-I was drowning, slowly, painfully into my broken heart disease as I lost consciousness. This emotion was too much for me to handle.-

Chapter 1: cliff diving and the beginning.

The wave of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.

I did not resurface.

October

November

December

January

Time passes, even when it seems impossible. Time passes, it moves on. And I seem to stay like that dark night, unmoving, lifeless.

Dad found me, he told me that he was worried sick but I don't remember him or anything after I lost consciousness. I didn't go to school that week. I hardly could lift my eyelids, so much for my body.

I wonder is turning into a zombie was part of the disease.

I went to school, and did all my daily routine. Meaning eating, homework, school and sleep… I got a job at mike moms' store. Still saving up for college I guess…

I met Jacob black not too long ago and he helped me survive a little. He soon became my best friend. Waking up to a new world without the urge to go on… My dad always annoys me, telling me that I should go out and have fun. Now there's a word I forgot the meaning of. My behavior had been above reproach for the past four months. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadn't missed a day of school. My grades were perfect. I never broke curfew—I never went anywhere from which to brake curfew in the first place. I only very rarely served leftovers. Charlie was scowling me all the time like 'you never do anything'. He even said that I needed help!

I don't understand. In the 70's I would have been a perfect child. Parents always, well most of them, want children like that. But, mine are scowling me because I don't get into trouble. Ha! The irony…

Anyway, as time passes by, Jacob and I became close…really close. Sometime others might think we're a couple. But I didn't care, I was holding on to him, to take some his soothing warmth, to take a little color, to try and walk, talk, smile.

I was holding on to life, even if I didn't want too.

Today I was going to visit Jacob again. We were supposed to meet at the beach near his house, but I figure that I should just go and get him.

I left my sweater in the truck, but took my little bag.

I knocked quietly on the door.

"C'mon in, Bella," Billy said. He's Jacob's father and my dad's best friend.

"Jake sleeping?"

"Yes, he came really late last night"

I bit my lip.

"Thank you, Billy. When he wakes up, tell him that I'm at the beach." I told Billy abruptly and hurried out the door.

Being outside alone doesn't help as much as I'd hoped. The cloud pushed down with an invisible weight. As I walked towards the beach, the forest seemed so strangely vacant. It was so silent. There wasn't even the sound of wind in the trees.

I knew it was just the weather, but it still made me feel edgy.

As soon as I reach the beach, I wished I hadn't come. Coming here every day, wandering alone…. It didn't help at all, but where else to go?

I sat there on a little rock. Thinking… Well not really. I just sat there looking at the horizon. The waves were angry as it crashed against rocks. I could see them battling with the cliffs, life trying to run them over. The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky. Staring at them, remembering the day when Jacob told me that sometimes he and his 'gang' would go cliffs diving. Imagining the fall of falling figures was vivid in my mind. I imagine the freedom of the fall. The pain in my chest was growing more and more unbearable by the second. I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves.

Well, why not? Jacob had promised me anyway and I needed a distraction. He wasn't available but, jumping is not that hard?

I walk my way to the lane that passed closest to the cliffs and took the little path that would take me out to the ledge. As I followed it, I turned for a moment to look back to forks. Why does it feel like I'm never going to come here again?

I didn't have time as I knew a storm was coming, so I continued walking. The path wound in a thin single line towards the brink with no options. I felt the freezing air against my face. I wasn't that hard to jump… I wanted to. I wanted a long fall that would feel like flying.

The wind blew stronger now and I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toe felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock. I smile…I didn't know why but I had a warning feeling sweeping thru me. I didn't care, I had a vampire for boyfriend so it's not now I should have a warning. I took two steps back, to make the fall cooler…you know. Have some edge.

Taking a deep breathe and took on step, striating up my back. Just when I thought that I was going to jump I heard the voice of my worst nightmares.

"Interesting…" feminine, baby like voice… I turned around and saw her oh no…

"Isabella Marie Swan…ha-ha…what a pleasant surprise!" she said excitedly

I just stared at her. Fear taking over me as I control myself not to tremble. She is just as I remembered.

"Victoria." I whispered very low but I knew she heard me as I saw her smile widen.

"Oh! I'm honored. I wasn't forgotten." Her sinister black eyes pierce thru me, her chaotic orange hair quivering in the slight breeze was brighter than before, more like flames. Her posture was as always, distinctly feline.

It was like having my nightmare walk forward to greet me.

She could not keep her eyes from my face any more than I could keep mine from hers. Tension rolled off of me, nearly visible in the air. I could feel the desire, the all-consuming passion that held her in its grip. Almost as if I could hear her though, I know what she was thinking.

She was just so close to what she wanted, the focus of her whole existence.

