Something Deeper

A/N: I don't own the Office, I just like it. This fic is a reaction to my own Frustration while watching the pain my favorite Office couple went through

in Secretary's Day. I couldn't understand why no one told Erin that Angela cheated on Andy.

Erin stirred her diet coke as she sat in the food court listening to Kelly talk about her new outfit she'd just purchased at Old Navy, though not really hearing anything. Kelly had decided to invite Erin out shopping to try to cheer her up after her break-up with Andy. At least Ryan wasn't with them this time. Hanging out with Kelly usually included being her personal sounding board, not that Erin minded. Having a friend she could really talk to just meant having someone else who could let her down. Being a mere sidekick to Kelly took away any chance that Kelly would ever hurt. After all, she had opened her heart to Andy long before they went on there first date and look what happen…What happened, Erin wondered. Had she overacted?

It was the same thing that always happened every time she had allowed herself to care someone and be cared about by that person in return. She remembered her aunt telling her she was being turned over to the state when she was six years old. "I'm sorry, honey, I've got my own kids to worry about…I just can't handle it…every time I look you I see my sister…and the medical bills…"

There were the boys who pretended to like her or girls who claimed they wanted to be her friend only for it to be a part of a very cruel joke. There were the parents who showed interest in adopting her only to back out at the last minute, or the boyfriends who cheated on her after being so doting. There were her co-workers at the office. Though she always came to work with a smile on her face, Erin knew that they really found her very annoying. She saw the way Pam rolled her eyes and the looks Jim gave to the camera crew. She hadn't forgotten Meredith, Stanley, and Toby jumping all over her as though she was trying to sabotage Pam. She was even aware that Michael, who constantly sought everyone's approval really didn't like her as a person.

"Oh, you'll love this, my neighbor," Michael began. Erin felt a sudden surge of panic and shot up. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go home and feed my cat," Erin answered hastily. She searched her purse for change for the bus. Andy had driven her to work that morning.

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, I'll take the bus."

"That's ridiculous, Erin," said Michaela as he followed her to the street. "I can drive you."

"I'll be fine," Erin replied. She stopped suddenly as she saw Andy in his car.

"What's going on?" asked Andy as he got out of his car.

"Erin thinks she's going to take the bus home," said Michael.

"Erin knows she's going to take the bus home," Erin corrected. Andy grabbed her arm as she walked past him. "Let me go," she said in a low angry voice.

"Erin, I know your upset with me, and you have every right to be. But let me give you a ride home."

"No!"

"C'mon, Erin," said Michael. "We don't want anything to happen to you."

Erin pulled her arm out of Andy's grasp and glared at Michael. "Don't." she hissed.

"Don't what?" asked Michael confused.

"Don't pretend to care," said Erin with fresh tears. "I can't take it when people pretend to care."

"Erin-"said Michael weakly.

"Just leave me alone-both of you," said Erin as Andy looked like he was about to day something. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Erin ran to the bus stop sat on the bench and stared at the space in the opposite direction. Both men watched in silence until Erin got on the bus then proceeded wordlessly to their own cars. The next day at work, Erin had gone about her normal routine though much more subdued than normal. She was well aware of what people in the office thought of her and what they said behind her back. It was as though Andy, her one true friend had become a part of all that.

"I'm going to Lerners," said Kelly. "Ready?"

"I think I'll just sit here a little longer," said Erin. "I'm feeling a little light headed."

Kelly looked as though she was about to say something but she suddenly noticed Ryan across the food court and ran over to him. Erin felt a wave of relief washing over her.

"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar voice. Erin looked up to see Phyllis. She shrugged and Phyllis sat down. "How are you holding-?"

"Please don't ask," said Erin earnestly. Phyllis sighed.

"Look, I know that you're really upset over everything. I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through, but I think there's something you should know."

"What?" asked Erin as she began shredding her napkin. Tears pricked her eyes for the thousandth time in two days.

"Angela started cheating on Andy with Dwight the night he proposed to her. I caught them after a party in the parking lot."

"What?" said Erin, forgetting the sense that Andy had somehow betrayed her.

"I still regret not exposing that bitch sooner," said Phyllis. "The whole office knew for almost a month before Andy found out. Angela refused to tell him herself. He was hurt and humiliated. It was as if he had lost faith in love…Until you came along." Erin bit her lip, not know what to say to this new found information. Phyllis continued. "It wasn't only the cheating. Angela always treated Andy horribly, putting down his humor, his music, everything that makes him who he is. Andy was never really happy with her…like has been with you."

