Disclaimer: As always, Stephenie owns everything.

Additional disclaimer: If you have not done so already, please read the one shot entitled "Letters" in the story Mumbled Mumblings. I don't want any surprises here. So... carry on.

Thanks to IAmToWait for beta-ing and making these words better.

Bella,

I want to be sorry for enlisting, I really do… but it's so hard to be. I wanted to do what was right for my country. I needed to. I didn't know how much it would come between us.

She sat on the end of her bed clutching an old stuffed bear, her eyes glued to the television. It had been almost a month since the attacks on the World Trade Center but every station was still playing the events over and over again. She couldn't help but get wrapped up in it each time it came on. Though Bella had never been particularly patriotic it still broke her heart to think of the thousands of lives lost and everyone who lost family, too.

"Hi," Edward's voice was quiet as he entered the room. He sat behind her and positioned her between his legs so he could wrap his arms protectively around her. His lips found the back of her neck, just below the mess of brown curls she'd carelessly thrown into a ponytail.

"It's so awful," she whispered as she leaned into his body, letting his presence soothe and comfort her the way that it always did. "All those people are gone."

"They're talking about a war, you know," Edward said as he pulled her ponytail down and combed his lithe fingers through her hair. "That's what my dad says, anyways."

"I don't want to hear about it," Bella sighed and turned so she could bury her face in his shirt. The familiar scent of his soap helped to ground her and she was able to drown out the images from the television that she'd seen so many times it felt like they were ingrained in to her brain now. He held her tightly and fell backward onto the bed with their arms and legs still entwined.

Edward knew what he wanted to do. No, he knew what he had to do. Thousands of people had died and he wanted to do something about it. He wanted to help. He wanted to be part of the solution.

"I'm thinking about signing up." Edward's voice was so low it could hardly be counted as a whisper. More like his breath made a noise that somehow sounded like words and the first crack of her fragile heart breaking at the same time.

"Don't you dare say that!" Bella released herself from his arms and sat up so she could see his face. She'd hoped that he would be smiling or even laughing, but he wasn't. His face was not set, not an ounce of hardness was there. Instead were the emerald eyes of a compassionate boy who didn't know what he was getting himself into.

"Tell me you're joking Edward," she said through clenched teeth.

When he didn't answer, she closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

"Edward, please. Please tell me you're joking," she whispered as tears threatened to spill behind her closed eyelids.

He didn't answer again and she forced her eyes open. Edward was sitting up next to her, his eyes focused on the television.

"Everyone's always pushed me to go to med school, did you know that?" He asked her, his voice as far off as his thoughts.

"Of course they have, Edward. It's what you want, too." She brushed her fingers through his hair, trying to bring him back to her.

"It's not." His voice was flat but his eyes were blazing as he turned to her. "I want to help people. People who can't afford it. And in the Army… I can do that."

"Edward, what are you saying? You've already looked into this? Without asking me?" Bella was hurt as she asked him, hoping for an answer different than the one he gave.

"I signed the papers this morning. I leave the day after Thanksgiving."