A/N: Question: Wait. What the hell is this?! Answer: Okay, to make a long story short this is a oneshot-thingy written in almost a drabble format. I know, I know; completely random, right? Except, this little plot bunny has been nipping at my heels for the past week, and writing/publishing this story was the only way to get rid of it. Please note that in this drabble-oneshot-thingy characters get a little OOC: I hereby apologize to all who notice this. Please don't kill me!
Note: To all Caine and Sam fangirls—do not read this story! You have been warned.
Another Note: To all Diana, Astrid, and Drake fans—READ THIS FREAKING STORY!!! If you've been searching through the Gone fan base for a good Diana or Astrid story, this is your stop. Drake even plays a fair role, so I hope to please his fans as well.
Dedication: To peteisawesomeness, ARandomBlonde, and Manawyrmz. You people freaking rock.
The Betrayal
February 4th
Diana
Things have been so…screwed up recently. We're running out of food. People are panicking. There's been talk of cannibalism. I'm getting worried.
But you know what worries me more than the food? Caine.
Lately, things have been getting worse with him.
There's something about him…I can't explain it. A gleam in his eye. That power-hungry look he gets whenever someone talks of overthrowing Sam. I don't know. Something has changed…and it frightens me. More than the coyotes. More than Drake.
Not that I'd ever tell anyone.
February 5th
Astrid
It happened again today. Sam had another break-down.
This time, it was a kid. He was nine years old when the earthquake struck. A tree fell on him, and no one could reach Lana. He died in Sam's arms.
And Sam lost it.
I mean he really lost it. He started crying, his hands started glowing, and he got that strange look in his eye again. It freaks me out when that happens, and it seems to be happening more and more with each passing day. I mean, today it's the kid; what's tomorrow?
And now we have to burry the poor boy…
It's times like these I wish Sam was still sane.
February 6th
Diana
Another meeting today. Caine and Drake were discussing strategy, though I don't know why. We haven't got the man power to invade yet, but invasion is all Caine talks about now a days. He's spending more of his time with Drake, planning his unofficial plans. This scares me.
Today was like all the others. Drake was talking about vantage points and the best shooting spots. I was sitting on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. Caine was focusing on a map someone had stolen for him; the layout of Perdido Beach. Suddenly, Drake said,
"So, Caine, you think your little girlfriend will be ready when the time comes?" I blinked myself out of my daydreams, staring at Drake incredulously. It wasn't unusual for Drake to mock or tease me, but he usually didn't go out of his way to pick a fight with me. Apparently, I just wasn't worth it.
Today was different. Drake wanted this fight.
Maybe it was stupid to want to fight back, but I couldn't help it. There was so much pent up anger within me, that I just couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to take it all out on someone, and Drake was standing right there, close enough to slap.
"Shut up, Merwin. I'm ready for anything you can throw at me." Drake laughed, high and mocking. I scowled.
"Oh, really? You can handle anything I throw at you?" A jolt of fear shot through me. I recognized that gleam in Drake's eyes; it was the kind of look he got just before he shot someone. Still, I stood tall.
"That's right," I said proudly. By now Caine was staring at us, sensing the building tension in the room.
Without warning Drake's whip lashed out. It cut me across the cheek, leaving a red mark in its wake. I tried not to cry out, though I felt tears spring to my eyes. I held them in check and regained my poise, meeting those unbearably cold eyes.
I expected that, at any moment, Caine would come to my defense. He would yell at Drake, tell him to back off, maybe even throw him against a wall. Then I would smirk and watch with cold satisfaction as fear entered Drake's otherwise emotionless eyes.
But the backlash didn't come. When I turned I found that Caine had gone to staring at his map. I nearly exploded.
Why hadn't Caine come to my defense? He had to have seen what had happened; yet he was acting like nothing was wrong. I couldn't believe it.
Seeing my disbelief, Drake grinned. He threw me a wink and went back to planning with Caine, and I knew that he'd won.
I strode out of the room, fighting tears of humiliation. I knew what had happened in there; Drake hadn't really been angry with me. At least, no more than usual. No, he'd wanted to prove a point.
The point was this: I'd lost. I'd waited too long, and Caine had lost interest.
Drake had won. I was alone.
Astrid
Today was Berry, the little boy's, funeral. We were all there, the whole town—except Sam. He'd been too upset to come, moping around the house, moaning something about how he should've been quicker, gone to get Lana sooner. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I left. I was determined to go.
Berry's older sisters, Darlene and Abby, were there. They're only twelve and thirteen, and already so brave. Much braver than Sam…though, now a days, that's not hard to do. Not since his breakdown…
I slapped myself out of my thoughts. A funeral was no time to think of such things.
As usual, I started everyone out with the Lord's Prayer. After that we all told stories about Berry, remembering and cherishing his life. His sisters didn't say much; they weren't big talkers. I got the feeling, though, that they were waiting until they went home to let all of their emotions loose. I could understand that.
After the ceremony ended everyone except Edilio and I went home. It was Edilio's job to bury the kid, and I volunteered to help him. I couldn't bear to go home to Sam. When I told him this, Edilio gave me a sad smile and nodded understandingly. It was nice to have someone around who knew I wasn't crazy.
"So," Edilio said, digging the hole, "how've you been holding up?" I sighed and leaned against a tree; unbelievably it was the same tree that Sam and I had shared our first kiss near. I tried not to think about this.
"Okay, I guess," I mumbled. I closed my eyes and, after a moment, heard the sound of Edilio's feet as he made his way over to me. He sat on the ground next to me, and I opened my eyes.
"Astrid…it's gonna be okay, you know? Sam'll make it. He's a strong kid. He'll pull through…" I tried hard not to listen to Edilio's empty words. I knew he was only trying to cheer me up, but everything he said only caused me pain. Soon warm tears were running down my cheeks.
"And if he doesn't?" I asked. "If he just stays crazy? What if he never gets better…what if I'm stuck with him the way he is…?" I started crying so hard I couldn't speak. There were no words.
Edilio put his arms around me. I cried into his comforting chest as he murmured things into my hair in Spanish. I loved the sound of the foreign language; it was music to my ears.
When all was said and done, Edilio was one of the only people I trusted. With Sam on the brink of insanity, there weren't very many people left that I could trust.
Lana was nowhere to be found. She was spending all of her free time with Dahra for some unknown reason; one that really pissed off Elwood. Brianna and Computer Jack were off in their own little world; Dekka and Quinn were busy mooning over Brianna; Taylor was busy mooning over Dekka; most of the normal humans and freaks were at odds with each other. Neither were speaking to me; they were deathly afraid and didn't know what side I'd choose if it came to a war. Truthfully, neither did I. I knew I was a two bar. I knew I had the power…I just didn't use it very often, so I felt most of the time like a norm.
The only ones left that I trusted were Mary, Albert, John, and Edilio. They'd stuck by me through it all and I would never willingly give them up. They were my life lines; my sanity.
That being thought, I leaned into Edilio's soft shoulder and wept. Soon I would have to go home, and that scared me most of all.
February 14th
Diana
I couldn't handle Coates one second longer. Every time I turned down a hall or went for a walk I expected Drake to pop out from behind a bush and kill me. I wasn't usually this paranoid, but I was on edge and nervous now that I knew where Caine's true alliance fell.
So, I decided to take a drive.
I'm not the world's best driver; I've only done it a handful of times. But I was desperate. I needed to get away. I needed time to think things over. I knew I'd never get any peace at Coates, so a drive it was.
I packed a backpack with a bottle of water, my ration of fruit for the day, and some sunscreen. It could get unbearably hot in the dessert, and I didn't want to become coyote lunch.
I drove for what seemed like hours, watching the dessert fly past me. I put on some music and hummed tunelessly to whatever was playing, my mind wandering. Soon I decided to stop, and saw the beach in front of me, inviting and playful.
