Ch 13

AN: Thanks all for the love / reviews / etc. I hope you like this chapter. It's a teeny bit behind schedule but it's also longer than usual so that's a bonus.

I probably won't be able to post on Saturday since I'm traveling this weekend but hopefully I will be able to post on Sunday or Monday at the latest. Have a great holiday!

Twilight's not mine, but fun to play with

EPOV

I could spend eternity like this. My arms wrapped around Bella's delicate frame, my lips moving in harmony with hers. She had just come down and caught me in quite a state. Ever since I first met Bella I felt my hard outer shell begin to crumble.

Being in my profession, I've found it hard to develop relationships of any kind, even friendships. Knowing what I do about how the mind works opens has made it exceedingly difficult to get close to anyone. When I attempt it I soon find the rotten core beneath the beautiful facade and it's quite sickening. Strangely I never feel that way about my patients. For them I'm happy to delve into the depths of their psyche, to find any lurking shadows and shed light on their troubles. However, in a friendly context I wish sometimes I could turn off this gift and just... be. That hasn't happened in the longest time and until Bella I thought it may never happen again.

In truth I've never seen Bella as a patient or as a friend but as some entirely different category which I can't quite describe. With her I am happy to unveil what I she'll reveal to me of her thoughts but at the same time I'm constantly surprised by what I find. The most pleasant of those surprises is that she seems to care for me as I do her.

How do I care for her exactly?

She is the first thing I think of when I wake and the last vision behind my closed lids as I fall asleep. Her eyes, her hair, her lavender and vanilla scent all send my heart racing, but it's her selfless and genuine nature that truly call me to her. When I caught James hurting her I felt like my heart had left my chest and all that was there was and aching empty hole.

Last night, and really up until right now I was certain I'd lost any hope of ever winning Bella's affection. I knew I'd have to tell her about Jane eventually but I'd hoped I could put it off until Bella knew me a little better. If only I was a mind reader and could know what had been going through her mind before her collapse. She looked so frightened, even shivering in fear at the thought of what could have happened. Then her eyes grew wide and she seemed to cower in front of me. Could she possibly think I'd hurt her in some way? Next she took on a cold stare and seemed... resigned... like she was giving up. Was she closing herself off from me? When she finally swayed I caught her quickly in my arms and carried her to her room. I knew she was already exhausted even before Alice's arrival, and I'm sure Jane's story only wore her out more.

I'd been desperate to see her this morning, to make sure she was alright, but Alice convinced me to give her some space. Alice may not be my all-time favorite person right now but I know better than to bet against her. She ran out to pick up some breakfast from the nearby diner since I was in no mood to cook. Since last night and reliving the horrors that had happen to cause my running away I'd been a mess emotionally. Whenever I felt out of sorts I turned to my trusty piano. There's a reason why so many people find art and music therapy a successful form of treatment.

As I stroked the keys I was lost to the melody and the raw feeling those lyrics instilled in me. They may be simple but the feeling behind them was entirely new and, if I'm being honest, terrifying. I've never felt so exposed as I did when I saw Bella's teary eyes when she sat down beside me. Warmth filled my body when she began to sing with me. The look in her eyes, the timbre of her voice, her stunning smile all spoke to me the words I knew neither of us were quite ready to say out loud.

That brings me back to the present, as my hands are rubbing Bella's back and curling into her hair, the need for air became to great so I moved to kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear. Feeling her hands move to my head, scratching my scalp and tangling in my messy hair nearly caused me to come undone.

Sadly our bubble popped at the sound of Alice's high pitched giggles.

"You two are soooo cute! I can't wait to tell Mom and Dad!" With that she skipped off to the kitchen, shouting over her shoulder, "Come quick before breakfast gets cold, lovebirds!"

The blush spreading across Bella's cheeks and neck entranced me while I attempted to will away the evidence of my desire for this beautiful woman in front of me.

"Shall we?" I offered my hand and we followed after my sister. I know we'll need to talk about my past again and I am anxious to hear Bella's thoughts, but for now I'd rather focus on the present and bask in the moment we just shared.

–

Over breakfast Alice regaled us with her encounter at the diner.

"He's the man of my dreams, I just know it." She apparently met some guy and was so convinced he was the love of her life she practically told him that before even introducing herself. What can I say? Alice is a character. I'd offer her my services or just drive her to the nearest mental health facility but the funny thing about Alice is that when she comes up with these wild presumptions the tend to work out. Go figure.

