Disclaimer: How I wish Gakuen Alice was mine, but nope, it belongs to Tachibana Higuchi.
A/N: I have assumed that Mikan will escape with Yuka from the Academy before the Alice War.
This chapter also mentions of the Materialization Alice--an alice that enables the wielder to create things out of thin air.
CHAPTER TWO: REALIZATIONS... AND THE DECISION
Mikan was quietly walking from the infirmary back to the middle school dormitories, still thinking about what Hii-sama told her this afternoon--about Natsume's condition and that mysterious 'method' that needs her Stealing Alice. She replayed the conversation for the nth time in her mind. Among everything that the principal told her, what bothered her most was deciding 'between Natsume's life and their feelings for each other', and it frustrated her more that she didn't even know why the method would be between those two. Of course, whatever happens, she would choose Natsume's life. She can't afford to let him die, especially if according to Hii-sama, there's no other way to save him. But what she couldn't understand was…why would saving Natsume's life put their feelings for each other at risk? No matter how hard she tried thinking about it, she couldn't find a single idea why would that happen.
Mikan, finally giving up, shook her head in frustration and shouted at the top of her lungs. "Don't make me think difficult things!!!" she bellowed.
A hard thunk of metal made her shut up. The hit created a big lump on her head, a size of a golf ball. She didn't have to guess where that came from.
Mikan turned around and just as she expected, Hotaru was standing not a few paces away from her, holding her newly remodeled Baka Gun.
"Hotaru!!! Why did you shoot me?!" Mikan wailed, darting towards her best friend at an incredible speed for a bear hug.
The purple-eyed girl, without moving a muscle, swiftly evaded Mikan's 'hug'—which was more of a tackle to Hotaru—and hid her Baka Gun inside her pocket. The brunette fell face down on the ground, causing a scratch on her nose. Mikan moaned in exasperation.
Hotaru helped her best friend up. "When will you learn that I don't tolerate it when you're being an idiot?"
The brunette pouted and dusted herself. "I wasn't being an idiot."
The inventor's stoic face was hinted with amusement. "Oh, so screaming in the middle of the academy grounds is not being an idiot?"
Mikan wasn't in much of a good mood to cope up with her best friend's teasing, so she made a face and started walking ahead. After a couple of paces, she realized Hotaru was silently following her, so she stopped on her tracks.
Without facing her best friend, Mikan sadly mumbled, "Hotaru, I have a big big problem."
Hotaru strutted closer and laid a hand on the nullifier's shoulder.
"As long as it's not about Math, pregnancy, and petty fights with Hyuuga, you're welcome to tell me anything." Then after a short moment, the purple-eyed genius corrected herself. "Oh, I take back pregnancy. You can talk about that too, would be amusing."
Mikan whined. "I'm not pregnant or whatever, and it's not about Math," she stopped and thought, "—well, I do have problems with Math too," then her face fell, "—but it's not about that. It's something very important…though yeah, it's about Natsume."
Sensing the intensity of the 'problem' in her best friend's voice, Hotaru clicked the remote control of her duck scooter, and held Mikan's hand as soon as the vehicle came floating.
"Come, let's talk about it over a cup of coffee at my lab."
Mikan smiled at her best friend and squeezed her hand to convey her appreciation. She really needed someone wiser to talk to about this...and she was happy to have someone like Hotaru for a best friend.
***
After re-telling the whole incident to Hotaru, the best friends were enveloped with a long, ringing moment of silence. Mikan stared at her coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world, while the inventor quietly studied the brunette's troubled face while thinking of what to tell her.
"Well, have you decided?" the purple-eyed girl asked, breaking the silence.
The nullifier turned glum and started ranting unenthusiastically. "No… I mean, how can I decide? I don't even know why saving Natsume's life is putting our feelings for at risk—I just don't get it—and I don't even have a single idea how that method works, except that my Stealing Alice is the key. I'm not even sure if my current control in my Stealing Alice is already enough to perform such a difficult-sounding method, and I don't know what Natsume say about this or whatever…I don't know, really, so there's no way I can decide."
Hotaru took a sip on her coffee and crossed her arms over her chest.
"But between Natsume's life and your feelings for each other, which is more important?"
