Alright! This is the last chapter people! This is 'Paul's thoughts'. I really hope that those of you that requested these chapters be done liked what I did with them!
NOTE!: THIS IS NOT A CONTINUATION OF CHAPTER ONE! THIS IS ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF SHOWING PAUL'S THOUGHTS.
"Fernape!" his Infernape wailed as it fell to the ground.
"Infernape!" he called to it as if his voice would magically change the way things had happened. He ran over to it and knelt down in the dirt beside it. The familiar feeling of jealously stung in my heart when I saw him caress it in his arms and smile down at it.
"You did such a great job, Infernape. You really tried your best. Thanks," he said as he took out its pokeball. I laughed to myself at this. What an idiot, feeding his Pokemon's ego like that. He returned it and continued to smile like an idiot, even though his eyes showed that he was trying his best to fight back tears.
"How pathetic," I muttered. I don't know if he heard it or not, but I really didn't care. He was probably used to my insults by now anyway.
Taking out Magmortar's pokeball, I returned him to it and then scowled down towards it.
"Is that all you've got?" I asked it, knowing that it wouldn't answer back. I didn't even have to look at Ash to know that I had struck his last nerve. He stood up and gave me his best angry face. He looked so cute when he was trying to act all tough.
Wait… what?
"Why do you have to be like that, Paul? Your Pokemon do their best to gain your respect and they battle their hardest but you brush it off like they don't even try!" Ash yelled at me.
"Hn. I don't need your lectures," I said, turning and walking away. I heard him growl and run to catch up to me. No surprise there. He did this 50% of the time even though only about 10% actually made me stop and question why he was following me. Next, he would usually call my nam-
"Paul!" Right on cue.
"PAUL!" he yelled again. Was he really that desperate for my attention?
I continued to walk until we were about one or two yards inside the forest. Giving up, I turned around and gave him the deepest scowl that I could. If looks could kill, he'd drop dead on the spot.
He caught up to me and stopped, putting his hands on his knees and catching his breath. Finally looking up at me, he jumped a little and stepped back. Smart move.
He put on a scowl of his own and then clenched his fists at his sides.
"What do you want," I said in a voice that didn't sound like a question.
"What do I want? I want to know why you always act like such an arrogant little brat that never shows any feeling other than hate and disrespect! Do you know that pretty much everyone you meet hates you, with the exception of Barry, because you act like such a jerk?" he yelled at me.
I was stunned.
I couldn't believe what he had just said to me. It sounded exactly like what my father used to tell me.
I must have looked pretty stupid just standing there like an idiot.
Suddenly, I felt tears pool up behind my eyes. I don't know if he caught it or not, but I turned swiftly and began to walk away again. I shortly heard Ash running to catch up with me again. I tried walking a little faster and then heard him call out my name again.
"Paul!" he called in vain.
Tears. I felt them leak from under my eyes and down my face.
"PAUL!" he yelled to me.
They were coming down full force now.
Finally getting close enough, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.
When he saw my face, he released my shoulders and I didn't even have to look at him to know that he must have been shocked. I don't know what he was standing there doing, but he probably was laughing on the inside at seeing me be so weak. He finally got up the nerve to talk to me.
"P-Paul. What… what's wrong?" he asked.
It took me a minute to muster up a response, but I finally choked one out.
"Nothing…" was my only shaky word. Turning again, I walked deeper into the forest and didn't dare look back. I didn't hear the increasing foot beats behind me or that annoying, pre-puberty voice of his, so I figured he had finally given up after that performance. Suddenly, I heard him call out to me.
"Paul! Meet me behind the Pokemon Center tonight! At 8:00! I want to talk to you!" he called.
My eyes widened and I hesitated in my step, but shook it off a bit and continued walking. I can't believe that he had just asked me to do that.
My heart was pounding.
. . . . . .
I made it back to the Pokemon center around 5:30. I had made my decision on the way back that I would go and meet him. Who knows? It might be fun.
I went back to my room so I could clean up before I went to meet him. He, Brock, and… whatever that girl's name is must not have made it here yet because I hadn't heard their annoying voices or seen their pathetic Pokemon.
I went silently passed the front desk and went straight to my hotel room. Upon entering, I undressed and went to take a shower.
