A/N … Sorry guys! I meant to post sooner but it's been crazy busy here lately. More on that and my update schedule later. For now, enjoy the latest chapter. I don't own it but I'm eternally grateful to Stephanie for dreaming about sparkly vampires.

Ch 8

We walked slowly down a narrow hallway into a fluorescent lit room filled with steel cages stacked to low hanging ceiling. The air was heady with the smell of industrial cleansers and I could literally feel the joy being sucked from my body. It's impossible not to be moved at the sight of these poor creatures, many of which will never again see the light of day or experience a loving, safe environment.

Bella gazed upon the cages with glassy eyes and I knew her heart was breaking. Knowing her she's probably thinking up a plan to rescue all of them but that's just not possible today. Only one will be pardoned and released.

I moved over to the larger crate housing an obscene number of kittens. They're are some balled up in the corner in a heap, finding whatever comfort they can by huddling together in their sleep. One gray striped kitten notices me and tries to bat at my fingers through the bars. She shows her teeth in an effort to seem more intimidating and I have to hold back a laugh thinking of how much she reminds me of Bella the day she found out about my occupation. An angry kitten – adorable.

Flashback -

"All I know right now is that I don't want – no, I can't lose you." I was so close I could feel her warm breath on my face. Just one more inch and our lips would touch. My internal struggle was alarming. I can't touch this girl, must remain professional. But that's what this is all about isn't it? We're not in a professional relationship.

In the end it was the fear of hurting her that made me draw back.

You can imagine my surprise when it was Bella who stepped forward, reached her arms around my neck and crashed her lips to mine.

My senses exploded in that instant. It barely took a second for me to respond in kind, my arms wrapping around her tiny waist, grabbing at the back of her shirt and pulling her as close to me as possible. This seemed to spur her on further as she took my bottom lip between hers, sucking and nibbling it softly. I couldn't bring myself to hold back the embarrassing loud groan I emitted.

Bella use the opportunity of my parted lips to deepen our kiss. She was definitely in control. This quiet, sweet, selfless girl had transformed into a fiery temptress. All thoughts of right and wrong were gone from my mind – there's only her and the recurring mantra in my head -

More.

I reached down and palmed her ass while she lifted her leg up over my hip. Our tongues violently thrashed. This was no soft, loving kiss. It was demanding and lust. Teeth clashing and fingers digging into flesh. The friction where my denim clad length met her pajama pant covered hip was only increasing the flames. Teasing and almost painfully slow movements as her hips bucked against me was enough to drive me to the brink. Control totally foregone I lifted her and her legs wrapped around my waist. Her hands wound around my neck, hands pulling viciously at my hair. I felt like the world could burn around me and I wouldn't care, so lost in her ministrations. My only thoughts were foggy and primal.

Take. Mine.

Before I could process the fact that my legs were moving I had her pinned to the closest wall, my hand now able to graze over the hardened peaks of her breasts over her thin t-shirt.

"Edward." She moaned now that we'd broken our kiss for me to gaze upon her beautiful but still covered chest. No that's no good, I thought.

Naked. NOW.

I began slowly lifting the hem of her shirt when I heard a whimper escape her lips. Somehow it seemed wrong. Looking up and into her tear stained face I felt my heart collapse upon itself. It was in that moment my brain finally caught up with what was happening. Surreal – like a moment in a film where the focus suddenly changes and one thing finally stands out amongst the blur. What I'd interpreted as sounds of lust now made more sense because in her eyes, at that moment, I saw only fear … and pain.

"Holy crap, Bella!" I practically sobbed her name. I had lost control and I hurt her. Now she's scared of me. She should be. I'm freaking monster.

"It's okay, Edward... just … you're um... crushing..." Her words were barely discernible between her cries of agony. Realizing finally that I still had her pinned to the wall, I slowly released her and she immediately crumpled to the ground.

I was brought back to the present by the sound of Bella calling my name. How she can even stand to be in my presence now, only 24 hours after I hurt her like that, I have no idea. Somehow she managed to forgive me but I will never be able to forgive myself. In an effort to show her that I do truly care for her well being, I offered to bring her here, the local SPCA, to find a new feline companion.

"Look at this guy, isn't he a sweetheart?" She beamed and it was impossible not to smile in return. I don't fucking deserve her smiles. Looking away and trying to avoid the pain from that thought, I took in the cat she seemed to fancy. A black and white cat with one yellow eye stared up at me. I can't be certain, but I swear I looked like he was sneering at me.

