Title: Staying Awake to Chase a Dream [2/2]
Author: rainbowpuzzle
Rating: PG
Length: 1,415 words for this part
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, side Brittany/Santana
Spoilers: Quinn's storyline from season 1
Summary: Future fic. Response to the prompt at rq_meme :Rachel and Quinn are ready for kids, and Quinn really wants to adopt.
Disclamer: I own nothing, just borrowing from Ryan Murphy and FOX. And from Muse.
Author's note: I was inspired to write this while listening to Muse's beautiful song "Falling Away With You". The title is a lyric from that amazing song. Thanks to my beta hymnsuponourlips back at LJ who helped me a lot :)

Comments are welcome and much appreciated :D

It's been so difficult this last couple of months.

You told me you want to adopt, that there are so many children who need love and affection that there really is no use in paying the insane amount of money Santana and Brittany did to finally get pregnant with the boys. And I agreed with you, because I know how happy and relieved you were when you knew Beth had a loving family that was able to offer her so much of what you couldn't. So we happily searched for adoption agencies and made plans and stayed up late night after night imagining our life with the baby. But we forgot that we live in a mean, hateful world.

The advantage to Britt and Santana's option was that they didn't have to deal with the paperwork and the cruel comments of the social services. They didn't have to undergo test after test to see if they're fit to be parents just because they are both women. They didn't have to bear being rejected twice for an adoption. They didn't have to bear losing their baby to another couple who was less busy or more 'normal' than them.

"Miss Berry and Miss Fabray, we know how busy both of you are. Miss Fabray, you spend most of the time at the hospital, you're one of the best and most sought after pediatric surgeons on the East Coast. Miss Berry, everybody knows you practically live on Broadway. We're worried that you will not have enough time to offer a child the care he or she deserves. I'm very sorry." And in spite of our protest and my threats to sue them, the woman deemed us 'unqualified' to be parents. We barely made it home before breaking down and crying and holding each other until the tears couldn't come out anymore.

The second time was worse. We had passed our first tests and it was so close. We were so close to holding that little boy in our arms and taking him home. But then a scowling man came and shattered our dream again.

"I'm sorry, but this boy cannot be raised properly without a father figure." And we were rejected again. Before he left, he made sure to mutter "You know you'll never adopt because God will not allow an innocent child be subjected to that perverse environment." He sounded so much like Quinn's estranged father that we were too shocked to retort and threat to sue him. And once again, we went home with our hearts broken and our hopes dashed.

You were so ready to give up hope and you buried yourself in your work. You would stay at the hospital and sleep there and take shift after shift until you could no more. I watched you pull away slowly and I was afraid. Afraid that not only we lost the chance to have a baby, but also the chance to be happy together. So I had to do something. I had to take a break from the stage and focus on making us a family. My agent, my cast-mates, my dads, my fans, even you, you all yelled at me and told me I was crazy. But I had to do this or I would lose you.

"Baby, let's try once more. Just this once. I promise we'll meet all the requirements and they'll see what great mothers we will be." I begged.

"No…I can't do this again. I just can't…" you cried slowly.

"Please... Just once more, honey. We've got everything set up this time. Enough time, father figure, enough money, they can't pick on anything. They can't deny us forever because we're gay. This time we'll really sue them. I'll do anything I can in this world just to be approved for an adoption. We'll fight them, you know we can win." My mind was reeling, I had to bring out all the big guns or else you wouldn't budge. I know the heartache had been excruciating but we couldn't give up. Not now.

So then we went back and tried again. I held your hand throughout the whole thing, feeling you shiver and tense.

"Congratulations, Miss Berry and Miss Fabray. You're the proud parents of this delightful little girl." We cried again this time, but now they were tears of joy, of relief and we knew that we made it, we were going to have our baby just like we had dreamed. When we brought her home and put her in her soft and fluffy crib, I still couldn't get my mind to process what had happened. Little Lucy was the newest member of the Fabray-Berry family and it was the best thing that had ever happened to us.

I'm still processing it now, after more than 3 months. I look at you cradling her and sitting in the rocking chair and the soft smile on your face is worth more than any Tony, Oscar, and hell worth more than the whole EGOT thing. I'm so happy I was able to give you what you wanted. What I had come to want also.

I hear footsteps outside our apartment and I go to the door to open it.

"Carlos, I told you to stop running on the stairs!" Santana's voice could be heard in the stairway.

"Si, mama, I just want to be the first up!" the little boy answered out of breath. He appears in the doorway and latches on to my legs.

"Auntie Rachel!" I ruffle his hair and pull him up in a hug.

"Hey there, little man!" A few moments later, another pair of small hands grab my sweatpants as Nicky, the other twin, wants my attention. Somehow I manage to raise him up in my arms and bring both boys into the apartment.

"Jesus, Rachel, they're gonna break your back! They're four, not babies!" Santana's scowling face appears at the door, followed by Brittany who smiles broadly.

I welcome them in and put the twins down, to the relief of my upper body. Brittany takes off their shoes and jackets and they run in the direction of the nursery.

"They're quite the handful" I observe and Santana snorts.

"Wait till your little angel grows up. If she'll be anything like you and Quinn, then you'll be having a handful too. " I laugh and imagine Lucy doing a diva storm-out after a long rant. We follow the boys into the nursery where you've put her back into her crib and the boys are staring curiously at her. You wave at Brittany and Santana and sit back down in the rocking chair motioning me to sit in your lap. I walk over to you and sit down, kissing you on the cheek, then on the lips. Santana puts down the presents they bought for Lucy (which they buy every time they come visit, even if we told them not to) and Brittany goes to pick up Lucy.

"Hey there princess!' she coos. "Look who's here! It's your big cousins and your aunties. " She gently rocks Lucy in her arms before sitting down with her, the boys gathering around her. "Your mommies love you so much, little ladybug. Mommy Rachel will sing to you so you can have sweet dreams all the time and Mommy Quinn will chase the bad away and make sure you never get sick." I look at you and you have tears in your eyes.

"And you know who I am, right? I am Auntie B who will teach you all the great dance moves as soon as you start walking. And that over there is Auntie S who will make sure to buy as many pretty presents as she can. Right, Auntie S"? Santana smiled and nodded slowly. She was a secret sap, though it was not so much of a secret anymore.

"And this here is Nicky, who will teach you how to ride a bike and play ball with them."

"And Charlie will chase you up the stairs all the time." Santana added with a chuckle.

I honestly believe this is what heaven looks like. The two of us, more in love than ever, with our beautiful daughter and with our best friends and their adorable boys.

"I'll chase her down the stairs too!" Charlie exclaimed with conviction and the mushy spell was broken, leaving place to laughter and jokes and games.

I think our lives have just begun.