Disclaimer: You know the routine…

3 YEARS LATER

"I don't understand why we are taking on this case," Van Pelt said as she read through the file. "It is a pretty open and shut case."

"Look at who killed the victim," Jane said as stared at the ceiling while deep in thought.

"His wife, so what?" Van Pelt dismissed as she closed the folder. "We've dealt with cases like this before—why can't the local PD handle it?"

"Because the case gets a little more complicated than that," Cho supplied. "It involves Lisbon. Although she has left the CBI, we've been keeping tabs on her because of her connection to Red John."

"I don't understand; how does Lisbon tie into this," Rigsby asked as he pulled on his jacket.

"Lisbon is the killer. She admitted to the crime when she called the police," The team looked at Cho. "Kept saying something about she had to. The reason they haven't labeled her as crazy is that it looks like her husband, Carter Cooperman, was tied to Red John, which may explain Shane Cooperman's connection. Apparently, Carter and Lisbon had a standoff. There was a gun at the crime scene with Carter's fingerprints all over it, and then there was an unmarked van that was licensed to the victim with various knives, poisons, tool—you name it and it was there. We're guessing he was Red John's supplier."

"Did she say anything else besides that," Jane asked as they headed to the elevator,

"Afraid not."

Jane and Cho waited for Lisbon to be escorted into the interrogation room.

"Do you think she did it," Jane asked Cho as he paced the room.

"She admitted to it—are there any other types of confessions," Cho looked at his notepad as he tapped a pen against it.

"Well, actually there are, but let's not stray away from the question," Jane said as he leaned against the two-way glass. "You're upset at the fact that your former mentor is a killer. In your mind, it is one thing to kill on the job because then it is justifiable, but off duty and no longer a government agent?"

"What happened to not straying away from the question," Jane smiled sadly.

"For one, I believe Lisbon had her reasons for killing her husband that were every bit justifiable," Jane walked to the table and sat in the chair next to Cho. "On paper, she is a loose cannon, but in real life we know Lisbon better than that. You should know better than that and I know you do. You're torn between your badge and your respect for her."

"You're not upset that she killed an associate's of Red John's?"

Jane swallowed hard before answering, "No, I believed she had to. Lisbon doesn't act unless necessary. She probably would have been dead if she hadn't. Besides, I think she can tell us more than he possibly would have."

The door open and the guards lead a heavily pregnant Lisbon in.

"Oh now, this just keep getting better and better," Jane said after his speechlessness passed.

"Lisbon," Cho got up and stood; he didn't know what to do. He couldn't shake her hand or hug her; it would have been inappropriate considering the circumstances.

"Hey Cho," She gave him a small smile.

Lisbon looked terrible. It seemed as if she hadn't eaten or slept for days and she was very pale.

"Li—Mrs. Cooperman…" Lisbon cut Cho off.

"Call me Teresa," She said while she ran a hand through her hair.

"Alright, Teresa, why did you kill your husband," Cho looked at her expectantly.

Lisbon gave a pained smile, "Straight to the million dollar question." She took a gulp of the glass of water Jane had poured. "I killed Carter Cooperman because he was Red John."

Jane and Cho's eyes widened.

"Lisbon that is not funny," Jane yelled as he got in her face. "Don't joke around like that."

"I'm not," She yelled back before becoming emotional. "I never even thought to suspect Carter of such of thing, but when I became pregnant again, I became very insecure and emotional. The business trips that he used to always take, I became paranoid of. I thought he was cheating, so I started to track his movements. Then, I noticed a pattern. Not with just his traveling, but his money as well and his behavior. I didn't instantly think killer when I came across these findings, but something felt off to me. I started to become unsettled by him and his sincerity just seemed false after a while. Everything that he did: every word, every emotion, every action was just a show. My husband," Lisbon spat. "Always had to outdo others and be the best at any and everything. I kept saying, 'Carter, you are such a showman.' Those words fit him in the most disturbing sense. It was then I realized that people felt unsettled by him and there was always this slight sinister look on his face. He was fascinated with the color red, but not because it was his favorite color and he had an extreme fascination with my cases, but especially those having to do with Red John. So, one day, I decided to compare his travel expenses to Red John's locations and they fit to the tee. And the more I dug, the more things fit."

"He was on his way to kill again," Jane said in monotone.

"Yeah, I knew had to act to fast," Lisbon wiped her tear-stained face.

"Teresa, you don't have to continue if you don't want to," Cho said sympathetically. Jane's faced screamed the opposite, but he kept his mouth closed.

"When he saw me, he knew that I knew. Without words, we knew that only one of us could exit the house alive. He wasn't going to stop killing and I wasn't going to let him kill. Not only was my life on the line, but our child's as well," Lisbon choked out. "I used to always wonder how a woman can love a monster and not know he was a monster…now I know."

"You still love him, don't you," Jane said softly, but his eyes conveyed anger.

"What kind of person does that make me if I say yes?" Lisbon shut her eyes tightly and swallowed hard. "Carter didn't show his love by being there at home with me and doing family-like things, he showed his love by coming back. Everything that he faked was to make me happy—not because he didn't feel it. You can never fully understand the hell I am going through. He may have killed your wife and child, but he was my husband and the father of my unborn child. He saved me from the darkness of losing my fiancée when, in actuality, he was the who brought it in the first place." She then looked at the consultant. "Jane, for once, can you stop thinking about yourself? I had to kill my husband who happened to be an infamous serial killer. If I could wish my feelings away in a heartbeat, I would, but I can't. Emotions are far more complex than that, you should know."

Jane paced back and forth as Lisbon spoke. He still couldn't comprehend someone—Lisbon—loving Red John. No, Red John didn't have the time to make a life and have a wife and kids. He was far too busy killing people and taking away their wives and kids. How could he settle down and love? Did he even know how to love?

"Lisbon, he didn't love you, he was only trying to hurt me," Jane declared as he stared her square in the eyes.

"Are we done here," Lisbon said abruptly as she half glared at Jane.

"Yeah, you know the routine," Cho said softly; indicating if there were further questions that needed to be asked and whatnot she knew what to do.

Lisbon shook her head yes, and then got up slowly. She thoroughly wiped the tears off of her face before straightening the rest of her clothes, and then walked to the door. As she opened the door, Lisbon looked at Jane said,

"Whether or not Carter really loved me is irrelevant because it doesn't change the way I felt about him. It doesn't change the way he made me feel." Lisbon leaned her head against the door for a moment. "But, it does change the way I feel about you."

Lisbon contemplated her relationship with Jane and as to why it was dysfunctional as it was. As much as she wanted to put all the blame on him, she couldn't. There were plenty of moments she could have just gone up to him and spoke her mind, but she didn't because she was afraid he would break her. Deep down, Lisbon knew that Jane had very intense, confused, and had conflicting emotions for her that would be considered borderline love. But, she didn't want just a part of him, but rather, all of him. Every fiber and every detail, not only the things he was willing to share.

Lisbon refused to live in the shadow of his previous wife—she refused to play second to a dead woman. They could have been great together, but at the same time they would have been the demise of one another. So, she let him slip through her fingers and let Frye get a hold of him. She was afraid of the possibility of having Jane, and then losing him. Because when she thought about it even more, she wasn't just playing second to his dead wife and child, but Red John as well, so that made her third. Every woman wants to be a man's number one, not his number two or three.

All this time, she lied to herself because she loved Jane too much to willingly let him go if they ever took that step.

It was time for a change.

A real change this time.