CHAPTER 2
Truth be told Bobby Hobbes isn't exactly the perfect Chip 'n' Dales specimen. He's more of balding, late thirties, early forties, rugged play boy hidden under the bed obsessed, and self-conscious guy. Don't get me wrong… he can get real deep when a life or death situation comes along. But, that's awfully rare even then. He has, some... good qualities. He's caring, just shows it in his own odd way. Has a sense of humor. Not a good one... or bad per say, he just has one. Most importantly he's dedicated to his job and great at it. But if he strays he's always got a friend to back him up.
The giddy boys broaden their conversation to 'what features women first look at when they see an attractive stud like 'themselves.'
"Fox, its muscularity, my friend."
"Oh-ho you mean like you?" tries to rile Hobbes up.
"Of course! Here... feel this." Bobby rolls up his sleeve and stretches out an arm to flex for Fox to touch. "Go on. Feel it." Surprisingly it 'is' impressive. Fox though just nods in acknowledgement and passes on the squeeze test. "Intimidating for yah, Fox? Don't worry, you cut down on the jelly doughnuts and Pizza, maybe workout once in a while, you might be able to get rid of that beer belly, my friend."
Again with the beer belly? What beer belly is there, huh? He wonders. "Ok. That wasn't funny when she said it, but when you put it like that... it's still not funny,"
They put up their fists for some friendly play sparing. "Besides, everyone knows, chics dig the hair."
"Ok, now 'that's' just low Fox. That was low."
Interrupting the boxing match, Ebert's puts his two cents in and tries to add a reprimand too. "The butt." Fox and Hobbes stop abruptly and stare at Eberts. "The butt is the most common attraction women have of men." He nods with a wide eyed paranoid look.
"And 'you' know this how?" Hobbs. Fox just stared with interest.
"It was in a survey from Teen Magazine I saw. –at the dentists' office, last week."
"Uh huh..." Hobbes mutters.
"I-It was," is Eberts best defense.
"Hold on a minute." Hobbes pulls fox aside for a moment and then returns again. "Twenty bucks that that aint it."
"W-w-well, I'm not accustomed to betting." Eberts stutters, "But-"
"Good it's a bet." Fox interjects, "Twenty from each to the one who's right."
"Darien... I only meant…"
"Oh come on where's your sense of excitement Eberts? Hey if it makes you feel better, we can ask the Keep." Fox and Hobbes pat each other on the back and start walking. Eberts just stands there. The two come back and each grab one of Eberts arms and walk off again down the hall. "Come on, Eberts."
"N-Now?" Shy Eberts questions, rather mortified.
"Don't worry, she won't bite."
"Much." Fox finishes. "I mean it aint like you have a crush on her or anything." He snaps with sarcasm.
Eberts turned three shades of red, in the face. But apparently Fox and Hobbes weren't paying attention to that. Moments later the three stooges arrive at the Keeper's office door. They can hear music blasting through the heavy duty metallic walls of her office. They enter through recognizing the music. Madonna's 'All For You' (Verse: The girls at the party, look at that body. Shakin' that thing like you never did see. Nice package alright, guess I'll have to buy it tonight.)
"Oh. Hello boys. "The Keeper replies with her accent, just realizing they were there. The song ends and the Keeper turns the boom-box off. "So what can I do for you?"
"Well, for one, I could use a dose." Darien rolls his right arm sleeve up, revealing a snake tattoo that was divided into sections. All but one was red.
"All right. Hop right on up here." She pats the medical seat, and then turns grabbing a syringe and what looks like a rather large insulin vial. She draws up the liquid and inserts the needle into Fox's arm. Almost immediately the red sections of the snake transform back to their original green color. "So what's number two, hmmm?"
"Number... two?" Hobbes' mind side tracked childishly for a bit.
"Yes, you see, Bobby... I mean, Darien and... Well they... we..." Eberts stutters again.