I hesitated. I knew I should turn around, go back to where it was safe. The beach was technically on Townie territory, and if any of them found me here they'd burn me at the stake. I should turn around. I should leave…
But temptation won out. The water looked so cool and refreshing; I hadn't been swimming in months, not since the FAYZ began. My body ached to bathe itself in that wonderful water, and I couldn't refuse it.
I got out of the car and set my stuff in the sand. I lathered on some sun block before stripping down to my bra and underwear. I placed my clothes in a neat little pile, doing a last sweep of the beach to make sure no one was around. Once again, the beach proved to be empty. Without giving my crazy plan any more thought I ran straight for the water and dove in.
I submerged myself in the cool water, kicking my legs to propel myself forward. It was soothing and wonderful, and I felt cleaner than I had in weeks. I surfaced, giggling to myself. I'd forgotten how much fun this was! I'd forgotten what it was like to have fun… to not have to worry…to relax, and play like a normal kid…
September 18th
Flashback—Diana
The first field trip of the year, and we were going to the beach. I stared out of the bus window aimlessly, ignoring the noise of the kids surrounding me. The teachers were trying (and failing) to control their students. I found this comical, and would occasionally flash a smile when a teacher yelled at one of my fellow freshman for misbehaving; an enjoyable sight, one I took enormous pleasure in watching daily. Idiots getting what was coming to them always cheered me up.
When we arrived at the beach, everyone rushed out of the buss, ignoring the teacher's requests to form a single file line and wait for them. I ignored their pleas; what kind of kids did they think they were dealing with?
As the rest of my classmates headed straight for the water, I opted to stretch out on the sand and sun bathe. In hindsight, that probably wasn't my smartest idea, considering the amount of attention I get when I disrobe, but I couldn't pass up such a wonderful opportunity to work on my tan.
Just when I'd gotten settled, let the sun's rays bathe me in warm light, a kid from my class, Bailey, nudged me with his toe. I opened my eyes and lifted up my sunglasses to glare at the kid who'd interrupted my tanning time.
"What?" I asked, shooting the kid my trademark glare. He was leering at me, his eyes roaming over my body greedily. I was slightly self-conscious but tried not to show it.
"Lookin' good Di. You're lookin' real good today." A shiver went up my spine.
"Yeah, well, take a picture, it'll last longer." I was about to brush him off and get back to my sun bathing, when he grabbed my wrist.
"Hey!" he said. "I'm talkin' to you! You hear that, bitch? I'm talkin' to you." I tensed and was just about to scream when the pressure on my wrist disappeared.
"Get your hands off her," a cold voice said. I gazed upward, trying not to stare directly into the sun, only to meet the eyes of one of the most dangerous boys in school who was currently holding Bailey by the neck; Caine Soren.
"Hey, man, lemme go! I was just playin' around with her, ya know?" Caine's eyes narrowed.
"Well, the next time you decide to 'play around with her,' you and I are going to have a serious little chat. Got it?" Bailey nodded.
Caine released his captive who scurried down the beach, whimpering. I sneered in his direction until Caine said,
"You alright?" I glanced up at him.
"I'm fine," I said, too proud to admit to any hurt. "By the way, my name's Diana." Caine grinned.
"Yeah, I know. I'm Caine." He held out his hand.
"Yeah, I know." I shook it.
And that was the first time I noticed Caine Soren.
Present—
Diana
I pulled myself from my memories. I was floating in the water, shivering. I decided that my trip down memory-lane had lasted long enough.
I dragged myself from the sea, and plopped down in the sand, next to my clothes. I waited to dry off before putting my jeans and top back on, and stared out at the surf.
How had so much happened so quickly? How could everything have changed in just six short months?
Tears welled up in my eyes. Against my protests they made their way down my cheeks.
For the first time in years I, Diana Landris, wept.
Ten minutes later—
Astrid
I had to get away from it all. From Sam, the FAYZ, and my life. So I left Little Pete and an I.O.U. with Edilio, promising to be back from the beach by four. I took a car and drove down the abandoned roads, the wind in my hair. I smiled to myself and stuck my hand out of the car window like I used to do when I was younger. I caught a leaf in my grasp and held it for a moment before letting go.
When I arrived at the beach, the first thing I noticed was that I wasn't alone. There was another car parked by the side of the road, and a pair of footprints leading down to the surf. Figuring it was just another Townie out for a swim I parked next to the car and got out, my backpack slung securely over my shoulder.
My first clue that something was wrong was the sobbing. It was loud and painful, the kind that makes you stop in your tracks and plays with your heartstrings. I froze and headed for the sound of the weeping.
When I found the weeping's source, I saw none other than Diana Landris sitting in the sand. She was crying, pouring a river's worth of tears into the sand. I'd never seen her so upset. In fact, I'd never seen any emotion other than sarcasm on her face. This was certainly a change from the Diana of three weeks ago, when invading Perdido Beach.
Instead of raising the alarm or screaming in terror, I quietly made my way over to where Diana was sitting. When she heard me approach she didn't run or lash out; she just watched me carefully, like a caged animal might watch its human handler.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice rough and cracking.
"I…" I whispered, coming closer. "I want to know why you're crying." Diana froze; her dark eyes watched me approach. I couldn't fathom the reason for her fear; I was about as dangerous as a butterfly. Still, I made my motions slow and calming, careful not to upset her further. I'd seen what a furious Diana could do.
"Is it Caine?" I asked. Diana's lower lip trembled despite her obvious struggle to keep it still.
"None of your business," she hissed. I nodded to myself.
"It is Caine," I said confidently. She was having boy troubles. I could relate.
But Diana just shook her head, her dark eyes filling with tears again.
"Do you think I'd waste my time crying over him? Do you really think that I'd drive all the way out to the beach, spend hours in enemy territory, just to cry over some stupid boy?!"
I studied her carefully as Diana finished her rant. A sad smile crossed my face.
"Yes," I whispered, "I do. I think you're just as human as the rest of us." Diana looked as though she had been slapped. "Do you want to know why I'm so sure?" I asked, not really looking at Diana any more, too absorbed in my own thoughts and feelings. "It's because I came out here to do the exact same thing."
Without warning I burst into tears. I felt like the whole world was pressed upon my shoulders, and the weight was crushing me. I sobbed into my hands, not caring if Diana saw, not caring what she thought of the Great Astrid, Astrid the Genius, weeping because her life was falling apart. I didn't care.
At least, I didn't until I felt Diana's arms encircle me. Until I felt her hug me.
Diana
I don't know why I did it. She was there, so sad, so alone, and it broke my heart. Not many things move me to tears, but the sight of Astrid crying did. She was always so strong and confident. Now look at her. She had been reduced to a girl crying over a boy.
We both had.
So, as I put my arms around Astrid and buried my head in her shoulder, I swore that one day, soon, I would kill Sam Temple.
Astrid
It felt like hours before we finally stopped crying, but it was probably only a few minutes.
Embarrassed with my sudden outburst I pulled away from Diana, trying to regain my composure. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, her trying to do the same thing.
"Thanks," I mumbled after a moment, unable to bear the silence any longer. Diana turned to face me.
"For what?" she asked. I blushed.
"For…you know…" I said, at a loss for words.
"Oh," Diana said. We were silent again.
"I should get going," Diana said. She stood, and it was only then that I realized that she was only dressed in her underwear. Diana must have realized this, too, because she blushed and hurriedly put on her clothes. I turned respectfully away.
"Um, bye, I guess." She picked up her belongings and began to walk away.
I could have just left it there. Could have left it on the beach, lying in the surf, unseen, never to be touched again. We could have gone back to being enemies, to hating each other. We could have let this go.
Well, maybe she could have. I couldn't.
For whatever reason, I called out, "Hey!" Diana stopped in her tracks. "If you, uh, ever want to talk, I'll be here, you know?" Diana didn't respond. She just walked back to her car and drove away.
