Well, here it is! For the first time in almost a year, I bring to you another chapter of Orophin's Diary!
Disclaimer:I do not own LOTR. Duh. Everyone knows who Tolkien is, silly!
Dear Diary
Today I was sneaking around the not-so-humble abode of Galadriel, and I saw what the anonymous diary was talking about! I was feasting on a stolen pie in the bushes when Thranduil and Celeborn walked by and it was so funny(and gross)! Celeborn was talking about starting a shrubbery collection, and Thranduil got up really close and started licking his hand! So Celeborn asks "Do you need something to clean your hands off? You'd better not touch any doorknobs until you do." And walks off!
In other, far more important news, I paid Feragith a visit today. His back was facing the door and as soon as I come in, he says "Sorry, I'm not doing lessons for a while. My last student was so terrible it just killed the passion." I had to run up and give him a hug, whilst cursing the elf who'd upset Feragith. He just looked at me all funny and gave me some lurvely candlesticks straight from his mantle before sending me out.
The Pervert Ghost was especially active last night. I told him to shut up, but heard a faint "Haldir, use the other ropes!" Huh. I think Haldir is being haunted pretty badly. Has the ghost gotten bored with my eyebrows?
Dear Diary
Wonderful news! Legolas and Thranduil are leaving! Something about spider mating season in Mirkwood having gone wrong. Butttt... A few of us Lorien Elves are going as well, to stop by Rivendell. I am determined to be one of those elves. On my life.
Poopie walked in on me writing in a history book this morning, and told me that defiling books is terrible. But then I showed him that I was replacing all of the cool people's names with 'Lord Hotpants', and the idiots with 'Legolas'. I said to him that I wanted this version to replace the one in Elrond's library, especially since that's the one all of the best lore masters go to. Poopie literally whooped with laughter, then told me I was stupid. I beg to differ. I deg to biffer.
Dear Diary
I have heard rumor and legend of a list. A list in Galadriel's bedroom that says the names of those going to Rivendell. I will have this list! So, a bit of preparation is in order so that this mission will be a success, because my luck, unlike my good looks, is unreliable. Haldir has agreed to be my cover. Well, he says he'll follow me and get me out of trouble if I'm caught.
I saw Legolas skipping down the road this morning. My eyes will never be the same. I saw things jiggling that should not be jiggling!