Cracked Like Overly-Boiled Eggs, a Kyle's Briefs and Boxers ficlet. Rated T.
Author's Note: This is a companion piece, prequel if you will, to Josh the Lovable Geek, one of my stories. If you do not know that story, maybe you should read it first. To be honest, I have no clue where this came from. I do not own Kyle XY.
Last night, I dreamed of killing Cassidy by literally boiling his brain in his skull as he lived the horror of the experience. The eyes bulged and eventually popped out of their sockets, which was followed by frothy and foamy goo that looked surprisingly like hard boiled eggs -- without the yolk.
It should be obvious to anyone who knows me that I will not be killing anyone -- even Cassidy, my brother, who has repeatedly threatened the very same to all my friends and family. Yet my curiosity was piqued by the idea; could I in fact, heat a glass of water and make it boil? I can easily move a glass of water or even a human being, with only the power of my mind, by focusing on the water within that body.
Kyle answered the phone, "Hello."
"Hi Kyle, is Josh there?"
Kyle recognized the voice instantly. "Hi Andy, no he's not. He's at work I think." He paused briefly as he pondered what he could do for her. "I can forward your call to the Rack if you want."
What he had hoped would happen was thwarted ever so easily and with quite a bit of surprise besides. Andy let out a string of curses. "I've already called there and he's not there."
"He's probably just hanging out with a friend or something," Kyle said to ease the tension.
"Kyle. We're talking about Josh here; he has no friends. That's why we work so well together!"
Kyle stared at the glass of water on the small table in front of his tub. He made it float in mid air. "I don't know what to say Andy."
Andy sighed heavily. "I told him I wasn't going to be available for our daily chat today but didn't tell him why. I'm in Seattle for a visit."
"Oh, he'll love that!" Kyle almost shouted with glee.
Andy let out a quick breath out of her nose, making a strange noise over the phone. "Would you mind picking me up at the airport Kyle?"
The glass came down without a sound on the small table. "Sure, which terminal are you at?" When she gave him the information he finished, "Be there in twenty."
***
Josh whistled as he parked his car in the driveway. He felt on top of the world and vastly relieved of his tensions. It was all well and good to see Andy on his computer screen every night but without her in the flesh he had been feeling particularly peckish of late. He knew this girl at school who had few scruples and had some nice ones – if only her face wasn't butt ugly. She'd been all too happy to help him out with his troubles, for the simple cost of a movie in a back alley theatre and a combo at a fast food place.
When Josh opened the door and saw Andy scowling at him, his breath caught.
When he then thought of the hickeys he had on his chest from the overly enthusiastic girl – her name was no longer important – he swallowed hard.
Andy stood there, fists on her hips, her hair in a ponytail, and said, "Where the hell have you been?" She nonetheless grinned and said, "Surprise!" and jumped on him there and then. The few times they'd done it, she'd always had her hair in a ponytail, which only made little him react despite previous attention that morning, and afternoon. As he held her and received her vicious kisses, he groaned in his throat. He was so dead.
She got down as Kyle came into the hallway. "Hey Josh," he said while frowning slightly and looking at Andy, "I was wandering around the airport when I saw Andy here and, well, I brought her home for you." He smiled at Andy and she returned it.
"When you didn't answer your phone – because you left it here you scallywag, arr – I waited through lunch and supper for you to return." She gave him a big hug and said, "I'm only here today and half the day tomorrow but I thought maybe we could, you know, go out and do stuff."
Kyle stared at him with a very serious frown and Josh knew with a sinking feeling he'd be called out there and then before he even got to see his beautiful girlfriend – very long distance and absolutely hot girlfriend – out of the house and more importantly out of some of those clothes. The opportunity presenting itself was just too delicious. He pleaded with Kyle with his eyes.
Kyle's gaze hardened before he smiled and nodded. Josh felt a wave of relief flooding his entire system and the dread washed away. Maybe Kyle would even zap those unsightly hickeys so there'd be no questions at all. "Yo bro, thanks for taking care of my girl here." Josh kind of ignored the harrumph Andy gave at being called his girl. "Um, can you help me out with a computer problem for a second? I think my computer fried last night and that's what I've been doing, scoping out a new rig."
