The Omake Files - The Fifth Man

Uss George Hammond, Heading towards Icarus Base

"So how many realities do you think you were in over those years?" Eli asked.

Harry shrugged. "no more than 30.. quite a few I spent no more than a few months in, one or two even less, but mostly, no more than 2 or 3 years to a single reality."

"How did you manage? I mean, as you said, different realities, different rules? did you have magic in any of them?"

Harry nodded, smiling at the eager 'Math Boy'. "I was in a few where i didn't, and a few where it's use was quite... different. Like in that cartoon'verse. And I managed quite well, in a few..." He faltered, and then added, "But not in every single one."

Eli thought for a moment, before someone in their audience asked, "What was the weirdest?"

"The last reality I visited, a normal-type one." Harry answered straight away.

"How was a normal-type reality the weirdest?" Eli asked. He understood what Harry meant, of course. One where it was most likely not a TV show, movie, or Book in any of the realities he had visited, were Fate and Irony liked to dwell.

Grinning, Harry answered, "It's not the 'normality' of the 'verse I was in that made it weird. It was someone I met." Then he grimaced, "As well as all the other... 'people' I met in relation to a few other things he showed me."

Seeing them eager to hear this, he began.

--

Middle of Nowhere, North West of England

He looked about, really worried about this arrival. Usually, he was near people who could help or knew people who could help him make the jump. The few times he wasn't, he was still around people, just that he had to go hunting for that help.

This was the first time he appeared in the bloody middle of Nowhere, alone. At least he recognised the general area, as after seeing a signpost in the distance, and walking towards it for a few hours, he recognised the design as that used on A-Roads in england. and the name helped him with the general area he was in. He didn't chance apparition in case his magic, like in other realities, had different rules to work on. And he needed to know who could help him anyway.

Then he heard a car in the distance, coming along the road beside which the signpost was stood. He hauled out onto the side of the road, ready to act all hitchhikerish.

The big Citreon Grand C4 Picasso, silver, that stopped made him grateful that Irony this time was taking it easy on him, as normally, the hitchhiker had to ride in either a pickup with chickenboxes on the back, or some traveller in a tiny car that was packed full of that person's gear.

AS it pulled up, he made his way to the passenger door, the knuck sound indicating the doors were just unlocked. He put his backpack in the back, and then got into the front passanger seat.

"Thanks." he said to the driver, who looked only a few years younger than him. Obviously that meant the driver was actually older, as the war in his home reality had had an aging effect on Harry. Harry held in the gulp, he knew that new drivers tended to be... well he didn't wish to say.

the driver nodded, and pulled off. After a minute of silence, he spoke. "So where are you headed, Mr Potter?"

That had Harry flumoxed - nothing he had visible had his name on it. "How did you know-"

"I just do. Don't have anywhere to go?" Harry shook his head. "Alright, then I'm sure you wont mind coming to mine to get changed or anything." The guy sniffed a bit, then pressed a button and the passenger window went down.

"I don't smell..." Harry whispered, as he lifted an arm. he put it back down and choked, "okay, maybe I do."

--

Uss George Hammond

"So how did he know your name?" Eli asked. "I mean, you said, it wasn't..."

Harry nodded, and shrugged. "The Harry Potter books were being adapted into films, actually. As I looked like, but not exactly like, the actor who played me in that reality, Stephen figured it out. Although he figured out my circumtances for different reasons."

Sam spoke up, "You didn't have to tell him?"

With an odd look on his face, as he recalled it, he shook his head. "Now that I remember that..." he smiled slightly, "He said I'd make my home far away from my original. Just realised he meant this." He waved his hands around the room. "This conversation might even be... anyway." Harry quickly stopped and went back to regailing them with the story of that reality.

--

Stephens' house in a small town in North-west England.

Harry finished dressing, and thanked the home owner and her son who found him. "Thanks, didn't realise how refreshing a shower could be."