Truth be told, whether or not it was known to any or all, there were three people who 'really' liked and cared a lot about the Keeper. I think that in such instances, the male subconscious picks up things like this, and once taken care of, this knowledge just disappears until another such situation arises. If you've paid attention, you'll know what I mean.
"What Eberts is trying to spit out is that... we... us three... that is..." Hobbes was now getting a bit embarrassed too.
Now, why is it always left to the last person to speak, to say what's on everyone's mind? "We... wanted to know... that if there were a one question survey... for instance, 'On average, what is the most common trait a female being of... any species, first considers attractive of the opposite sex?..." Darien looks over to Hobbes with a boyish grin "I just said..." He and Hobbes exchange a few things only a male would understand.
Eberts, clearing his throat, grabs the other boys' attention back for the Keeper. "Yeah, that's what we meant." Both Hobbes and Eberts chime together, shyly.
"Well. I'm not exactly sure." Keeper contemplates with some serious thought. "Each species is relatively different. For instance, the lioness chooses her mate by his strength. The Female elf on the other hand chooses her life long mate by the different octaves the male is able to accomplish in higher pitches. With peacocks it's how bright and full their tail feathers are-"
"W-well... that's all we wanted to know." Eberts purposely cut her short. "Thank you for your time."
"You're very welcome, Eberts." Smiles sweetly, "I hope I was as informative as needed. Curiously though, just what was the reason behind the inquiry?"
"It has to do with Fox and I's case is all." And Hobbes makes the save.
"Well, alright then."
"Yeah, we'd better go now and finish the report. So, yeah, laters Keep!" Fox sends his salutations.
"Ok."
They, being: Eberts, Darien and Bobby, head for the door.
"I prefer the gludious-maximus, Butt." The keeper replies allowed, having meant the answer for her own ears.
Eberts smiles and opens his mouth to say something to the other two, "Shut up Eberts!" Came the response before anything could have been uttered, causing Eberts to clam up. This didn't stop him from stretching for his hand in expectation as he smiles victorious. Hobbes reluctantly hands over his share of the betting money, they then both look to Darien.
"Heh, I thought I mentioned that she stole my wallet too." Scratches the back of his neck, "Hobbes y'mind spotten me a..." Pats Hobbes on the shoulder, grateful and guiltily, as the man pays up for him.
"You owe me."
"I'll pay yah back when that chic gives my wallet back."
"Alri- Hey!" He caught the catch 22 that wouldn't work to his favor.
It better be sooner than that, my friend." Raises a brow just for emphasis.
All three boys head to the office of 'The Big Man.' Bobby entering first as Fox and Eberts come in suit, still talking about what women prefer in a guy. It was more of a curiosity Darien got after realizing that while Eberts may not have a girlfriend... he did actually know about them, so was trying to compare notes and get pointers.
Soon enough the Keeper saunters in as well, Ms. Monroe was already in her seat before anyone of the group had shown up. Hobbes throws out a greeting to 'The Big Man.' "Hey, Chief."
Eberts stops speaking immediately, becoming reserved once more and realizing his status in this office.
"Hobbes." Came the, icy, formal greeting.
Few moments go by before, "Ah, hey Chief." Darien, realizing, with a smile, that he had kept babbling to Eberts even after they'd arrived in the room, despite the other man's silence.
The Chief gives Fox one of his grudging 'Humphs,' with the added disapproving glare. "I want to know what happened!" Demands abruptly. "This was supposed to be a simple assignment. You two were supposed to 'Pop in,' sabotage, the 'pop out' again."
"W-well ...we did just that." Hobbes' hand fidgets around in the air, then gives a 'pointing out' 'well this is what happened' gesture. "You see, we went and did the whole steak out with... with uh... the cops... of course they were all just stuffin' their mouths with jelly doughnuts. But Fox and I, we were ready for anything,' we were ready to jump at the sign of anything!'
