Hello, everyone! Happy Wednesday. I have a question before we get on with the story. I read this really amazing fic and I can't think of the name. Bella was dating Carlisle after he left Esme and his kids. He's an alcohalic and Bella had no idea that he had been cheating on his wife with her. Edward hates her, but she ends up falling for him and wanting to leave Carlisle. That's all I remember. Any help? I hope you like it. It took fucking forever. Review!

I got home that day by one o'clock. Dad wasn't home and I wasn't surprised. When I first decided that I wanted to move in with Dad, Mom had tried to warn me off with stories about his absence and how lonely she had been. I ignored them, convincing myself that I would be okay. Dad and I were practically the same person. But he was a man and I was a woman. And I was a fuck up. He was a police officer. Kind of a contradiction, huh? I tossed my bag to the floor and fell down with it. I leaned back against the door, closing my eyes and giving a small sigh. The house was empty and so was I. The dried tears on my face made my skin feel tight. I stood up after a moment of silent and winced as I felt the pain in my feet. I stumbled up the stairs and into the bathroom, grabbing a towel out of the linen closet on the way.

I turned the shower on, letting it warm up before I undressed. I shed my restrictive clothing and basked in the joy of being naked. This was the closest I could get to being free of my problems. Free of my clothing. I stepped into the tub, standing for a moment, before my legs gave out and I had to sit down. The weight of the water pouring down on me felt like tears from heaven. I had no energy to actually wash myself, so I stayed unmoving under the spray of water, letting it wash away my sins. I looked down at my stomach, wondering what the baby might think if it saw me like this. Would it be disappointed it had such a weak Mother? Or would they understand the suffering?

I never wanted this baby to understand my misery. I never wanted them to be unhappy. They deserved a better life, no matter what they were or who they were. I had a secret fear the baby would hate me for letting myself get raped like I did. What was the matter with me? If I hadn't been so stupid to walk home alone, drunk nonetheless, it never would have happened. Maybe I would have gotten home in time to stop Mom, or throw the fucking pills away. Maybe I wouldn't have to feel this guilt, this overwhelming pain that haunted me like a spirit. I was damaged, I finally realized. And I needed to fix myself. For the sake of the baby. For the sake of my sanity.

There was a banging on the door and I jumped. Dad's voice rang through, a slightly panicked tremor in his voice. My eyes widened and I realized the water was icy and weakening. I must have been in there forever, I thought. I leaned over and turned the water off, shivering as the air turned cold and goose bumps rose on my skin. I stood up on shaky legs and reached for the towel on the toilet seat and wrapped myself in it, before opening the bathroom door a crack. Dad was standing there with his gun belt still on, looking through the slant worriedly. I opened it all the way and he gasped. I must have looked like a drowned rat.

"Why didn't you call me to come pick you up? It's freezing." He said, ushering me into my room. When I stumbled and my towel almost fell open, he stepped back and covered his eyes. I limped into my bedroom, shutting the door with a click behind me. I dried myself off, focusing on the slight curve between my stomach and my vagina, almost like I was drying the baby. Once I was dry, I pulled on an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants before stepping out into the hallway. Dad was waiting where I left him, with his hands still over his eyes. He took them away, slowly, before seeing I was clothed. I started to walk over to him, but I tripped over my numb foot and he caught me with a grunt.

He looked down at my foot and his breath caught in his throat. "Bella, what did you do?" He asked, leaning down on one knee to get a better look at it. I kept my eyes on that wall across from me. "This could be sprained."

I shook my head. It's just a little twisted, I wanted to tell him. Kind of like my head. But I stayed quiet, letting him inspect my injury like a concerned Father. He looked up at me with a pained look in his eyes. He thought I did this on purpose. He thought I wanted to hurt myself, I realized. No, Daddy, I would never put my baby at risk. I was just letting out my anger. Perhaps we should invest in a punching bag.

