Ch 2

"So where in Richmond are we headed?" I was surprised that she had agreed to drive me all the way to my new home but I took it as a good sign. The further she physically got from that cliff's edge the better I felt, despite the fact that she could still just as easily go right back.

"Um.. it says here, exit 178B. I guess it's the Short Pump area." I read off the directions the realtor had given me by email.

"Wait, I thought you said I was bringing you home? You're not sure where you live all of a sudden?"

"Actually I'm only just moved here from Chicago. Thus the car overheating. I tried driving straight through but apparently Fate had other plans." My plan was to give her bits and pieces of information in the hopes of piquing her interest. If I she's intrigued by something, anything for that matter, she'll want to stick around to figure it out. The longer she sticks around, the more time I have to convince her not to return to that damn cliff.

"What brings you to Richmond of all places? Do you have family around these parts?" I couldn't help but revel in her slight southern drawl... not overwhelming, but subtle and absolutely charming.

"Nope, just felt like a change."

She kept taking the bait and I was reveling in it. "So do you at least have a job lined up? The market around here isn't that great right now. Well not anywhere but especially here."

"Oh I have a job. Why do you say that about the job market in Richmond specifically? Do you live in the area too?" I had no way of knowing if she was from Richmond or someplace closer to the cliff which was a good eighty miles from the city. She could live in some tiny town miles from here.

"My brother's been looking for work for over a year now. Has his wife and two kids to look after and even with a degree in engineering he's been bouncing around doing odd jobs to put food on the table." I was well aware that she didn't answer my question about where she lived but I figured I'd overlook it for the moment since she was starting to give some good information.

"So what about your parents? They can't help out?" She winced at the word "parents" and confirmed my suspicion that she'd lost someone close. Either that or they're somehow absent or abusive.

"They're not around," was her only response.

I decided to backtrack a little, "And you, do you have a job in this bad economy?" It was risky, this could be her reason for jumping right here.

"I am gainfully employed, yes." I guess she decided to be just as cryptic as me so I decided I needed to divulge a bit more to get back into a rapport.

"My sister, Alice, had a hard time finding work in fashion designing after she graduated a year back. She decided to start her own line instead. She's still struggling but she loves it."

"She's back in Chicago?"

"Yeah, her and my parents. They were pretty upset about this move but I needed some freedom. Sometimes they could be a bit overbearing. I know they mean well though."

I realized I was treading on thin ice. This is exactly why psychiatrists don't share private information with their patients, but then, Bella's not my patient. And for some reason I really don't want her to be one. I'd love to help her get back on track but if once I convince her to give living a try I'll have to recommend a colleague for further treatment. The thoughts I'm having about her at this moment are far from professional.

I looked over briefly when I realized she hadn't responded. She was biting the edge of her bottom lip, her brows furrowed in worry. If only I could see inside that head of hers and figure out what's causing her so much pain. Certainly family is a hot button issue. I decided to try to dig for a little more details.

"Bella," her head spun in my direction, almost like she forgot I was even in the passenger seat next to her. "Do you live on your own here in Richmond?" I decided to be sly about the location in the hopes she wouldn't pick up on it.

"Why are you asking me this? It doesn't matter because I'm not going back and you can't make me!" Her voice was suddenly forceful and I wasn't sure what I'd said to change her demeanor so quickly.

"Oh I'm not making you do anything you don't want to do, Bella, believe me. Have I lied to you yet?" She shook her head. "So why start now? I'm merely making small talk to pass the time."

She seemed at least momentarily appeased by my response so I continued. "You know it might help to talk about it. You know, to an impartial observer," I internally cringed at the word impartial. After knowing her only a short time I'm already finding myself drawn to this mysterious broken woman. I took her silence and lack of an immediate rejection as a good sign. "What if I promise not to weigh in, only to listen, would that help?"

She remained unreadable which was overwhelmingly frustrating, but then she made the slightest nod in the affirmative. "So tell me, Bella, what happened?"