The cool water splashing on my face made me feel completely relaxed. I still wondered what Ash was thinking when he saw me crying. Maybe he thought that I was weak. Maybe he lost all respect for me and now I'm just a joke in his eyes. Or maybe he-
"Guys, I think I'll gotake a shower now," I heard someone say in the distance.
I knew exactly who it was.
I immediately shut off my shower (I was done anyway) and hopped out, wrapping a towel around me and grabbing my clean clothes. I heard his footsteps get increasingly louder and my heart began to pound as the thought of him coming in here entered my mind. My heart rate began to slow as I heard his footsteps stop at the door next to my room and enter that one.
Of course, his room had to be right beside mine.
I had to make sure and be extra quiet. I quickly dried off, threw on my clothes, and brushed my teeth. I popped an extra mint just to make sure that my breath smelled extra good.
Looking through my bag, I thought I might be able to find something that would make me seem like I had at least half-way put in some effort into this. I never bought any cologne or anything because I never thought I would need it. Suddenly, my fingers brushed over something hard and smooth like glass. I grabbed it and took it out so I could see it better.
It was a bottle of Lavender-scented cologne.
I then remembered where I had gotten this. Reggie had given it to me for my birthday one year, claiming that I would definitely thank him one day for it. I had simply shrugged and tossed it into my bag without even giving it a second thought. I never thought that I would be – or have the desire to be – in a relationship which would call for the need to smell nice.
I've always heard the saying 'people who are single are incomplete people'. The truth is that the one word which might characterize me is not incomplete; it's free. Free to go. Free to do. Free to change.
Spraying myself with a generous amount of the lavender mist, I looked in the mirror and began to brush my unruly purple hair. As I did so, I thought about why exactly that I had purple hair. Whatever, it suited me.
Giving one last glance in the mirror, I actually took notice that I looked pretty nice. I hope Ash appreciates all the work I put into my appearance.
Dear God, I'm thinking about him again. What's wrong with me?
I sat down on the corner of my bed and watched the clock. I would wait until I heard him leave, then I would follow after. I didn't want to seem too eager and get there early.
As they say, love is patient.
. . . . . .
After about 15 minutes of tedious waiting, I finally heard his door close and go to leave the Pokemon Center. I peeked out of my door a few minutes later and saw that annoying girl coming back to his room with an angry look on her face. I slammed my door shut again and listened through the wall.
"I can't believe that he would lie to me! 'I'm just going out to get supplies' my foot!" the girl hollered.
"Dawn, please calm down. Maybe he just wanted some time alone," another voice (probably Brock) tried to console.
"Maybe…" the coordinator sighed and I heard her plop down on her bed.
What a brat. She better not like him.
Wait… why do I even care? Ugh, I'm so confused.
. . . . . . .
I went outside the Pokemon Center and was instantly greeted by a cool gust of wind. I walked around to the back wall when I heard someone yell "My hat!" The next thing I know, the loser's hat in blown right in my line of reach. Some-what despite myself, I extended my hand out and caught it with ease. I heard him gasp stupidly and stop in his tracks. Deciding that now was as good a time as ever, I walked around the corner and was greeted by the dumb-struck face of the one I was supposed to meet. He blinked cutely and had the most adorable look of curiosity spread across his face.
"Paul! You showed up!" he said to me.
"Of course I showed up! You asked me to, didn't you?" I asked. I held his hat in my hand a little bit tighter and clutched it to my chest.
"Well… yeah, but I just thought that you would blow me off," he said.
"Hn," was my only response. Then I saw his eyes shift down a little bit towards my chest. I felt my face heat up a bit before I realized what he was getting at.
"Uh… thanks for catching my hat," he said embarrassedly. I then realized that I still held his hat tightly in my grasp. I flinched a little and shoved it in his hands.
"Whatever. So, why did you want me to come here?" I asked honestly.
He put his hat back in place and looked into my eyes. He seemed to think for a moment before finally stating his answer.
"I wanted to know why you were crying today in the forest," he said confidently.
I flinched, forgetting that he had seen me do that. I stayed silent, which obviously made him impatient.
"Paul. Answer me," he stated again, more sternly this time.
"It's… complicated," was my answer. I knew that it wouldn't be a sufficient response, but I thought he would let me of the hook.
