're gonna owe me, so I'll say it involves me. Now act your age and talk to the boy. That is why he is here, I assume."

"I just wanted to buy some gifts for family," Squall mumbled. It was obviously a lie by this point, but Nida didn't call him on it.

"Nida, I'll take over here. You take this young man upstairs and prepare some tea. Talk. And get your damn head on straight. Last thing I need right now is for you get flighty."

"And if I don't want tea or to talk?" Squall asked as he approached Kiros and Nida at the counter.

"He's not giving us a choice," Nida said with a sigh, turning to lead Squall behind the counter, knowing that in the end, Kiros would get his way.

That was, after all, what he needed Kiros to do.

So, soon enough Nida found himself handing a cup of green tea to Squall who was seated at a low table in the small living area of the upstairs apartment, and Nida moved to perch on his usual window sill. Neither of them has said anything since coming upstairs, but Nida wasn't shocked about that. What did you say to someone at a time like this? Everything he could think to say he'd done yesterday, and he couldn't bear sharing the rest. And Squall, well, it was obvious he wasn't here to do much in the way of civil talking, from how he had behaved.

"I'm sorry I didn't attend your funeral," Squall said at last.

It was such a ridiculous thing to say, so out of place with Nida obviously here and watching Squall, that Nida could do little more than laugh. After how he'd been treated, after all the right that Squall had to yell at him or punch him again, or even the right that Nida had to punch Squall for his own behavior, this was what Squall apologized for?

"What's so funny?" Squall demanded, a horrified look upon his face.

"I'm sorry," Nida gasped out between chuckles. "It's just... You apologizing... Hell, I missed it too."

"Oh, right. Seifer told me it was... appropriate. Not that I'm quite sure what he meant by that. For all I know, he might have set up a conga-line on your grave."

"He might have," Nida agreed. "I don't think he liked me very much."

"Seifer doesn't like many people very much. You've heard most of my stories about him..."

"Yeah, and I was also the one that had to deal with his less than creative interrogation techniques. Give him a whip and some leather, and I swear that man could be a poster boy for S&M lifestyles."

"I'll be sure to warn Ellone about that."

"Ellone?"

"Yeah. They've gotten engaged. Half a year now. I'll be surprised if they ever get around to the wedding though."

"Congratulate him for me when the day comes."

"You could do it yourself."

And there it was, everything Nida had expected this conversation to get to. Squall asking, in his own way, for Nida to come back.

"No, I can't. And I think you know that. So if that is the only thing you are here to ask, then spare me."

"Why would I want you to come back?"

Nida sighed and turned his attention to the view from the window. It hurt to have Squall say that. To be honest, he hadn't been expecting it at all. Yes, he was sure Squall didn't feel the same way anymore, but he had thought that maybe, at least for the sake of the friendship they had once shared, Squall would want him involved in his life somehow. Foolish really.

"You lied to me, you betrayed me, and you ran rather than letting people help you like you should have. You're a coward and hardly worth any of the attention I ever gave you. So, really, it was foolish to even think I'd want you to come back. And yet..."

Nida flinched as he felt Squall's hand descend upon his shoulder.

"And yet, I do. It's stupid. It's fucking stupid and unfair and I want to punch you for it, but that is the way it is."

"Squall?" Nida asked, turning to look at the younger man.

"Come back someday. Do what you have to do, and then come back, okay?"

"Squall, you know..."

He was cut off as Squall kissed him, for just the briefest moment. Then Squall pulled away and moved towards the stairs that would lead back into the store.

"I know. Wishful thinking."

And then Nida was alone with his thoughts, his fingers pressed lightly to his lips.