Erin looked up from her shredded napkin. Suddenly the humiliation she'd felt at being the only one who didn't know about Andy and Angela seemed trivial compared to what Andy must have felt. Her mind wandered to all of Andy's Grand gestures like the drum line and the Secretary's day activities. There were also the small things like showing up at her place when she got sick on the night they were supposed to have their first date and all the times he'd seen the weird side of her personality and didn't freak out. There was the kiss in the city dump.

"I need to go see him," said Erin as she stood up abruptly.

"Isn't Kelly your ride," asked Phyllis.

"I'll take the bus," said Erin. "Besides, Ryan's here. She won't know I'm gone."

"You're not taking the bus again, young lady, I'll drive you," Phyllis insisted. Erin decided not to argue. There was just something more formidable about Phyllis than Michael or Andy. Ten minutes later Phyllis was dropping her off in front of Andy's house.

Erin walked up to the front door. She hesitated and turned to see Phyllis giving her an encouraging nod. She nervously knocked on the door. Her heart thumped against her rib cage as an eternity passed before Andy opened the door. He looked as though he'd been crying, making Erin feel even more guilty.

"Erin," he said in surprise.

"Hi, um, can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

Erin turned to Phyllis and gave her the okay sign. Phyllis smiled and drove off. Erin nervously stepped inside as Andy gestured fir her to come in and closed the door. He took a deep breath.

"Look, Erin, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Angela. It's just-well it's over-" Erin put her hand on his mouth to stop his talking.

"No, I'm sorry," she said.

"You're sorry?" asked a bewildered. "For what?"

"For overreacting, throwing a huge piece of cake and freaking out at you in front of everyone, oh and for basically ruining the nice day you planned for me."

"You have nothing to apologize for," said Andy. "I should have told you about Angela."

Erin gaped had him. How could he be so understanding?

"I have everything to apologize for," Erin insisted. Andy started to shake his head. "No, I do. Phyllis told me about Angela cheating on you."

Andy sat weakly on his couch and buried his head in his hands. Erin felt a surge of anger at Angela as she remembered Angela's anger that Erin had supposedly embarrassed her by reminding everyone she's slept with Andy. She didn't seem to feel the least bit guilty about having cheated on him.

"I really want to punch her in the face, Andy, and I've never wanted to hit anyone in my life. I mean after all the time she's called other people terrible names, what she said about Jim and Pam's baby, the way she's judged Kelly, Meredith and everyone else…Whatever they've done is nothing compared to what she did to you." Erin felt a tear out of the corner of her eye and brushed it away.

Andy looked at her and took her hand. "I'm still sorry I didn't tell you. I just don't like thinking about it, let alone talking about it; but I still should have told you."

"Even so, you didn't deserve to be freaked out on like that. Andy, you're the best friend I've ever had, ever. I've had so many people pretend like they've cared my whole life. I got scared when Michael told me about Angela. I couldn't handle even the remote possibility that you were only pretending."

Andy reached over and brushed Erin's hair out of her face. "I've never pretended anything with you," he said. "Except when I said I wasn't talking about a real date after we played Belles, Bourbon, and Bullets." They both smiled weakly. "I should've just admitted I wanted to go out then."

"You and me both," said Erin.

"Look, Angela-she always made me feel bad about myself, like there was something wrong with me. You've always liked me for who I am. I wasn't really happy when I spent time with Angela, I was just afraid of ending up alone. I'm always happy when I'm with you. Despite the fact that Angela and I were together for a year, there was nothing real. Everything is real with you, Erin."

Erin leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Andy's neck. "I never should have doubted you," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm such an idiot."

"No," said Andy. "I'm the idiot who wasted all that time not asking you out. I don't want to waste any more time." Andy gently pulled out of the embrace and looked Erin in the eyes. "I can't guarantee that I'll never screw anything up, but I can promise that I'll never do anything to intentionally hurt you."

Erin couldn't think of a reply. She looked at Andy's face and knew he was sincere; more sincere that anyone had ever been her entire life. She smiled her first true smile in two days, cupped his face in both of her hands, gently kissed him on the lips and rested her forehead against his. "I don't want to waste any more time either," she whispered. Andy smiled as Erin rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. He wrapped his arms firmly her.

"I love you," he whispered. Erin's eyes shot open and her heart raced. She gulped nervously.

"I love you, too."