Hogan quickly ran over to where Newkirk and James lay in the street…neither man moving. "Newkirk! Newkirk!" he fearfully exclaimed, throwing himself to his knees and grabbing the Englishman, turning him onto his back. Seeing the blood that covered Newkirk's clothes, Hogan's heart sank as he quickly began searching for a wound.

Green eyes suddenly opened, and Newkirk flinched. "Lay off, guv…I'm all right," he said.

Hogan looked into his face. "Are you sure?"

"This man was shot, Colonel Hogan," said Schultz, who was examining James. "That is not Newkirk's blood!" He said it very happily.

Hogan closed his eyes and sighed with relief, before reopening them and studying Newkirk, who was breathing heavily. "Are you hurt? How's your head?"

The Englishman raised a hand to his eyes, to shield them from the sun. "Not really…I just…need a moment…" He didn't answer the second question.

Hogan nodded and shifted his position in an effort to block the sunlight.

Newkirk lowered his hand and tried to take deep breaths, his lungs still slightly affected by the side effects of the morphine.

Hogan recognized his trouble, and made Newkirk stay put until his breathing returned to normal.

Schultz paced nervously, hovering over them until he was sure that the Englishman was all right, before he went over to the bodies and started dragging them out of the street and into the woods.

"What are we gonna do about this, Colonel?" Newkirk asked, as Hogan helped him sit up.

Hogan sighed. "At the moment, I have no idea."

The German guard came back over to them, and knelt, to be at eye-level. "We cannot leave those bodies here, Colonel Hogan! I cannot tell the Kommandant what has happened! He will ask too many questions of which I know nothing!" He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if contradicting the 'nothing'. "You know that if I mention 'Papa Bear', Major Hochstetter will be at the camp faster than I can say 'apple strudel'!"

Newkirk looked at Hogan, realizing that Schultz now knew without doubt their Underground identity.

"You can get rid of the bodies, I am sure?" Schultz said, in a pleading voice.

Hogan nodded. "Yeah, Schultz, we can."

Schultz closed his eyes with a relieved sigh. "Good! Come, we must go now!" He stood and reached down to help Newkirk up, before suddenly remembering the blood all over him. "Colonel Hogan! Newkirk's clothes! When the Kommandant sees that—!"

"Don't worry, Schultz. We can do something about that too," Hogan told him.

Everyone piled back into the car, and drove off.

Schultz didn't know how Hogan planned to remedy Newkirk's bloodied clothes, and didn't expect the American to eventually have him stop the car.

Hogan helped Newkirk take off his jacket, before saying, "I'll be right back, Schultz," and opening the door.

"Where are you going!"

"To get Newkirk another jacket."

Schultz blinked. "Where?"

Hogan smiled. "Don't ask. Remember, you know 'nothing'!" With that, he disappeared.

Schultz watched him hurry into the woods. "Ohhh…if anyone, anyone knew what I know…or rather, what I don't know…!"

Newkirk chuckled. "Don't let it bother ya, Schultzie. We'd never let anythin' 'appen to ya, 'specially on account of us."

Schultz sighed. "I believe you, Newkirk, but it is still very frightening to be in my position!"

Newkirk nodded. "I know. Why do ya think we give ya so much chocolate?"

Schultz chuckled at that.

A few minutes later, Hogan came back carrying a clean RAF jacket.

"What did the others say?" Newkirk asked.

"They didn't know I was there. I found this jacket in the tunnel." He helped Newkirk put it on, buttoning it for him to cover up the blood on his shirt.

Newkirk couldn't help but grin. "No wonder they call you 'Papa Bear'."

Hogan returned the smile.

"We are back!" Schultz suddenly exclaimed, pulling through the gate to Stalag Thirteen. "What a relief!"

All the prisoners were outside, waiting to see Newkirk. Everyone had been concerned, with most of the prisoners knowing that many Allied soldiers went into a German hospital, and never came out again.

A cheer rose up when Newkirk climbed out of the car, and he waved his hand at everyone, before Hogan and their friends herded him inside Barracks Two.

Carter unashamedly gave Newkirk a big hug. "I was afraid we'd never see you again!" he exclaimed.