February 15th
Diana
I was up all night, thinking about Astrid. About what she offered.
I couldn't get it out of my head. I felt like a rabbit, and Astrid was the carrot dangling before my nose. The promise of a friend; someone to confide in and to share with. Someone who would understand me, what I was going through.
I've never had a friend like that before.
That thought was so tempting, so unbelievably good, that I went to the beach the next day to see if she was there.
I thought I might cry again soon, and I didn't want to be alone.
I was done with being alone.
February 15th
Astrid
I don't know why I went to the beach again the next day. The chances of Diana showing up again were slim to none, but I couldn't stand the thought of staying at home a minute more. I left L. P. with Edilio again. I was seriously building up on those I.O.U.s.
I'd promised to only be gone for a couple hours. There were cantaloupes to be picked, and Albert needed all the help he could get.
Just a quick walk down the beach, I told myself. That's it.
Of course, that quick walk turned into a quick run when I saw Diana standing in the surf.
Diana
"Diana!" I turned when I heard Astrid call out to me. She was running, the wind pulling her long, blond hair behind her. Her face was flushed, and she was out of breath.
For the first time in weeks, I smiled.
For the first time in weeks, I felt happy.
February 19th
Diana
It's been a few days since I started hanging out with Astrid. Every day I take a car and drive out to the beach, and she'll be there, waiting for me. We take turns bringing lunch and entertainment; one day I brought apples and coconut milk while Astrid brought Shakespearean sonnets for us to read aloud to each other. Not usually my idea of a good time, but Astrid made the poems interesting by reading with a deep, rich voice and explaining anything I didn't understand. It was almost like I was back at school again, only, this time, school was held outside, and the teacher was my best friend. Astrid could make anything sound exotic and interesting, and she always brightens my day.
Take, for example, today's conversation.
Earlier—on the beach
I was lying on my beach towel, sunning myself, when Astrid spoke. We had been silent for a short period of time, and I was taking this as my chance to perfect my tan. I was becoming darker by the day and loving it.
"Hey, Di?" she asked, staring out at the ocean. I glanced up at her, slightly annoyed that she had called me by my mother's old pet name.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Do you realize that the first time we met—I mean, really met—it was Valentine's Day?" I frowned, not seeing her point.
"No, I didn't, actually." She smiled.
"It's just…not ironic, really, but interesting. On Valentine's Day you're supposed to find your true love. Instead I found you." My frown grew deeper.
"So?" I asked, letting anger seep into my voice. "What're you implying?" I was hurt by her words; she made me feel so small.
"Nothing. It's just interesting that, instead of finding my so-called soul mate, I found my best friend." I blinked at her, my lower lip dropping. I had never been called a best friend before.
"Yeah, interesting," I said, trying to cover up the immense feeling of joy in my chest. I couldn't recall having ever been so happy.
February 21st
Astrid
Edilio wanted to know why I was spending so much time at the beach. Every time I dropped off Pete, he would say, "C'mon, Astrid, tell me! Who're you meeting?" I'd smile and shake my head, and Edilio would get a sour look on his face.
So we turned it into a game. Every time we saw each other Edilio would sprout off another name, trying to guess who my mystery caller was. Each time I'd shake my head and smile, knowing he'd never even come close to the truth. Not really, anyway.
"I give up!" he proclaimed one afternoon. "The only name I haven't said is Caine Soren for Christ's sake!" I stiffened for a moment as Edilio unknowingly came one step closer to discovering my friendship. But I managed to brush it off as a joke.
Just barely.
February 26th
Diana
I met Astrid at the beach again. We both vented about our boy troubles, as per usual, and then read for a bit, and took a swim. After drying off we made plans to meet again tomorrow, and I headed back to Coates.
I parked the car in the vacant lot. I switched the ignition off and grabbed my bags, opened the door. I stumbled out onto the gravel and was about to head to my room when a male voice called out, "Hey! Diana!" I stopped in my tracks.
"Yeah?" I asked, trying to sound confident and nonchalant. I think I failed.
"Where've you been all day?" I turned to look Panda right in the eye.
"None of your business." Panda scowled.
"Yeah, well, it's sure as hell Caine's business, and he wants to know. So I'm asking: where've you been all day?" My heart hammered in my chest, but I tried not to let my fear show.
"If Caine wants to know, he can come and ask me himself." Without another word I turned and strode away, determined not to let my fear show until I was safe in my room.
March 2nd
Astrid
I've been on edge lately, and Diana is starting to notice. She's caught me staring out into space, a sad expression on my face. She's seen me fiddling with the hem of my shirt, not always responding when she asks me something. She's knows something's wrong. She's not stupid.
But she hasn't guessed what it is yet.
It's only a matter of time.
March 4th
Diana
Astrid's been twitchy lately. She seems nervous and unfocused, which is very unlike her. Something's wrong.
At first I thought it was Sam. But he hasn't had any recent break downs…
I thought it might be me. For a horrible moment, I thought I was loosing the best friend I'd ever had.
But I don't think this is so. It's something else….something deeper. I just wish she'd tell me what.
March 6th
Astrid
The day I've been dreading has finally arrived; my fifteenth birthday.
I sat at the dining room table, staring at my hands, trying not to think. I had the biggest decision of my life to make today.
Not that it was really a decision. I knew I would end up staying. Almost all of us did, these days. After all, I had Pete to look after. There was no way I'd abandon him.
Suddenly, Sam stumbled into the kitchen. He was wearing a baggy shirt and a pair of boxers. His floppy brown hair hung over his face, obscuring my view. My heart ached at the sight of him. Right here, right now, he seemed so normal. So sane. I could almost pretend that everything was alright; that Sam was coming downstairs to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, like he used to. Then he would smile and ask if he wanted me to have him make breakfast today. I would say, Yes, please, that sounds great, and he would see what he could make out of some cantaloupes and oranges. We would joke around and eat and then spend the day together, maybe helping kids or picking food, or just hanging out, enjoying each other's company. Quinn or Edilio or Mary would come over to hang out with us and talk; we would have fun and relax. I would have fun and relax.
Lost in my fantasy for a moment I called out, "Sam?"
The moment he turned to face me, I knew something was wrong. His eyes had a crazed look to them, darting about the room, as if he expected someone to jump out from behind the wall. I gulped, hoping it wouldn't be so bad today.
"How're you feeling, Sam?" I asked, taking a step closer.
"Don't touch me!" he yelled. I flinched at his sudden burst of emotion. "Just stay away!"
"Sam! Sam, stop it," I cried. I put out my hands soothingly, reaching for him. Sam panicked and raised his arms. I froze, staring at his hands as they began to glow.
"Sam, stop. Just calm down, okay?" I was about to walk over to him, to reassure him that everything was alright, when Little Pete walked into the room. He was rubbing his eyes, but when he saw me they came into focus. I thought this was odd.
"Munchy, munchy?" he asked. Sam's head jerked toward the sound of Pete's voice, and I for once wished that he hadn't spoken. Sam's hands started shaking, and before I could say anything to calm him, he'd raised his arms to Pete.
"No!" I screamed, but it was too late. Green light shot out of Sam and raced toward Pete. Thankfully Petey chose that moment to pop out of existence and reappear on the kitchen counter. He picked up his Game boy and began to play with it as I nearly collapsed with relief.
Sam whirled around, jumping when he saw Pete sitting on the kitchen counter. Before he could try and shoot at my brother again, I grabbed his hands in my own.
"That's enough," I growled. I tried to shove his hands down, but Sam retaliated and swiped his fist past my cheek. The burning feeling was instantaneous, and I yelped. I dropped Sam's arms and brought my hands to my cheek. It felt like flames were devouring my skin, and tears trickled down my face. Sam took a step back, shaking his head, before running down the hall and into his room.
