Tear flow down my face, as I let out everything. Wishing to go back 10 years, make everything better again, and stop all the pain that I have now. Sitting here on the grass looking at the one place that used to make me happy, I can't help but cry harder. Nothing matters right now to me, and I don't know why. I stopped caring so I wouldn't get hurt, and I'm in more pain then I ever have been.
"You know I never took you as someone who would be all the way over here." Turning around, Troy's there. Why he cares I don't know, but I scares me.
"What now? Don't you think you bugged me enough today, or do you take great pleasure in annoying people?" he sites down, it's apparent that he has no plans on leaving any time soon.
"Why were you at school today?" And there's the million dollar question. I don't answer. "It's everywhere, everyone knows about it, and you show up to school the day after. Shouldn't you be grieving?"
"Troy were did you move from?" avoiding his questions at all costs.
"South Dakota. Why?"
"You're not from around here. You moved here and try to figure it all out, but it's not going to happen. I've never been an open book not even Sharpay know everything. Yet up sit here and try to read me. Your no better then everyone else, who know nothing," he gets under my skin no matter what he says. "If where to put on a smile right now, and every day after this would you believe me?"
"No, cause your not happy."
"They what does it matter if I'm not happy at home, where no one can see me, or at school were they can all have a show. I'm eventually going to have to face everyone so why no do it now, maybe then it'll stop being the main focus of every thing."
"You never answered my first question though." Troy said moving closer and wiping away my tears.
Leaning my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes letting memories of the past invade my head. "My dad used to take me and my brother here when we were younger. He wanted to teach us how to play basketball. I don't know how many times we would come here, but I know I spent more time here then at home. Every time it gets too much I just come here."
"So why don't you just go home talk to your mom? You both are going through the same thing; wouldn't it make sense to help each other?" Snapping my head up from its place on Troy's shoulder the thought of letting him in; gone as reality sets in again.
"See like I said earlier you know nothing, you just proved it with your last sentence. Me and my mother aren't going through the same thing. I lost my brother and she lost the ability to brag about her perfect child. It's what you get for having a heart Troy you end up getting hurt, my mother doesn't have one, therefore she's able to change the blood stained carpet and pretend that it didn't happen." Getting up and walking away from him and my past tears gone and anger replaced them.
"Wait Gabriella I didn't mean to…" Troy said chasing after me.
"Look Troy I came here to be alone. I don't need you chasing after me all the time, Sharpay already does it enough. You're new and yes I'm sure that you'll fine out more about me from everyone around school, but I have no intent in letting you into my life. So why don't you just make it easier for the both of us and leave me alone." And with that I turned around and left.
Walking back into the house I found none other then Sharpay herself sitting on the stair waiting for me. "What now, can't anyone just leave me alone?"
"You ignored me all day; I just came over to see if you were okay. Then I saw all the boxes and I knew you couldn't be okay." Standing up she walked over to me pulling me into a hug. "I just want my best friend back, I want to be the one with the most messed up family, and I really want you to be happy again."
"It kind of sucks that after your dead all that is left of you is a bunch of crap that you surrounded your self with while you were alive. Or at least that's how it seems." Walking up to the first box and pulling out an old family picture. "I can barely remember when we were a happy family or a family at all."
"Are you really going to let her throw everything out?" Sharpay asked going through the boxes too.
"There's not a chance in hell that I'm letting that bitch take away what left of Josh." Saying my finally words on that subject for now I pushed the boxes toward my room.
After going through everything, shedding a few more tears, Sharpay and I sat on my bed a pint of ice cream each and Breakfast a Tiffany's playing on the T.V, not that we were walking it. Things almost felt like they were back to normal, as if nothing in the past days had happened, as long as I didn't think about it for too long. Then Sharpay had to bring up the one thing I wanted to go away that just wouldn't. "So you know Troy asked about you."
"What did you tell him?" Now I was worried that I was already an open book to him. "How much does he know?"
"Calm down Ella, it's like you have no faith in me or something."
"Shar; I've known you forever, and from that I've learnt that I can trust you with everything but a secret, unless it involves you. For all I know tonight he was just seeing how much he could get out of me before confessing to knowing everything already."
"Wait what, you say him tonight, were? Why? How? I couldn't even find you, and he walks in to your life for two seconds and already knows were to look."
"Yeah well I don't think that he was looking for me so much as stumbled upon me. I was at the basketball court, so that's what he was probably looking for, and he got a crying me. And he's not in my life as much as he's around it. I told him that I don't need someone else chasing me making sure I'm okay, that your job."
"But like what did you guys talk about I mean there had to be conversation." Sharpay pried for more information. "Did he help at all?"
"He wanted to know why someone like me would be all the way over there, so I told him and that's about it, reality set in and I realized that I just can't let him in that fast. I'm not getting hurt again."