The brunette met Hotaru's eyes with a determined look. "Of course, Natsume's life! What use would our feelings be if he dies anyway…" The determination faltered...and was followed by tears. "But... of course, I... I don't want to lose what we have for each other right now. Especially when difficult times had been over and we're getting along fine like normal dating students would be..."
The inventor cleared her throat. "I see."
Another awkward silence.
Mikan stole a glance at Hotaru, who seemed to be occupied. She didn't dare to disturb her best friend while she was thinking, especially, for her sake. Drying her tears, she sipped her coffee and continued to watch the inventor ponder on the situation. After a few minutes, Hotaru's face lit up as if she had just finished a new invention.
"I think I have ideas about how this 'method' works."
Mikan, upon hearing this, was ecstatic. She knew talking to Hotaru was the right choice. She was about to ask what these 'ideas' were when Hotaru stood up and picked a wireless phone up from her desk.
"I'll tell you later. I just need to confirm something from Narumi."
The brunette was surprised when she heard their former homeroom teacher's name. What does this have to do with Narumi-sensei?
"Nogi. Get Narumi to my laboratory in 10 minutes. And don't enter with him, we have important matter to discuss. I'll talk to you later," Hotaru uttered on the phone over to Ruka, then hanged up.
Mikan couldn't help but feel sorry for Ruka being Hotaru's errand boy ever since the two started dating, but she knew that her best friend just shows her feelings in an extraordinary way. She guessed that now, ever than before, Hotaru depended on Ruka more than she would on her inventions for errands. Which is more of a 'sign of trust' on Ruka, in Mikan's point of view. She smiled at the thought.
Hotaru plopped back onto her chair near the coffee table. She sipped from her coffee cup, and then casually whipped her shoulder-length raven hair back with her right hand.
"I sent Nogi to get Narumi so he'd get embarrassed more with whatever he might see in the fag's place."
The brunette choked on the biscuits she was munching on. She thought about what she was saying about Hotaru and Ruka, then shrugged, 'Or maybe not.'
***
"Narumi-sensei!" Mikan jumped as soon as she saw the blonde teacher enter Hotaru's laboratory.
The brunette, never-changing, ran and greeted her former teacher with a hug. Narumi casually returned the hug, keeping in mind that he couldn't carry the girl into his arms like before, due to an extremely possessive certain fire-caster—a fact that he learned of the hard way.
Narumi messed Mikan's hair that she now wore down, and laughed. "It's nice to see you, Mikan-chan," he nodded his head at Hotaru's direction, "--you too, Imai-san. How are you both doing?"
"Just fine, Sensei! Come, sit down. I'll get you a cup," Mikan said, cheerfully heading to Hotaru's kitchen as soon as she ushered Narumi to sit down.
While waiting for Mikan, Narumi turned to Hotaru. "Aren't you going to invite Ruka too? He's outside, I think."
The inventor just shrugged. "He's not there anymore. Besides, this is about his best friend. He'll just be drastic or overly worried so might as well not let him know for the meantime."
"Oh. So you called me about Natsume-kun?"
Before Hotaru could speak, Mikan yelled from the kitchen. "Hotaru! Go ahead and tell Narumi-sensei what happened when I met Hii-sama! I'm just gonna make some easy-cook lasagna here, I didn't get to eat something before I left Natsume at the infirmary!"
"Fine. Just don't break something there or you'll have to pay," Hotaru replied.
"Mikan-chan! Where's my cup?" Narumi asked, laughing. The cheeky girl was still forgetful, especially when distracted by food.
"Oh, oh, sorry, Sensei! Coming!" A clatter of cups were heard then Mikan came dashing to the table. "Here. Sorry! I'll be back in a jiffy, okay!" Then the brunette rushed back to the kitchen.
"Baka," Hotaru murmured.
Narumi just smiled and poured coffee into his cup. "So, can you tell me what happened? And why you called me here?"
Hotaru started relaying the conversation that Mikan and Hii-sama had. She was already about to finish when Mikan yelled again from the kitchen.
"Do you guys want to eat too?"
Hotaru scoffed. "No way, I don't want to die."