March 6th
Diana
I waited for Astrid at the beach. It was my turn to bring the entertainment, so I'd dug out an old copy of The Dogs of Babel for Astrid to read. I thought she might enjoy it.
I sat in the sand and was running my fingers through my hair when I heard the sound of an approaching car. I stiffened momentarily and then shook off my fear. It's just Astrid, I told myself.
Sure enough, it was Astrid who appeared moments later. I waved at her and stared setting out our towels.
"What's up, Astrid?" I asked, my back to her as I set up the plates and silverware.
"Um…Diana, I…" I heard Astrid break off, crying. I spun to face her, my eyes landing on the burn mark on her cheek. Sam, I thought as I made my way to her.
"What'd he do to you?" I asked, my voice hard. Astrid put her arms around me.
"He tried to hurt Little Pete," she sobbed. "He burned my cheek by accident." As awkward as our hug was, I still felt a surge of anger rise up in me at the thought of Sam hurting Astrid. My eyes narrowed, and I tightened my grip on her.
"But, Di, that's not why I'm crying." She pulled away.
"Then…what is it?" I asked. Astrid wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks.
"Diana…it's my birthday." I froze. Suddenly everything made sense. The silences, the tears, the nervousness…I understood everything now.
"Well," I said, "are you leaving?" Astrid shook her head.
"No, of course not. I can't leave Pete." I nodded, thankful that she was staying behind. I knew that if she left, I'd surly go insane by myself in Coates.
"Good," I said.
"Um, Diana? When's your birthday?" I blinked and sat down in the sand, patting the ground next to me so Astrid would sit. She did.
"It already passed," I said. "It was in early February, before we started hanging out." Astrid nodded.
"That's why you were so upset," she murmured, analyzing me as per usual. "You were regretting your choice to stay." I shrugged her comment off, trying not the think about the reasons I wanted to leave…the people I wanted to leave.
"So, do you have the food?" I asked, changing the subject. Astrid gave me small smile before nodded and taking some cantaloupe slices and some cooked fish from her backpack. "Excellent," I said, digging in.
We spent the next couple of hours talking and laughing. We ate and read passages from the book, (Astrid found the book enjoyable. She said she'd read the rest when she had time.) and swam, trying to get our minds off of things. That is, until about three o clock.
Astrid glanced down at her watch, her face filled with fear. "Diana," she whispered. "It's time." I took her hand, something I hardly ever did, and sat her down. Astrid was trembling, and trying desperately not to show it.
"It's okay," I said, trying to reassure her. "You'll be okay." Astrid nodded, closing her eyes.
For a moment she was still, and I knew it was happening. Even though she couldn't feel it I tightened my grip on her arm, trying to anchor her to this world.
After a minute had passed, Astrid opened her eyes, a smile on her face. I knew it was over.
"I told the monster no," she whispered, choking up with tears again. I reached over and hugged her, running my fingers through her hair. She squeezed me tightly, and whispered, "Thank you." I pulled back.
"For what?" I asked. Astrid shrugged.
"For staying with me, I guess. For being my friend. Believe it or not, I never pictured myself going to Diana Landris for help." I grinned.
"I could say the same thing about you, Genus-Girl." Astrid giggled, which I found extremely odd. Neither of us usually giggled. Not the strong, bad-girl Diana or the smart, know-it-all Astrid. I found this to be so funny that I started giggling, too.
Soon we were laughing and holding each other, tears running down our cheeks. I buried my face in Astrid's hair, enjoying the scent of cantaloupes and coconuts and seemed to radiate from her very being. I wasn't sure if this was from some kind of special shampoo, or if it was from picking the fruits all day long most days that made her smell that way, but I loved it.
We pulled away from each other, slightly embarrassed.
"I should probably get home to Little Pete," Astrid said. Neither of us moved.
"Goodbye, then," I said. We still didn't move.
And then I did the strangest thing. I leaned over and kissed her.
For a horrible moment I thought that, as soon as I pulled away, Astrid would run away. She'd run away and leave me completely alone. I expected her to yell or slap me, or even to curse at me.
However, I was pleasantly surprised to find, once I pulled away, that Astrid was smiling, bright as the sun.
I knew from then out that things were going to just get better.
March 15th
Astrid
I don't know how to describe the differences between being with Sam and Diana. Well, I suppose an obvious one is that Sam was a boy and Diana is a girl. But, other than that, no difference. Diana and I joke around like Sam and I used to. We laugh, we hang out, we read, ect. The only real difference is the lack of tension. When I was with Sam there was always this feeling that the world was going to end at any moment—that we should act now, while we could. Like we wouldn't get a chance later.
With Di, things are relaxed. We take it slow, and we take our time. We don't plot or plan—we just hang out, like normal teenagers. It's an easy, fun relationship, and one I wouldn't give up for the world.
March 17th
Diana
I came back from one of my beach outings to find Caine standing in the hallway, leaning against the door to my room. For a moment, I froze. Did he suspect anything? I knew that if he did he'd kill me. No questions asked. Still, I forced myself to show no fear as I approached.
"Caine, what are you doing here?" I asked bluntly.
"Waiting for you to get back," he answered, standing up. His dark eyes bored into mine, and I felt myself shiver. Caine could be down right terrifying when he choose to be.
"Well, gee, isn't that sweet of you?" I said sarcastically. I tried to brush past him and inter my room, but Caine grabbed my arm, holding me stationary.
"Where have you been all day?" he whispered in my ear. I refused to look him in the eye.
"None of your business," I hissed. I shook him off and opened the door to my room. I quickly walked inside, slamming the door shut in his face before he could ask me any more questions.
March 20th
Astrid
I think that Sam's actually getting worse.
Today he broke out of the house, screaming something like, "It's coming! The Darkness is coming! Pack Leader will rise!" I didn't understand a word.
He ran for about five blocks, screaming nonsense and shooting of green jets of light, until Quinn (who was around for once) and Edilio where able to catch him. They stored him in the back of the fire truck, waiting for him to calm down. When he did we carried him to his room and left him there, thoroughly exhausted. I thanked them and Edilio gave me a sympathetic look, saying that if I ever need a place to stay, his house was always open. I declined his offer and sent the two of them on their way before collapsing into a chair.
Maybe I should have accepted Edilio's offer, after all.
March 22nd
Diana
Drake was acting weird today. Not that he's ever normal, but today he was even creepier than usual. He kept glancing my way, as if he were studying me, trying to figure me out. It sent shivers down my spine, and I was thankful when it came time to meet Astrid at the beach. With her jovial smile and golden laugh, I felt more at ease.
But not even Astrid could permanently erase the feeling of Drake's predator eyes on me.
March 24th
Astrid
People are starting to talk. They know what's been going on with Sam, and it scares them. Whenever I go out their eyes follow me, watching. They're wondering what has happened to their fearless leader. They're wondering whether or not the same thing will happen to one of them. I try ignoring them, but it does little to erase the feeling of eyes watching me. Following my every move.
It makes me wonder whether or not this will ever end. Whether or not Sam will recover.
Whether or not any of us will truly be okay ever again.
March 25th
Diana
I sense Caine's eyes on me. Whenever I leave my room I have the sensation that someone is watching me. I know, when I dare to glance behind, that it isn't Caine. I know he's got better things to do than follow me around.
Still. That doesn't mean I don't shiver when I enter a room and feel eyes on my back. It doesn't mean he doesn't have people who'd be willing to follow me.
So I keep my eyes open. I watch and I wait.
March 30th
Astrid
I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when it happened.
The screaming started at about ten p.m. I shot up in bed and raced out of my room, only pausing to pull a shirt and jeans over my body. I could hear Sam's screaming loud and clear from halfway across the house, and I wondered what horrific nightmare he was having now.
"Sam!" I yelled. I opened the door to his room to find him sprawled out across his bed. He was sweating and panting, his body convulsing in painful spasms. Don't get to close if he looses control, Diana had once told me. He might mistake you for one of his demons. You don't want to know what happened to the kid Caine attacked when he was out of it.