"You probably think I'm going to tell you some sob story about how my father abused me or I was gang raped or something. It's nothing like that. If anything you'll probably just think I'm some silly girl with silly problems who's being overly dramatic."

"Bella," I tried to convey all my sincerity in my voice, "I didn't ask what I would think about your problems. If you were driven to this point it's obviously something very serious for you. Like I said, I'm just the impartial observer. Talk me like you'd talk to a pet."

At the word "pet" she broke down crying. Well, at least she's breaking down some barriers, but I couldn't help but be curious. I handed her my handkerchief and gestured for her to continue.

"My cat died. Okay so maybe that's not worthy of suicide but it was the final straw, ya know." I had to stop her there.

"Bella, please stop thinking your problems are insignificant. I'm sure your cat was very important to you, right?" She nodded while tears ran down her cheeks. "And am I right in assuming there's a little more to the story?" She nodded again. "So why don't you start from the beginning, rather than the final straw. When did you first think about killing yourself?"

"I can't believe you're even asking me this stuff. I swear the way you talk it's like you're a shrink or something." Thank God she was looking at the road and didn't see my facial expression at that moment. "I'm not really big on talking about my feelings, ya know? My family's not really that close. I mean, my brother's great but not really someone I can open up to that way." She paused and I notice a look of resolution on her face.

"I didn't always live in Virginia. I grew up here, or not far from here in a tiny little town, but then after college I lived in New York City for 8 years." I quickly did the math in my head, no way the woman sitting next to me was thirty. She looked looked at most 24 and I'd say she could even pass for a college student. Well I guess I don't feel like such a dirty old man since I'm 32. Wait, stop thinking of her like that. This is a seriously depressed person, not a hot date... well she is hot. Damnit – pay attention!

"While I was in New York I was in a relationship. James was older and he dazzled me with fancy restaurants and parties and … other things. Before I knew it I'd left everything I knew behind and was living with him. It was like a fairy tale at first, until it all started crashing down. He um... well, he was abusive," she paused again and I wonder if she'd heard the low growl that escaped my throat. The thought of some jerk hurting this sweet innocent... okay gotta get in under control. Breathe...

She focused on the road and continued, "I don't even have to look at you right now to know what your expression is. That cross between pity and frustration. Yeah - I never really expected I'd become 'one of those women.' The kind that defends some asshole who's hurting her. The one that bends over backwards to just keep his temper from blowing up. I remember watching 'Sleeping with the Enemy' and thinking Julia Roberts was an idiot for even getting in that state. That was before... It's different when you're in it, ya know. He had this way of making everything into my fault and everyone else just loved him so after a while I started believing the lies."

I decided to redirect. "So you were with this loser, James," I had to grit my teeth just saying this douchebag's name, "and then you realized one day you wanted to leave so you moved back to Virginia?"

"Not exactly. I left him 3 times in all. The first two times he .. uh.. convinced me to come back. At the time I knew I was better off without him but I just wasn't strong enough to shake him. I finally realized the only way to move on would be to completely leave behind everything from his world. The parties, the superficial friends, everything. I quickly found out that I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. He'd spread vicious lies about me to all our mutual "friends" so that was that. Maybe his plan was to ostracize me until I got so lonely I'd give in and come back, I'm not really sure. The thing was, I didn't care about most of those people. They were just a bunch of fake airheads, most of them. It did hurt though when some of the people I'd really thought were my friends abandoned me without even listening to my side of the story. But I suppose whatever James told them must have made me into a monster. He was always very... convincing. Anyway, you can see why I have a hard time opening up to people now."

"So you lost your friends? Then you moved down her to be near your brother?"

"Well not all of my friends abandoned me. I still have Garret, my best friend, well I did. But then he met Kate and she's 'Team James'. See, Garrett never really knew the whole story so now if I even bring it up, whatever James said comes back to haunt me so I end up looking like a liar or a drama queen." Her face fell visibly.