I was wrong.
"I've got time," he said. He suddenly grabbed my hand and dragged me over to a spot in the grass. I couldn't help but blush as I felt his hand still around mine even when we had sat down. I jerked it away with fake disdain.
"Now, what happened? Why were you crying?" Ash asked again, seemingly oblivious to my very apparent blush.
I searched his eyes for a hint of doubt. When I saw none, I sighed to myself.
"… You were the reason," I said, tearing my gaze away from him. He was silent for a moment before making a response.
"M-me? What did I do?" he asked innocently. That's how he had me hooked. His innocence was just so odd. I had never been, nor been around anyone, that was truly and genuinely pure in soul and heart.
"It wasn't what you did, it was what you said," I corrected.
"What I said? How did that hurt your feelings? You say horrible things to me every time we meet! If you expect me to apologize-"
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR 5 SECONDS?" I yelled at him. He shut up. Looking at his solemn face made me, for the first time in my life, regret something I had done.
I sighed before finally giving him what he had asked me to come here for.
~Repeats. You can just skim this part~
"What you said reminded me of when I… was little…" I began, "I used to look up to my father like a hero. He taught me how to ride a bike and play baseball; just like any good dad would. But one day, he got fired from his job. Then… my dad turned into a full-fledged alcoholic. He would come home every night after he returned from the bar and yell at my innocent mother for hours after. I tried to stop him a few times, but that only got me black eyes and insults, which would make the kids at school tease me. My father would tell me all the time that I was useless and pathetic. He told me that a spoiled brat like me didn't even deserve to be alive. Reggie was a different story though. Dad would praise him like he was an angel. His reason for thinking this was because he never got in the way of anything he did. He would always be out with his friends or be doing something that would 'change the world for the better' in my dad's eyes. He told me that Reggie was born lucky… he told me that I was lucky to be born. He told me that I should be… grateful to have home…"
I had to stop to avoid breaking into tears. Ash continued to sit looking at me with a horrified look. I ignored it and finally regained my composure to where I could speak again.
"One time I had a Pikachu… a lot like yours. My mother had given it to me for my 10th birthday; it was my very first Pokemon. I loved that little Pikachu. I taught it a whole bunch of incredible moves, including volt tackle. My mother and I kept it secret from my father, because we knew that if he found it, he would kill all three of us. I did a real good job of hiding it, too. I kept it completely unknown for 3 months. Then one day I went outside… and Pikachu got out. My dad found it and asked me and my mother if we had anything to do with this. We both knew that lying wouldn't help, since he would eventually find out anyway. He gave my mother and me an extra good beating that night. The next day… I found my Pikachu dead. Fearing for my safety, my mother packed mine and Reggie's things and told him to take me somewhere safe. That's how we ended up in Veilstone. A few years later, I went out on my Pokemon journey… alone… and that's the way it's always been," I finished. I sighed inwardly, hardly believing what I had just poured onto my rival. I wondered how he would take it.
"Paul… I had no idea… I'm so sorry-"
"Save your apologies. I don't need your sympathy," I lied. If only Ash knew how much I wanted him to just take me in his arms and let me cry on his shoulder, telling me that it was okay and rubbing my back soothingly. He'd never do that, though. Right now, I wouldn't blame him if he just got up and walked away after the way I'd been treating him.
"Paul, to me, you've always been hard to figure out. But now… I think I really get you," Ash said. This made me turn to him and look him in the eyes.
"Now I know why you've always been so interested in my Pikachu. And I also know why you are so mean to everyone," Ash stopped and looked back into my eyes, "it's because you're afraid, isn't it."
My eyes widened considerably.
"You're afraid that if you get too close to anyone, they'll betray you, just like your father did. But you can't let one occurrence guide your life. You'll never be happy or have friends. And sure, even if it's working for you now, just think about when you get older. You'll be alone for everything. Can you even imagine how horrible that will be?" Ash asked.
"I…" I uttered stupidly.
"Just think about what I've said. Thank you for coming and trusting me enough to tell me… what you told me," Ash said. He got up and began to walk back towards the front of the Pokemon Center. It sort of surprised my own self, but I found myself getting up and catching his arm. He gave a confused look back at me, so I stared at him with my very best pleading eyes. He seemed to catch this and decided to walk back over and sit down beside me. I took note that he was considerably closer to me than before. I could feel the heat of his body radiating towards me.
