Sorryyy I have SATs and I'm really trying to study! Plus, I'm taking writing courses, so see if my stories improve!

By the way, I kind of hit a writer's block here so… yeah… xP It might not be AS good, okay?

Review please!

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"I missed you…" Ryoma muttered sheepishly as an unwanted smile crawled up his face. Shyness and desire were emitted from his dark, cat-like eyes.

And that was enough to bring me to tears.

Every other aspect of my life melted away, and I, with those weights taken away, floated to heaven. Unconscious of my own movements, I let myself fall into his warm embrace. He was surprised, and yet, he returned the hug that he seemed to have been longing.

Suddenly, his eyes fixed on a point, and he quickly took my arm and pulled me behind a tree. It was as if he had popped the bubble that had kept me in my dream.

"Che!" he muttered angrily, his eyes now filled with frustration.

"Nani (what)?" I asked consolingly, as I reached for his hair. A quick turn of his head shook my hand off, leaving me concerned about this bipolarity that had emerged within Ryoma.

"Those are my friends." He simply whispered, as if that phrase had explained it all. I had seen him being quite cold around his friends before, but I never knew the reason why.

"So?" I asked, now extremely revolted about his possible embarrassment of me.

"Demi…" he said softly, pulling my hands together inside his. I stared intensely at the gesture, as if his good energy was being transmitted to me. "My friends… they don't know… well… the side of me… that you know."

"Eh?" I said distractedly, looking up at his troubled face.

"You see, ah…" he continued, ignoring my lack of attention previously. "I really don't want to be here, Demi. I don't. I didn't want to live here, so I figured out that if I acted all cold they would move me. They would notice that I'm unhappy. But… ano yaro (that guy)… he never listens to me…"

"Why don't you like it here, Ryoma?" I said consolingly, now cupping his hands into mine.

"Because everything…everywhere…" he said, almost in tears. "For one, everything tells me that I will turn into him. And that's the last thing I want in my life!"

"And second?" I continued listening, ignoring his friends, who were searching around for, obviously, us two.

"Everything reminds me…" he said as a tear now trickled slowly down his cheek. "Of my mom."

I gasped. We had always shared secrets, talked about our lives, but now, he was opening himself up completely, about the part of his life that hurt him the most.

"But Ryoma…" I stuttered, moved by his tears. "You can get over this! We can get over this! Ne?"

"No…" he hiccupped. "Not even with your help."

"Nande!? (Why!?)" I said almost desperately now. The past was what held him from being a good friend? Was that it?

"I don't want to be like him or remember her." He continued angrily.

"Nande!!" I repeated, as if to alert him to give me an answer. Anger took over me as I breathed heavily. I wanted to break that barrier.

That's when he answered softly as he held back the waterfall that fought to be released from his eyes.

"He killed her."

The color flushed out of me. This revelation of such a dark secret being held back behind a wall of ice. A secret that my best friend held. And I didn't help him.

I felt as if I was no longer on earth as he continued explaining. I sat on my knees and stared at the ground, and let the tears silently run, as if there was no tomorrow.

"He drove her insane… his addictions… she couldn't take it anymore… so she just… just… killed herself…"

I held him tight, and we both sobbed. I regretted everything I ever did to him – he had enough to deal with already. And I truly wished from the bottom of my heart that I had been a good friend and helped. But the guilt began cutting through my stomach now.

We both sobbed in a desperate embrace, ignoring glances from people who now seemed excluded from our world. A world that only we knew about, that destroyed us, that we tried to destroy. We were losing this battle, where our determination was the key to help us through. And of course, our friendship.

Now, there was no way for us to fight. We had to be there for each other. Forever.

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I let his sob in my arms (not desperately, but silently, showing a mixture of anger and sadness as he stared out into nothing). Every once in awhile, he'd angrily shake his head and breathe in sharply, and his face would then return to the face of a child in despair. What about me, you ask?

I was still in shock.

A numerous amount of thoughts swirled around my head, digging into the darkest places, only to haunt me for my bad qualities that they pointed out. And in that embrace I felt his trauma being transferred to me.

And so his obaa-chan arrived.

I helped him clean up (he was maintaining a reputation, and now, I'd be there to help) and we walked to his car.

"But what about the other stories of your mother's death?" I whispered out of curiosity. I just had to know.

"He made them up." He said with frustration. "To cover up his stupid guilt…"

The ride was completely silent as the heavy atmosphere slowly came upon us, bringing a new sense of pressure inside the car. We rode and rode and the road just wouldn't stop… it was an ongoing journey, where my memories seemed to have been laid out, and I watched each moment of our lives pass by me, as we rode a new road that I hadn't seen before…

Wait… I thought. I really haven't seen this road before.

Last time, staying at the hotel had been fine by me. Nothing really happened until I met up with Ryoma at school. But now, this road did lead us somewhere new.

The sight shouldn't be anything new – if Ryoma wasn't so closed, and considered me a great friend. It shouldn't have been a big deal to me. But the sight simply took my breath away. It was like entering a new world, even with its oh-so-ordinary appearance.

His house.

I had never been there. He had never invited me there. And now, without a word, he was taking me there.

And, of course, interrupting my beautiful thoughts, him.

"EEEEhhhh!! Minnaaa!!" he yelled innocently, dressed in that fake religious robe, with his 5 o'clock and his crappy sandals. And my new image of him slapped me across the face, cutting through my eyes.

He was a murderer. And I didn't feel like I could be around him.

Now, I realized why Ryoma had always been so afraid of bringing me here. He was… protecting me. And I had ignored all the care that he had for me. But I felt unsafe, as if he was a threat to me too… until he held my hand.

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OMG that turned out SOOO much better than I had expected! :D I mean, I was always afraid that I was putting him waaaay too much out of character without explaining why, but now, I have a whole new dramatic plot! HAHAHAHA I'm so evilllllllllll xD! This is really awesome, man, I'm enjoying writing this so much… Awww I'm going to continue writing now!!

Please REVIEWZZZ! ^^