So I made my movements slow and calming, trying to determine what the matter was. Nothing was physically hurting Sam, so it was safe to assume that his pain was mental. Just another nightmare.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, collapsing in the chair at Sam's bedside. After two months of sickness I was ready to scream. I now knew how Diana must have felt, taking care of Caine. Hopeless. Useless. Frustrated, to name a few. I just wanted to die.
I fell asleep, somehow, listening to Sam's screams.
When I woke up sunlight was streaming through a nearby window. Sam was quiet and I was thankful for that. I stretched and crossed to the other side of the room, switching off the flashlight that had been serving as a lamp for me the previous night. With the power gone, we had to make do with substitutes.
Suddenly, Sam stirred. I froze. What would his delusional mind produce in my place this time?
But when he opened his eyes, I knew something was different. They were calmer, no longer wild and fearful. He wasn't raising his hands to fend me off. Instead his cool, calculating gaze followed me as I crossed the room to stand beside him.
"Sam?" I whispered, unable to believe what my eyes were telling me.
With a wry grin Sam said, "Hey, Astrid. Long time, no see."
April 2nd
Diana
When I heard the news that Sam had come back from the deep end, I almost couldn't believe it. Two brothers, one insanity. Somehow, they both survived.
Astrid seems to have mixed feelings about Sam's return to the land of the living. I know what that's like: to be caught up in memories of the past and the realities of the present. She's struggling, having an eternal battle. I can practically feel it.
Sometimes, I wonder, though. Who will she choose? Me or Sam?
April 4th
Astrid
When Sam came back from the brink of insanity, I didn't know what to feel. At first, there was joy. He was back. He was Sam again. My boyfriend. Our leader.
But things had changed. For one thing, there was Diana, my…well, I want to say girlfriend, but I don't actually know. It's hard to tell with Diana, sometimes. There are days when she'll gaze at me with more love in her eyes than I ever thought possible. She'll laugh and smile, and we'll be carefree teenagers together. On those days she'll let me kiss her or hold her; nothing major, but it's still human contact, one way or another. Those days don't happen as often as I'd like. I think it's because Diana is so used to being closed off from people that she doesn't know how to be open with them.
But I can tell that she's trying, so I don't pressure her.
And then there are a few other things that have changed.
Sam is deferent. He's harder, colder somehow. He has this look in his eye…this hungry, predatory look…it scares me. I mentioned the look to Diana and her eyes narrowed, her features grim.
"Just like Caine," she muttered. "The insanity changes them. I don't know what the Darkness does, but it changes them from the inside out. They're never the same again, Astrid. Sam will never be the same again."
I didn't want to believe her, but the proof was overwhelming. The way Sam looks at me behind my back; the way he speaks to Edilio and Quinn; even the way he moves.
He's been changed.
It makes me think I've brought him back from the brink of madness only to watch him die again.
April 6th
Diana
When Caine found out that Sam was back, to say he was furious would have been an understatement. His eyes bugged out of his head and his hands started twitching as he stuttered, "What?"
Bug, who'd been in Perdido Beach when the news of Sam's return had spread, started trembling. Caine looked ready to kill.
"I-it's true. He's back, man. Sam's back."
It was actually kind of fun to watch Caine throw Bug into a wall.
April 7th
Astrid
"No…no, Darkness….no…," I heard Sam moaning in his sleep. He was having another nightmare. I crept out of my room and down the hall. I pressed my ear against the door to Sam's bedroom.
Yes, I admit it; I was spying. It was wrong, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know what was going on with Sam. The closest we ever got to a conversation these days was when he asked me to pass the flashlight in the halls. So, eavesdropping it was.
"Hungry," he gasped. "Hungry in the dark." The words were eerily familiar, and it took me a moment to place where I had heard them before. Then it came to me; Diana had once said that 'Hungry in the Dark' was the only phrase that Caine had said during his sickness. I hadn't heard Sam say it until now, but it still creeped me out.
"No," he whispered. "I won't. Won't feed…" he let out a low moan. "No, Darkness, no. Tell Pack Leader no. Tell Pack Leader I said no." I stiffened. Diana had never mentioned Caine saying anything about Pack Leader in his dreams.
"When?" he asked. "No…no, Darkness, no….Soon, too soon…yes, Darkness, yes. Tell Pack Leader yes. I will. I will feed. Just…stop…Darkness…no…" I bit my lip. "Yes, I will. Get Pack Leader. I will get food. No more hungry…no more hungry in the Dark."
There was a scuffling noise from inside Sam's room. I quickly ducked back inside my own room, just barely shutting the door behind me before Sam came out into the hall. I leapt into bed, snuggling deep under my covers, trying to control my breathing.
I stopped hyperventilating when I heard the sound of Sam's door close.
And then I started panicking.
Because I realized that during his conversation with the Darkness, Sam hadn't been asleep.
April 10th
Diana
Astrid has been all freaked out recently, and I can't blame her. Sam has officially made a deal with the Darkness, just as Caine did. He's promised to feed it. We know this can't end well.
I'm not very good at comforting people, but I tried making an exception for Astrid. She was freaking out about Sam's conversation with the Darkness, totally in hysterics. I ordered her to calm down, told her that we'd work on this problem together, like a team.
But, the thing is, I've got my own problems.
Ever since Sam's return, Caine's gone even nuttier than usual. His plotting and planning is going on 24/7 now; I don't even think he sleeps. He spends every waking moment with either Drake, or Bug, or one of his other soldiers. He's obsessed.
I know he's planning on attacking the Townies again. I know it won't end any better than last time.
Could it end worse? I wonder about that. Now that both Caine and Sam have made alliances with the Darkness and Pack Leader, I wonder what side they'll choose. What destruction they'll cause.
I know one thing for sure. The FAYZ can't handle another war. It will destroy us all.
But who is going to stop the two most powerful kids around?
April 18th
Astrid
Oh, god. It's getting worse.
Sam talks to the Darkness almost every night now. I can hear him through the thin walls at night…I wonder if he knows I can hear…I wonder if he cares.
It's driving me crazy. I can't think, can't sleep. I feel like a piece of my soul is dying every time I hear the phrase 'Hungry in the Dark,' or the name 'Pack Leader'. But they're all I ever hear now, whether it's in reality or in my head.
I send Petey over to Edilio's and Mary's now more than ever. Heck, I've even sent him over to Albert's a few times. They all know that something's wrong with Sam, otherwise they wouldn't keep taking him in. They've got problems of their own, and I hate to burden them…but what if, when Sam's talking to the Darkness, Petey gets to close…Sam might…
I shuddered. I can't think this way.
I can't live this way.
April 20th
Diana
The plans have been finalized; Caine and Drake are going to invade Perdido Beach in exactly one month.
I didn't know how to tell Astrid this. I wondered whether warning the Townies was a good idea or not; they might just decide to invade Coates on their own. And that can't happen. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that no good results from bloodshed.
Look at Drake.
I met Astrid at the beach. She was looking worse for wear; her eyes had black rings around them, her hair was matted, her clothes rumpled. A wave of anger directed at Sam passed through me, but I quelled it to smile at Astrid. She gave me a weak grin in return and sat down on one of my pre-set towels.
"Hey," she said, kissing my cheek.
"Hey," I said, turning and kissing her full on the lips. I could tell Astrid was surprised at my sudden burst of affection, but she didn't complain as I kissed her. I let her return the favor for a minute or so before pulling away, deciding that enough was enough.
"So," I said, getting out some cooked rabbit, "what's been happening?" When I got no response I could tell I'd asked the wrong question. I turned to face Astrid, and was shocked to find that she was just barely holding back tears. Sure, we'd both cried before, but Astrid wasn't one to burst out into tears without something being seriously wrong.
"What happened?" I asked, caressing her cheek.
