I stared up at the sky, and saw Jake's face in every cloud. He was on life support, and I was a wreck more so than I had ever been. I was so afraid, after seeing him in that state. He had a hole in his stomach, and I didn't know if he would make it. I was so scared that the love of my life would leave me, die on me, and I knew that if he didn't make it, neither would I.
My mind was so unstable, my mental health constantly on the line, and this wasn't making it any better. I was a self induced insomniac, because of the nightmares I have of the past. I just didn't know what would happen if I slept. If a nightmare was bad enough I could slip into a state of depression for who knows how long. The last time, I was on 24 hour watch for 3 months to make sure I wouldn't try to commit suicide. It was like I was in Whelan Springs, a well known suicide recovery home, where a few of my oldest friends have had to go.
"Jake…why? WHY HIM? I WANNA KNOW DAMMIT!" I screamed up to the sky, tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. A white light covered my body, as I focused on where I wanted to go, and I spinned, twirling up into the sky.
"Ms. Rinelle, to what do we owe this pleasure?" One of the cloaked figures smiled, their mouths the only thing showing, besides their hands. It was a man's voice, one witch of the Powers That Be. I glared at him as a response, and one of the ladies cleared her throat.
"Ms. Rinelle, what can we do for you?" she was elderly, or so it seemed, and had a kind nurturing aura to her.
"I want you to make sure Jacob Black doesn't die. I don't give a shit whether it's not in your regular favors you do, I want it done, and considering who I am and what I can do to tip the balance toward evil, you better fucking do it." I demanded, and my hair whipped around me before I got myself calmed down.
"I'm sorry but we can't do-"
"We have to Elise"
"Rick we can't just-"
"Elise, this is serious"
"Elga? You too?"
"We all side with her, Elise"
"But Gabreal!"
"Elise, this is the final decision. Ms. Rinelle, we will do it for you, but we will not do it without a price."
"Whatever, I don't care"
"Alright then, when you die the devil gets your soul"
"What!"
It had been four days since Kayla had gone missing. No one would tell Jake when he was awake, and it was hard not to let him hear their conversations. Everyone was worried, but somehow none of them did anything. It was almost as if they knew she was alright.
"Do you think she's okay" Paul finally dared to ask the question they all dreaded, but knew that it would arise.
"Yes, I'm sure she is" Sam replied with no smile, not convincing anyone, not even himself.
"Sam, damn it, what the hell are we doing? Nothing, that's what we're doing and it's not helping to find Kayla!" Paul exploded, smashing his fist on the counter, and cracking it slightly. Sam roughly pushed him against the wall, anger controlling his movements, and got in Paul's face.
"What the hell do YOU think we should do? Go on a wild fucking goose chase! She's like a daughter to me, and this isn't affecting just you! It's affecting us all, and you're too stupid to realize it! Emily cries everyday worrying about Kayla, and there's not a damn thing I can do!" Sam let him go and walked to the corner of the room, facing the wall. "I'm worried to, but we can't just scream and throw a fit. We have to wait, and trust that she'll be okay"
Paul knew he was right, so he went up to Sam and put his hand on his shoulder. "I understand that now. She'll be fine" and with that being probably the only time Paul will ever be emotional, he cried a bit.
"It'll be okay"
"I hope so, for your sake, and for mine"
I stepped through the front door, and saw everyone staring at me.
"Miss me much?" and in seconds, I was on the ground, all the guys hugging me, creating a dog pile. I laughed, or tried to, and then spoke.
"Get the hell off me…you way a fucking ton!" I gasped and then was pulled up off my feet by none other than…
Paul!
"Hey! Paulie want a cracker?" he crushed me in a hug, and then I got the same thing from Sam.
"Alright" they sat me down, "Where the HELL were you?" Sam asked, and I laughed.
"Saving Jake's ass. I went to the Powers That Be, and demanded they fix my boyfriend. So they did" I said, not wanting to explain the rest.
"Why the hell were you missing for FIVE DAYS?" Paul yelled, and Jake walked in.
"You were WHAT?" He was wide eyed.
"Ummmm…heh…Thanks a lot Paul!" I scolded Paul, whispering.
"Well I'm sorry for asking a friken question" he whispered back.
"What the hell happened? Kay" he warned and I shrugged, with a innocent look on my face.
"Nooooothing…heh heh" I sighed and dropped my head defeated. "Shit, I am in so much trouble"
"Your damn right you are"
"Crap"
After explaining the whole thing, Jake hasn't talked to me in weeks. My stomach hurts really bad, especially when I think about the whole thing. It's almost been a month now, and I couldn't take it, but I knew that it would only make him mad if I tried to apologize. I already had and the outcome was pretty bad…
Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jake…I'm really sorry…I know I shouldn't have and-" he looked back at me, shooting me a steely glare.
"I don't give a damn if you're sorry, you still did that"
"For YOU! To save YOU! Because I love YOU" I cried. "I'm not Bella, sure, but so what? She loves another man, and you still went for her! You still love her, but I don't complain!"
"You don't know a damn thing!"
"Yes I fucking do, YOU don't god damn it Jake just accept my apology!" He growled and phased, lashing out at me. I got four long scrapes down my middle, and I stared at him, sadness in my body.
"I still love you Jake…even now, me bleeding…I forgive you for this…but why did you do it?" I asked, and closed my eyes.
End**********************
I gingerly touched my stomach, and looked out of the window. It healed already, and there are just scars, but not just on my body. Scars on my heart, because when he didn't apologize, it tore me up.
"Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass before you know it you're frozen
But something happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground, found something true
And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy
But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater than the rush
That comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness I see your face
Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe
But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh, they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see
I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love" I sang, and heard clapping. I saw Jake, and tears formed.
"I'm sorry" we both said in unison, and laughed.
"Will you forgive me?" he asked.
"I already have" and I ran into his arms.
"Never, ever let me think that you hate me again."
"Never, ever sell your soul again"
"Don't think I could, and I wouldn't…ever" We kissed and I felt all the emotions the both of us had been feeling. After a few minutes we needed to breath, crap, and I grinned at him.
"It's my birthday today" I whispered.
"Yes it is, Happy Birthday babe" he whispered, his voice husky.
"You know what I want?"
"What"
"You…all of you" I said, and put on my sexy grin. He laughed, and I could have melted right there. We started to make out again, this time it screamed: lust, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
We busted through the door to my room and I smiled.
"How'd you know I like sex on my bed?"
"Most girls do" I laughed at that, and kissed him.
"I love you Jake"
"I love you too"
No one could sleep, except Billy and Sam, thank GOD, and we had fun that night. Lots of fun…
;)