Now why don't we pause a moment here, as Bobby Hobbes attempts to make things look a lot better than it really occurred? Because, let's face it. Neither, Darien or Hobbes, in the same space as each other can be that perfect and heroic, so straight by the book. So what we're going to do is give you a look at the real scene, just don't go telling the 'Big Man.'
Its pitch black outside the bank, and the criminals had just entered the building. Hobbes and Fox are seated in their van. Hobbes is behind the wheel chowing down on one of the jelly doughnuts. One of several boxes that had been passed among all the waiting cops. Hobbes holds out a box of them in front of Darien, with his other hand stuffing a full doughnut into his salivating mouth. A stream of jelly squirts out onto the balding mans cheek.
"Have some, my friend. Doughnuts are food for the brain. It sharpens it too." He states quite matter of factly.
"Well with as much of those that you've eaten, your mind must be as sharp as a stick." The comrade exaggerates.
"Sharper my friend, sharper." Once again offers a choice of doughnuts.
"I think your mind is sharp enough for the both of us." Declines.
Suddenly on the intercom they get a call for all to fall out.
"Here we go." Hobbes states as he shoves a powdered doughnut in his mouth to take along.
"It's about time!" Fox quicksilvers then opens up the side door and shuts it behind him. He moves around the van to Hobbes' side. Impatient, he opens bobby's door, grabs him, and quicksilvers the man too.
"Oh..." The pastry drops out of his mouth rematerializing as it splat on the ground.
"What?"
"Turnin' invisible is so sweet!" His voice was rather excited. Almost like giving a kid back in the 80's a brand new G.I. Joe doll.
"Oh yeah. It's about as sweet as that red jelly on the side of your face." Comments caustically, rather uninterested in the repetitive, worn out, comment his buddy says so very often, as it was.
"Wha-? Jelly, where?" Feels around his face as they 'fall-out.' He wipes the now unseen jelly off, only to splat on Darien's unseen shoe, briefly coming visible long enough to re-disappear and gain a grudging grunt from his pal.
Now as the swat team barges inside, this little flash back ends, as Hobbes raps up the finishing touches of his story re-make.
"...and then we, ah, went uninvisible and I guess fox here saw some chic run off and he went after her. And when we caught up to him he was on another roof, alone."
Darien whispers to Monroe, "Uninvisible? Is that even a word?"
The Chief, picking out what little of the facts he could tell were true out of Hobbes fabricated fairy tale, still had a 'not amused' look upon his already soured face.
"So, Fox, would you mind telling me how this 'chic,'" Emphasizes the 'chic'." "was allowed to get away?"
"Um, well..." Head tilts back and to the left a bit as his eyes look aside. "She used a leg sweep, knocking me to my ass... er, butt, sir." He actually gets up to imitate all this. "and then she whipped out a nice shiny silver silencer and held it to my head. Then! She went and... disappeared when Hobbes got there."
"That's it! You didn't attempt to apprehend the perp while invisible?"
"I- I did. But..." His voice trails off.
The Keeper had listened intently as she's heard Bobby's story, and then seen Darien's reenactment. It was hard for her to keep herself from laughing in amusement. Ms. Monroe on the other hand stared in anticipation, as she took in all the idiocy.
"She didn't see you go invisible either time did she?" The chief barks, anticipating a positive 'No sir.'
"No." Fox replies with a lie.
"Good! Then-"
Fox interrupts him, "But-"
"But, what?" Came the short, sharp, question.
"She didn't see me go invisible, but, she did see me rematerialize."
The Chief stares at fox.
"Both times" Darien finishes, "Oh and took my credentials."
The Chief remains eerily silent in contemplation, before recapping. "So, we have a dangerous, armed, criminal. With a list of violations a mile long. Who now knows this department's most secret weapon."
"If you don't mind, I prefer not to be classified as a 'weapon.' I mean, after all I am just the same as the rest of you." Darien came to his own defense.
