Disclaimer: I do not own the Mentalist.

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM WELCOMED! FEEDBACK APPRECIATED!

AN: I used a paragraph from Ebony10's "Rocking the Boat" without permission, but the credit is given to her. For the most part, her story or, at least the paragraph, is what inspired me to go on this journey.

She sighed as he was uncharacteristically silent (something that had been happening quite a bit in the last week or so), then continued. "In the end, I decided to give myself a chance for the whole thing. Maybe someday there will be that special someone and we'll have a family together. As a team. Not just me. I do want kids, but it just seems like I've always done everything alone. Raised my brothers. Went through college. Got a job as a cop. Recruited by the Bureau and working my way up."- Rocking the Boat, Ebony10

Jane was too damaged to love again.

Or at least that was what Lisbon had thought.

Then Kristina Frye came back into his life.

Truth be told, Lisbon would never admit her feelings for Jane aloud, but she would ponder them at length when she had time. Actually, she made time to think about Jane and if they had a possible future together. From the start, she concluded no and tried to brush any lingering feelings aside. In her mind, her feelings for Jane were superficial: he was charming and smooth and paid her the attention she willingly deprived herself of for years. It could never work. It just couldn't. The only thing he cared about was avenging his wife and child—nothing else matter. Over time, she began to see the legitimacy of her romantic feelings and she realized she was in trouble. As usual, she fell for the wrong man: the one who was unavailable in every way possible- the one who was doomed to fail. So, she never gave it a try.

But, if she were really being honest with herself, she would admit that she never gave Jane a chance because he never hinted any interest. Yes, he occasionally flirted with her, but he flirted with other women as well. It was nothing significant. He flirted and did things for her that she couldn't begin to understand, but she knew it didn't hold a romantic overtone.

She thought Kristina Frye wouldn't last because if she, Teresa Lisbon, wasn't good enough, then no one was.

Lisbon didn't think she was some constellation prize, but she thought she was a pretty good catch. Then again, Jane knew her and he knew she was damaged. Where was the mystery in that? Or appeal? He could read her like a book—one he wrote himself at that, which sometimes he forgot occasional details.

Kristina Frye was a new challenge and mystery that he definitely had a romantic interest in.

If Patrick Jane could find love again, then why couldn't she? Why was she holding herself back from potential relationships and happiness? Yes, her mother had gotten killed in a car accident and her father killed himself, which forced her to grow up at an earlier age, but that didn't mean she could be happy or, at least, try to be. In order to be a healthy, functioning adult she must deal with these things. She must deal with her emotions and the consequences of them. She must have better relationships with her family, friends, and…Jane.

It still hurt like hell to know he was with someone. It still hurt.

7 MONTHS LATER

"Fully," Shane whispered as he stroked his lover's back. Although Fully was his girlfriend, he called her his lover because girlfriend seemed too elementary to him. He laughed at the irony before whispering her name again.

"Hmm…" She was semi-conscious and had no intention of fully waking up anytime soon.

"I love you."

Shane ran his fingers through her long wavy brunette hair as she snored lightly on his chest. Funny, months ago she used to jump out of the bed after they had sex and sleep in another room. Now, no one could drag her away no matter how much they tried.

She told him to work with her—to wait for her. It was her first time dating a younger man, 14 years to be exact, and it had been a long time since she was in a real, healthy committed relationship if she had ever been in one to begin with. Shane saw her vulnerability and knew that Fully wasn't one to let her guard down. He knew that whatever it was between them was real and he wanted to see what was next. He had to.

A smile crossed his face as he thought about the previous hour's activities. Fully straddled his lap as he placed his hands on her waist and she lazily threw her arms around his neck. Her forehead was leaning against his as she moved up and down on his erect penis. Love and lust filled her emerald eyes while she alternate between moaning and crying out in passion. Wildly waving wavy hair moved according to the intensity of their passion.

Perspiration formed at her temples and her lips frantically met his before lighting fire to the rest of his body.