"I just had dinner at the faculty room before coming, Mikan-chan. Sorry," Narumi-sensei answered, though his face looked shifty.
"Well, fine. I could eat this all up anyway," the brunette said, sounding a bit happier that she can have everything for herself.
Hotaru looked at Narumi. "Anyway, as I was saying, it sounds to me that the principal was serious about this. She asked Mikan to choose between saving Hyuuga's life and their feelings for each other."
Narumi's eyes sparkled with glee. "Feelings between Mikan-chan and Natsume-kun? Like music to the ears."
Hotaru glared the words 'DON'T. YOU. DARE. CHANGE. THE. SUBJECT. INTO. USELESS. GAY. THINGS.' The teacher shrank from his seat, sweating profusely.
"S-so, well...why does she have to choose between those two?"
Hotaru plopped biscuits into her mouth. "The lesbo principal didn't say. Mikan said that, of course, she would choose Hyuuga's life, but first, we have to know why the method would involve their feelings against Hyuuga's life," Hotaru poured more coffee into her cup, "—and then I remembered you."
Narumi stared at her with questioning eyes. "Me? Why me?"
"Yeah, why Narumi-sensei?" Mikan asked, occupying her seat. She was holding a half-empty plate of lasagna, and was still gobbling the remaining in full speed.
"Shut up while you're eating and just listen, you idiot," Hotaru ordered in displeasure. Mikan did as she was told and continued eating…or more appropriately said, devouring her food.
"Anyway, Imai-san, what was it you were saying?" Narumi asked, completely curious about why she remembered him regarding the matter.
"Well, as you remember, the four of us were taken to a time travel before the Alice War during elementary right? To see Azumi Yuka's past," Hotaru peered at Mikan who was half-paying attention to them, "—and I remember an incident that Azumi Yuka accidentally stole some of your Alice."
Narumi froze at the memory. He still could feel the emptiness he had after that incident. One incident that he would never forget for the rest of his life.
Hotaru continued. "And I believe, your feelings as well. When she accidentally stole your Alice, her strong emotions to refrain you from loving her anymore stole your feelings for her too."
Narumi sighed and stole a glance at Mikan who was finished eating and was pouring coffee into her cup.
"Not just my feelings for her, but my ability to love altogether. Which was ironic, for someone with an Alice related to love like mine." The teacher shook his head. "For more than a decade after that incident, I lived in a constant war between my head and my heart--my mind knew how much I wanted to see her and how much I still loved her... though my heart remained empty of those feelings I 'know'."
Everyone felt silent. Though not soon, a warm hand rested on Narumi's. When he looked up at the owner of the hand, he was greeted with a bright and heart-warming smile from Mikan.
"At least, Sensei, it's now back, all yours now," she said, aware that her mother returned the Alice Stone with Narumi's ability to love, almost two years ago.
Narumi smiled at the daughter of the woman he loved so much. "Thanks, Mikan-chan."
The brunette, taking her hand, subconsciously stared at it and sighed. "It's really difficult to not know the full extent of your own Alice. Mom told me that when your feelings got stolen in that incident, she was sure she felt something different--and just when she realized it, she had to go and leave you without an apology." She stared at the ceiling, reconciling her brief moments with her mother, Yuka. "Despite having trained my Stealing Alice with her, I don't know how much I really know about my Alice. I might end up doing the same thing to other people just like Mom did to you, Narumi-sen---"
Mikan suddenly gasped, her eyes wide with realization. Hotaru paused from eating while Narumi instinctively stood up and rushed to Mikan's side, asking what was wrong.
"OH. MY. GOSH," the nullifier exclaimed, emphasizing every word that came out of her mouth.
"Mikan-chan, what's wrong?" the human pheromone wielder asked, crouching beside Mikan's chair, holding her hand.
Feeling her lips trembling, the brunette took in a deep breath before speaking. "I... I think I remember. I remember now. The 'method'... that Hii-sama said, I think I know now. Mom and I talked about it during a session of my Alice training with her."
The inventor's brows arched while Narumi stared at Mikan intently. Memories of that conversation with her mother flashed into her mind.
The evening breeze was chilling. Mikan and Yuka were by the window, looking out at the stars, taking a break from Mikan's Alice training.