Newkirk was slightly surprised, before patting his friend on the back. "Oh Andrew, ya 'ad to know that ol' Newkirk can get 'imself outta anythin'."

"Yeah," Carter answered, though he still sounded worried.

LeBeau launched himself at Newkirk after Carter let go. "Mon ami! You gave us such a scare! Lie down, and I will bring you some soup!"

Newkirk chuckled, and headed towards the table instead. "Lyin' down for three days was long enough." Right after he sat, a huge bowl appeared before him. He picked up the spoon and looked at Hogan. "The guv 'as some good news," he said, taking a bite.

Before Hogan could say anything, the door opened and Klink came in. "Corporal Newkirk," he said. "I see that you have returned!"

What a silly question! "I 'ave indeed, sir. It's good to be 'ome."

"Glad to hear it!" Klink said, and sat across from him at the table, slightly surprising everyone. "Now…Major Hochstetter went to the hospital and asked you some questions—"

Newkirk, having forgotten most of what had gone on while under the influence of the morphine, dropped his spoon when he heard that.

"Colonel," Hogan interrupted. "Newkirk just got out of the hospital and still doesn't feel well. Can't your questions wait?"

Klink was angry at being cut off, and sent the American a glare. "Hogan! I am in charge of this camp! If I choose to ask a prisoner a question, you have no right to stop me!"

Newkirk unwittingly—or maybe purposely—made a soft pained sound, and rubbed the left side of his head.

"Shhh!" Hogan said to Klink. "You see?" He put a hand on the Englishman's shoulder. "Would you like to lie down, Newkirk?"

"I think I should, Guv," Newkirk replied, playing along. He started to stand, before Klink spoke.

"Is that blood?"

Newkirk froze, and sat back down again. Looking down, he could see a small stain on his shirt sticking out from the top of his jacket.

"That's from his IV," Hogan quickly said. "The nurse who removed it made him bleed." He looked at Newkirk. "Did you get her name? We should report her clumsiness."

Newkirk blinked slowly, trying to appear as unwell as possible. "What'd ya say, guv?"

Hogan tsked. "Could you come back a little later, Colonel?" he said. "He'd be better able to answer your questions then. The morphine isn't completely out of his bloodstream, so he keeps losing focus."

Klink sighed and nodded, reluctantly. "Fine, fine." He stood and came around the table, unexpectedly bending over and looking Newkirk in the face, making the Englishman flinch. "Yes, he really should lie down! I'll be back later." With that, he left.

"Blood?" Carter exclaimed, not believing Hogan's explanation for a second.

"Colonel!" Newkirk exclaimed, at the same time. "Major 'ochstetter did show up at the 'ospital, an' asked me questions! Did I tell him anythin'?"

Hogan sat beside him on the bench and grabbed his arm. "No, Newkirk, you didn't tell him a single thing."

Newkirk blinked. "Are ya sure?"

Hogan nodded. "You drove him crazy, but you didn't give him any of the answers that he wanted."

Newkirk closed his eyes with a relieved sigh. "That's a relief, then." He reopened his eyes with a frown. "Drove 'im crazy? An' 'ow exactly did I do that?"

"Blood?" Carter said again, moving closer and reaching for Newkirk's jacket, pulling at it in order to see better. He gave a sound of alarm before unbuttoning his friend's jacket and laying it wide open, displaying the stain that covered most of his shirt.

At the gasps of shock from the others, Hogan told them what had happened on the way back.

"We're rid of the two imposters!" LeBeau exclaimed. "That is magnifique!

"As long as the Underground grabs those bodies before the Germans find them," Kinch said, looking at Hogan.

The Colonel nodded and gestured over his shoulder at the tunnel entrance, which Kinch headed towards.

"But what about Schultz?" Carter said. "I mean, I know that he looks the other way a lot, but this time, he has real—I mean, really real!—proof!"

Hogan sighed. "Just remember, Carter, if he tells, he gets into just as much trouble as we do, especially since he's been looking the other way for so long."

"We don't 'afta worry about Schultzie," Newkirk said, between bites. "Ya forget that 'e also cares about us, an' doesn't want us to get in trouble."

"That's true," said Carter. "What would we do without him?" His face suddenly registered shock. "Wow! Who'd've thought we'd ever say something like that about a German prison guard?"

