Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters involved. No copyright infringement intended.

A/N: I'm on a roll. I don't know where it came from but...baby, I like it! They way you move on the floor! Haha, great song. Anyhoo, here's chapter tres for ya. Hope all ya'lls enjoy.

Just a reminder: Whoever reviews will get a sneak peek of the next chapter.

Chapter 3

Suicide

"Alice," I shuttered, "I can't do it."

"Bella, everything is going to be fine…Rose should be here with the bodies any minute now."

"No, no!" I stuttered. I cowered further into the seat, trying to shrink myself so small that I would disappear. When Alice revealed that we would be using real dead bodies to substitute for us, I had refused to have any part of it. Just the thought of people having to die so I could live on with my life tore me up inside. I couldn't have any stranger dying for my sake. It wasn't right or human, and I was still trying to hold on to some piece of that.

"They're already dead, Bella," she reassured just as a red Mercedes pulled up. "They were nobodies who died of natural causes. They didn't have family or anything. Not a single person will realize their gone."

I grasped on to any excuse I had. "But what about your Viper, I mean, don't you love this thing?"

"Of course not," she scoffed. "I bought this at a last minute thing, right before we moved back here."

"I shouldn't be here," I mumbled. "I'm just more trouble for you guys. I should just leave everyone alone…"

"Bella, don't ever say that! Edward loves you; you're part of the family now." She opened her door and walked into the rain. I watched through the windshield as she and Rosalie quietly and quickly conversed. Rosalie walked to the back of her car to the trunk and popped it open, Alice gestured for me to get into the red car parked in front of us.

I got out and wrapped my arms around myself just as the thunder cracked above our heads. I stood on the side of the road that headed to Cullen's home. It was the perfect location for a car accident, especially if someone hydroplaned and crashed right into one of the trees. I instantaneously shivered and slowly walked to the Mercedes' passenger door. Alice and Rose carried two large objects, each one close to our sizes, and set them in the car's seats, strapping the seatbelts on. I observed as Alice moved things around in the car and Rose messed around in the hood of the car.

It'll be fine. The bodies will burn so bad that no one will even be able to tell it was us by the dental records. We can disappear off of the face of the earth; you can become someone you never were before.

Alice's voiced echoed through my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make this whole situation vanish into thin air.

I was so concentrated that a tap on the window made me jump. Edward's face peered in at me and my whole body relaxed. I slipped out of the car and right into his arms, wanting to never let go. He pulled me into the forest, under the trees for refuge. We turned to the road just as the Viper lost control, running right into a large tree. Alice quickly climbed out as the whole car caught fire and dashed to where Rose's car was waiting. Soon enough, they sped off toward their home.

In Edward's arms, I watched the fire engulf the piece of metal.

Another transformation was taking place.

The irony of the thought struck me hard as I imagined myself being taken over by flames. Edward's arms tightened around me and I realized I had started to sob tearlessly.

"Come," he whispered in my ear, "we have to get home."

We carefully made our way back to the Cullen property, buying our time. We never said a word to each other, Edward sensing I needed to think and collect myself.

By the time we reached the open area that was the backyard, we were drenched. My clothes were soaked and I would be shivering if I were still human. The rain had no affect on me though.

Edward held the door open for me and I stepped into the warm room. Everyone's eyes fixated on us and I knew what I had to say. I pushed the wet hair out of my face, straightening my back. I felt Edward stand behind me as support.

"I just wanted to thank you all for what you've sacrificed for me tonight," I said, meeting everyone's eyes. "And I wanted to apologize for everything I've put you through."

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak but I held my hand up to stop him.

"I owe you guys for everything and I plan to repay you, somehow." I sighed and bit my lip. "I promise from this point on, I will never make you do something for me."

Edward grasped my hand as we made our way to our bedroom to change. I went straight to the bathroom, staring at my alien reflection. I was still trying to get used to my appearance. The contacts had dissolved in the venom sometime so now my piercing red eyes stared back at me. Edward stood behind me, rubbing my arms.

"I'm sorry." He leaned down and placed a kiss on my neck. I sighed at his touch, closing my eyes. I leaned into him, somewhat exhausted. His arms snaked around my waist.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. And it's not like I hate you now or something," I mumbled.

"You should."

I regained my posture and rolled my eyes, picking up a glass decoration off the counter. "Don't be ridiculous Edward. In few years, everyone I know will be dead and I won't have to be in hiding anymore."

