Disclaimer: Steph owns everything.

Thanks to my pretty IAmToWait.

XOXO

My Bella,

It's amazing how much you invade my thoughts. Amazing and scary and not at all surprising.

Edward left Bella with her ribbon tied tightly around his wrist and a smile on his face. He'd received his orders before graduation. He was to be stationed in Texas for schooling. They called his position a "Combat Medic." The term itself made Bella's stomach churn with worry.

Bella sent him off with salty kisses and a list of reasons why she loved him.

#8: Anytime I chew the fruity Trident gum, I think of the first time you kissed me.

He smiled and tucked the list back into his breast pocket with her ribbon. Things had been especially rough for him today. Pictures of bodies and houses and… everything. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe med school would have been better for him. He could take care of sick kids and drive a BMW like his dad. He could marry Bella and live in the suburbs. He could do all of that, right?

No.

He signed the papers.

He'd do his time.

Bella was proud of him and that's what mattered.

"Cullen!" He heard his name called as he trudged back to his barracks. He turned slowly, hoping it wasn't a superior as he was still unsure how to act around them.

"Yeah?" He kept walking as his friend jogged to keep up.

"We're going out tonight, you in?" Edward shrugged and looked at his watch. Bella would be getting out of class soon.

"Um… I guess? I'm not twenty-one so…" His friend laughed loudly as Edward's voice was lost in the dark parking lot outside their barracks.

"You have a military ID. That's all you need." The guy, Collins, slugged Edward on the shoulder as they entered the building and parted ways at the top of the stairs. "See you at eight?"

Edward nodded and went to his room. The twin bed was hard and cold, nothing like Bella's twin in her dorm room. Of course, she wasn't in it with him. He set his phone on the dresser and waited for her call.

But it never came.

So he left.

Edward met Collins at eight o'clock and they made their way to a bar in the small Texas town. Collins was right: Edward didn't need to be twenty-one to get in, or drink for that matter.

He also didn't need to be twenty-one to gain the attention of girls.

They were pretty.

And older.

And not Bella.

As he waited impatiently for the phone in his pocket to buzz, he talked with one of them. Lauren. He remembered her name was Lauren. She was tan and blond with big blue eyes, the exact opposite of Bella. Edward couldn't wait to get away from her.

"I miss you," he breathed into the phone.

"Where are you?" Bella's voice made his chest ache.

"I'm out. I miss you," he repeated, needing her to know that he wasn't thinking about anyone but her.

"I wish I were there with you." Her words cut through him, searing down to his soul.

"I know. But you need to be there. You need to go to school, Bella." She sniffed quietly on the other end of the line and he sighed. Edward found a quiet spot outside and stayed on the phone with Bella until his friends came piling out of the bar. He whispered his love to her quickly and hung up.

"Where've you been, Cullen?" One of the other soldiers clapped Edward on the back as he joined the group.

"Phone call," Edward muttered quietly.

"This late? To who?" A girl's voice sounded through the small group and Edward recognized the girl to whom he'd been talking.

Edward thought for a moment as everyone's eyes turned to him. While in basic training, all the other guys could talk about was how many girls they would get, how ladies loved a man in uniform. Edward never commented because he didn't need to pick up girls. He had Bella and he would never need a cheesy pick up line or have a first date again. But Edward also needed friends and he didn't want to be teased like he had seen done to the others. He wasn't "pussy-whipped" or any of the other things that the guys had been called, but he didn't want to take the chance. He had endured enough teasing when her letters came and when he got to make phone calls.

"My mom. It's not as late in Washington," he said and he hoped they couldn't hear the guilt dripping from his voice.

Edward knew what he said wasn't fair to Bella. He knew it the moment the words fell from his stupid mouth and he saw the girl's eyes light up. But he didn't correct himself. Instead, he shoved his hands in his pockets where he found Bella's ribbon and fingered the frayed edge.

Slowly but surely, it was beginning to unravel and one sharp tug was sure to be the end of it. Bella didn't know that the tug would come in four very small but significant words just a couple of weeks later.

"I'm going to Iraq."