It's funny but right after I said that, since more people were commenting because they liked Shinichi more than Kaito,
I stopped getting a many reviews...

I LOVE KAITO AND SHINICHI! I meant nothing by it! Please keep reviewing!

Chapter 4: Who Will Mourn?

Haibara had told him he'd been pushing his body too hard. His organs were already failing and running around every day, not including school, was taking it too far. After falling unconscious on the roof Shinichi had developed a constant pain in his stomach that wasn't going to be going away.

"I told you not to push yourself Kudo-kun. If you keep speeding up your heart rate it will only make the poison's effects more prevalent."

"It's not like I meant to Haibara. At least I'm doing what I want to, right?" Shinichi rested on the professor's couch while Haibara looked him over. The spasms of pain were followed by blood now so Shinichi had to be careful where he was when an attack started. The pain wasn't unlike when he was first shrunk but such frequent doses of the attack were torment. His resistance to it was lessening by the day and he didn't want Ran to hear him screaming.

"Kudo-kun," Haibara lowered her fingers after seeing if Shinichi's pupils were dilated. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have given it to you."

"The antidote?" Shinichi blinked to put water back in his eyes before he shrugged. "It's not your fault. With how much I've been asking you for it, it's a wonder that this hasn't happened before now. If anyone's to blame it's me… So don't apologize."

"How can you not be angry at me?"

Shinichi straightened up. Haibara had started crying and he knew how much it took to make the glorified queen of pent up emotions do that.

"I can be angry at the world, and you know what, sometimes I am." Shinichi didn't know how to deal with girls when they were crying so he settled on answering her question and tried to ignore her tears so that she'd have some level of dignity. "What good would it do? I can be angry at Gin for poisoning me, I can be angry at you for giving me the antidote, and most of all, I can be angry at myself for more reasons than I can count. Some of those would be leaving Ran at the amusement park alone that day, talking you into giving me the antidote and making you feel bad about it, and involving so many people into my problems that it only hurts them more when I leave. You have no idea how much I hate myself sometimes."

Shinichi was quiet until Haibara got herself under control. "But I don't hate you, so don't think I do."

The scientist nodded but her attitude since she'd noticed something was wrong with Shinichi after he'd turned back into Conan was morbid. As long as she still had the professor Shinichi wasn't overly worried about her. There were so few people in Haibara's life that she cared about that Shinichi knew that, even if she never said anything, his death was going to hit her hard.

"Can I have it?" Shinichi held out his hand.

Haibara's eyes darkened further and she withdrew into herself before putting her hand in her lab coat pocket and taking out a small pill bottle.

"Only use it when you're ready. We want you here for as long as you can."

Shinichi met her eyes and nodded before looking at the little pill inside the canister. It would make him older again, and dying had given him the symptoms he needed for it to take effect. The only problem was that once his time was over, which would only be a few hours with how much immunity he'd built up to it, he would die.

He would die as Shinichi though. His body wouldn't have time to regress before his heart gave out. When that happened the poison wouldn't be able to spread.

What made Shinichi tremble was the way it was going to kill him. His heart wouldn't just stop, his internal organs would give a few minutes before that and he'd be coughing up blood until he had massive heart failure. He had to get away from Ran before that happened.

"So how long do I have then? It's obvious I don't have the three weeks anymore with my running around."

Haibara shook her head. "You have a week at most. If you continue to push your body I'd say you have less than four days."

Shinichi took in the information with a heavy silence. He knew he'd cut his time short but he didn't realize by how much. Four days at least left to live when yesterday he had three weeks. He didn't let his realization show to Haibara since she was already going through enough as it was.

"I feel like that's not enough time but I don't have anything to take care of. Funny isn't it?"

"You should call your parents. You'll regret it if you don't." Haibara looked at the floor and made her way out of the room. "I would have liked to say goodbye to mine."

…

After Haibara guilt tripped him, Shinichi called his mom and dad. Technically he called only his dad because he knew his mother wouldn't handle the news well. His father listened without interrupting and, when he was done, told Shinichi that he and his mother would be coming over the next day. There was no flight that could get them there any faster.

If he and Ran had a child, Shinichi knew that he would be doing the same thing so he couldn't fault his parents for their fear. Disloyal tears made their way down his face when Shinichi thought of that. He'd been ready. He was going to marry Ran. They were going to be happy.

But he never got to give her the ring. Even now it was sitting somewhere in his old room across the street. He'd never be able to give it to her either. He shouldn't even be telling her that he loved her. It would only make things harder when he was gone.

Shinichi made his way back to Mouri's and fell asleep next to Ran that night, like he had been doing since she allowed him to. He was happy here, next to her. Shinichi wished all night long that things could stay that way, he didn't even need his body back, just as long as he could be with her.

When the morning sun came all those thoughts disappeared, just like they had every morning. There was no point in living in a fantasy.