"I love you, too" She replied back. Even though she was sleeping when he said it, she knew him well enough to know what he would do and say. Fully was one to doze off and wake up on and off after sex, but he learned to know it was a good thing. "Now go to bed because your thoughts are keeping me up."

5 MONTHS LATER

Lisbon watched as Jane and Kristina interacted. She wondered if that was what a happy Jane looked like. He was no longer the tormented man he used to be, but Red John was still his obsession. It was obvious he was conflicted between avenging his wife and child's murder or moving on and creating a new life with Kristina.

If he gave up Red John, then what would be his reason for being at the CBI? Finding Red John was his only reason for living up until now. What if he chose Kristina? Would he leave the CBI or stay?

Although Lisbon had taken steps to forming something of a life, she knew a part of her would be crushed if Jane ever left. Despite herself, she loved him and, to some extent, she even needed him. Would she ever admit that aloud? Hell no. But, if she were going to be honest with anyone, she needed to be honest with herself first.

Jane and Kristina worked well together. She was surprised when Hightower hired her. For one, Kristina and Jane were dating and she gave Rigsby and Van Pelt the third degree for being together. The hypocrisy! How could she condone one relationship and not another? It almost made Lisbon want to go behind Hightower's back and approve the relationship-almost.

The case was an emotionally trying one, she just wanted to go home and sleep forever. She needed a vacation. In the past, she hated the idea of taking a break from work. Recently, the idea started to become more and more appealing and she had reason to take time off. In a couple of months, she would be forced to, so she might as well warm up to the idea, notion, and the reality of the situation. It reminded her that she needed to talk to Hightower.

Lisbon walked to Hightower's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Hightower said nonchalantly as she went over paperwork for the recent case. "Take a seat. Is there anything I can help you with, Agent Lisbon?"

Straight to business, as usual, Lisbon wasn't going to waste any time, so she cut to the chase, "I would like to request a two week vacation in about three weeks."

"Oh, really?" Hightower looked at Lisbon. "You are overdue for a much needed vacation. I was going to suggest one to you, especially considering the case you just got through handling."

"So, that's a yes," Lisbon thought Hightower agreed to give her vacation time, but she wasn't absolutely sure.

"It's a yes," Hightower smiled at the woman as she gathered the remains of the case file. "May I ask what brought on this desire for a vacation, especially with a specific time frame?"

The Senior Agent's cheeks blushed ever so slightly as she stared at her hands in lap momentarily before brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. She was hoping Hightower wouldn't ask, but she knew that the woman would.

2 1/2 WEEKS LATER

Lisbon pushed the door open as juggled her briefcase, takeout, and some extra items she had needed to pick up. To say her home was her sanctuary was an understatement. It was everything, and then some. She was looking forward to spending time away from work and with Coop. In all her adult years—even childhood—she never had a real vacation. Never. A grin appeared on her face as she thought about finally getting and wanting a break from work.

"Coop," Lisbon yelled as she sat the bags on the kitchen counter. Soon they would have to look for a bigger place. It was already too small for them; imagine when it expanded from two to three, three to four, and so on. "Coop, I bought Panda Express. I have Orange Chicken, Chow Mien, Spring Rolls, and if you don't come down here I will eat it all."

A chuckle escaped from her throat as she fixed their plates while her hand involuntarily went to her stomach.

"Coop, I know you are a kid at heart, but you are too old to be playing hide and go seek," Lisbon wrapped the plates, and then sat them in the oven. Coop's hide and seek was really get found and then freak. Lisbon couldn't help, but indulge in such behavior. She was having sex on a regular basis after constant months of celibacy and great sex at that. What woman in her right mind would turn that down? And to add to that, Coop was a generous lover: he tended to her needs and knew her body very well.

It wouldn't be hard to find Coop; he always hid in the same spot, their bed. Lisbon walked up the stairs, and then carefully opened their bedroom door. She collapsed before her heart could drop.