Even so I was having a hard time believing anyone could know that quickly that they were in love. Although, with Bella I did feel very protective of her from the start. No, this is not the same.

Bella was amused by the whole thing. Of course since she doesn't know this is typical for Alice, I'm sure she thinks Alice is exaggerating. If only that were true.

"So you just walked up to him and said 'I've been waiting for you.'? What did he say in response?"

Alice giggled. "He just said 'Sorry ma'am' in the most adorable southern gentleman-type way. Then we had coffee together while I waited for the food to come out. I gave him my number. Ooh.. I hope he calls soon!" She was looking at her phone like she expected it to ring any moment.

What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't pull the protective card here? Not a very good one I'm sure. Of course, I've been lacking in the brother department since all the drama in Chicago went down but I know I need to get past that and move on.

"So what's this guy's name Alice?" I'm totally googling this guy and hopefully he's not wanted for murder in ten states.

"Um..." she set down her phone and looked at her hands, "we kinda skipped over that part." Then she looked up at me innocently and smiled.

"What the hell Alice! You give some dude your number and don't even ask him his name? He could be a freaking serial killer for all you know?"

"Whatever Edward! I may not know his name but I know he's perfect for me. Haven't you ever felt that before? Like no matter what a person does you'll always be enamored." She pointedly looked at me then moved her eyes to Bella and back. She's a smart cookie.

Right then a phone started ringing we all looked at Alice's phone, expecting Mr. What-his-face to be calling but it turned out to be coming from my pocket. I reached for my phone and saw it was my new boss. I walked into the other room so I could take the call in relative quiet.

"Edward Cullen"

"Dr. Cullen, sorry to bother you today. I know you're not scheduled to start until Monday but I have some paperwork I need you to fill out today if possible. Do you think you could swing by my office this morning?"

"Sure, no problem. I'll head over in a few minutes."

"Great, see you then."

I headed back into the kitchen to see Alice and Bella whispering and giggling together like best friends. It made me smile seeing Bella so at ease with my sister. I know Bella hasn't made a lot of friends here in Richmond since she's moved. I hope Alice can stick around for awhile so they can spend some time together. Maybe Alice will help Bella come out of her shell a little more.

"Turns out I need to swing by the hospital to fill out some paperwork. Would you ladies like to come with me? Then afterward we can go out somewhere fun." Alice immediately lit up but Bella seemed hesitant.

"Oh yay! I was just telling Bella how we need to check out that cool outdoor mall down the street. Once we finish with your errand we can go shopping!" Ah now I know why Bella has that look of fear in her eyes.

"Alice, I'm not sure Bella is up for your style of shopping. She's not a big fan of long extensive shopping trips." Neither of us had discussed Bella's condition with Alice so I wasn't going to say that a normal Alice-style shopping trip would put Bella in the hospital. That may be a slight exaggeration but not that far from the truth. She definitely needs exercise to keep her healthy, but maybe not an 8 hour trek around the mall.

Bella took in Alice's pouty face and caved. "It's okay Alice. We can go to the mall but maybe just for a little while." I'm going to need to watch them carefully to make sure Alice doesn't try to over do it but if I have to I will tell her about Bella's health. I'm not going to let anything, including my sister, harm Bella.

"Alright guys, let's head out." So we cleaned up the remains from breakfast and headed over to the hospital. I had yet to tour the facility since I arrived so it took a bit of meandering to find the right department. Bella and Alice had tagged along since they were both curious of where I'd be working. I was very uncomfortable when I caught two bottle blonds leering in my direction. They were obviously nurses in my department so I would be working with them. I only hope they get the picture that I'm spoken for. The thought caused me to almost involuntarily wrap my arm around Bella's waist. It may be unprofessional but I wasn't going to let these girls think for one minute that they stood a chance with me. At the sight of my arm around Bella they both huffed and walked off. Good, hopefully that worked.

"Dr. Cullen, nice to meet you in person finally." The blond man in front of me smiled and offered me his hand. I shook it and smiled, happy to feel so at ease with my boss from the start. He'd always made me feel very relaxed when we talked on the phone. After running my own practice I'd been hesitant about working for a hospital, but I could tell this guy was good at what he did.