"But there's your family? Your brother you mentioned before and your sister-in-law?"

"Emmett and Rosalie are great. Emmett's just about the best brother a girl could ask for and Rose is really nice and welcoming. I moved down here and they sort of took me under their wing. I found a job at bookstore in their neighborhood but it's only part-time and the pay isn't great so I'm not able to contribute very much. Rose says I contribute by babysitting my nephews, Sam and Embry, but I'd do that anyway." So I was right about her living with her brother. And her history explains her trust issues, especially when it comes to men. But what was the crux of the matter here? The cat might have been the straw that broke the camel's back but what cause the fatal blow right before that straw hit?

Almost like she read my thoughts, she responded. "Emmett finally got a job offer. It's perfect for him, head of engineering for some big wig corporation. Right on par with what he'd been doing for Dow before he was laid off." I was just waiting for it now. "The job is in New York." And there it is.

"I can't go back there. It's like James practically owns the city. I'm barely even functioning here in Richmond. It got really bad before I left, and I swore I'd never go back. Emmett of course knows this and like the idiot he was all set to turn down the offer... for me!" She made an exacerbated sigh like there was no way she was worth it. I'm beginning to really like this brother of hers.

"Do you feel like you're not worthy of his love and support? Obviously he cares a lot about his family and you're very important to him. I'm sure he just wants you to be happy."

"That's just it! I'm not happy! I haven't been for a really long time. I was with that jerk for so long I forgot who Bella Swan really is and even I'm better than I was before, I still can't freaking form friendships to save my life. It's like I'm socially retarded now. My average Saturday night is spent watching the lastest Shrek installment while fighting a popcorn war with my twin 5 yr old nephews. Forget dating I can't even make friends!"

"You have me, Bella, and if you'd let me I'd love to be your friend." She gasped and I can't believe the words slipped out like that. God I just hope I didn't ruin all her progress with my stupid lack of filter!

"Um... uh." It was almost like she'd forgotten she was talking to another human. Like this is the sort of conversation she'd normally reserve for her cat.

"Don't worry about that right now, keep talking. So Emmett turned down the offer and then your cat died? Is that the end?"

Thankfully she took the redirection – God how embarrassing. I just hope she forgets I said that. I mean sure I'd love to be her friend but right now this girl needs help and obviously has problems with trust. How she's even venting like this now is amazing but I can't take anything for granted.

"Well he got the job offer on Wednesday, but he has until Monday to decide. So 2 days ago, after hearing about everything from Emmett, I ran to Felix, my cat, to talk which is what I usually do in that kind of situation." I was right about her forgetting I was human. "I looked everywhere and couldn't find him. I figured he was probably off hunting in the woods behind Emmett's house. But yesterday I got a call from a neighbor who found him, or what was left of him which wasn't much more than his collar and some bones." She shivered and then started crying harder this time. I suggest we pull over and since we were close to my exit she ended up pulling off the highway and heading to a diner.

"Would you like to go inside? We can talk more over some coffee." Anything to prolong this conversation was all I could think. I could see why she felt so hopeless but I needed her to understand there were other options for her. I was hoping I could convince her to stay here in Virginia, either with or without her brother. I'd like to think my motivation was entirely selfless but I also wanted to get to know this sad, beautiful girl who is crying next to me. I've counseled thousands of patients and I've never before had this overwhelming desire to protect someone. I just wanted to wrap her in my harms, kiss her on the head and tell her everything will be okay.

I had to touch her in some non threatening way so I opened her door and offered my hand. She stared at it for a moment and I was almost certain she was going to ignore it or push me away so when she grasped my hand tentatively I couldn't hold back my goofy smile. I looked into the chocolate depths of her eyes and through all the pain and suffering they carried I saw the smallest flash of hope.

After a moment I notice her shifting her gaze nervously and realized I was just staring at her. I tried to compose myself quickly and led her into the diner. We were at our table before I noticed we were still holding hands.