Andy said, "I can help you with that! What are the specs?"
Kyle seemed to hesitate – almost certainly because he knew Josh was lying through his teeth – and said, "With your account balance of two hun–"
"Hold on there genius, don't divulge the finances to the lady before we get hitched; she might start seeing me only for my money."
Andy pulled away with a huge smile, "Hardly," she said sweetly.
Seeing his chance, Josh extracted himself from her grip and said, "Just be a sec sweetie, guy talk for just a sec." He cringed when he noticed he had repeated the phrase just a sec. Andy had once accused him of repeating himself when he was compulsively lying or boasting, which of course he was doing.
Andy said, a little less happily, "Sure, not like I haven't already been waiting all day."
Once in Kyle's room, Josh lifted his shirt, revealing the nasty hickeys. "Dude, please please please, can you get rid of these for me?"
Kyle's eyes screwed up at the ugly splotches, "Are they what I think they are?"
Josh swallowed, ready to deny everything but knowing the truth was likely the only thing that could convince his brother to go along with him. He focused on the idea, this is the truth. "They're bruises; I've joined a sparring club for some spare cash and if Andy sees these she'll get worried." Josh desperately grinned to his brother the podling. "I'll do anything for you man."
It was then Josh noticed a small glass of water on the table beside Kyle's tub. He started to reach for it and was about to ask to drink it when Kyle suddenly stopped his every movement –without touching him, which really was worrisome – until he noticed the water steaming in the glass and the glass cracked in a few places.
Josh swallowed while Kyle heaved a great sigh. The water froze solid in the glass, shattering it completely.
Kyle said, very slowly and very ominously, "Sure thing Josh, let me take care of those suction-like bruises, aka hickeys, on your body. I will not ruin her day and her surprise. You will. If you come back here and I learn you haven't told her, your blood might just boil or freeze. I just haven't decided which would be more painful."
Josh saw the hickeys were indeed gone but he no longer felt good about his prospects of having a good night.
***
It so happened I could both heat or freeze water at will, but it was most easily done with the right emotional inputs. What Josh had done, not just today but on three other occasions in the last six months, was most deplorable. I still wouldn't kill him – he was my brother, one I loved dearly – but I loved Andy just the same. She deserved better than my brother.
The next morning, the anger was clear in Andy's whole being. She had stayed silent throughout the trip to the airport, and even though her flight only left at four that afternoon, she had asked Kyle to drive her back when it was only ten in the morning. Needless to say she hadn't slept with Josh last night, and for that Kyle was glad.
"I forced him to tell you," Kyle said finally after debating for 532 seconds whether he should even mention it. Finally, only the memory of Amanda with Charlie convinced him that he should.
"Why didn't you tell me if you knew?"
Kyle rolled his eyes at his foolishness. He had made the same mistake with Amanda.
A long pause followed her question. Finally he said, "I don't have anything but excuses. I'm sorry, Andy."
Another long pause followed this. Eventually they got to the airport and she booked a room with cash for the few hours before her flight. She turned to him and held his hand just as he had prepared to leave, "Do you mind staying with me for a bit? I don't really want to be alone right now."
He nodded, knowing only that she would be hurt if he declined her invitation.
They talked over room service and over a few frenzied games of G-Force.
When two-thirty chimed in with a call from the front desk, Andy turned to Kyle and said, with admiration in her eyes. "I think Josh is right. You did cure my cancer didn't you?"
Kyle was caught off guard with her comment.
"I never told Josh where my cancer was; do you know?"
Looking back in time, in his memory, was a trifling matter for him now. He might not have known then but he knew now. He nodded but didn't answer.
"My ovaries were warped and useless. It's why I had sex – done in anger. Would you know how they miraculously began to function like normal when I was cured? I hadn't had a period in years Kyle. Not that I care for them really, but thanks."
She kissed Kyle full on the mouth, but did nothing more.
I wouldn't see Andy again for many years, and little did I know I would eventually marry her instead of either Amanda or Jessi. The cracks in an egg's shell are much more easily predictable than human interaction. We seem to have free will – and indeed we exercise it all the time – but there seems to be a force counter to free will that has a plan of its own.
To this day I wonder if that dream of boiling Cassidy's brain wasn't put there by that force...