The silence was getting awkward, so I finally decided to speak again.
"Ash… what you said was true. My dad just really hurt me, physically and emotionally, so I guess I just built a wall, blocking everyone out…" I said.
~Repeat. Skim this if you would like~
"It's not uncommon that people get in your same situation. How often do we hold onto our meager scraps of life, clutching them so closely to us, failing to realize that we gain everything by letting go. We nurse our grudges and anger over pasts slights and abuses, telling ourselves we are entitled to our resentments after all we have endured, destroying ourselves and our happiness in the process," Ash said.
I looked into Ash's eyes very intently; listening to every word like my life depended on it.
"Ya know," Ash continued, leaning against the back of the Pokemon Center and looking up at the stars that adorned the night sky, "we expect miracles to happen every day, and when they don't, we become disappointed because we are not satisfied with what does happen. But honestly, we often fail to see the splendor of the simple everyday things and seize the moments that present themselves to us," Ash stopped and looked back at me with his familiar happy eyes.
"We seek peace but remain so busy doing, planning to do, or remembering what we have done that we have no time for it. You have to learn to let go and move on. Do you understand?" Ash asked.
I couldn't find my voice, so I hoped that my eyes would tell him the whole story. Here I thought that Ash was a nieve idiot that didn't know about anything except what little knowledge he had about Pokemon.
"I… never wanted to get close to anyone else because I was so afraid that what happened to me as a kid would happen again… I didn't even want to take the chance…" I said, finally making comprehensible words.
"You took the chance, though, Paul. You got close to me," Ash said, smiling a radiant smile.
Seeing him smile made the corners of my own mouth turn up a bit.
"I… guess I did," I admitted. Instead of the horrible embarrassment that I thought I would feel, I actually felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
Ash looked into my eyes very intently for a moment before his expression changed. I blinked, silently questioning what he was doing.
"I want to give you something," Ash uttered.
He smiled and gently took one of my hands, turning it upwards where he could see my palm. I didn't pull back, but I felt a blush dust my cheeks and the bridge of my nose. Ash reached into his pocket and dug around for a moment. Finally seeming to find what he was looking for, he placed his curved fingers on my hand and gently released what he was holding. When he moved his hand, I looked down to find a beautiful silver bell with and bright yellow ribbon tied around the top. My eyes must have widened considerably because I heard Ash giggle.
"You… kept it?" I asked. He nodded and continued to smile like an idiot.
"I have had this since the day you gave… threw it at me," Ash said, smiling sarcastically. I felt the need to give him some sort of apology, so I told him through my eyes to make it less out-of-character.
"I've kept it because I thought one day that you might need it back… so… there it is," Ash continued sheepishly.
I glanced back down at the small round object in my hand and then back to Ash's eyes. He looked back into mine with happiness dancing around in them.
"Thanks… Ash…" I managed to get out. Ash's eyes widened suddenly and he looked a little shocked. I just stared back at him in confusion.
"What?" I asked him bluntly, the appreciation gone from my voice. He blinked again like I had just snapped him out of a trance.
"It's just… you've never called me by my name before. It's always been 'loser' or 'idiot'," Ash said. Realizing that that was indeed what I had just said to him, I blushed and looked away from his face, closing my eyes so he couldn't see the embarrassment in them.
"Paul… are you… blushing?" I heard him ask. I felt him scoot closer and, against my will, my blush deepened. We were mere centimeters apart.
"Hn… of course not… only losers blush," I said, trying to get him to move away a little bit so my face could return to its natural temperature.
Suddenly, a warm, soft hand pressed against my face, making my eyes shoot open. Ash giggled from beside me.
"It's feels like you're blushing. You're awfully warm," Ash smiled. I had to get out of this. I turned to him and scowled but my blush stayed present. His smile suddenly dropped and he scowled as well.
"This'll probably sound really cliché, but if you keep scowling like that, your face will get stuck that way. Why don't you try a different expression for once?" Ash teased. I just made my scowl even deeper (if possible.) He didn't do anything for a moment, but then his face lit up with an idea.
"Well, if you won't change your expression…" Ash paused and caught my shoulders, "I guess I'll have to change it for you."