"It's Sam. He was talking to the Darkness last night…he said—said that he was going to feed it soon." I frowned.
"How soon?" I asked. Astrid gulped.
"Within the month," she whispered. "He's going to meet with Pack Leader tomorrow." I nodded, seemingly to myself.
"A month. We have a month," I muttered, taking my hand away from Astrid. She turned to stare at me, her blue eyes questioning.
"To do what?" She asked. I took a deep breath and said something I knew I would have to say, sooner or later. The unbearable truth.
"A month to get rid of Sam and Caine."
April 21st
Astrid
"No." Diana's voice was harsh and her eyes were set. I sighed and swerved off the road, about two and a half miles from Coates.
"You have to," I whispered. Diana shook her head fiercely. Her dark eyes flamed with hatred and her fists were clenched.
"Astrid, I care about you and I respect you, but there is no way in hell I'm going along with this crazy plan of yours." My jaw dropped and I turned off the ignition.
"May I remind you that this 'crazy plan' was originally your idea? You were the one who said we needed to get rid of them. Well, this is our chance," I said, my voice cracking slightly. Di's eyes softened.
"I know," she whispered. "Are you sure, though? Are you sure that we need him?" I considered the problem at hand for a moment before answering.
"Yes, I'm positive." Di sighed.
"Alright. If you're sure."
I leaned over and gave her a good-luck kiss that was meant to be swift and sweet, but soon turned into a make out session. I hadn't expected this from Diana; she must've really been nervous.
"Later," I whispered, pulling away. Diana grinned.
"Later." In a flash she was out of the car. I watched her back saunter toward Coates and chuckled to myself. Somehow, I knew Diana would convince our man to join the cause. For one, Diana was incredibly persuasive.
For another, he was already half way there.
Diana
It didn't take me long to find Drake.
He was prowling the halls of Coates, pistol in hand, searching for god-knows-what. I almost lost my nerve right then and there. This guy could kill me with a flick of the wrist and not even blink.
Somehow I gathered up the courage to walk over to Drake. He saw me coming and jerked up his head in my direction. His stormy-gray eyes narrowed, and his whip twitched. I gulped.
"Drake," I called out. I saw the whip twitch again.
"What do you want, Landris?" he growled. I was surprised he hadn't already lashed out at me; he must've been in a good mood.
"To talk to you," I answered. Instead of angry Drake just looked shocked.
"You want to talk to me," he repeated.
"Yes, I want to talk to you." Drake eyed me warily.
"About what?" he asked. I could tell he was considering the chance that Caine had sent me to ask him about something. Those chances weren't high these days, but I could tell that Drake didn't want to inadvertently piss off Caine by hurting me when it wasn't necessary.
"Caine." Drake smirked.
"Oh, that's what you wanted to talk to me about." I narrowed my eyes. "Well," he continued, "don't expect me to be your messenger boy. I'm not about to deliver Caine your rather interesting news about Astrid." I froze. It wasn't possible that he knew…and yet, staring into those cold, gray eyes, I knew that he did.
"How?" I asked. I didn't need to specify.
"Bug," he answered. I bit my lip. That made sense.
"Well, this was fun, but I've got to get going. See ya around, fag." Drake turned to leave and I panicked. I wasn't anywhere near finished with him. Without thinking I reached out and grabbed Drake's normal arm. He froze, and I saw the whip twitch around his waist. If I wasn't very careful about what I said next I had no doubt that I'd end up dead or wishing I was.
"Wait," I said quietly. "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Let go of me, Diana. I'm warning you, don't mess with me today."
"I'm not trying to mess with you," I hissed. "I just need to say one thing. If you're not interested in my offer, then you can go. I'm asking for thirty seconds, Merwin. Surely you can spare me that from your busy schedule." I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but I think I failed. Nevertheless he agreed.
"Alright. Thirty seconds. Make this worth my while." I took a deep breath.
"Astrid and I have been talking, and we both agree that Sam and Caine are getting too dangerous. Sam's made a deal with the Darkness and Caine's obsessed with war. They're going to end up killing us all. So…we've come up with a plan to remove the problems." Drake's normally emotionless face betrayed him by showing me shock. Drake was astonished that I wanted to get rid of Caine.
"You two are planning on getting rid of Caine? And Sam?" I could tell Drake was interested now. Astrid and I were planning on annihilating the two people Drake hated most. He was hooked.
"Yep," I said casually, studying my nails. "It's a pretty good plan, to. Only problem is we need someone with firepower…someone who knows how to shoot a gun. Know any people like that, Drake?" Merwin's whip was practically doing the tango on his waist; I could tell he was excited now.
"If you're serious Diana, count me in." I raised my eyebrows.
"You sure you can handle it? We need someone who can shoot a flea off a dog. That takes skill. Mad skills."
"Don't test me, Landris," he growled. "If I said I was in, then I'm in. You'll never get anyone better than me and you know it." I considered teasing him some more, but figured I'd used up my quota for the day.
"Alright. Our first meeting's going to be at the beach, tomorrow at ten a.m. Be there."
Without another word I turned and strode away, a smirk on my lips.
April 22nd
Astrid
I was beyond nervous. I was about to plot to kill the two most powerful kids in the FAYZ, and I was about to do it with Drake Merwin.
It just occurred to me I was about to plot to kill people with a renowned murderer and psychopath.
This caused me to go into a fit of hysterical laughter which lasted about ten full minutes. My palms were sweating and my heart was beating like a caged bird's wings. I was so afraid that I had to sit before I ended up fainting.
C'mon Astrid, pull it together, I told myself. If you show fear Drake will eat you alive. You heard what Diana said. Show no emotion. Give him nothing to play with. Just relax. Just breathe.
I breathed evenly in and out, concentrating on the flow of air in my lungs. Soon my fear passed, giving way to reason. I would be fine. There was nothing to fear. Diana wouldn't have brought him if she thought he was going to kill us.
All that reason, however, flew out the window when they pulled up. Diana stepped out of the SUV, her black hair billowing around her lovely face. Then Drake stepped out. I got a full and unrestricted view of his whip.
I'd seen it in battle before, but that was nothing compared to seeing it up close. It was grotesque. It seemed to be alive, twitching and wriggling on his waist. I couldn't stop staring. That was the whip that had nearly torn Sam apart. The whip that had been brought down upon Orc's bare chest. The whip that had been given as a gift from the Darkness…
"What're you staring at?" I jerked my head up. Drake was standing before me, his gray eyes locked on mine. I tried to form words, to speak, but they caught in my mouth, leaving me tongue tied. I could practically feel Drake's hand slapping my cheek.
"Astrid?" Di said. My eyes darted to her face and I tried to calm myself. Now was no time to loose control. Not when we were so close.
"Um, sorry, I, uh, spaced out for a second there." Drake snorted, muttering something about dumb blonds. I didn't mind. I was just relieved that he'd moved away from me.
"So," Diana said, "why don't we sit down?" I nodded gratefully while Drake just sauntered over to shore where three beach towels had been set up. He took the blue one while Diana and I sat on the red and green ones. It was all rather stiff and uncomfortable.
Surprisingly, Drake was the first to break the silence. "Look, as lovely as it is to watch two lesbos make out on the beach, I've got better things to do. So you two either tell me about this marvelous plan of yours now, or I'm outta here." Diana and I exchanged a silent glance.
"Our plan is rather simple," Diana said, taking the lead. "We know that Caine and Sam hate each other. We know they'd do just about anything to get rid of the other, and we can use this knowledge to our advantage." Diana nudged me. It was my turn to speak.
"We have to make our move before Sam fulfills his promise to the Darkness and Caine moves in on Perdido Beach. That gives us about two weeks.
"What I propose is quite simple; we have to convince Caine and Sam to challenge each other to a duel. A one-on-one fight to the death." Drake interrupted with a laugh.