Dad sighed, standing up. He held on to my shoulders and looked me square in the eye. "You have an appointment with the counselor tomorrow at two o'clock. It's on going, so you'll go every Wednesday until we decide you're stable."

I resented that. I was stable. Granted, I wasn't very happy, but I was stable. I wasn't some sort of Jack Nicholson in The Shining type lunatic. I could be normal. One day, I could be normal. Dad took a deep breath and hung his head.

"I don't think you should keep the baby." He said, meekly. "You're in pain, sweetheart. This baby would just be a reminder of- Bella!"

But it was too late. I turned away and slammed my bedroom door shut as I fell on to the floor, heaving. Get rid of it? Turn it over to someone else like it was recyclable? No. Never. I would never let this baby feel unimportant. This baby kept me going. Without the knowledge I would soon be a Mother...I would have no reason to even be alive. I would not be my Mother. She abandoned her baby. I could not do that. I would not make the same mistakes she did. I would not be her.

Out of nowhere, I felt the overwhelming urge to heave. Bile rose in my throat and the very little I had eaten that day rose up my throat. It spilled out on to the floor and kept coming up until I was laying face first in it, unable at move. I was numb. The pain was taking over and I just wanted to lie here forever in a puddle of my own misery, drowning in sorrow. But I knew this could not happen. Dad was still banging on the door, demanding I open up. I sobbed into the floor and ignored the slimy feeling of the bile waste all over my body.

Why didn't he just kill me? I would rather be dead physically then emotionally. Physically, you were always gone. There was no bouncing back. Emotionally...you were expected to recover. And I just didn't see that happening.

The next day, I woke up in a cold sweat, still on the floor. I was caked in my own bile and I felt myself getting sick again. I stood up and ignored my aching foot, racing to the bathroom. Dad was asleep in the hallway and I ran by him, barely making it to the toilet in time to empty the contents of my stomach again. There was barely anything in there, but water and crackers. Dad woke up at some point and came in to hold back my hair, whispering soothing words of comfort to me as I shifted between crying and puking. When it was over, I reached up and flushed the toilet, setting my forehead on the edge of the seat. Dad started the shower, pulling me up. I knew he wanted to put me in there, but he had no idea how to go about undressing his seventeen year old daughter. I waved him away, pulling my shirt over my head as he turned away. He closed the door with a click and I stepped into the shower, nude except for the mask of shame that consistently presented itself on my face.

When I was out of the shower and away from my thoughts, I gladly noted Dad was back in his room before getting dressed. I pulled on a pair of loose jeans and the large jacket I wore yesterday. It had been her brother's jacket back home. He had been a dear friend of mine and had given me the jacket to wear on the night of the attack. I hadn't really had the heart to take it off. It was like it was a part of me now and if I had to give it up...I may scream. I pulled on my shoes, feeling the stinging pain as they contrasted with the soft quilting of my bed. I bit back a grunt of pain as I stood up and wobbled down the stairs. Dad met me at the door, offering me an apple. I reluctantly took it, before shoving it in my bag for lunch later that day.

"Your appointment is at the hospital," Dad told me, uncomfortably on the way to school. "I made you a...lady appointment or whatever they're called for the baby. I read somewhere that you should go once a month, but I don't know if that's right. I got you one just to be sure."

I nodded, silently telling him he was right. The nurses told me the same thing at the hospital in between their warnings of pregnancy and disease. I had secretly done research lately too, on products of rape. I read somewhere that babies that are the product of rape need to see a doctor more frequently than normal children. That made me sick, knowing that the way my baby was conceived would follow them for the rest of their lives. I wanted them to branch out from this. I wanted them to be better then me, then my Mother. I wanted them to make a good life for themselves and their family, whenever they decided to have one.

"Call me today when you need to get picked up." Dad said, softly as I went to climb out of the car. "I'll look into getting you a car sometime this week."