I set the decoration down with a little too much strength, smashing it into delicate little pieces. Edward pulled me away from the mess and right into his arms. I gripped onto his shirt, holding on like it was the life of me as I tried to hold myself in from falling into pieces, just like the glass decoration. He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face so that I was looking at him. I could tell that he was mourning with me.

"Edward," I softly intoned, "take me away."

His placed his lips upon mine, dragging me in for a long kiss. I meant what I said and unbuttoned his shirt quickly. I was trying to move swiftly enough so he wouldn't notice and reached down to where his pants were, undoing them as fast as I could. In time, he was just standing in his boxers.

Next I tugged the soaked sweater I had on, off. In just my bra, I could feel his body next to mine. He pulled me closer to him, causing my body to curve against his. Hastily I shimmied off my bottoms. Then so quickly that I barely noticed what was going on, I was pinned against the wall. Edward's hands were like shackles on my wrist as I stared at him in surprise.

"We've already discussed this, Bella," he said, warning me.

I wriggled my wrists out of his grip and slouched to the floor. "Right."

He sat next to me and grabbed onto my hand. "Do you know how irresistible you are, love? I would have my way with you right now if I could…but I want to do this at least properly."

"But why?" I asked, exasperated. "We have forever…"

"Precisely, which is why I think we should get married."

My throat constricted. "What about my parents? I wanted them to be there…"

"We'll think of something, Bella," he whispered. Suddenly he was concentrated on something, his face twisted as he listened to something. I tried the same thing when I realized that it was more of a mind-reading listening. He stood up, taking me in the process. "Take a shower and get dressed."

Without questioning, I did what I was told and not just because Edward is always right but because I wanted some time to think.

I stepped into the spraying water in relief. The steam rolled around me like a curtain.

I tried to push the thought of my parents at my funeral, crying for me, away. It was too hurtful to think about and I just couldn't stand doing that to them. Instead, I would try to think about something else…

Vanessa. I had never met the girl in my whole life and yet she looked familiar. And my attraction to her was completely uncanny. It was like I wanted to drink her dry but I had to keep her safe…I had to protect her from something. What could that mean?

And then Edward wanting to get married…I was definitely in love with him, so what was holding me back? I would do anything just to be with him. I had hoped the transformation being a little later down the line, but now I didn't care. It was just going to be me and him, and I sure as hell would make sure of it. Marriage though…it just seemed too soon. What about my age too? I was barely seventeen. Would he be willing enough to wait a year? It would officially make us man and wife, a happy couple. I didn't need a kid if I was going to be with him for the rest of my existence.

I was just beginning to warm up to the idea when a rap came on the door, hurrying me up. I finished up quickly and through on a towel, dashing to the closet to change. My next ensemble was a designer shirt with simple jeans. It was comfortable and homey. Edward was waiting for me when I finished.

He braced himself. "Ready?"

I nodded and grabbed onto his hand. We descended the stairs steadily and nervously. Carlisle stood in the middle of the living room, staring at his cell phone while everyone carefully watched him.

"Jesus, just make the damn call," Rose muttered. Quite a few people shot her a dirty look, but I wasn't one of them. I couldn't help but agree.

Carlisle quickly punched in my home phone number. Everyone strained to hear what was happening on the other line.

"Hello," Charlie answered gruffly.

"Yes, Chief Swan?"

"This is he."

Carlisle cleared his throat and looked at me. "I was wondering if Alice had headed back yet. She called me a while ago telling me she was coming home, bringing Bella and they should've been here already."

"They're not there?" my father asked in disbelief. I could hear my mother ask what was wrong on the other line.

"Oh dear…" Carlisle said, feigning shock. "Me and the boys will take a drive down the road; see if we can find anything."

"Yeah, yeah…I'll send some of my men out." There was a click as he hung up.

Carlisle looked at us gravely. "Well, Jasper…Emmett, let's head out."

Emmett twirled a set of car keys in his hand. He smiled at me. "We'll be back before you know it. It'll all go so smoothly, you'll believe it's actually happening."

"Emmett," Rose hissed.

I smiled solemnly back. "Thanks Em."

We all watched the guys leave, frozen to our seats. When the door shut, I could barely hear any of us breathing. I fidgeted with the frayed pocket on my jeans, trying to distract myself. The television was in the background with the latest news. Esme watched it carefully, showing no emotion on her face. Rose and Alice looked over a fashion portfolio. And Edward sat stiffly at my side.

Finally after a half hour, Edward was the first to speak.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked me quietly. Everyone's eyes drifted to us and then away promptly.

I debated over my thirst and then looked at him. "Are my eyes black?"