Mrs Pemberton nodded, and spoke up, "You know, you look a bit like that actor from... Stephen, what show was it?"

with a twinkle in his eye, Stephen was looking at Harry as he said, "The Harry Potter films. Daniel Radcliffe."

Harry nodded, calmly accepting his existence as a story in this one. After it being the case in several realities already, he was quite used to the idea now. Then what Stephen had said filtered in. "Films?" He asked Stephen, as Ste lead him up to his room, where he switched his computer on. As it was booting up, Harry saw the lads' collection of dvd's. Stephen moved a few to get to 5 that were in a hidden row of the things. He showed them to Harry, who went sort of pale. "Films." he whispered. "I'm a bloody film character."

"Actually, you are a book character. My sister borrowed the 7 books ages ago, and she's read them more than I have. The films were just made as adaptations."

Harry nodded.

Seeing the computer was booted up, Harry asked, "So what is it you can help me with on this?"

"Actually, I wanted to check a few facts. Reality-jumping, yeah?"

Harry raised an eyebrow at the lad, but nodded.

Stephen idly went through some list on a website - he didn't catch the address as Stephen hid it quickly. All he knew was it was a website that could hurt the eyes at night. very white. and Stephen was scrolling quickly enough that he was obviously familiar with the page that he could just skim, not too fast to do so, but too quickly for Harry to make out what it was saying. then he clicked something, and a page came up and Harry finally managed to read something. He raised his eyebrows again.

"This, is a story."

"Yep."

"about me."

"Yep."

Harry paused, as he continued to read. "What's 'The Fifth Man'?" He asked.

Stephen shrugged. "Nothing really. So this is when you made the first jump."

Harry stared. "How the bloody hell could you know that?"

Stephen just chuckled, "Irony hates us both?"

"both?"

"Yeah, this story... I wrote it."

Harry's eyes boggled.

--

Uss George Hammond

"Wait, he wrote it? As in, wrote about your reality jumping before you appeared in his reality?"

Harry looked away, and then added, "He was writing it as a collection of 'omakes', small stories, a few scenes, based around a larger story... and..."

"and what?"

"The omakes were written about my adventures during the war, but the main story, was written as happening after it." Then looking at them, he said, "I didn't read much at all, but now that I remember it, I know whyI accepted this as my new home reality so much. The git was writing this stuff as his story."

"But how could he know about the stargate?"

"He didn't tell me, and I didn't really understand it at the time, but at a guess? Like Star Trek is to this reality, this is to his." Blank looks. "A TV show or something. He... even had all of SG-1's names, come to think of it. Said I'd be making my home in another reality after the war, only in 'prophetic terms'. Don't recall his exact words now..."

As Harry frowned, the others shared looks. Then eli brought up the obvious point they were all thinking. "So this, you telling us about these adventures, could be the basis for the omake stories, to tell them through flashbacks?" Harry nodded, lost in thought. "So we're just... he's putting words into my mouth, right?"

Sarcastically, Harry replied, "Yeah, he's putting words into your mouth. and mine."

"Fucking hell that's gotta feel weird." someone said. as heads turned, he added, "Sorry, that was that stephen fella writing this as a scene, and had to make me say that."

"Anyway, after awhile, a few weeks or so, he managed to find some people who could get me back to my own. When I asked, he just said, 'As I'm writing these things, it's writers prerogative to provide a Deus Ex Machina. And I'll be writing that you could use magic in this visit so mind apparating us to America?'" At their looks, Harry added, "And it worked. Bloody fanfiction writer."

Suddenly, Harry felt like he'd been slapped, and a red handprint appeared. Eli had to say, "You just know he's got to write something that makes bad stuff happen to us, now, don't you?"

--

Authors Note:

I know I know, bad form. But It was just begging to be included! I mean, I had to reference that in one of the realities, someone got the details correct for this version of Harry! And with dimension or reality jumping, the time he appears doesn't always have to match up as whatever date it was anyway...

and I don't think I've heard of this, the characters being written as coming to the authors' reality... :P I wish.