I walked into the school and was surprised to find Alice waiting by the doors. She spotted me instantly and ran over to give me a hug, but stopped when she saw the dark circles under my eyes. I knew they were worse then they were yesterday, but I shook my head, telling her not to worry. She still had a suspicious look in her eyes. I followed her to my homeroom, which she stayed in, for fear of leaving me alone. She checked with the teacher, who gave her the okay. I actually think the teacher was a bit frightened of me. I know Lauren and Jessica had already spread the rumor that I was rabid and I had threatened to bite Lauren in English.

It was better then everyone knowing I was pregnant.

Mom would've had a heart attack if she knew I had gotten pregnant. I wonder if she was frowning at me now, from wherever she was. Whether it was Heaven or Hell or somewhere in between. Wherever she was, I knew she would be happy that I was unhappy.

"Bella?" Alice said as I stood in the doorway of my English class. "Are you going in?"

I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. I stepped, avoiding Mike who was drooling at me from across the room and Jessica who was chatting him up with a straight view of her breasts. It was sickening how jealous she was of me, even though I had no desire to seduce Mike, despite her beliefs. I took my seat across from Lauren and the girl I had learned was named Katie, pulling out my notebook like I had yesterday. Lauren snorted as I began to write down what the teacher was saying, but his words quickly morphed into my thoughts and before I knew it, the bell had rung and I had filled up twelve whole pages. Jessica was still shamelessly flirting with Mike, who was still shamelessly staring at me. I stood up and followed the rest of the kids out of the room, heading to Science like Alice had showed me. We had that class together and she had requested that her and I were seated next to each other to avoid any awkward encounters with the opposite sex. But, alas, Mike was in this class with this friend, Tyler.

"Hey, Bella, right?' Mike stuttered, coming up to me. "I'm Mike."

"Oh my gosh, Katie, what a cute thong!" Alice said, squealing a little bit. Mike whipped his head around and Alice snorted. "Sit down, horn dog."

Mike glared at her and went back to his seat, eyeing me the whole way. I shivered and without meaning to, I scooted closer to Alice. She scooted closer to me too, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Don't let him scare you, Bella. He's a cheese ball."

I snorted, agreeing with her. I stuck my hand in my jacket, rubbing the baby out of anxiety. Alice passed me a note once the class started, leaving me a little surprised. I scanned over it, curiously.

I know you won't talk to me...but, will you write to me?

I smiled at her persistence. But could I write to her? I didn't speak for fear of revealing my secrets, my guilt. But writing was speaking on paper. Would I reveal my guilt on paper? I looked down at the paper and at the small pen in my hands. Could I do it? I was so full of self doubt. I knew I was strong before all of this. Couldn't I find the strength in me again?

No.

I shook my head at Alice, sadly. She pouted her lips and brought the paper back to her with a huff. She scribbled something down in her girlish writing and slipped it back to me with a sigh.

Fine. But can I still talk to you like this?

I nodded, letting her have at least this fun. She gave a bright smile and continued to write.

I want to ask why you don't talk, but I'm not sure how you would answer. My brother always tells me to mind my own business, but I want to know.

I read this, gulping. I looked into her deep hazel eyes and shook my head. You can't know, I thought. You would hate me like everyone back in Phoenix. You would hate me as much as her. You would hate me for being so stupid, you would hate me for bringing an innocent child into my mess. You would hate me. She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout and tilted her head to the side. I felt myself growing weaker. She looked so childish, it was strangely unnerving. I shook my head again, tapping the paper. Write something else, I wanted to plead. Let me feel normal for just another minute.

If I guess, will you nod if I'm right?

I thought about it. What was the harm? I mean, it wasn't as if she would ever guess that my Mother killed herself because I was a selfish brat and I got myself raped out of pure stupidity.

Were you abused as a child?

I shook my head. I felt terribly deprived with my Mother, but never abused. Unless you count the monster.

Were you molested?

Molested? No, I suppose not. There were a few inappropriate brushes of the flesh with the monster, but nothing real. It was only ever crude remarks and squeezes in the night. It was never anything I couldn't handle. I shook my head again.