Hogan nodded. "Yeah, we really got lucky."

"What if it's not just luck?" said Carter. "Could you imagine if he was actually on our side or something, and we didn't know it?" He laughed. "What if he was Nimrod, or something! Could you imagine?"

"Oh, Andrew," said Newkirk, rolling his eyes as he finished his soup. He started to remove his jacket, and Carter reached over to help.

LeBeau opened the Englishman's footlocker, to get him a clean shirt, and when he stood again, he accidentally bumped Newkirk's back.

Newkirk gasped and flinched, his body jerked forward away from the Frenchman.

LeBeau frowned. "What happened?"

Newkirk reached behind himself to rub his back. "Ya bumped me where the doctor stuck me with 'is ruddy needle."

"Sorry!" LeBeau exclaimed.

Hogan folded his arms and leaned against the bunks, watching with a smile as the other two fussed over their friend.

"Carter," Newkirk said, "I don't need 'elp—" His last word was cut off when the American pulled the shirt over his head. They found that the German's blood had also seeped into the Englishman's t-shirt, so they took that off him too.

LeBeau leaned down to look at his friend's back. "Oh, mon ami, I am so sorry!"

Hogan and Carter both took a peek, to see a nasty purple bruise in the middle of Newkirk's lower back.

"S'okay, mate," Newkirk said, not wanting LeBeau to feel guilty. He reached for the t-shirt, pulling it over his head.

Carter helped him finish dressing, and LeBeau took the empty bowl. "I will get you some more!"

Newkirk wasn't sure if he could eat a second bowl, but he couldn't refuse his worried friend. "So 'ow did I drive 'ochstetter crazy?" he asked.

"How didn't you drive him crazy?" said Kinch, coming back upstairs. "We're all set, Colonel."

Hogan nodded at him, before telling Newkirk what Siegfried had said…and what Hochstetter had subsequently done.

Newkirk, shocked, paused with his spoon in the air. He put it back into the bowl and pulled up his sleeve, to see the small bruise left behind by Hochstetter's violence. "The ruddy kraut coulda killed me!"

Everyone quietly nodded.

The Englishman's frown slowly turned into a smile. "Still, now I remember 'is face turnin' red from what I was sayin'! Since I'm still alive, I guess it was worth it!" He put the spoon back into the soup, to find that there was only a little bit of broth left. Surprised that he'd managed to eat the whole second bowl, he picked it up and drank the rest.

LeBeau took the empty bowl from him with a smile.

"Thanks, Louis," Newkirk said. He gave a yawn.

"I think you should get some rest," Hogan said. He took Newkirk's arm and led him over to Carter's bunk, helping him lie down.

Newkirk let out a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"How's your head?" Carter asked.

"Doesn't 'urt too much," Newkirk told him. "I'm sure I'll be right as rain in the mornin'."

Everyone smiled at him.

"We were really scared, you know," Carter told him.

Newkirk opened his eyes. "Sorry about that. I 'ave to say, though, that I'm glad this 'appened."

"What?" everyone replied.

Newkirk smiled. "I was in the right place at the right time, mates. If I wasn't in that 'ospital room that day, we would never 'ave known that the agents that ya were meetin' that night were spies," he said, looking at Hogan.

Hogan nodded.

"So, if it didn't 'appen, the Colonel wouldn't be 'ere right now…in fact, none of us would."

Everyone realized that he was right; if Hogan had been captured, Hochstetter would've had the proof that he needed, and Newkirk, Carter, and LeBeau—at the very least—would've been killed too.

"Wow," Carter said.

Newkirk nodded. "That's an understatement."

"But it's more than that," said Hogan. "Despite how…loopy…you were, Newkirk, you managed to get to the contact site and warn me. Did I say 'thank you' yet?"

Newkirk tried to think. "I'm not sure, guv."

Hogan crouched beside the bunk and patted Newkirk's shoulder with a smile. "Thanks, Newkirk. You're always there when we need you."

Newkirk smiled back. "An' I always will be, guv."

THE END
OMG I finished it! This was intended to be a short story…like, two or three thousand words…and look what it turned into! Make sure you all tell me how much you enjoyed reading it! ROTFL! ;)