Ch 10

AN: So the last chapter (heck the first 9 chapters for that matter) was kind of dark so I decided I need to lighten things up a bit... and what lightens things up more than a little citrusy goodness? Am I right?

Reviews are love and I seriously could use some love people! If you like the lemon let me know and hopefully there will be more in the near future.

Oh and I don't own jack … and if you're under 18 – then why are you even reading an M rated story – shoo!

EPOV

It's been two weeks since James' attacked Bella and I'm a total mess. When I'm not kicking my own ass for leaving her alone with that sick freak even for a minute, I'm imagining how I'll kick HIS ass whenever the cops find him. He's still on the loose and since the police can't constantly watch the house I've hired a team of body guards for Bella to watch the house both at night or whenever I'm not around.

Emmett is leaving a few days and tensions are high amongst all of us. He's upset about leaving Bella "alone" with James on the loose, despite my assurances of protecting her. Bella meanwhile thinks Emmett and I are both going overboard but I simply won't let her win this argument.

I nearly died when I heard that son of bitch screaming and ran out to see her prone form on the ground bleeding. I still don't know how James even survived the blow to the head I gave him with an aluminum baseball bat, let alone how he could have snuck away after that. Waiting in the hospital for her to wake up was a real life nightmare. When Emmett showed up I nearly lost it, not when he threatened to beat the crap out of me for letting her get hurt – no, that I would have welcomed. It was the sight of this very large, imposing man walking back from her room with red, empty eyes and tear streaked cheeks that did me in.

The doctors finally told us that she was actually very lucky. As bad as she looked, covered in bruises, she managed to escape the ordeal with just a minor concussion and two cracked ribs. The bruises have mostly faded now but her ribs will still need at least another week to heal before she can go back to work. Meanwhile, I decided to push back my start date so I could stay home and look after Bella during her recovery. With her condition, her immune system is weakened so there was a good chance it would be a longer, more arduous recovery than a person without Lupus.

The first few days after she got home Bella barely spoke a word. I think somehow she felt she'd brought this on herself. As a therapist, I don't specialize in domestic violence cases but I am familiar with the mindset of an abuse victim. Bella is so much stronger than most and it amazes me that she stayed with the bastard for so long. But what most people don't realize is that it's much more difficult to leave an abusive partner than one might think. James was obviously playing mind games with her and from what she's told me, he used drugs as well to control her and keep her from leaving. Fortunately now she's off the drugs and I have to practically force her to take so much as a Tylenol for the pain as she recovers.

After a while she started getting annoyed with me taking care of her. I know she wants to be independent and take care of herself but the woman deserves some pampering. Like right now, all I want to do is fix her some lunch and you'd think she'd be grateful, but...

"Damnit Edward! I'm not a toddler for god's sake I don't need my food cut into little itty bitty pieces. I don't need you to fix me food at all for that matter. I'm practically healed and you're treating me like a freaking invalid!"

We're in the kitchen, where I may or may not have carried her to her chair from her room upstairs. Okay so maybe I'm going a little overboard but seriously, what woman doesn't like to be worshiped like the goddess she is?

"This need to end now, Edward. I know you feel guilty for what happened but it was NOT your fault!"

"Wait, you think I'm doing this because I feel guilty?"

"Well, yeah. But it's not your fault James is an abusive prick. If anything it's my fault for being stupid enough to let him lose it like that..."

"Stop right there. We'll get back to how far off track you are about you having any role in your own injuries. First, you have to know, Bella, that I'm trying to help you, albeit perhaps a little too much, but I'm doing it because I care about you. We've gone over this. I hope you know that I really truly care for you and I will do everything in my power to take care of you in whatever way I can.

"Now I won't go into the fact that I was mistaken for not punching James in the face the moment I saw him... we won't go there. I will say that you were in no way at fault for him hurting you. No matter what you said or did, nothing could possibly make you 'deserve' to be hurt. You understand that, am I right?"

She looked down at her pre-cut chicken breast and nodded sadly, but then looked up through her lashes at me, "You really do care about me, don't you?"

"Don't you ever doubt that, Bella. I l- … like you very much." Shit, that's like the zillionth time I almost slipped. "Now your mangy cat on the other hand..." I looked at the one-eyed monster Bella lovingly refers to as "Cyclops" and scowled playfully to lighten the mood.

She huffed and smacked my arm in a fake show of anger. "Now don't you go off on my cat again. He's a sweetheart. He's just misunderstood."

"A likely story." In reality the cat has become Bella's closest bodyguard so for that I'm grateful. What I don't exactly like is that more often than not he's "protecting" Bella from me. If I so much as lay a finger on her in his presence the beast will scratch the living hell out of me.

She finished her meal quietly while I cleaned up the kitchen. I really need to watch my slip ups like that near miss. I'm fairly certain she didn't hear me whisper "I love you" when she was in the hospital but ever since then the words seem to want to roll off my tongue all the time. Ever since that kiss I've been thinking of those beautiful, delicious lips. Of course I royally screwed that up when I freaking hurt her. I know I don't deserve an angel like Bella but I can't help what my heart feels.