Were you born mute or something?

I smiled, looking up at her. I shook my head, but gave her a look that told her that was a good guess. She sensed she was getting closer, I knew, but she was getting farther away. I almost felt hopeful she would guess the right thing, so I could get it off my chest.

Are you-

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Everyone rushed out of the room and I felt the brightness of the lights as they went on. Mr. Banner rolled the television back to the corner, and I realized we must have been watching a movie. Alice looked just as surprised, putting the note in her purse, like she was saving it for a rainy day. She held her arm out, hoping for me to loop mine through. I felt horrible, but I walked ahead of her, ignoring the offer. I wasn't ready for that kind of close contact yet. She skipped behind me, catching up without a word.

"I'm beginning to think you don't like me." She murmured sadly, in my ear. I spun around in the middle of the whole way and frantically shook my head at her with wide eyes. You're the closest thing I have to a friend here, I wanted to yell. We could be best friends if I wasn't such a fucking nut job. She smiled instantly, glad I had denied the accusation. She held her arm out again and I tucked my arm into my jacket, feeling the baby. I gave her pleading eyes, hoping she would catch on to my comfort level. Her mouth opened in the shape of an 'o' and she nodded.

"You really don't like to be touched." She said, the reality of it dawning on her. "You know, there's a name for that."

I snorted. Yeah, it was called trauma in my case, Alice. I didn't just feel jumpy around men because the...thing...that did that to me, stuck it in from behind. I didn't know what he was. I saw nothing, I passed out like a coward. There could have been a women with him. It could have been a transsexual. Though I doubted one would be able to get me pregnant. I didn't know. There was a world full of endless possibilities as to what was going on behind me and it made me want to hide in the corner. I was no help to the police. I didn't see his face. I didn't see anything but the cold, hard ground and the inside of my eyelids.

Alice left to go to Calculus and I wandered the halls, until I had to check in with Coach Clapp. I was excused from the class, but I was still supposed to let him know I was there. I was told that he would need my help with papers and equipment, but Coach seemed to be so uncomfortable around me that he just told me to find something to do. I usually sat on the bleachers while they ran on the track, thinking. I spent a lot of this time thinking about my Mother.

She loved to dance. She would dance all night long in her old, beautiful ballerina slippers. They were a dusty lilac color, and the ribbons that wrapped around her legs made her look like a true ballerina. She would hum songs from her childhood, entertaining on the monster's order. I know why the caged bird sings, she once told me after a night of dancing. She sat on the edge of my bed, wiping away my tears and hushing my sobs. The caged bird sings because it's begging to be let out. Mom was begging to be let out and she was jealous I wasn't being held in.

My Nana was a saint. I remember sitting in her lap, rocking back and forth in the old wooden chair in front of my bed. She would whisper stories about the old country and rub my hair until I stopped crying. She would hum my lullaby, my hallelujah lullaby, until morning came and all was well. I sometimes wished Mom was more like her. More soothing, more lovable, more generous. But she was my Mom, Nana told me. No one could replace your Mother. But I could actually think of a few wonderful people that would work well in her place. Hannibal would be a fine example, I thought bitterly. I would have eaten a human liver if it meant finally leaving that terrible prison. I would have done anything. But I would have never killed my Mother.

After Nana passed, Mom stayed up with me at night and sang me the hallelujah lullaby. She wasn't as soft as Nana, but it got me to sleep. I became dependant on it, insisting she sing it every night until I was fourteen and she met the monster. That was when all things beautiful disappeared and Hell was raised in our home. It slowly turned into a dungeon, leaving all things homey in the fire the monster lit. Most would call it teenage angst, but I really felt like I was trapped in Hell.

And it still felt like I was never getting out.