"Likewise, I'd like you to meet Miss Isabella Swan and my sister, Alice Cullen. He smiled and shook Bella's hand but when his eyes took in Alice they suddenly grew wide, his smile widening. Okay, that's kind of weird. "Ladies, this is Dr. Jasper Whitlock, he's the Psychiatry Department Chairman."

Alice's whole face was glowing so brightly I half expected her to burst into flame. Both Dr. Whitlock and Alice were staring at each other like they'd suddenly found their long lost love. It made me think of this 'love of her life' guy that she just met... wait a minute. No... it couldn't be.

"Alice, is this... is he?" Neither of them broke their stare as she nodded slowly in response. She knew what I was asking. I can freaking believe it! My sister's in town one day and she meets and subsequently falls in love with my boss? This could either be good or really really bad. I looked over at Bella to get her opinion as it was obvious the love birds were going to quit their staring contest anytime soon.

Bella was grinning widely and had a bit of a far off look in her eyes. I nudged her gently to get her attention. She leaned over and whispered, "I think maybe we should give these two some alone time." She winked and pulled on my sleeve while backing away slowly. Well I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If this means alone time with Bella, then I'm all for it.

"Dr. Whitlock, I'll be back this afternoon and we can take care of that paperwork. Alice if you need a ride or anything, just give me a call." They both had somehow gotten much closer to each other since the staring thing began and something tells me I don't want to be here when the actually are touching. Their joint response was just to nod slightly without breaking their trance. Well at least the guy's not a serial killer, but I'm still a bit worried for Alice. She's living in Chicago and he's in Richmond. She's known him for less than a day and they're acting like love struck fools. My heart goes out to them but my head can't help but worry.

Once Bella and I made it to the car she started to laugh loudly and I couldn't help but join her. It was pretty funny.

"Your sister... and your BOSS!" She squeaked out between chuckles.

That sobered me up a little. "Yeah I just hope it works out. I mean, I know better than to bet against Alice, but really how could that work? She lives in Chicago for heaven sakes!"

"You never know what might happen. Not too long ago if someone had told me I'd be living with a gorgeous shrink and actually happy I'd have laughed in their face." She beamed.

"Oh I'm gorgeous am I?" I smirked, feeling playful. She just nodded bashfully, her cheeks glowing red. "So you want to blow this popsicle stand?" She nodded again, this time looking more excited than bashful. "Great, I know just the place."

I drove us back home and I'm sure Bella was thinking I didn't have any other place to take her but she was mistaken. I'd found this great meadow when I was jogging along the path in the woods behind our house.

When we got out of the car I took Bella's hand in mine, happy just to have her close to me. I slowly led her around the house and to the path. She lit up when she realized where we were going, or at least that we were doing something more interesting than watching TV. When we came upon the meadow she gasped softly at the sight. The fresh green grass dotted with wildflowers blew gently in the breeze and was so inviting.

"I found this place not too long ago and I've been wanting to take you here. Then you were out of commission of a while so I was afraid to overtax you … anyway I think we both needed a little break from that house." She just smiled and settled down in the grass, taking in her surroundings.

"It's so beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

Now for the hard part. I sat down next to her and took her hand again.

"Bella, I know we both have sordid pasts, but right now I don't want us to dwell on that. I'd like to think about the present... and maybe a little bit of the future."

"Yeah, you're right. It's just that... when I heard your story last night all I could think was..." she trailed off, looking at some far off non-existent point in the tree line.

"What is it, Bella? You can tell me."

"I thought maybe you just took the time on me because you felt guilty about Jane. Like I'm some kind of 'do over' for her. I'm nothing special. Why else would you bother with me? And... I just... I don't want to be hurt again." She looked in my eyes and I could see all the pain and fear in them. This is a woman who has been hurt by someone she thought loved her. It's natural for her to be fearful of a new relationship but I can't help but feel the burn of rejection from her thinking I could possibly hurt her.

"Bella I would never... no... I could never hurt you. It's not a possibility. I want to be with you because of who you are, not because of where you were when we met, both physically and emotionally. Jane was a sick girl and as much as it's hard for me to admit, and as much as I wish I could have done more, what happened really wasn't my fault."

She looked hesitant so I continued. "You are my life now. Don't ever doubt that."

"Edward, I'm sorry. When I heard you playing it was like I could feel your emotions. I know you're nothing like him. Just sometimes.."

