AN – I'd hoped to get this out before today but hey, at least it's a longer chapter than usual! I want to thank allmy reviewers... you do indeed rock. A special 'thanks for your feedback' to cullengirl08 and lurock35. I'm going to do what I can to make sure your suggestions get fulfilled. Plus, thank you PatchsFallenAngel for your continued support :)

I don't own Twilight but then again, who can own a time of day?

Ch 12

BPOV

"Alice?"

Edward has gone pale and suddenly looks like he's going to hurl. But isn't Alice his sister? She certainly looked harmless enough, barely five feet tall and elfish with her short spiky black hair and fine features. She looked more likely to sport a wand and grant wishes than to harbor ill will.

I opened the car door and Edward came out as well. In a flash he was beside me and it seemed like he was trying to keep Alice and I apart. What is he so embarrassed of me he doesn't want me to meet his family?

Suddenly her chirpy sing-song voice broke through my thoughts. "Edward, what the hell! I've been trying to reach you for weeks. You didn't even let any of know you'd made it to Richmond safely. For all we knew you could've been in a ditch somewhere in Indiana!" Wait... he hasn't ever called his family since he arrived? I couldn't resist feeling irrationally angry at him for this. Even if he's not getting along with them they're still his family! If my parents were still around...

"Alice, I'm sorry. I've been busy. I met Bella here and -" WHAT?

"Don't you try to pin this on me! Somehow I don't recall locking you in the basement and denying you phone privileges." At this point I don't know if I'm more pissed about him not calling his family or blaming me for it. "I never asked for a babysitter and hmm... what were we just talking about ten minutes ago? Oh yeah, me urging you to talk to your sister!"

"I'm sorry, love. You're right, I should've called. I just... there's things in my past that are... complicated."

"HA! Complicated, Edward? Really! You think I don't understand what it's like having baggage? I have more baggage than Paris freaking Hilton!"

Alice finally broke in by giggling. Really? Giggling?

"You two are so adorable! Edward, I get it. You wanted to move forward without having to think about … what happened... and Mom, Dad, and I remind you of that. Then you've got Bella here who by the way I love." She looked at me then. "I have a hunch we're going to get along well, girlie."

Wait... what happened? What was she talking about? Edward had just made it seem like he was looking for a change from big city life. When he said "complicated" I figured he was just being overly dramatic about overbearing parents or something like that.

Edward's eyes shot to mine and he knew I heard Alice. His grew wide with fear as mind narrowed in frustration and curiosity. Somehow Alice seemed to pick up on this so she spoke up again.

"Did you not tell her, you dope?"

"Why don't we take this conversation inside, I'm sure the neighbors aren't eager to hear all this and Bella might be tired." I seriously wanted to smack him for saying that but he was unfortunately correct. Walking is okay but standing for long periods can cause my joints to swell and be really painful. Couldn't help huffing and stomping past him anyway. I made it to the door first and unlocked it. When I held the door for Alice she arched an eyebrow at me. Of course, she had no idea I'd moved in with Edward. That made me think... where's she going to sleep? He only had one "guest room" which was currently my abode. I suppose we could give her Edward's bed and he could sleep... on the couch. No freaking way he's getting nooky tonight.

Once everyone was settled on the couch and chair, and I made sure to sit as far from Edward as possible, Edward began telling his "complicated" story.

"In Chicago I had a patient, Jane, a young girl in her late teens. She developed something of an amorous obsession..."

"Cut the shrink talk, brother, she had a crush on you."

My gasp was barely audible but Edward heard it. He didn't? No, he couldn't possibly... could he?

"NO! It's not what you think. I would never take advantage of a patient like that or a girl of her age for that matter. When she informed me of her 'crush,'" he looked at Alice pointedly, "I handled the matter professionally and tried my best to soften the blow, but that only seemed to make it worse. Sometimes I wonder, I'd only been more harsh in the beginning..."

