Had to put in some kind of "closure" on the Calleigh and Jake saga. Enjoy.
Supernova
Three
You thought that you'd seen a ghost.
You were focused on what Jesse was saying one second, then the next, out of your periphery, you saw a shadow moving quick through the crowd of angry commuters, you saw the silhouette of a person most familiar to you, and you had to blink a few times before your eyes made out the being slivering through the crowd.
Jake.
You hadn't heard from him in...too long, and he shows up out of the blue, like he always does, and throws a monkey wrench into your plans, your life...your heart. Jake was your first love, and you know that the twinge of guilt and feelings will always be there. You've made it clear to him that you no longer feel the exact same way, that you can no longer stand to wait for him.
Now, as you look at him all puffed up and playing Mr. Tough guy as the doctor examines him, you just feel guilt. On the job, you don't wear your wedding ring; you're afraid that you might lose it, so you put it in your pocket for safe keeping and put it on after work. Jake has no idea what's been going on in your life, what's happened...that you're married to Eric now. You contemplate the words to tell him as you gently nibble your bottom lip, a nervous habit of yours. You watch as Jake nods and then shoos away the doctor and gets off the table.
He gives you that lopsided, cocky grin.
"Let's get outta here, Lula-Mae."
You can't help but grin, rolling your eyes as you walk out with him.
You just know that Eric is going to bristle at the knowledge that Jake is a part of this case.
It has been no secret to you that your husband and Jake have bad blood between them. For obvious reasons concerning you, Eric loathes Jake, and Jake can't stand Eric because of what Jake perceived to be the influence that Eric had on your decision to end your relationship with him.
Either way, you know that this is going to turn into a long day for you.
"Am I drivin' or are you?" Jake asks.
"I'm drivin'," you drawl as you open up the driver's side and get in.
Jake slips in to the passenger side.
"Where do you want me to take you?"
He shrugs. "Don't care...I just gotta lay low."
You look over at him. He looks thinner these days, and not in a good way; he looks unhealthy, like he hadn't eaten a proper meal for all the running he does, all the dangerous work he does. He looks scruffy, stressed, and exhausted.
You sigh, turning in the seat to look at him.
"Jake...when're you gonna...get out?" You ask.
He shrugs. "I don't know...soon. But then, what am I going to do?"
"Have a normal life, Jake. Work at the department..."
"I tried that, I got antsy."
"Because you didn't try hard enough. I know that coming out of UC is a huge transition. I know that you have to shift out of the fantasy into the real, but...I can tell that it's taken a toll on you."
He smirks. "Enough about me...you look nice."
You smile softly. "Thanks..."
"You look happy."
"Yeah..."
"Eric?"
You nod. "Eric has been really good to me...he's...good for me."
Jake looks away. "That's great," he replies curtly.
"Don't do that..."
He looks at you again. "I'm sorry. I'm happy for you, Lula-Mae."
"Don't call me that, Jake."
"You remember why I call you that?"
You do remember, nod your confirmation.
"When I was a kid," he begins. "I knew I was going to marry the perfect girl; she had long blonde hair, sweet eyes, kissable lips...the perfect Southern Belle. Women like that were just sweet, adorable...a regular Lula-Mae 'cause she was just a good woman."
You grin a bit. "You'll find her one day, Jake."
"But I'll just have to call her a different name," he despairs. "I think about you, Calleigh. Almost everyday...look uh...I don't have much money, but I've got enough for some coffee. Maybe you and I-"
"I can't, Jake."
You knew that he was going to do this; try and worm his way into your heart again. You're much stronger now though, you're insanely in love with Eric...
"Eric's the jealous type, I know."
"It's not that," you explain.
"Cal, it's-"
"I'm married," you reveal, looking at him. "Eric and I are married."
You see his Adam's apple move with the slow swallow he takes.
"How long?"
"Three months."
"Oh...congrats."
"Thanks."
You see the hurt and regret on his face, and you sigh and start the car.
"Uh, Cal, I think I'm gonna hoof it from here," he says, opening up the door.
"Jake-"
"It's okay, Calleigh," he smiles. "I know you've gotta get back to work. I'm good, alright? Don't worry about me, Lula-Mae."