Lunch came around sooner then expected and Alice waved me over the same way she had yesterday. She frowned on my small snack and offered me some of her chips. I shook my head, turning down the generous offer. I didn't need any pity. Angela and her started chatting about what movies we were going to rent for Friday night, and Ben eventually joined in. Apparently, he was dying to see some new movie about an alien taking over the minds of all humans. It sounded a little too sci-fi for my blood, but Angela told him they would look for it. Alice was insisting they get Confessions of a Shopaholic. Angela groaned when she said this.

"No, Alice. We got that the last time!" She whined, spooning some yogurt into her mouth. Alice pouted.

"But you fell asleep before you saw the end." She said, crossing her arms. "Bella likes that movie. Right, Bella?"

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, indicating I had never seen it. Alice's mouth fell open and she squealed. "See, Angie! We have to get it. Oh my God, we have a shopaholic virgin."

I turned my head away at the mention of virgins. Angela noticed my comfort level and shook her head. "No, Alice. We're getting Practical Magic and that's it."

I tried to relax myself, but being so close to Mike was making me uncomfortable. He chair was pushed back so that he was sitting next to me, but still at his own table. He kept brushing his hip against mine and making small whimpering noises, like a kitten. Was that supposed to be sexy? Because he sounded like a cat. I scooted so far away from him that I was nearly in Alice's lap. The funny thing?

She didn't mind. She just let me sit there.

I left soon after for my appointment. It was such a tiny town, walking from school to the hospital was only ten minutes. My foot was feeling a little better since Dad wrapped it up that morning, but I still limped the whole day. The hospital was a large, stark white building with large red letters painted on the side.

Forks County Medical Center

I walked in, wrapping my arms around myself. The last time I was in a hospital, it after the attack. I walked quickly up to the receptionist and cleared my throat. I slipped her my appointment card and she nodded, confused at my silence.

"Room 456," She said. "2nd floor, Psyche wing. Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

Cullen? It wasn't a very common last name and it was a pretty small town, so there was a good chance that him and Alice were related. I nearly groaned at the thought. Alice was my only friend here, besides Angela and Ben. I wouldn't even call any of them friends. They were schoolmates, kids I could kid sit with and not be pressured to speak. They were people I felt comfortable with, as far as that can possibly go. I stood in the elevator by myself, covering my nose and closing my eyes. It smelled like death, I thought. It smelled like sickness and suffering.

I got to the second floor soon enough and followed the orange tape on the ground to room 456. It was a small hallway, darker then the others, but still very flueorescent. I knocked on the door, softly. There was a small sigh and I heard a snap, like a phone hanging up. I was a little miffed that Dad got me an appointment with a man. I mean, it wasn't as if I would ever talk to anyone about it, but it would feel less awkward if I was sitting in silence with another women. The door opened and a tall, older blonde man stood there in the doorway with a smile. He looked down at me, appraisingly.

"You must be Isabella. Please, I've been looking forward to seeing you. Your Father has told me a lot." He said, moving away so I could walk into the room. I brushed by him, cringing. Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me. He smelled very familiar and I sniffed the air, silently. I felt like an animal, I snorted, as I sat down on the small leather chair across from a large couch. Dr. Cullen seemed thrown off that I sat in the chair and not the couch, but he let it slide. I would not be the stereotypical crazy person, analyzed on a couch while the good doctor wrote down notes about my mental health on a medical pad.

"Your Father told me that you weren't very talkative these days," He said, sitting down on the couch across from me. "Care to tell me about that?"

So we were jumping right in? I shook my head, looking down at my feet. Dr. Cullen made a hmm sound and crossed his legs.

"Isabella, your Father filled me in on most all of your situation. Would you like to tell me yourself?" He asked, curiously. I shook my head. He nodded. "Alright. Well, then, I'd like to say it back for you and make sure everything is correct."

He took a breath and I gulped. "You were raped back home in Pheonix the night your Mother killed herself. She was in an abusive relationship with a certain Mr.-"

I shot up and shook my head, frantically. I covered my ears, squeezing my eyes still, still moving my hair from side to side. Dr. Cullen made a shushing sound and tried to calm me.

