Dear Diary,
Today I spent almost all of my savings on a new outfit to wear when the Mirkwood party gets here tomorrow. Sure that may seem like a waste to anyone unversed in the art of recognizing Orophin's hotness(Haldir and Poopie), but the money was well spent, I can assure you. The color is all blue and white and silver, and goes with that one cloak Galadriel wore to Haldir's begetting day last year. I will have to convince her to let me borrow it for at least one day.
So I totally freaked Celeborn out today(but it doesn't count as my revenge) by making a cute little ring out of clay. I ran into the "palace" shouting "I have crafted a ring of power!! I dub thee Orophin'sthehottestelfinmiddleearth!!!", and Celeborn ran out with the funniest look on his face. He said, and I quote, "What is this Orophin'sthehottestelfinmiddleearth?". I laughed so hard, and still can't believe I actually got him to say it!
I showed Feragith the song I wrote, and he laughed, which made me a wee bit mad. But then he complimented me on the talent I showed when I sang it for him, so it's safe to say all is well.
I think my bedroom is haunted. Last night, when I was trying to go to sleep, I heard many funny noises, most of them sounding like moans. I think the ghost haunting me is a dead pervert who likes to watch me sleep. Sooo, I went to knock on Haldir's door, but the noises were in there too, so I think the pervert ghost likes my brother as well. I told him through the door that I was scared and thought there was a ghost, but all I heard was a muffled "Go the hell away!". I think he may have been busy.
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Dear Diary,
The Mirkwood party arrived today, and it was hilarious. We all sat down to a huge feast(who would throw a party because of Legolas and his daddy?), and the food was excellent, in the opinion of a gourmet chef like me. At the quietest moment in the entire meal, Thranduil farted. Yeah, that's right, he farted. And then he says "Legolas, why did you do that!?" so he got all embarrassed and turned really red, and Thranduil just smiled, thinking himself safe. But that didn't fool me, because Legolas doesn't fart. Ever. Because he's such a prissy and is capable of no bodily functions. I'm still undecided as to when I should get him drunk and dress him up as a girl. Haldir has agreed to help, but only after laughing when I informed him that our house is haunted. Butt hole.
Last night, Poopie snored loud enough to wake Feanor from the dead. I almost thought that this was the dreaded Pervert Ghost, but changed my mind as he moans, not snores. Now that I think about it, I wonder why.
I did buy those scented candles I was talking about, but I ended up giving them to Feragith because he's so nice, and the apple scent makes my nose stuffy. He politely thanked me which was a bit of a surprise because no one ever thanks me.
Poopie took my fluffy socks again, but as I have broken in my (Haldir's) boots, I do not really need them as much. They were lucky socks though, and I miss them dearly. Perhaps I shall order the Pervert Ghost to attack him. I can even bribe him with a look at my gorgeous eyebrows.
Speaking of, Legolas was soooo jealous when he saw them. Green is not a good color for him, despite being from Mirkwood.