"This is your great plan? Challenge them to a duel. You know, I'm starting to wonder why they call you Astrid the Genius." I felt Di stiffen beside me.
"Would you just shut up and listen?" she hissed. I fixed my eyes on the hem of the green blanket so I wouldn't have to face either of their glares.
"No, this is my real plan," I continued. "We get them to have their duel in valley beneath Coverage Hill." Drake frowned but didn't interrupt; we all knew why it was named Coverage Hill; if you didn't have insurance, you'd be crazy to try and go near it. "The hills there are tall and wide, but with plenty of crevasses. It would be impossible for Caine or Sam to search them all. My plan is this; we drive them crazy with plots of revenge. Those two get so worked up that they agree to meet for a one-on-one match at the bottom of Coverage Hill, winner takes all. We get a sharp-shooter and…" I trailed off, unable to finish.
"That'll never work," Drake said. "They'll never agree to it."
"Well, can you think of a better plan?" Diana asked. "We've got less than a month before those two idiots kill us all. We have to come up with something. So, if you've got a better plan then, by all means, share it with us." Drake's eyes narrowed, and my heart stuttered in my chest. I hoped Di knew what she was doing.
"Look, I don't have to put up with this. I only came down here because I thought you had a real plan to get rid of Caine. All you've got is a half-baked idea. It's insane! It'll never—"
"It will work." Drake stopped speaking. I don't know where I got the courage to silence Drake, but I was confident that my plan would succeed. I didn't like him interrupting.
"No, it won't," he growled. I shook my head.
"Drake, you're missing a crucial piece of information here."
"Then enlighten me."
"Drake…Caine and Sam aren't sane anymore. It's true; this plan would fail if tried on someone like you or me. We'd see through it. But Caine and Sam have changed. They don't think things through anymore. They base everything they do on serving the Darkness and revenge. They haven't got any thoughts or ideas past that. That's why my plan will work. It's based solely on the one thing they both understand now; destruction. They're so focused on killing each other, they won't notice when we betray them. With their minds so fully occupied, they won't realize it's a trap until it's too late."
I paused, giving Drake a chance to consider what I was saying. He sat there, not looking at either of us, staring off into space. I don't know where Drake goes when he stares out into space like that; I doubt I want to.
"Yeah," he said slowly. "You could be right. It might work." An evil smile crossed his face. "It might get rid of them." There was a silence.
"So, are you in?" Diana asked, blunt and to the point as usual.
"Oh, I'm in," Drake said. He rose, and we followed suit. "Just remember fags; this backfires, and you're on your own." I nodded, half expecting that.
"You know, we have names," Diana muttered. Drake flashed a rare grin.
"Your point?"
April 28th
Diana
This week was a blur of meetings between Astrid and Drake. I didn't trust Drake enough to leave him alone with Astrid, so I always went with. Not that it mattered if I went or not; Astrid and I both have passive powers. She soul-reads, and I power-read. Still, it makes her feel better when I come along, and I take comfort in her familiar presence.
Believe it or not, I'm actually nervous. This whole plan is sketchy, and it's making me twitch. If something were to go wrong…
No, you are not to think that way.
Still, I worry. And I know the others do, too.
Especially Astrid. Poor, poor, innocent Astrid.
April 30th
Astrid
The guilt is eating me alive. I know that's not Sam I see anymore. I know the boy who whispers to faces unseen in the middle of the night is not Sam. I know the boy who passes me in the halls every morning is not Sam. I know the boy whose fingers twitch every time he passes Little Petey is not Sam.
But he has Sam's face and eyes and hair, and every time I see him I remember my Sam, the Sam I used to love. The Sam with gentle hands. The Sam who would throw himself in front of a bullet for someone he loved. The Sam who would call me babe and kiss me softly on the lips every time he got the chance. I'm reminded of this Sam every day. Every time I see the copy.
But when I think about Sam, the thing I remember most is the way he shown in my soul-read. The way that comet lit up that black sky, it's superhuman light shinning brighter than the sun. I remember the way it glowed with goodness; the way the tips of the tail flared, the way the orange and yellow lights swirled and combined with each other in a spiraling dance, all of this screaming at me, "He's the one! He's the one that will save us!"
When I think about this I have to make some excuse to run from the room I am in room and weep.
Sam isn't our savior. He's our destroyer.
May 2nd
Diana
Another meeting with Drake came to a close. We'd made some real progress. We now had a location for Drake to crouch in, the perfect sniper spot. We circled it in red ink of the map; Drake gleefully, and Astrid with something close to despair. I decided to stay behind and speak to her a moment after Drake left.
"You're torn up inside," I said. Astrid didn't respond. She just stared out at the ocean.
"You still love him," I accused, surprised at how much that hurt. But Astrid shook her head.
"No, I love what he used to be." She didn't say anything more on the subject. Instead she came over and put her thin arms around my waist, her rose-colored lips kissing me gently.
I got the feeling she was trying to change the subject.
May 4th
Astrid
"Damn her!" Elwood muttered. His hand crashed down on the wooden desk before him, a sob caught in his throat. "Damn Dahra to hell!" I laid a hand on his shoulder.
"You don't really mean that," I whispered. He glared at me.
"Yeah, I do! She and Lana can go burn in hell! They can go burn together…" This time his sobs broke through, and soon he was crying on my shoulder. I rubbed his back soothingly as Edilio had done for me when I'd cried.
Doesn't this remind you of something? My conscious asked.
Shut up, I told it. I concentrated on holding Elwood.
May 5th
Diana
I glanced at the door to Caine's room. Inside were the sounds of giggling. He had a girl in there.
An unexpected wave of pain rushed through me. I hadn't expected him to bounce back so quickly…I shut this out of my mind. I shouldn't have cared. I was planning on killing him. Soon it wouldn't matter who was in his room. Maybe I could even make it my own.
I passed Drake in the hallway and, for the first time, we grinned at each other.
May 7th
Astrid
My worst fears were realized; Little Petey got too close to Sam.
He was playing with his Game Boy, wandering throughout the house. Sam was aggravated about something; he'd just come back from Quinn's and heard something he didn't want said. L. P. walked into Sam, and Sam lost it.
"You little freak," I heard Sam growl. That crazed look I now know so well came into his eyes, and he raised his hands.
"No!" I screamed. I dove and hit Petey in the back, knocking him over. His response was as I'd hoped; we teleported into my room. I heard a crash and a bang; the smell of smoke filled the air. I held Petey tight, praying that Sam wouldn't come up to my room. He didn't.
I think I can finally let go of him now. I've seen a monster, and he's not my Sam.
May 12th
Diana
"Come in." I glanced at Drake. He stood beside me, his eyes cold and unreadable, staring straight ahead. I gulped and tried to push my fear away as I opened the door to Caine's office.
"Ah, Drake…and Diana," he said, frowning when he saw me enter the room. His eyes widened when I stood next to Drake, unmoving.
"Caine," Drake said calmly, "we need to talk." Caine nodded warily and motioned for us to sit, his eyes never leaving me.
"What's up?" he asked, sitting. I glanced at Drake, silently begging him to start.
"We—Diana and I—have come up with a plan to help you take over Perdido Beach." Caine's eyes widened, though I wasn't sure what the reaction was aimed at. The mention of the plan, or Drake and I working together.
"Okay then," he said. Drake shot me a meaningful glance; it was my turn to speak.
"Drake and I believe there is a way to take over the Townies without a huge war," I said, building my courage up with each word. "We believe the way to take over smoothly is for you to have a direct confrontation with Sam. A one-on-one match. You'll win, and the Townies will finally understand how powerful you are." By this time I had braced myself to look into Caine's eyes. There was none of that old confidence that I remembered; this boy was but a shadow of what I had once loved. He was cold and calculating…oddly enough, he reminded me of Drake. "You take out Sam and no one will stop you." Caine's eyes narrowed.