You feel your heart break for him. You know that if you let him walk away again, that you won't see him for a long, long time. He is truly lost, and there is nothing you can do to keep him from drowning anymore. Jake has to find his own way.
"Okay."
With that, he gets out of the Hummer, closes the door, bids you one last goodbye, then he heads on his way.
/\/\/\/\
When Eric told you to "Save a little something," you were looking forward to a romantic evening after drinks with the team.
You frown when you come into the house and find Eric sorting through boxes.
"Eric, what is this?"
"I'm unpacking...finally."
You pout, and he laughs at you.
"Cal..."
You whine as you saunter over to him. "I thought you were hinting at the fantasy I've been entertaining in my mind all night...not unpacking."
He smiles at you and wraps his arms around your waist.
"Carina, we've been stumbling around boxes, and I've been living out of them for three weeks."
"And you chose tonight, when that leer you gave me has me all hot and bothered..."
He raises an eyebrow at you. "You're hot and bothered, are you?"
You put a finger to his lips before he can kiss you. "Nuh uh, Mister. Since you're in the mood to unpack...I guess I'll help you."
You go and change into some comfortable clothes, then you sit across from Eric on the floor, a large box between you, and you help him rummage through it.
His furniture is still in his condo, and he plans to put it in storage once he gets an acceptable offer from the realtor. You helped him rearrange it for the open house, and then you made sure to get all of his personal things, and some of yours that you've left behind out so that the open houses go well, along with a deep cleaning of every nook and cranny of the place. You hope the condo sells soon, which it should, because it is in a prime location for one, and it's a condo...in Miami. You figure that some young hotshot will come along and snatch it up soon.
You take out a rather dusty photo album and you smile when you see a picture of a six year old Eric smiling up at the camera with his two front teeth missing. You laugh and he looks up at you, grinning.
"What?"
"Even with no front teeth you were still so darn cute," you muse as you hand him the album.
He chuckles. "Yeah, and I was a pain in the ass. My sisters hated me when I was little."
"Aww," you smile. "And here I thought you were a sweetheart."
"I was a pest," he admits as he flip through the album.
You smile as you take out some more of his books. You discover that he has a library book from high school that he never returned, raggedy, thoroughly read copies of East of Eden, and One Hundred Years of Solitude. You find thick books about the history of both Russia and Cuba, and you always forget that he's part Russian because he identifies more with his Cuban roots. He speaks perfect Russian, but you think that he appreciates his Cuban heritage a little more.
You find another album, this one more recent, and modern in style, and you open it up and find pictures of the team, of you and him when you first began dating, when it became serious. You find a black and white photo of you, in bed, sleeping on your belly, the sheet draped over your lower back, hair splayed over your back. You furrow your eyebrows. Sneaky, very sneaky your husband can be with a camera sometimes.
Then you flip to your wedding picture, and you smile.
You glance down at your ring, and you think back to the conversation with Jake earlier, and you sigh, now wondering if you should have had a coffee with him, just so he could feel safe and normal just a while longer...you admit it, you are only slightly worried about him because he was a part of your life for a bit of time when you were young and stupid about guys. Since then, you've watched him turn into an embittered, hardened cop living on the fringes of life.
"What's on your mind?"
You look at Eric.
"Nothing," you shrug, picking up a stack of books and head to the office to put them on the book shelf.
You hear Eric's heavy footsteps, and you turn to him and smile.
"I think there's plenty of room-"
He puts his hands on your hips.
"Cal...what've you been thinking about?"
You shake your head, smiling. "Nothing. It's nothing, I-"
"Babe, don't do this," he pleads with you. "Talk to me."
You shrug. "Nothing...I was just thinking about earlier...with Jake."
He raises an eyebrow at you. "What happened?"
"Nothing," you insist. "Nothing happened, love, I promise you. It's just that I told him about us. He asked me to have coffee with him, and I turned him down. I told him that we were married."
"How'd he take it?"
"Okay," you sigh. "But...he looked...unhealthy. The UC has taken a toll on him and I guess...I guess I'm worried about him."
"Jake made his own choices, Cal."
"I know, but...I didn't drop him anywhere, he just took off and-"
"Do you still have feelings for Jake?"