"Yah, sure." The chief snorts in a 'yah, whatever you say' tone.
"So do we have anything on this 'chic'?" Hobbes cut into the tense ora of the room.
Eberts steps forward with a file with several copies of the same stapled information, passing them out to each individual in the office. "What you are about to see is information on our culprit-"
"Duh, and I thought it was toilet paper to wipe my-"
Monroe gave Hobbes the look of death.
Bobby coughs, "Nose. To uh, wipe my nose with. Yeah."
Monroe rolls her eyes.
"Go on Eberts." Encourages, Keeper.
Starting once again from the beginning. "What you are about to see is information on our culprit. Unfortunately we have been unable to obtain a positive photo I.D. However, I'm sure Darien can fill you in as to what she looks like. We also, do not have much to go on, because somehow, 'Tiger Eye' has always managed to pull her own disappearing acts before we could get close enough to find any regular routine or whereabouts of hers.
"Tiger Eye?" Baldy snuffs.
"Well, we also don't have her real name or any alias for her that she goes by, so we gave her one." He explains, into detail how the name 'tiger Eye' was selected for the villainous woman.
"Shut up Eberts." Chief says with a forming headache.
Fox waits a moment or two before giving his two cents. "C.J."
Chief, "What?"
Darien opens his mouth again, "C.J. It's got to be a set of initials, right?" Snickers, "I mean what parent would actually give their little girl a guy's name?"
Chief grumbles. "I would. In fact Csiejae also happens to be my daughter's name."
"You have a daughter? You have a kid?" Both Hobbes and the Keep question with an astounded disbelief.
"He never told you?" Eberts asks innocently.
"Whoa. You told Eberts?" Monroe interjects. "No offense. But you didn't tell us!"
"None taken" Eberts smiles sweetly with an air of momentary importance.
"It's privileged information, Ms. Monroe. And I'd like to keep it that way." The Big man was serious.
"Of course," Hobbes, "After all, one word of you having a 'daughter,' people are liable to think yer soft." The chief shot him a look. "Which yer most certainly not by any means... sir."
"So you're married too? Well what does your little girl look like?" Keeper's curiosity was peeked.
"No, I'm not, not anymore. We split up when Csiejae was about eight teen. Here, I got a picture..." Reaches in the desk drawer and pulls out a tattered photo with one small end torn off. "I haven't seen her since that was taken though. She was so angry, that she disowned me as her father."
Monroe, the Keeper, and Hobbes are first in line, next to Eberts, to see it.
"Wow! She was hot! ...I mean," throat clears "very attractive for being eight teen, sir." Hobbes.
"She's beautiful sir." Keeper.
"Not bad." Monroe gives an indifferent comment.
Fox gets up, walking over to see the picture, with mild interest. After all how good could the Chief's daughter look? He expects a girl the size of the Titanic. Twirling the picture about, to face him, "Ah crap. That's her!" Announces,
Tha- That's C.J., Tiger Eye, whatever her name is. That's the chic that tried to kill me!"
"Really!" Was the collectives reply.
Hobbes looks to fox, then the picture again. "Man, you're lucky."
"Are you sure Darien?" The Keep asks in her accent.
"Yeah, that's definitely her," he points to the girl in the photo. "Definitely."
"Well, in that case... we'll put operation 'Winged Cats Scratch' into effect with one exception." Eberts pulls out more papers from a separate manila folder, passing them out.
"Yeah, what's that?" Monroe, very professional, inquiries.
Eberts turns to the Chief.
"I want her back alive. Don't care how you do it, as long as she's at least breathing."
"That's kinda harsh there Chief." Hobbes didn't understand why his boss seemed cold hearted even toward his own flesh and blood. But from the dangerously intense look shot at him, it wasn't something that would be explained either. "But, on the other hand, it's none of our business." Buries his face in the briefing papers and steps away from the desk.