"They're a darker red," he said with a shrug. I knew what he was trying to do - help me get my mind off of everything and outside where I could breathe. I thankfully smiled at him and stood up, walking right to the back door. He followed and when he reached outside, we booked it for the safe haven of the trees.

When we were quite a distance when we decided to slow down. He started to climb trees idly, swinging on the branches. I walked below him, trying to smell in the rain and keep an ear out for any movement nearby. Finally something caught my attention and Edward must have taken note too because he dropped down and began to prowl in that direction.

We came upon a small herd of does. They didn't notice us as we stalked them behind the trees. Edward was the first to attack, forcing me to go after one too before they completely scattered. We both took one down quickly and began to satiate our thirst. It put out the flame, but it wasn't exactly what I was craving for. When I finished, I stepped away from the carcass and stared at the unmoving creature with eyes that gazed at nothing. I took a deep breath, inhaling the mixture of the rain and earth, clearing my mind of all things.

Edward stepped in front of me, cupping my cheek. He smiled. "They're already losing the red."

"Really?"

He nodded. "You won't be so captivating anymore…which is a good thing because I'm still not ready to take you out into public."

I laughed. "Don't worry. It'll be a year before I even leave the forest let alone your house. I don't want to hurt anyone."

He grinned and ran a hand through his tousled hair. "You have amazing control, love. You did exceptionally well at your parents."

"You have too much faith in me," I pointed out. "I'm still all new to this. I'm afraid that any second I could snap like a twig and rampage the town, murdering innocent people for my selfishness. It's hard to take this all in…"

"You'll get better in time," he soothed. "For now, we should just focus on trying to get this whole mess figured out." He paused and then looked at me, musing. "You know, I still can't read your mind."

I looked at him in surprise. "Why not?"

"I'm not sure," he muttered. "I had hoped that when you were changed, it would break down the barrier but now that you're immortal, I think it's just stronger. It's like you're a shield."

"A shield…" I repeated to myself.

"Yes, there are very few of them. Some can project it, protecting others in the process or so I've seen in Carlisle's head. There was one in the Volturi who would protect Aro. Of course she had to stay in contact with him the whole time."

"How'd they find her?"

"The Volturi have recruits…they're taken back to Italy and then they give a vampire the opportunity to join the army."

"What happens if they refuse?"

"Hard to say, the situation is different sometimes."

We fell into silence, strolling underneath the trees in content.

"Edward," I spoke up just as a question popped into my mind, "do you think that I could possibly learn how to do that? Projecting my shield, I mean."

He thought to himself. "We could try…but I can't promise anything."

"Thank you," I said and reached on my toes to give his cheek a peck.

He smiled at me warmly.

My non-beating heart soared as my plan started to unravel. If I couldn't figure out how to repay the Cullens, I could just offer a lifetime of protection. I would be with Edward the whole time and keeping my new family safe. It would work out perfectly.

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward's cell phone ringing. He flipped it open with barely a glance at the screen.

"Carlisle," he greeted.

"The bodies are being taken to the coroner. They weren't recognizable and you can hardly tell that the vehicle was ever a car. Charlie just showed up with Renee and a girl. I already informed Esme to start planning the funeral," I heard Carlisle say.

Edward nodded. "Okay. But what about Bella and -"

"You and Bella should stay somewhere else for a bit, just to make sure. Alice made reservations at a hotel in Olympia and has your suitcases ready for you. Lord knows you need to get away for a bit."

"Thank you Carlisle," he breathed. "We owe you."

They hung up and Edward looked at me.

"I just hate putting you guys through this…" I frowned and looked at the debris beneath me.

"I was lonely for over a century Bella with no one to love until I found you. My family's going to do anything in their power to keep us together," he explained softly.

"But I just cause problems. It's like bad luck follows me everywhere I go. My life used to be perfect."

He wrapped an arm around me. "Maybe I was your bad luck."

I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"But one thing's for sure: something's only perfect when we decide to over look our imperfections. They were there Bella, just not big enough for you to notice because you were happy."

I thought about it and realized he was right. The situation I was in was just another test of life. And when Edward and I went away to disappear from the world for a period of time, I knew I would be happy again. My parents would always be in my heart and I in theirs. It was time to let go of my old life and move ahead with my new one.

I beamed at him as I had this epiphany and kissed him. "This is why I'm in love with you."

He laughed. "Does that mean you're ready to marry me?"

"Eh, not exactly," I said.

"It was worth a try," he mumbled with his irresistible crooked grin.