"What? Do you think I can't handle the Perdido Beach kids myself? That I can't handle a war?" I snuck a glace at Drake. Caine was going into another one of his black moods, the kind that got kids killed.
"No," Drake said, placating him, "we just think this would be the easier option. We go in and out; you take out Sam, and my soldiers and I take out the Townies. A smooth operation." Caine nodded, and I was relieved to see his darkness disappear.
"And you think Sam will just agree to this little challenge?" he asked sarcastically. For a moment Drake flashed a rare grin.
"Oh, I'm positive he will."
Astrid
"A one-on-one match," I heard Bug say. I pressed my ear further into the wooden door frame, my body tense and my palms sweaty. "Winner takes all."
"Where?" Sam asked. I held my breath.
"Coverage Hill." There was a pause, and I almost believed that Sam wouldn't agree. That the sane, sensible part of him had to see the word 'trap' written all over Bug's message. But that side of Sam had apparently left him long ago.
"Are you sure Caine'll show?" he asked. My heart caught in my throat.
"Yeah, I'm sure." There was a rustling of chairs.
I quickly raced out of the hallway, running outside, where I could throw up without being seen.
May 15th
Diana
Our last meeting before the big match. Caine and Sam will fight in four days…and they will never return. We've made sure of that.
Drake, Astrid, and I were at the beach, celebrating. I brought coconut milk for the drinks and Astrid cooked us some fish and seagull eggs. They were delicious.
Even Drake was in a party mood. He smiled more than I'd ever seen, and he even laughed a couple times. I didn't even know he could laugh.
"Well, I guess we have to go," Drake said. We all stood. "See you on the nineteenth…Astrid." Astrid and I blinked; this was the first time he'd ever called her by her real name, and not 'Lesbo girl' or 'Genius Kid'. I could tell she was pleased.
"Yeah, see you Drake." She looked him right in the eye, my brave little soul-reader, and held out her hand. To my utter shock, Drake took it.
"Nice working with you," she said. Drake grinned.
"Yeah, I gotta admit, it's been fun." He turned to me. "Let's get going, Di. We don't want to be late for Dr. Crazy's final meeting." I nodded; I'd almost forgotten about Caine's last meeting.
"I'll meet you at the car." Drake glanced from me to Astrid, an evil gleam in his eye. I gave him a warning look, and he backed off, strutting over to the car, whip secure around his waist.
"Well," Astrid said after a beat, "this is it." I nodded.
"Yeah." I stared hard at her face. "Are you sure you're going to be okay? I could drop by tomorrow…" Astrid shook her head.
"No, it's too dangerous. We can't let Caine suspect anything." I nodded.
"Then…good-bye. For now, I guess." She smiled, her face lighting up.
"Yeah…good-bye Diana." She leaned over and kissed my mouth. It was gentle and perfect, the right kind of good-bye present. I gave her a small kiss back and then pulled away.
"See you," I whispered. And then I was off, trotting toward the car. I hopped inside next to Drake, who was snickering, having watched Astrid's good-bye. But I didn't care.
I waved at her and Astrid waved back. I watched her golden form shrink as we drove away, knowing the next we'd meet it would be at Perdido Beach, and it would be in havoc.
May 17th
Astrid
I'm beyond nervous. I'm practically jumping out of my skin. Every time someone knocks on my bedroom door or calls out of me on the street dread fills my heart and I think, Oh, god, this is it. But it never is. It's only ever my own paranoia kicking in.
Every time I see Sam, it hurts. I think, will I ever see him again? Is this it? It isn't, but I can't stop those thoughts from entering my mind. He is a monster. He betrayed me. He hurt Little Petey. He made my life a living hell.
And yet, I'm dreading the nineteenth.
May 19th
Diana
It's time.
Drake left an hour ago to set up in the valley. He took a few trusted soldiers with him, for back up. Not that I think he'll need any, but still…
This is the last time I will see Caine Soren alive.
I watch as he walks down the hill, Bug and Panda flanking his sides. His dark hair billowing in the breeze, his equally dark eyes cold and determined. A flash of the old Caine, a smiling, happy memory, pushes its way into my head. For a moment, I feel guilty. For a moment, I want to call out to him.
And then my memory of the old Caine vanishes and I am left with the monster that ruined me. I think of Astrid instead. I picture her golden face as Caine steps into the SUV to drive to his doom.
Screw you, Caine, I think before storming off and never looking back.
Astrid
It's begun to rain. Small, crystal droplets are pelting the windows, leaving long lines that look like tears. I touch the cold glass for a moment, looking out into the darkness. The storm is approaching.
I hear footsteps behind me. Without turning around, I know it is Sam. I memorized the sound of his footsteps long ago.
"Leaving?" I ask. I hear Sam grunt.
"Yep," he says. I hear the sound of snow boots being pulled on.
"Hell of a storm out there," Edilio says. He sits beside me, putting a friendly arm around my shoulders. I lean into his chest, taking comfort in his body heat and steady pulse.
"Is it?" Sam asks, as if in a trance. "I hadn't noticed." I feel my lip curl up in a sneer. Of course you didn't, I think to myself. You were too consumed with thoughts of revenge and hatred to notice.
"Yeah, man, it is. Are you sure you wanna do this?" I hear Sam stand.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he says icily. Edilio's arm tightens around protectively around me. I wonder what he will do when he finds out about Diana. I don't want to loose him as a friend.
"Whatever, amigo. It's your funeral." I hear Sam's footsteps as he walks toward the door. They pause and I turn to face him for the first time today.
His brunette hair has flopped in front of his green eyes. His shirt is untucked and there is a five o clock shadow on his face. He stares at me with fathomless eyes that seem to want to reach down into my soul. As if he wants my power; wants to see my eternal flame.
I stare back at him, just as emotionless. Once upon a time that would have frightened me. I would have glanced away or my eyes would have filled. Not any more. Too much has happened; I've seen him go crazy, I've worked with a psychopath, made Diana my lover, have plotted to kill. No longer can a single stare harm me. I am stronger. I am so much stronger.
"Astrid," he says slowly, as though he is relishing the taste of my name. There was a time when that would have made me swoon. "Astrid…don't get caught in the rain."
Those words surprise me so much that I cannot formulate a response. I don't have to. Sam walks out the door, letting it slam closed behind him. I sit, stunned, Edilio's arm around me, staring out into the rain.
Sam comes into view as he passes by the house. Edilio's other arm encircles my waist, and now he is holding me to his chest, his chin resting on the crown of my head. Together we watch Sam walking down the street, a lone vigilante, off to face his brother. Cane and Abel. Crazy and Crazier.
I watch Sam through the window until he is just a speck on the sidewalk corner. For a moment he pauses, as if considering running back to us. He glances behind him, and our eyes meet for the final time.
This is when I wonder if I've made the right choice.
There was a time when I loved Sam. He was my hero, my lover, my confident, my friend. We shared everything; we were happy.
And then the Darkness came. And Sam betrayed me.
So, when I meet his eyes, my regret is gone. I did what I had to do. I did what I did to protect those I love. Diana. Little Petey. Edilio. Mary. John. Albert.
Besides, I think as I close my eyes; it's not as if I'm the one in the wrong. Think on that, Sam. I may have plotted to kill you. I may have turned against you. But who is really the guilty one? Who is really the betrayer?
Who was really betrayed?
A/N: Yay! I finished it! *does happy dance* And, for those of you that may be wondering, the next set of real drabbles will be coming out next weekend; this drabble-oneshot-thingy is not only to satisfy my plot bunny, but to tide the fans over. I have a lot of updating to do on my Max Ride stories this the weekend, though a new drabble set may be posted later this week. Be sure to look out for Drake Drabbles! Coming soon!
Note: To all Gone fans looking for a good Computer Jack/Brianna oneshot, I'll be posting one this weekend. For you Rouge Apple! I swear it'll be up soon!