My death

My heart beat furiously, loudly, as if to make her target more obvious. I stared at her in pure disbelief. So that's it…that's how my miserable life was going to end.

"How have you been Isabella? I've been searching for you." She stated

"Fine." I said one word. If I had said a phrase my voice would quiver. I don't know if I could pronounce anything as fear took all my courage away.

"Isabella? What were you thinking…? Jumping off this cliff I suppose?" she eyed me suspiciously. She was like an utterly powerful being from hell with the beauty of a goddess. I said nothing as I nodded. I couldn't lie, not even speak. I couldn't escape the obvious I guess...

She chuckled "come closer, I haven't seen you in ages!"

I walked toward her. With each step I felt smaller, weaker. If I'd jumped or run she would have catch me easily. These are the moments I hated being human.

"Oh my… you're ugly. Your mate didn't take care of you I suppose." She said as I came to a stop. Close to her, too close for my health. I let out a shaky breath.

She chuckled again

"Don't be so tense…now tell me where your beloved mate is" she hissed a little. I swear I could feet the anger coming out of her.

"Victoria…he left me. They all left. He said that I was a distraction." I choked. Remembering that terrible moonless night… Gathering up all the courage I have left I looked at her strait in the eyes also trying to stop the tears from falling.

She laughed out loud She is enjoying herself with my fear, with my sadness.

" hn. Come on now follow me." She started walking but I was frozen thinking if I would just try and run but I don't know if I can move my legs.

"Don't play dumb. I'm very thirsty if you haven't notice" she hissed in my ear from behind me. So fast…

"Lead the way" I said following her into the darkness of the forest. We came to a stop. We were exactly in the middle of the silent forest. She then turned around and glared. She glared so hard I thought that I would lose consciousness under her gaze. I think that I was shaking a little bit because she said

"oh my dear Isabella. You should be scared. Now that I found you I'm not letting you go. Now that your Edward left you, it doesn't really matter if I kill you or not. So I thought that I should be taking care of you now, see how grateful I am."

"Victoria you can kill me. Its revenge you want" I said Proud that my voice didn't shake. But I really didn't care if I died. The word seemed like a relief to me, a gate to freedom.

She chuckled again but more darkly.

"Yes actually I do want revenge. But you see, killing you will not have any effect on Edward. He doesn't care anymore…so I thought that I would be taking my anger out of you. And you see Bella... Can I call you Bella? I will make you suffer for all eternity and now that I'm thirsty… It shouldn't be a problem"

She said as she threw herself at me in a blur. She tackled me to the wet dirt, I turned my head to the side as she licked my throat.

I was petrified.

"Isabella I shall savour your blood greatly" she said as she bit me with her razor sharp fangs. I could feel it piercing my skin as my scream cut thru the air.

After that it was Pain.

Pain arching thru my body, especially my neck it was like the venom was taking over me by force. Eating, destroying everything from its pass.

It didn't know what was happening.

The only though coursing thru my dying brain is the unbearable burning.

My body cried tried to reject the pain, and I was sucked again and again into a blackness of agony. It was as if there was a battle inside of me feeling my body twist and flip when I couldn't possibly move because of the pain. It continued to reach, to stretch…

Inside of me, something had yanked the opposite direction.

Ripping. Breaking. Agony.

The darkness had taken over, and then washed away to a wave of torture. I couldn't breathe I couldn't even open my eyes. I wanted to see the world for a last time because I felt myself slipping—there was nothing to hold on to.

The warmth beside my heart got more and more real, warmer and warmer. Hotter… so hot uncomfortable… Much, much too hot

It was like pressing the curling iron onto my chest. But I wasn't doing anything, my arms were dead, lying somewhere at my side. The heat was inside of me.

The burning grew—rose and peaked and rose again until it surpassed anything I'd ever felt. I wanted to die. Death was more acceptable than this. The endless burn raged on.

I don't know when, but suddenly my hearing got clearer and clearer, I could count the frantic, pounding beats of my heart to mark the time. I could hear light footsteps and whispers. I knew that if I opened my mouth I would shriek and trash. If I opened my eyes as much twitch a finger—any change at all I would lose control.

"When do you think she's going to wake up" I heard an unfamiliar voice.

"Impatient are we? No?" that voice! Victoria…but didn't she kill me or….

"My patience is running low Victoria…we should be home by now! Why did you have to bring her along." The other voice complained

"Silence." Victoria hissed "go hunt or something, you're annoying."

I heard the other one growl and her steps faded to who know where.

I was left with silence and the torture of my body. Then I heard an all too familiar chuckle.

"Isabella you don't have the any idea what you're in for. "She said "and it's just the beginning" her chuckled echoed away. I was left again in silence…

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the one and only: amayacullen92