"It's fine, I won't say his name. Isabella, I'm not sure how I'm going to help if you won't speak though. Will you write your words down for me?" He asked, patiently. I gave him a sad, withering look. He sighed. "I think we might have jumped into this a little soon. Why don't I tell you a little about myself? Would that make you more comfortable?"

I nodded, gratefully. He smiled.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen, I am forty two years old. I have a wife and three children. Edward is the oldest, Emmett is the middle and Alice is the baby." He said, calmly. My ears perked up at Alice's mention. He seemed to notice. "You go to school with Alice, don't you?"

I nodded. He looked knowing.

"She's mentioned you. Apparently you are quite the lab partner." He chuckled. "Anyway, my wife is an interior decorator and Edward owns his own business. Emmett is in his senior year of college at Stanford on a football scholarship. Alice, as you know, is still in high school. Do you have any brothers or sisters, Isabella?"

I had a feeling he knew the answer, but I shook my head anyway. I used to think of her as a sister, but all of that had changed. I had no one now.

"You must be terribly lonely," He noted. "Do you have very many friends?"

I shrugged, giving him a small smile. Alice was my only friend. And Ben and Angela, I suppose. But no one else really made an effort. I guess if I want friends, I should put myself out there, but I was content in my shell. Dr. Cullen had amusement shown in his eyes.

"You have fears of making friends." He realized. "You're afraid you aren't good enough for friends."

I hung my head, ashamed. He sighed.

"Oh, Isabella, you're very wrong. The little streams make the big rivers." He said, tutting me with his pencil.

And suddenly I was relaxed. Nana used to say that, I thought. She used to say all these odd little proverbs her Mother taught her. Maybe he's French, I decided. Either way, I found myself nestling into the chair like it was exactly where I belonged.

The week past uneventfully. It was slow and I often found myself drifting farther and farther into my head, but Dad always pulled me out. I noticed Alice elbowed me regularly at lunch and in Science, making sure I was still all there. It was comforting to know I had people watching out for me, but it was still strange. In Phoenix , Mom just let me do whatever I want. She didn't care who I was with or where I was, as long as I was still in Phoenix , suffering along side her. It was Friday and Alice called Dad yesterday to ask about the mini party. He seemed surprised that I had accepted an invitation so soon.

"You really want to go?" He asked, running a hand through his hair. I nodded, slowly. He grunted and shook his head. "That's fine with me. It's good to see you making friends. Alice Cullen is a good girl, never gets in a lick of trouble."

With that settled, Alice told me she would come by and pick me up around five thirty on Friday night. Angela mentioned something about it usually running into Saturday night, so I brought some extra extra clothes just in case. Ben wasn't allowed to stay the night, but he stayed pretty late, Alice informed me. Usually he left around two or three, before coming back for breakfast in the morning. We all thought that was pretty unnecessary, but Angela's Dad was a Reverend at the local Catholic church and he didn't like the idea of Ben and Angela anywhere near each other past midnight. But her Mom let it slide. I waited on the porch steps with my bag, holding the baby in a cradle, the best I could. It wasn't big enough to hold completely in my arms, but it was growing. I was getting really tired of calling it, well, it though. But I wouldn't find out the gender for at least another month and a half. Maybe even two.

Alice pulled up in a shiny silver Volvo, honking her horn. She waved at Dad, who was standing by the door and winked at me as I got in. "Hey, Bella. Long time, no see." She joked, pulling out of the driveway. "I hope your hungry, because my Mom got enough pizza to feed an army."

I nodded, giving her a weak smile. I noticed she had been driving this car all week, but Ben mentioned something yesterday about her car being in the shop. I tapped the seat, giving her a confused look. It took her a few seconds to catch on. "Oh! You're wondering if this is my car. No, I would never buy a Volvo. It's my brother's, he's visiting for the next few months. He's in the middle of a divorce and his bitch took over the house with her new boy toy."