"You sure about this one, Bella? I thought you would want a kitten." Of all the cats in this room she has to pick the ugliest, meanest looking beast

"So typical," she sighed, frustrated but still smiling, "Everyone goes for the kittens. It's the special ones like this guy that they don't bother seeing. The kittens are just blank slates, no telling what their real personalities will be like. On the other hand, if you find a raw gem that's seen a lot..."

I couldn't resist... "Or in his case, maybe not." She grimaced and swatted at my chest. I liked it.

"How can you be so intelligent yet so close minded? When you found me you didn't turn me away because of my flaws. They might not be as visible as his but they're present all the same."

She had me and she knew it. And somehow the fact that she could open her heart to this hideously deformed creature just deepened my already strong feelings for her. I know I'm in dangerous territory here. Her ability to see the good in all creatures, even the monster that I am, is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing for this poor dilapidated cat and a curse for me... because as much as want to be with her, I know it can't happen. I won't be responsible for adding to her misery. Her inviting me in, only makes it that much harder.

Flashback

The sight of her small frame laid prone at my feet caused me physical pain, making each breath feel like a thousand knives stabbing me in the chest.

Tentatively, I knelt down beside her. "Please Bella, tell me how I can help? Do you need your medicine? I .. I could carry you to your room if you need.."

"No Edward, I'm fine." Her labored breath and whimpers of pain were obviously telling a different story. How could I be so reckless? She has a pain condition. She's been sexually and physically abused for years, and what do I do? Throw her up against a wall like a rag doll. I don't know if I should leave her alone, if my mere presence is threatening to her now. The sheer terror in her eyes I had seen was worse than anything even my most tortured patients had shown in any session.

"Do you want me to call someone? Emmett?" I shudder to think what he'll do to my ass once he sees her like this but I'll deserve all of it.

"God No! Please, I'm okay – I just need a minute to get my bearings. Not like it's your fault. It's been a while and I'm not... I guess I just can't do all the things I want to do."

Wait what? She wanted that? "You're not upset... with ME? I basically attacked you just now. You should be screaming my head off and calling the cops right now."

And just like Bella, she never responds how I expect... she looks up at me, her red puffy eyes sparkle with mischief and she smirks. "As I recall, it was me doing the attacking."

How can she be so calm?

"Don't look so flabbergasted, Cullen," Cullen? Where'd that come from? "I'm not the sweet frail angel you think I am. I know what I want." And just like that her fast turned sad, the spark in her eyes dulls but doesn't disappear. "I just can't always have what I want." With that she looks away, letting the curtain of hair fall forward, covering her face.

Slowly she was able to stand up on her own. I offered a hand but she simply slapped it away.

"You .. should probably put those groceries away. I'm going to take a bath."

Those were the last words she spoke to me that day. After her bath I brought a sandwich to her room that she ignored while crawling into bed. At dinner time I checked on her and she was still asleep, the sandwich laid untouched on her bedside table. I gave up and let her get some rest. The next morning she came downstairs and it was like the events of the prior day had not passed. I will eventually need to talk to her about this but for now I'll let her enjoy her new cat, which she's currently poking at through the grates of his carrier while we ride in silence back to our home.

As I pull into the driveway I notice an unfamiliar car parked on the street in front of the house. Strange, I wonder who would just drop by? Maybe someone from the hospital? A delivery? I looked over to the porch and saw a tall man with long dark blonde hair that's pulled back in a pony tail. He's leaning against one of the posts holding up the front porch and I notice he's eyeing Bella through the windshield. She is currently oblivious to the visitor, too busy cooing over her new cat.

I stepped out of the car and walked over to the visitor, feeling an odd sense of dread as I take in his cocky smirk and cold, ice blue stare. Bella's following behind me, still absorbed in her one sided conversation with the creature in the small crate she's carrying. I stop a few feet away from him and feel Bella slam into my back. Correction, I feel the crate hit my back and feel Bella's new cat push his paw through the slats and scratch my back.

The world stops and the sounds of the cat yowling disappear from focus when I hear the sharp intake of breath from behind me and my worse fear is realized in the one word Bella speaks.

"James!"

Dun Dun Dun!

Sorry – it's a cliffie. But I promise to be better about updating. Last week screwed me up and I'm starting to figure out I can't always post when I want to when life occasionally gets in the way.

Therefore, moving forward I'm going just try and post twice a week. I don't want to commit to specific days but I can at least post that often.

Please review! I'd love your thoughts and suggestions :)