The question pierces your heart, and you look at Eric incredulously, shaking your head.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Oh my God," you huff as you leave the office and go into the bedroom.
"Calleigh-"
"How can you even ask me something like that?"
"Because you had this look in your eyes. I know you too well, Calleigh. We both know each other too well for our own good."
You furrow your eyebrows. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I know you so well because I love you, and that you can be honest with me."
You put your hands on your hips. "There's nothing for me to be honest about, okay? You know my history with Jake, just like I know your history with Natalia. But I'm mature enough to look past it and see it for what it was."
"But I didn't fall in love with Natalia."
This is ridiculous. You both know it, but you'll be damned if you let him get the upper hand because you're hurt now, and he's just being cruel.
"Okay, fine, yes, I still have feelings for him," you hiss, feeling tears spilling down your cheeks. "There? Are you satisfied? Do you want me to still have feelings for him? I am always the one caught in the middle of you and Jake's pissing contest. I love you, Eric. Jake has absolutely nothing to offer me because I love what you give me, and what you do for me. How could you think that Jake would have anything better to offer me that I'd take?"
Eric looks away from you, sighing.
"You asked me to talk to you, and I did," you sniffle. "But you used it against me because you always get suspicious on the very rare occasions Jake comes up. That really hurt me, Eric."
"Carina-"
You cross your arms over your chest. "No," you interrupt him and pull away from his touch.
You wipe a tear and then cross your arms tighter over your chest.
Eric has hurt you deeply, after you've spent so much time learning how to be more forgiving and trusting toward him, he does this to you. You are almost sick with the hurt, and you go over and sit on the bed. Eric leaves the room, and you lie down, your heart clenching with feelings of betrayal.
You manage to doze off, and you wake up again, this time on your back, and you turn onto your side, feeling fresh, hot tears stinging the brims of your eyes. You sniffle, and release a shuddering breath. Normally, you can handle these things a little better, but you've been through so much the last months that it's worn you down a bit. You can't steel yourself anymore, you can't just move on...your veneer has been cracked along the way.
You hear the door open, and after a few moments, the bed dips behind you. You don't make a move to push Eric away when he slinks his arm over your waist and presses a soft kiss to your shoulder.
"Carina, I'm sorry," he whispers.
You tremble and more tears come. "You really hurt my feelings, Eric. How could you even think to ask me something like that? After everything we've been through together..."
"I'm sorry, Calleigh," he says, holding you tighter.
You turn and face him. "I love you, Eric. You are so wonderful to me, you're the most amazing man, and I'm lucky to have you. You see how long Jake has been gone...I-I didn't even tell him about all the stuff that's happened. Everything that's happened to me. Even before we fell in love, you were always there for me. He wasn't. You were the one that stayed up all night with me when I couldn't sleep after being abducted, you held me when John died, when Tim died..."
You wipe away a tear. "Sorry..."
"No," he says. "Don't be sorry, babe."
"You...you took such good care of me after I lost the baby...and for you to think that I'd throw everything we have away...for Jake, of all people, that was a low blow, Eric."
He kisses you softly.
"I know...I just hate what he did to you, Cal, and before we got together, I watched you take him back over and over again. I love you so much, and it's not so much out of jealousy that I said what I said...believe it or not, it was a rather misguided attempt at trying to protect you."
You smile. "Well, it's lucky for me you get it right every other time."
He chuckles. "I love you, carina. Will you forgive me?"
You kiss him softly. "You're forgiven."
He gently pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.
"Well, I guess I shot this whole evening to hell."
You smirk, and you gently push him onto his back and straddle him.
"I think we may be able to salvage it..."
He puts his hands on your hips, caressing gently. "So uh...you gonna tell me about that fantasy of yours?"
You lean down and kiss him lovingly. "It involves you..."
You press a kiss to his lips.
"And me..."
You unbutton his shirt and push it off before you lean down to kiss his chest.
"In our room, in our bed," you continue, taking off your tank top, revealing pink lace.
He gently pulls you down and he kisses you passionately.
You smile against his lips.
"And not a care," you say between kisses. "In the..." Another kiss. "World."
He rolls you over and you giggle, your love for Eric becoming deeper, brighter, more consuming.
Knowing that scares you.