"Edward, what happened?" If he didn't, take her up on the offer, than what could have happened that was so horrible he left his whole life behind and moved halfway across the country?

He stood and began pacing, tugging at his hair anxiously. "She wasn't convinced. When I 'softened the blow' I told her she was a lovely young girl and would someday find the right boy for her. She took this the wrong way of course. So no matter what I said after that she only got worse."

"Are we talking boiled rabbits?"

Now Alice joined in on the tale. "She came by the house a few times, always visited when Edward was working. I had no idea she was his patient, plus she said her name was Heidi so telling Edward about her didn't raise any flags. I probably should have figured it out." She was sadly looking down at her hands.

"It's not your fault, Alice, you'd couldn't have known," Edward responded, putting his hand on her shoulder. She settled her hand on his.

"You mean just like it's not yours?" was her retort. Edward just shook his head in frustration and resumed his pacing. Alice returned to her story.

"So yeah, she would come by saying she lived in the neighborhood and needed to borrow a cup of sugar, that kind of thing. We became friends, well as close as a woman in her early 30's can be friends with a teenager. Sometimes the subject of Edward would come up, she was always very curious. One time I found her in his room."

"She stole my favorite shirt."

"Shush Edward, I'm telling this part! Anyway, I saw her trying to steal his shirt and called her on it. She claimed she was cold but it was a warm day. Whatever, I fell for it at the time because she seemed really sweet. I never saw her again after that."

"Now can I finish?" As horrible as this story sounded, it was amusing watching Alice and Edward's exchange. You could see that even when they were irritated their was an unconditional bond between them. It made me smile internally to know that Edward had Alice like I have my Emmett. Quickly I returned my attention before I could dwell on the fact that I'd just seen Emmett for the last time in a while.

"So the next day at work I came in early, before my receptionist. It was my own practice, so just Gianna and me worked there. You can imagine my surprise then when I saw the door was unlocked. I walked in find Jane on my desk wearing nothing but my shirt."

Holy crap!

"I had to be blunt at that point. It was obvious the nice approach hadn't worked. She became enraged... throwing things, screaming. By this point, other patients were in the waiting area and Gianna had arrived. She decided to do what she could to ruin my career as retribution. Running out in her semi-nude state, crying about how I'd taken advantage of her."

"Oh Edward! But obviously she wasn't successful, I mean not totally. The authorities must have known she wasn't really telling the truth. You still have your license and everything."

"She never got as far as suing me. I suppose I have that to be thankful for but I'm not sure I really feel that grateful due to the cost."

Cost? What he paid her off?

"The cost of Jane's life," he replied in response to my quizzical look. Of course this only made me more confused. "Later the same day, after the 'shirt fiasco' she returned to my office... with a gun."

No! Now I'm standing, walking over to Edward as if to look for bullet wounds.

"She started waiving it around at Gianna and the other patients. I was able to calm her enough to meet with me for an 'emergency session' as I called it. In reality I just wanted to separate her so she'd do less harm. After a while she began to calm down and looked – resigned. At that point I asked her to hand over the gun. She lifted it, and before I could realize what was she was doing she put it to her temple and pressed the trigger."

I looked into Edward's eyes and they were full of fear and regret. How could he possibly feel guilty? She was just a sick young girl. You can't save everybody. A chill ran through me as I began to make sense of all of this ... the cliff's edge... him asking me to move in... even the 'relationship' he was talking about. It's all stemming from this guilt. He couldn't return Jane's feelings so he couldn't save her, but he can make up for it with me. I'm his penance.

Of course! It would never make sense for him to be with me otherwise. Why would a gorgeous doctor give a rat's tail about a poor sickly plain-looking girl. Just like James wanted me to control me, Edward wants me his own personal reasons, none of which have anything to do with actually caring for me.

No Bella, don't think that – you felt that connection with him. Last night he said and did so many nice things.

But so did James in the beginning. No one is better at sweet talking than him.