"You know your going to end up worse then your mother if you keep doing this, when Josh died he knew that you loved him, he died with you there, yes it sucked for you, but he wasn't alone. I'm scared that your going to be alone, letting people in is hard, but what happens if Troy the one that can help you with everything. We all know that you need someone stable in your life and it's not me, I'm almost as bad as you." Looking down into her ice cream a single tear ran down her face as her voice broke. "I would never be able to do what you did for Shane, letting you go would kill me, I guess the family name has gotten to my head, I'm just too damn selfish." Tears rapidly down her face; I lean over and envelope her in a hug thing are really feeling like old time, me comforting her instead of the other way around.
"Shar I'm not going to kill my self, I would do that to you. I promise I'm not going anywhere, no leaving you behind." Tear filling my eyes too.
"You may not physically try to kill your self on purposely but you've almost done it before, and that killed me inside. I could believe that I had almost let you do that without noticing a thing, I'm just scared that you'll do it again."
"I'm stronger then I was before Shar, if I wasn't than Shane would be with us, I let him go because he deserves to be happy, and that would never happen as long as my mother is living, but I know that I can be, if I couldn't than I would have just gone with him. I'm trying really hard to get over everything, but there's always something in the way stopping me."
"Then maybe you need more people around you helping you." Sharpay hinted. "Someone other then me,"
"What is with you and wanting me too let Troy in, I see nothing special about him yet here you are promoting him. I want to do this without having to lean on anyone else. That's the whole point in getting stronger. I want to put the piece back together for once."
"Okay, but just give him a chance to be a friend, no one said that has to mean letting him in, just treat him the same as everyone else you hang out with. Let him be there to distract you. And by distract you I mean open you eyes and see how fucking hot he is. He has to be good in bed if he looks that good." Sharpay said looking all dreamy.
"Your more like a guy then a girl sometimes, you're telling me to sleep with him, friends with benefits type a thing."
"Yeah you've had no problems with it before; in fact you've always been okay with skipping the friend's part and just hooking up with as many guys as possible."
"Wow I think that you have to be banned from talking about me to people that haven't meet me, because you make me sound like the biggest whore around."
"Well people tend to get mad when you advertise wrong so I'm just helping in the long run, now that I think about it, I should have told Troy that from the beginning, and maybe you would be annoyed at me whenever a bring him up. Maybe you would have come home with a better story tonight about what happened between you two, I'm sure everyone would love to know how good he is one the courts, in more ways then one, if you know what I mean." Wiggling her eyebrow suggestively, making me laugh harder at her being so… herself.
"Shut up Shar," laughing as I pushed her off the bed, landing on the floor hard, "But you know, I like the way you think, I'm determined to be the first to know if he knows how to score or if he will just spend his time on the bench. So for now make sure it's know he's mine."
"And you complain that I act like a guy."
Just like old time Sharpay and I spent the first night in a long while joking around, living in our own little bubble that we had created a long time ago, and having fun. Not letting our eye drift to the many boxes that were scattered across my bedroom floor containing the only part of my brother that I still had.
After more hours of just hanging out, Shar had pasted out next to me, and I lay awake in bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for sleep to take me when I knock on my bedroom had startled me. Getting up slowly trying to not wake Shar I opened it to see none other then Troy standing there. "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in? How did you know that I live here?" Questions flooded my head.
"Whoa slow down just grab some shoes and come with me and I'll answer any question you have."
"What about Shar?" I asked looking back at her sleeping.
"I already left her a note just encase she wakes up, now rumors are that you were always up for an adventure so let's go and have some fun." Grabbing my hand he pulled me out of the house and into the dark streets. With a smile on my face I gladly followed him ready for a night filled with even more fun then I had expected, silently thinking that maybe for once Sharpay was right.
Walking down the street next to Troy he kept up on his promise and started to answer all my questions. "Well I guess you already have your answer to the first question, so on to number two. You must be used to people breaking in because one the door wasn't locked and two you dropped your keys in the cafeteria at lunch, so number three. Everyone knows that you live here, plus I followed you home and you led me here, yes I know a little stockerish but I had to know for sure. So do you have any more questions or is that it?" Shrugging his leather jacket off himself he wrapped it around my shoulder noticing that the chilly night air was getting to me.
"Thanks." I mumbled putting the jacket on properly. "So what exactly are we doing tonight or do you even have a plan?"
"Well you said that I was new around here and I didn't know how things work, well yes that is true, but what else is true is that you don't know anything about me either."
"I know that you lived in South Dakota, how boring could that be I mean isn't it all like trees and stuff."
"See you're sadly mistaken, and tonight I'm going to show you something that I used to do all the time back in South Dakota."