God I sound like a chick. Alice would laugh her ass off at me right now... if I was talking to her that is. I haven't called her in forever and I've been ignoring her calls. I just can't deal with her right now.

As for Bella, when I saw her in the hospital, all fragile and vulnerable, my heart broke in two. I knew then it was no longer a matter of "falling" I had plummeted head first in to love. I was so lost without her smile and those shining chocolate orbs I would've given my left foot to spare her a moment of pain.

Now I'm just caught in between loving her and wanting to do the right thing. What that is exactly I'm not quite sure. I know as a psychiatrist that neither of us are probably in the right frame of mind to start a relationship, but at the same time I know in my heart that I can't stay away from her for much longer. We both have sordid pasts and issues to deal with, her much more so than I but that doesn't mean I'm any less fucked up. I keep thinking, maybe I can convince her to go into therapy, and maybe I should talk to someone as well, and in time we could both be ready to start something.

Meanwhile my body wants her like... yesterday. Since we've been home together non stop the last two weeks I see her in various states of undress pretty much every day. I can't tell you how many times I've had to grab on to a doorway or a piece of furniture to keep from jumping her bones when she walks by in a sports bra and tiny little pajama shorts, with her hair all swept up and … ugh. I'm just making myself hard thinking about her.

She's of course oblivious to just how sexy and beautiful she is. If it was any other woman I'd think she was torturing me on purpose but with Bella I honestly think she has no clue. Once she walked by in a skimpy pajama outfit, tripped over thin air and landed face first into my lap. She then looked up at me through her lashes, cheeks alight with a fiery blush and her mouth only inches from my pulsing cock. It could've been a letter to Playboy it was so hot, but then she scrambled off my lap, laughing nervously at her clumsiness and went on her way like nothing happened. If it's even possible I think I used up all the cold water in the shower I took after that little incident.

Bella broke me away from my reverie when she brought her plate to the sink. "I'm washing my own damn plate, Edward so don't even try it." She may have sounded mad but I could see the corners of her mouth turning up. "And I'm walking myself upstairs so...there!" She lightly smacked my chest and I wondered briefly if she could tell how fast my heart was racing just from her nearness.

This woman is seriously going to be the death of me.

–

Later that night as I was settling down with a good book I thought I heard a noise coming from Bella's room across the hall. I know she hates asking for help but if she's hurting I want to know. At the very least I can bring her some Tylenol.

I decided I'd at least go check on her. As I got out into the hallway the noises became full on moans. Something is wrong. Maybe another nightmare. Every once in while I hear her crying out in her sleep. Things like "Stop James, No!" would drive a steak through my heart. But this wasn't her usual noises. She wasn't talking like she normally did in her sleep, but rather groaning. By the time I reached her door I heard Bella say something that got my immediate attention.

"Edward!"

Without thinking I barreled into her room, ready to save her from what pain, real or imaginary, she may be suffering. What I wasn't prepared for was the sight that greeted me.

A flush faced Bell lay naked on her bed above the covers. Her head against her propped up pillow, hair fanning out around her glowing face. My eyes trailed down her gloriously nude body, taking in each curve, the lovely pink hue of her hardened nipples, down to the dark curls nestled between her widely spread legs. Her left hand still digging into the bedspread while her right firm grasped what appeared to be some kind of vibrator, still buzzing softly against her pink, swollen bundle of nerves.

For a moment time stopped. I just stared into her frozen wide eyes, still dark with lust as I took in her panting form. Then just as quickly, time began to lurch forward, the shock finally wearing off. Her already pink cheeks turned impossibly red, even purple maybe. The vibrator was dropped as she fumbled with turning it off. It rolled along the carpeted floor and stopped a mere two feet from where I was standing. It wasn't until she started clutching the bedsheets around her to cover her nudity that I was able to move again.

"Stop, Bella." My voice sounded foreign to my ears. So much calmer than I actually felt and tinged heavily with lust. Like she was suddenly put into a trance she halted her movements completely, still staring at me with wide eyes. Fear and maybe just a little bit of excitement were the main emotions shining in those melted chocolate orbs.

I know I should leave, should walk away, take a cold shower and pretend like this never happen. I know that and yet I can feel myself slowly moving forward. My control is lost, some kind of animalistic need to touch her fills my being. I can't stay away a moment longer.

The toe of my shoe nudged the forgotten, and still buzzing vibrator and I reached down to pick it up. The scent of Bella's heady arousal making me impossibly harder, having already been hard as stone since I walked in the room. It was all I could not to instantly rip off my pajama pants and take her right then.

"Do you have any idea how incredibly beautiful you are, Bella?" She just continued to stare, apparently unable to talk or move, still entranced. "Where you just thinking of me while you were pleasuring yourself?" I think she made a minute nod. It's not like she could lie, I had the proof in my hand.