I couldn't even process what happened. All I knew was that right now, at this very moment, I was actually in Ash's arms. I was too shocked to move for a moment. But after a few seconds, the initial shock wore off and my arms began to move around Ash's lithe body. Once my arms had completely curved around him, my eyes closed in contentment. The over-powering feeling of attraction made my arms tighten around him. I felt him tighten his arms around me also, making me blush. I scooted even closer to where our legs were zigzagged together. I felt my blush return as neither of us made a move to separate.
Without really wanting to, we separated and looked deep into each others eyes. I must have looked pretty silly with a blush completely taking over my face.
"See? Was that so hard?" Ash laughed. I just blinked in response. He giggled a little then spoke again.
"Ya know…" he started, "you're actually kinda cute when you blush."
Without even thinking it was possible, my blush deepened. Ash busted out laughing, falling back on the ground and holding his stomach.
"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" I yelled at him. My pride had taken a huge blow and I felt stupid for ever even thinking that he really wanted to be with me.
"Y-You! You're what's funny! I've never seen you so… so embarrassed! It's so… so… funny!" Ash said through laughs. I was so mad at him right now, I didn't even hesitate in bringing his shoulders up from the ground and pulling his face inches from mine. I was prepared to make him just as – if not more – embarrassed as I had felt. Ash stopped laughing and his breathing hitched.
I pulled his face close, pressing his lips to mine. I don't know how Ash was feeling, but I was in heaven. His lips were soft, warm, and inviting. I had never kissed anyone nor been kissed, but I instantly loved the feeling of it.
Not really wanting to, but also not wanting to make this any more awkward, I was just about to pull away when suddenly, I felt a pair of hesitant lips begin to respond. I never in a million years expected it, but Ash actually began to kiss back. He melted into me and I fell in sync.
After a few moments, we slowly began to part and looked into each others passion-filled eyes. His face was completely taken over with a blush and his mouth was hanging open a bit. He cleared his throat a bit and then spoke.
"What… was that for?" Ash asked shakily, his breath hitting my face. It smelled like mint, which was quite nice. We were still only inches apart from each other.
"I-I… was… trying to make you… embarrassed," I almost whispered.
"Well…" Ash began, "congratulations." He smiled. I smiled back.
Suddenly, the over-whelming urge to laugh hit me like a bomb. I doubled-over and started laughing until my sides hurt. I'm not even sure why. After a few seconds, I heard Ash bust out laughing as well.
"W-why are you… laughing?" Ash asked through his own laughs.
"W-why are you laughing?" I asked back.
"You look so funny when you're embarrassed!" we answered simultaneously.
Soon, he was on the ground beside me, hunched over in laughter. After a moment, though, our unreasonable laughter began to subside and we lay beside each other on the cool grass. We watched as the stars twinkled in the sky when Ash spoke again.
"Hey Paul…" Ash said from beside me.
"Hm?" I questioned. He seemed to hesitate and then rethink what he was about to ask me.
"… Never mind… it's dumb…" Ash said, turning away from me.
I gently grabbed his shoulders and turned him back towards me. I felt his breathing hitch and saw a small blush creep onto his face.
"Come on. What were you going to say?" I asked gently. Ash blushed a little from the close contact, but quickly shook it off and sighed.
"I just thought that if you could trust me now… I was… just going to ask if… you maybe wanted… to… travel with me… er, us," Ash stuttered. I caught the 'me' in his sentence, which made me smile widely. I chuckled.
"Sure. I do think I can trust you. And I also think that it would be… fun. That is… if your friends don't mind," I said.
"Oh, trust me. They won't," Ash said with a mischievous look on his face.
I smirked and wrapped an arm around Ash's small shoulders, bringing him as close to me as possible. I blushed furiously, thankful that Ash couldn't see my face.
"Thanks," I said, breaking the silence. Ash looked up at me with a confused expression.
"For?" he inquired.
"For helping me let go. I just didn't know how, but what you said really broke through to me. I'm glad I came here tonight," I sighed, closing my eyes in content. I felt Ash snuggle closer to me.
My heart skipped a few beats.
The end! I hope you guys liked this as well! This is the last official chapter. Thank you guys so much for reading/faving/reviewing.