The room started spinning and I think I heard someone yell my name before the darkness took me.

–

A buzzing noise wakes me. A text message alert on my phone. I look around and see I'm in my room but I don't remember how I got here.

So I reached for the phone on my bedside table. It's Garrett. God it's been forever since he's called.

What's up buttercup?

Flirty bastard. Ah well, I still love him. He is my best friend after all, even if he's a huge dork. I decided to call him rather than text. I miss his voice.

"Isabella Swan!" He answers like that every time I call. Thankfully it's the only time he uses my full name. I thoroughly despise being called Isabella.

"Garrett Myers!" I responded with as much enthusiasm. He's so silly I can't help but be amused by his antics. "How are you stranger?"

"Ah Bella, you know how it is. The old ball in chain keeps me busy." In the background I could hear a shout.

"You better watch out Garrett, it doesn't sound like Kate's too thrilled with your 'endearment.'"

"Don't worry about her... I keep my woman sat-is-fied. She's a happy camper." Now I could hear laughing coming from Kate. I couldn't help but join in. One of my favorite past times is laughing at Garrett.

"Sure ya do, Garrett. So what's going on up in the big apple?"

"We just got back from the Sun Festival." I shivered at the sound of that name. The Sun Festival was an annual musical gathering in upstate New York, managed and organized by the oh-so-famous James. That would explain why the cops couldn't find him. He was probably hiding out on his friend's land where the festival takes place.

"Oh, how was that?" I tried to seem nonchalant. Garrett never knew the whole story about James and thus is still on relatively friendly terms with him. Not like they're buddies or anything, but he wouldn't think about missing an event organized by James. I don't blame him. James is a big time organizer in the party scene. It's pretty much impossible to avoid him if you're a partygoer.

"Crazy drama … James never showed! He's been MIA for a couple weeks. Rumor has it the cops are trying to bust him for being some kind of drug king pin." Great, to the scenesters this is a sympathetic plight. Everyone has some kind of involvement in drugs whether it's using or selling, so when someone gets caught there's this 'poor guy' sentiment in the crowd, like the person contracted an illness or is down on his luck. However there is also a lot of fear and paranoia among the party people. They'll feel sorry for him but they'll also avoid him like a pariah. So that is somewhat comforting.

"What happened with the festival then, if he wasn't there?"

"It was a total disaster! The main sound system was shut down due to noise complaints, since James wasn't there to charm the neighbors. It ended up being just a boom box and CD's. All the live acts they flew in were just stuck there doing nothing. Most people left after the first night."

I couldn't suppress my grin at James' failure. "Oh that's too bad." I didn't even try to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"Yeah I know – not a big James fan. Well, you'll be happy to know then that everyone is majorly pissed at him. The guys managing the festival had to give away all the food for free to stop folks from rioting. Even with that most of the deco was destroyed." Good... he lost money and took a major hit to his reputation. Sweet.

"And Victoria... I can talk to you about her right? You're not going to get all crazy jealous?" HA! If I feel anything for that girl it's pity.

"It's fine, Garrett – what happened to Vicky?" Victoria and I had been friends at one point. I'm fairly certain he only chose to screw around with her to get back at me.

"She's moved back to Philadelphia with Angela and Ben. I saw her at the festival and everyone was of course asking her about James. After like the fiftieth person asked she went ballistic! She's actually the one responsible for most of the deco getting trashed.. and part of the sound system. We couldn't make out half of what she was screaming but what I could hear was just a bunch of slams on James. She's not a happy camper. Whatever's happened to him, it's not good. After Suck Fest, as people are now calling it, he might not want to show his face again."

"Really? That bad?" That's saying a lot... surely one flub wouldn't cause his fall from grace. He's the king of the party scene.

"It was pretty bad. Angela, Ben, Mike, Tyler, and those guys from his production crew... they are really pissed. They said they had enough of his bullshit and that he's been acting sketchy for a while now. We'll see."