With the briefing now over and everyone filing out the door, Darien Fox holds back, looking at the Chief who was staring intently at paper work and jotting down notes. Fox steps to one of the twin chairs in front of the desk and took a seat, only to be ignored. He starts drumming fingers on the front base of the chair. "So, uh... Chief?"
"Hm." Continues work.
"You said you haven't seen or heard from your daughter since she was eight teen?
With out even a glance up, "That's what I said."
"And she's how old now?"
The man looks up with a questioning die hard stare that took effort to pause his work.
Darien takes up the defensive again. "I aint tryin' anything!" His hands go in the air as a gesture of surrender. "I'm not trying anything. Serious."
Gazing at the picture on his desk, traces the edging before picking it up and slamming it in his top desk drawer. "Five years, to the day." He then went back to reviewing files and other assorted paper work.
Darien thought on this while he awaits more information from 'Big Man,' only to receive none. "That's a fairly long vacation from each other." Prods.
"Mhh."
"Chief?"
"What, Fox!"
Shrugging in a cool calm manner, "Hey, after five years, Big Man... I was just thinking that despite everyone's situations, you'd want to know how the chic, er, your daughter is."
Still working, eyes pinned down to the task before him, "Alright Fox. How is she?" Still no true sign of interest is revealed.
Fox leant back in his chair, tipping a bit, hands behind his head. "Hot." Darien, having gone into dream land mode, catches his mistake. "Ah- good and healthy... very healthy, and same humor as her old man." Finishes honestly.
Still none to interested, "Fox?" Looks up now, arms crossed, resting on the desk top.
"Sir?"
"Are you quite finished?" raises a quirked eyebrow.
Still sitting silent for an awkward moment, abruptly stands to his feet. "Yeah." Walking to the door, his employer's eyes fixated on him. He halts, pivots half a step and opens his mouth but shuts it once more and exits, making way to the snack lounge. Running a hand through his dirty-blonde hair, finds himself quite exhausted. "I'm going home and sleeping till four in the evening."
Keeper, "You should Darien." Acknowledging the guy, with a cup of coffee, in a toast. "You need your rest. Straining yourself so much lately isn't doing your body any good." She watches Fox open his locker to pull out a few things. "And, Darien? Don't worry too much about the Chief. He always acts difficult, you know that. But it doesn't mean he's completely heartless." Smiles.
Fox grunts, "Half the time I'm not so sure. But, somebody's going to need to look after the 'chic'... even if her 'pops' wont. That girl deserves her ass kicked, but the Chief is a hair shy of not caring if she's dead."
"And here I thought." Her rich accent filling the air "you were more worried about if she liked that rear end of yours, Darien. Instead... You're worried about someone else's welfare." Leans over to whisper near his ear. "Our Darien's growing up." Chuckles while sipping her coffee, also notes the forming denial on the attractive guy's face. For which the Keep could also tell Darien was contemplating going quicksilver. "Oh come now. I can put two and two together."
Laters, Keep." He couldn't stand the embarrassment, or the thought of if the Keep had put anything else together either.
Of course it probably didn't help the fact that, while neither he nor the Keep could remember, they'd both been informed of an incident where the two of them had been literal caught in the act! 'The dirty deed.' Fox and the Keep both got quicksilver madness, went completely invisible, the woman was as if an animal in heat. Him... he was like the male beast having caught her scent. Both were found, invisible, buck naked going at it, as though rabid with lust. Fortunately, despite being out in the open, they were under some tarp... when Robert Hobbes found them and injected each with the counter serum. Darien had felt awkward since, some, but not too much so, with the Keep. Both had silently agreed not to bring it up again. Especially when Bobby had gotten moody for some ...reason, over the next few days after the incident. The whole point here being that due to this very situation, no one would dare pursue wanting to know what it was 'how much' the Keep knew about it all, or any similar matter that would dig this itchy matter up. If you'd like to know how I know this... ask me again later. You'll love the answers I give you then.