The nullifier snuggled close to her mother. "Mom... I suddenly remembered, about Narumi-sensei's Alice Stone. Uhm, you know, the one you accidentally--"
"Ah, that. What about it?" Yuka asked, encircling an arm around her daughter's shoulder.
"You're going to return it right?"
The mother smiled. "Of course I will. When everything... when this mess is over."
"I was really surprised that our Stealing Alice can steal even a person's feelings away. How different did it feel from the usual sensation when using our Alice?" Mikan inquired, peering at Yuka who remained staring at the darkness outside.
Quietly, her mother ushered her into the center of the room, closing the window behind them. They sat down facing each other across the tea table.
"I was planning to teach you that soon. And since we're on that topic anyway, I might as well tell you the maximum potential of our Stealing Alice. Then tomorrow, we'll go into practical use."
Mikan, suddenly feeling nervous at how her Alice seemed too complicated for her, took a deep breath and set her mind into concentration.
The brunette, recollecting her mother's words, stated aloud for Hotaru and Narumi to hear. She explained one of the most complicated usage of her Stealing Alice--the one that she believed to be the 'method' that Hii-sama was talking about.
"Mom told me, that one of the greatest utilization of the Stealing Alice... is to completely remove someone's Alice. The person's Alice is extracted to the point he couldn't use it ever again, leaving only a tiny spark of the former Alice's essence so that he would be able to live."
Yuka's words echoed in Mikan's head once more.
"I know the concept sounds crazy or cruel, Mikan. But it's true. During my past 10 years or more of escape, I have used this method a couple of times already, although just in times of emergency. For example, at times when Shiki is not there to put up a strong barrier, and we get detected or tracked with our Alices, I would usually extract my comrades Alices--well, rather, I 'weaken' it, in order to remain inconspicuous. Then not soon after, I would insert the stones back into them. However, the most painful experience I had with this method is... permanently extracting someone's Alice."
Mikan sighed. "Mom said she encountered a little girl with the Materialization Alice on the streets on one of her journeys. The girl was already weak from Alice overuse, even though she was just 7 years old. Apparently, her relatives realized she had 'magic', so they used her Alice for a living, for pleasure, and for petty things. When she became sick and unable to wield her Alice much longer, her relatives asked her to materialize a huge amount of money, and then they left her on the streets. My mom took care of the girl for quite a while and they had a very deep attachment, however, Mom knew that the girl's Alice had been eating the girl's life away despite not being used anymore. And she decided..."
"I decided to extract her Alice away, permanently. I already knew the consequences--that extracting one's Alice erased all memories and feelings that sprang and occurred when the person was aware that he or she had an Alice. Because our Alice is a part of us, holding the same memories and feelings in our mind. However, when the Alice is taken away, the memories and feelings associated with it are all gone--contained inside the Alice Stone. I knew that that little girl, once she opens her eyes, she wouldn't know who am I. And that's what happened. She only knew who she was, her family, but everything after she realized she had an Alice--all of those were gone... It was painful for me but I had to leave her to her new life after that."
Both Hotaru and Narumi were—in an understatement—astounded. Mikan started to weep as images of Natsume losing his Alice as well as his memories and everything they shared entered her mind. So this was it. The reason why she had to choose between saving Natsume's life and their feelings for each other. It was either she lets him die or she lets him forget her and everything they had together. How cruel. Both choices will leave her losing him…losing the man she loved so much.
Hii-sama's words rang in her head. "I can only tell you that this method of 'saving' him, I know, will only cause pain and suffering to both of you… especially you, Mikan. Things between you two will drastically change after, and there would be no point of return."
Mikan buried her face on her hands and continued to sob. It was a lie that she hasn't decided yet. She had decided even before she realized what the method was. It was something she would always choose whenever, whatever the situation and the conditions were. Ever since that day she saved Natsume from killing himself at the AAO headquarters. Ever since she started praying and waiting for him to come back safely after missions. Ever since that day she realized that she would devote her Nullification Alice to protect him. All of those, just to see him alive and well. Because for her, more than anything else, Natsume's life was the most important thing…even if it meant erasing herself from that life.
A/N: How was it? Reviews please! Just simple words will certainly fire me up to write! :)