"Yeah, I guess we will." I could feel a happy glow knowing James might have lost his 'crown' among our friends. The friends that abandoned me when he told them lies about me. I had been pissed about that but now I know how petty those people must be. At least it looks like karma is rearing it's head for James. Now the cops just need to track him down so he can't hurt me anymore. That made me think of something.

"Garrett, would you do me a favor? Would you give me a heads up if you hear word about where James might be." I realized that must sound strange so I covered my tracks. "I have some CD's of his that ended up in my stuff. I want to give them back."

"Okay, sure Bella, anything for my girl."

"Yeah Garrett, keep up that sweet talk. I'm sure Kate enjoys hearing it." I laughed. Kate knew he was a silly flirt and that it was harmless.

"Speaking of the lady, there's something I need to... take care of.." I could hear a moan in the background now... Ew!

"Gross! Get off the phone you freak!"

"Later babe, take care."

"Sure sure, now go before I hurl!"

We hung up and I started thinking more about James, and about the events of the last couple days. I felt numb thinking about that look of guilt in Edward's eyes. Did he really have feelings for me or is 'putting up with me' as James used to say all apart of Edward's punishment for what happened with Jane?

My mind is telling me to distance myself but my heart is breaking at the thought. Maybe I can just pretend he cares?

Suddenly a piano's keys broke my train of thought. Edward must be playing. I've never heard him play before. I decided to sneak downstairs without him knowing so I can hear better.

As I reached the end of the stairwell I could clearly hear him beginning to sing on the other side of the wall. If I moved even a few inches he'd be able to see me. There was no sight of Alice in the living room. She must have gone out for a while or is in Edward's room.

I recognize the song he's playing. It's a Ben Folds song, called "The Luckiest". His fingers danced across the keys beautifully and it was impossible not to hear the depth of emotion in his velvet voice.

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

My heart swelled at the sound of the lyrics. The notes, full of sweetness and longing, drew me closer to him. This is not the song of a man who's just using a girl for his own guilt. There's no cocky smirk, no facade here. His emotions are raw and reaching out for me.

I walked softly behind him, he was still unaware of my presence. As he continued the song I saw his head hanging forward slightly, his eyes are closed and there's a sense of utter peace in his features.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

With that I couldn't resist the draw a moment longer. I moved forward, sitting next to Edward. When he first saw me he jumped slightly but kept playing as I joined in on the final chorus.

… I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

We sat silently staring for a moment and I felt like I was seeing Edward's soul. Much like he'd walked in on me, finding me naked. I'd found him naked but instead of an absence of clothes, it was an absence of the constant wall he held up.

"Bella." He whispered, silently begging me with his eyes to understand the sentiment of his song. He shook a bit, like he desperately wanted to reach out to me and was actively trying to hold himself back.

My hand moved softly to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes closed and he leaned into my touch. There's no going back now. He may hurt me but somewhere in my heart I know that's not going to happen. I leaned forward until my lips were almost touching his and whispered, "The feeling's mutual."

His lips didn't crash to mine like I'd expected. His kiss was soft and tender, loving. His arms wrapped around me gently, but I felt a surge of energy at all points where our skin connected. My hands moved to entwine in his hair as he deepened the kiss. No dominance was fought by our tongues, only a slow, gentle dance. If I could I'd stay in this moment for the rest of my existence. I've never felt so... complete.

–

AN: The song, as mentioned was by Ben Folds and called "The Luckiest" you can listen to it by going to www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v=f9bRmuP-kQY

Yes I know you want more lemony goodness but a lot needed to happen before I can work in another lemon. Don't worry, next chapter we'll be fast forwarding a bit - Bella will have healed ribs and plenty of energy... that's all I'm saying :)

Keep the reviews a-comin'! I need them like Bella needs air after sucking face with Edward for so long. As always, your suggestions are greatly appreciated.