…

Besides his parents, he'd invited Hattori along. Shinichi didn't tell Haibara but he wasn't going to wait those few more days he would have before using the antidote. The longer he waited the less time he would have in his real body and he wanted to spend as much of it as he could with Ran. So he was going to use it now.

His parents showed up first, at the professor's house, and Shinichi told them his plan. His mother was against it but some soothing words from his father convinced her otherwise.

It was his decision after all, he just wished his mom would stop crying.

In the time between his parents showing up and Hattori arriving, he took the antidote. The pain associated with it was more than Shinichi remembered and he passed out while the change took place. When he woke back up Hattori was already there and they said he'd been out for fifteen minutes.

"Kudo, you…" Hattori looked downward before smiling and giving him the thumbs up. "You do what you have to do. Just know that I'm gonna be the best detective in the Kansai region. I'll make sure no one takes your title."

"Well that's cheerful." Shinichi couldn't help but start coughing. He bent down to lower the pain in his abdomen and felt Hattori's hand on his back.

"Hey Kudo, you ok?"

"What kind of question is that?" Shinichi whispered, looking up with a smile. "Of course I'm not ok."

"Right." Hattori scratched the back of his head. "Sorry 'bout that."

A noise at the door made them all turn and Shinichi straightened himself.

A boy walked in wearing a dark cap and looking downwards. He leaned against the wall with a smile on his face and removed the cap.

"Hello there my look-alike. You're really not looking so good."

"Better then you," Shinichi joked. He could tell who the boy was even if everyone else in the room looked confused. After all, Shinichi himself knew that he and Kaitou Kid shared an uncanny resemblance to one another. There was no one else who would walk to up him and smile as if nothing were happening when Shinichi knew there was still blood running between his lips.

They grinned at one another.

"It seems we meet again," Shinichi got out in a breath too short, causing him to cough.

"I told you we would." The spiky haired boy's grin was strained and Shinichi felt a commonplace affinity with him at how much secrets he was keeping from the world, though Shinichi was finally letting his fall away. Shinichi could see how forced everything about the other boy was and wondered how he had been fooled to begin with.

"You don't have to hide what you're feeling. No one here knows you and they're not about to judge you."

The boy's grin lost some of its tension but it remained a smile. "That's just not me. I'll see you off the way I've lived my life beside your own, with a smile and a laugh."

It was short and quiet but the other boy did laugh and, against Shinichi's expectations, it felt right.

Hattori wanted to ask who this other boy was so badly but didn't want to upset Shinichi. The Osakan controlled himself by clenching his fists and watching Shinichi's reactions.

"This is really goodbye then." He looked around the room to include everyone else. He was going to see Ran and he was going to die in his house. He'd already planned it out and he didn't want anyone there when it happened.

Shinichi's mom and dad hugged him. He had to push his mom off when she didn't seem like she was going to let go. They smiled at one another but it was a wary thing. The minute that Shinichi left the room it would be gone, replace but grim silence as he knew they would wait until he was gone.

Hattori didn't know what to say so he looked away for a moment. The boy with the unruly hair spoke up so the Osakan wasn't left to fill the awkward silence.

"I told you I don't do goodbyes. I'll be seeing you." Kid smiled and Shinichi took in the fact, for the first time, that the other wasn't wearing any type of disguise.

"Try not to make it too soon. You'll make me feel like a failure."

"How so?"

Shinichi put a hand up in the shape of a gun and pointed it at him. "If I can't catch you make sure no one else does either."

The boy put his hat back on with a smile and made his way out of the house. "I won't Tantei-kun. Say hello to my father if you meet him." The door clicked and the boy was gone.

"What was th-"

Shinichi shrugged before Hattori could finish his sentence. "It was just an old friend saying goodbye. It's none of your concern."

Hattori nodded. "Do ya want us to stick around? For Ran-chan?"

Shinichi's eyes grew sad and his smile all but faded. "Yeah, it would be nice for her to have someone to talk to besides her father. If you could get Kazuha-chan out here it might be better."

"She's in a hotel in ten minutes from here."

Hattori was thinking ahead. Good.

Shinichi held his hand out for him to shake. "It's been nice working with you. You've been a really good friend, even if I didn't ask you to be."

Hattori shook his hand with a small smile. "You've been a good friend too, Kudo. I wish there was somthin' I could have done, but I know there isn't. I'll be there for yer girl. I'll make sure Kazuha gets here too."

"Thanks." Having Hattori be the one to comfort her made Shinichi happier then he should have. It was his damn heart again. Hattori already had Kazuha and that wasn't about to change but he didn't want some random guy falling for her when she was vulnerable.

She deserved to have someone to love her. Shinichi couldn't do it.

He said goodbye once more before going out the door. The last thing he saw on the faces of those closest to him were smiles. He hoped he be able to keep that image with him.

There was only one more person to say goodbye to.