"Would you like some... assistance finishing your task?" Her eyes grew even wider and I saw her panting increase. Her hand, most likely without her realizing it, slowly inched it's way back to her slick folds. Almost shaking from pure arousal I moved closer still.

"I know how you hate asking for... help... but this really does seem like something I'd be better suited to … perform... than this...," I gestured to the buzzing massager in my hand, "toy."

Finally I reached the bed and tentatively I touched my finger tips to her bare leg. Her creamy white skin feeling as smooth and silky as it looked was slick with a light sheen of sweat. She moaned my name in response so I took that as a confirmation that she was on the same page as me.

"Now with your ribs still healing, we'll have to wait for any kind of rigorous activity." Trailing my finger up her inner thigh finally stopping at her pink swollen center, I smirked when she gasped softly in response. "But that doesn't mean I can't assist with your.. needs."

Entering her slowly with two fingers I watched her eyelids close halfway, her moans filled the room. "Now I'm curious," I pondered as I began pumping my fingers in and out of her core. "Which is preferable?" Taking the vibrator with my other hand I grazed her clit with the round, rapidly moving head. She screamed out in pleasure and I felt her inner muscles clutch my fingers. She's so close.

"Do you prefer the machine?" Again I quickly ran the vibrator over her clit and pulled it back, not letting her reach orgasm quite yet. "Or my hand?" I curled my fingers and sped my movements, her load moan making me nearly come right then. But then I stopped, pulling my fingers out. Her whine of frustration almost as adorable as the pouty look she was giving me.

"Or my mouth?" With that I leaned forward, hungrily attacking her sweet center.

"Oh my God, Edward! Please.."

I stopped for a moment and looked into her eyes. "What, Bella, tell me what you want?" My eyes telling her I meant more than just pleasuring her. I needed to know if she wants more.

"Please Edward," gasping for air she responded, "I just want you … whatever you'll give me. Just you." My heart warmed at the sound of her words and I know I must have been grinning like an idiot but I didn't care. I dipped my head again, this time wrapping my lips around her clit and sucking hard just as I pushed two fingers into her to the knuckles. The ache of my swollen cock almost unbearable at that point I started rubbing against the bed to find any sort of relief.

I continued sucking on her clit and thrusting my fingers into her as deep and hard as I could. Abandoning the vibrator all together, I used my now free hand to pinch and squeeze her previously forgotten nipples, alternating between the two.

"Edward, Fuck, so good... Ugh!" I sped my motions and took her clit between my teeth biting gently causing her to explode around my fingers. The feeling of her inner muscles spasming and the rush of orgasmic juices on my tongue set off my own release as I thrust frantically against the bed, my moans into her center causing her aftershocks of pleasure.

Finally I licked her clean and after using my hand to wipe my chin I trailed kisses up her stomach and chest until I was hovering over her, careful not to let any of my weight touch her injured ribs. She smiled lazily up at me, hair matted down with sweat, eyes heavy with fatigue. She looked thoroughly sated and I could not be more pleased.

"It's time for sleep, love." I smiled and moved over to lay next to her on my side facing her gorgeous body. She rolled over slowly, careful not to cause more injury to her tender ribs.

"Wouldn't you like me to return the favor?" However tired she looked, she was still grinning and eager to please. I need to assure her that's not why I did this. She's always been the one to help everyone else, even jerks like James that don't deserve her. It's time someone worshiped her with no expectations.

"No, love. As much as I would happily enjoy any touch you may grant me, you don't have to worry about me, I'm more than satisfied. But there is one thing you can do for me."

"Anything, Edward." She looked into my eyes, her expression suddenly serious and I knew she meant that with her whole heart.

"It's obvious there's something between us and it's not just sexual. I don't want to mess this up and even though I probably rushed things a bit just now, I won't ever regret a moment I get to be in your presence touching you. I know we both have our baggage and we certainly haven't started off in a traditional way, but I'd really like to try to do this right. I want a real relationship, Bella, not just roommates that occasionally hook up. I know we have hurdles we have to deal with but honestly I'd do anything if it meant I could be with you. Let's try this, let me take you on a real date." The second my little speech came to a close her lips were on mine and I was lost to total bliss. Too quickly she pulled away smiling and radiating joy.

"Yes Edward. Yes to everything and yes I would love to go on a date." I think the house could burn down and I'd still be lying there grinning at that moment. "Can you do something for me though?" She looked nervous and it was absolutely adorable. How can she think I'd refuse her anything? "Will you sleep in here with me tonight and just.. hold me?"

Instantly but with a great deal of caution regarding her injuries I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her head to rest on my chest. "Nothing could possibly tear me from this bed, Bella. You're stuck with me now."

"Good," was her only response before we both drifted off to sleep.

–

So? Seriously – my first ever lemon people! Okay so not a full official lemon since they haven't rounded home yet but third base is close enough, right? Did you like it? Any thoughts – about anything?

Review this pretty pretty please!