I broke her sentence with a kiss. "Bella it's okay. I understand, really I do. The only way I can earn your trust is over time. Just give me a chance... give this a chance." I said while motioning between us.

"Okay." She kissed me back with a fiery passion. I couldn't resist touching her, so my hands slowly moved to her face. I moved to caress her neck and collarbone while our tongues continued to dance. She sucked on my lower lip and I couldn't stop the low groan I emitted. My lips traveled to her neck, following the path of my hands which were now at her waist.

Tentatively, my thumbs brushed the bottom edge of her breasts and she pushed into them, inviting further exploration. I nibbled my way back up her neck as my hands palmed her soft flesh. Her hardened peaks rubbed against my palms and she let loose a loud moan. My already straining pants became tighter.

As much as I was enjoying this, I know her ribs are still healing. "Bella we need to stop... you're ribs."

"Ugh... no. Edward..." she panted between kisses. "I need you now... inside me."

Holy fuck I almost came right then.

Instead I just growled into her neck, attacking her with my teeth, all the way up to her ear. "Do you have any idea the affect you have on me?" I whispered. My hand caught one of hers that was currently buried in my hair. I ran her hand over my still covered erection, barely suppressing a groan. She however didn't suppress hers.

Apparently my move struck a cord because suddenly I was pushed onto my back. Bella's lovely tresses fell around me as she moved to straddle me and leaned over, but were swept away when she lifted her shirt above her head. Her bra soon followed and I was once again graced with the glorious sight of her breasts. Before she could blink I was up and had my mouth latched to her nipple, my hand teasing the other. She arched her back in response and subsequently rolled her hips causing a wonderful friction against my straining length.

"Fuck! Bella … oh god.." I wanted to tell her to stop, that I was afraid of hurting her, but my brain decided it would let my dick take over for while and I was lost.

"It's okay Edward. As long as I'm on top I think I'm fine. I'll just go slow and play it safe." It was like she could read my mind.

A flurry of motions later I was beneath her again naked. She was again above me but now mirroring my state of undress.

"I don't have anything with me... I wasn't exactly planning for this." Suddenly realizing we needed to be responsible adults can be a buzz kill but a necessary one.

"It's okay, I have an IUD*. And I was checked recently so I'm clean."

"Me too, you sure you're okay with this?" I was straining not to just take her but I needed to make sure she was okay. Her response was to lift off me, where she had been rubbing against me slowly, grasping me and sliding down on my cock.

"Holy fu-" I couldn't even say two words. The feeling of being inside her was indescribable. She was slick and warm and squeezing me so deliciously. I had to start thinking of Margaret Thatcher naked to keep from exploding right then.

Slowly she rocked her hips and began riding me, her head back, and making the most fantastic mewls and gasps.

"Oh Edward, you feel so... so good." Her hands were on my chest holding her up, making her moving breasts push up and out toward me. One of my hands that had been on her hip moved to tease a nipple, the other moved to her swollen bundle of nerves between us.

"Yes! Oh God Yes!" Her movements sped up as my thumb increased it's pressure on her clit. Her eyes closed from the sensation but I couldn't have that.

"Open your eyes, Bella. I need to watch you cum around me." Her eye shot open as she moaned and I could feel the familiar coil in my stomach. I knew I needed to get her to come very soon. "Does that feel good, love?" I said while circling her clit.

"Ugh.. yes" She was fighting to keep her eyes open, the sensations being so strong.

"That's right, my love, let go... come for me." And she did, screaming out my name and pulsing around me. The feeling was so strong as I finally let go it was like the world exploded around us. White spots clouded my vision and my screams matched her as we melted together.

I started to come down from the high when she started to collapse forward. I caught her before her ribs came in contact with my chest. Carefully I rolled her over to her side, keeping her wrapped in my arms.

"Are you alright, love?"

"I freaking fantastic! That was... I just... never knew..."

Now I'm confused. My furrowed brows must have made that obvious.

"Um well.. I never really ever.. got there during actually sex before." What?

"You mean you've never had an orgasm during sex? Ever?"

"Nope... not until now that is." She grinned. Well that'll boost a guys ego for sure.

"First of many, love. First of many."

–

AN: Hope you liked it. I kinda rushed through the lemon. Don't worry – next chapter takes up where this one left off :)

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