\

I nodded, like I understood. I knew divorce very well, I recalled. The screaming, the smashing, the tears. All of this was me, keep in mind. Mom and Dad were much worse. I'd always wondered why my parents divorced, but I guess in the end, some people just aren't compatible. Mom swears that Dad was an over worked ladies man, drooling at every piece of ass that went by. But Dad always told me it had nothing to do with their feelings. They just weren't meant to be. Explaining this to an eight year old is kind of hard, so I pretty much formed my own opinion as I grew older in Phoenix. I begged Mom to let me stay with Dad, but she had insisted that I would need her soon for growing up, period related things. Turns out, I was always the one going out and buying her tampons and making sure we had Midol that time of the month. Not her.

"Angela is running late and Ben doesn't go anywhere without her, so it's just you and me for now." She chirped, driving down the rainy road like it was L.A. She had on big, bug eye sunglasses and her lips were pursed in a flirty pose. She kind of looked like the Aamco girl. "My brother refused to leave the house tonight, so we'll just have to deal with him. I hope you don't mind. I know your kind of shifty around men."

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. It was no problem, I told myself. Besides, Alice knew I wasn't good around men that weren't familiar, so she would be able to sense if I was uncomfortable. She turned down a dirt road that lead to the wooded area and I scrunched my eyebrows. Where were we going?

"I live in a kind of secluded area." She said, shrugging. "My Dad had this house built for us when Mom got pregnant with me. He wanted us to grow up somewhere safe, but Mom wanted extravagance. I guess they kind of compromised."

We pulled up in front of a huge glass castle in the middle of a cleared circle. There was a long garden on the side of the house, where the walls were completely glass. The front was brown stone, but it had large glass windows that allowed you to look into the whole property. It was amazing. I looked at Alice in awe. She giggled, clapping her hands. "I knew you would like it!"

She got out of the car and I slowly followed her lead, gripping my bag with one hand and my stomach with the other. I knew it would raise some suspicion if I did this in the house, so I begrudgingly let go of my stomach and walked with as much confidence as I could, up the Cullen walk. Alice skipped beside me, before we came to the front door and she swung it open with surprising force. She gave me a sheepish look.

"Sometimes it gets stuck." She apologized, dragging me inside. She took my bag and set it on the long, wide stairwell, before we went into the stark white living room. She had told me earlier that day that her Dad was at a conference in Chicago, so it was just her Mom and now, apparently, her brother.

"Well, this is the living room." She said, throwing her hands in the air. "I can't wait to show you my room, but Mom is dying to meet you first. Mom!"

There was a clicking of heels and suddenly, a petite caramel haired women entered the room, holding a dish towel. "Alice, I'm a bit busy."

"But Mom," Alice huffed. "You said you wanted to meet Bella."

She had a moment of recognition and realized I was standing there, blending into the background, she shook her head, giving me a warm, apologetic smile.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry." She said, drying her hands off on the towel. "I was just trying to finish up some work. Hello, I'm Esme."

I nodded, giving her my happiest smile. It felt so fake and cosmetic, I dropped it as soon as she glanced at Alice. Alice shook her head, quickly, warning her not to say anything about my silence. I instantly was struck with embarrassment, but Esme waved it off.

"Oh, there's no shame in being shy. If you don't talk, it's your decision. Are you hungry? We have pizza on the way, my son is just picking it up now." She told me, shaking my hand. Alice seemed pleased that she remembered to tell her I didn't like close contact. I could deal with a handshake, I soothed myself as I my muscles clench up.

Like clockwork, the front door opened and closed. I held my breath as whoever it was stomped through the house. I heard them go into the kitchen and throw something down on the counter. Esme sighed and ran a hand through her silky hair. Alice huffed and crossed her arms across her chest, shooting me an apologetic look. Suddenly, a flash of bronze hair appeared in the doorway and I my eyes met with a pair of glaring emerald orbs.