Well, hello there my little hobbits, here's the next installment of Orophin's Diary! Thank you for reading, and thanks to my Almighty Beta The One Called Demetra for making this presentable. R&R!!
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Dear Diary,
Tonight I plan to do the karaoke thing I was thinking about. I'm surprised so many people actually agreed to come. Let's see…We have me, Haldir, Poopie, Celeborn, Galadriel, Thranduil, Legolas, some miscellaneous elves, and Feragith, who will help me do my vocal warm-ups. I figured I would just go ahead and invite other random elves because every event that will influence the public opinion obviously needs to have the public as a witness so that word will spread quickly of my phenomenal opera.
I have the lingering suspicion that Elrond of Rivendell is pregnant. Don't freak out, I do indeed have reasons for this conclusion, as always. You see, Elrond is almost always mad, but Haldir and I think he's been angrier lately than usual. Sooo, his mood swings can only mean one thing-he is with child. I must immediately write him a letter asking about this.
Dear Elrond of Rivendell,
My oh my, you have been angry lately. Tell me, are you just unhappy with your position in life-or is it something else entirely? You are usually level headed and such, but after hearing that you ate a frog, I must ask-Are you perhaps pregnant?
There's no need to feel embarrassed or angry, it is a perfectly natural phenomena, and it isn't unheard of for half-elves to be peculiar. Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you peculiar-just what you are and everything you stand for.
With best regards to you and your unborn child,
Legolas of Mirkwood
I put Legolas as the sender because I want to get the point across, but I do not want my ass fried, thank you very much.
I found a bunch of mushrooms today, and saved them. They're green and have pretty red spots all over them. Mayhap I will cook them into a cake and give it to Celeborn. Of course, he has a strange fascination with eating food with a spoon whether it is required or not, so maybe I won't.
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Dear Diary,
The karaoke was amazing! First, Legolas sang, and it was quite unusual. He sang very quickly and with a strange accent. Upon seeing the dumbfounded looks on our faces, he identified this strange style of singing as something called "rap". Celeborn replied with the normal "What is this thing called Rap?" He really should learn not to repeat everything he hears, as that makes it extremely easy to be tricked. I would know, I used to be soooo easy to prank, and that was certainly not fun.
So after that, surprisingly, Haldir sang, but in my opinion, it left much to be desired when it comes to vocals. He completely ignored my protests, as I very much wanted to go right after Legolas, just to reinstate my desire to make him sound like an awful singer. Poopie didn't sing though, so he didn't have a chance to further ruin my idea.
When it was finally my turn to go, there were mixed reactions, each severe in a different way. I sang the song I wrote a few days ago, so it was no surprise to Feragith, but my opera inspired quite the envy in all onlookers. Legolas looked a little disturbed, his daddy frowned, Galadriel twitched, Haldir and Poopie laughed, and Celeborn cried, which was the best part of the whole night. Well, the best part was a mixture of my singing and Celeborn crying.
So after all of that, I suppose I need not take opera lessons anymore. Feragith will be quite sad at the loss, but we are friends now so he should understand. And it's not like we're breaking up or anything, so he won't cry over it. Of course, if that had been the case, I don't think I would've broken up with that piece of man-flesh in the first place.
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Dear Diary,
I came across a stray diary in the bathroom today, but I can't figure out who it belongs to. I know it's not mine, but it could belong to anyone else. And I do mean anyone. Here's a hilarious excerpt, so when(if) I find out who it belongs to it will make excellent blackmail material.
Dear Diary,
Celeborn was especially good looking today, but stupid Thranduil was obvious in how he was hanging all over him. Even Legolas noticed, and that's saying something.
I'm sure that's all that need be seen. I really do wonder who has such a huge thing for Celeborn. However, Legolas noticed and I didn't? I must have my eyes checked, and soon, too. The author of that diary has wonderful usage of language, quite like my own, and now I must keep a close eye out for anyone who has googly eyes over Celeborn. When you think about it, it's kind of ridiculous that they wrote about Celeborn and not me, unless the author is one of my brothers. Then I'm glad it's not me.
In other news, my fingernails are looking quite lovely today.