Part 8: In which Germany has an Awesome time

There sat brave Germany, warrior of Europa, amidst snow and ice as the treacherous winds of the underworld bit and tore at his exposed flesh for even the North Wind, General Winter, held nothing next to the freezing might of the winds belonging to the dead. Frozen and fearing, great Germany stood, for though the plains looked desolate and abandoned the dead lurked in every corner and fearsome creatures belonging below the land of all things alive stalked the rugged snow capped world. And so brave Germany walked, for there was nothing else the mortal could do but brave the elements though he did not know the way through for traps and pits laid concealed amongst the underworld.

Then, just as great Germany had feared, he heard a fearsome roar thunder through the still air. And as the warrior turned his head so saw he the bright red eyes of an underworld creature come ever closer. Then did Germany turn and flee from the creature blindly, and only fortune kept him from stepping into a trap, but as he ran and as the creature grew closer great Germany recalled the gift Austria had bestowed upon him that he held in his pouch. Fumbling, the great warrior reached in and the winged sandals of Austria fluttered out. Of their own accord, the sandals of an immortal wrapped themselves upon his wearied feet, his own footwear having long since fallen to the snow.

And so did Germany then lift into the air, body light and weightless, and none too soon, as the thwarted creature roared in anger as the swipe of its massive limb full of claws missed the mortal. With hope that the messenger god's shoes held more direction than the swift god himself, for surely the shoes that lead the souls of mortals to the underworld would know the path back, did Germany than fly swifter than the chilly winds that he flew past. And the winged sandals led him past the land that inhabited the souls of the damned, past the lands of the gloried, past all lands of the dead and into the brilliant sunlight of Italy's chariot as he circled the globe.

Germany basked in the warmth as he emerged from the cave to sit upon a rock, relishing his return to the world of the living. And so, just as brave Germany, heroic warrior, bent to remove the sandals of swift Austria a loud voice interrupted the quiet, startling the stoic mortal from his perch:

"Eh? Are those from the bastard Austria? He gave you a gift before me? Those wussy sandals? I, Prussia, will give you something much more awesome than winged sandals!"

And lo, as Germany straightened from where he lay upon the firm earth he raised his head to behold the white clad god of War, his iron cross emblem emblazoned in black upon his dress, his fierce red eyes flashing from beneath a fringe of platinum hair.

"Unforgivable! I am far too awesome to have come after that stuck up aristocrat Austria, always flying about on his fancy shoes. I was even going to come when you were snoozing with little Italy, but it was not to be. Crazy woman, shit, my head still hurts. To make up for that wimpy gift, I have brought two gifts for you! Hah! Take that, Austria you prissy bastard!"

So saying, fierce Prussia presented in one hand a shield that shone silver, gleaming more brilliantly than any Germany had ever seen, and in the other was clasped a spear whose tip shone so brightly that the tip disappeared for so sharp was the weapon:

"To you I give the shield of awesome might! It will defend you against anything and is impenetrable, and second, the spear of even more awesome might, able to pierce anything whether it be immortal or no! Crafted of the same material my iron cross is made, sculpted in the depths of Mt. Roma by…eh….who was it again…? No matter! Aren't my gifts awesome? Of course they are! You got them from me! I couldn't give my favored warrior anything less than the best, could I? I saw you on the battle field, and I fought beside you. So fierce and honorable, you were almost as awesome as me!"

Dumbstruck Germany, could only nod in agreement, words had been lost for fierce Prussia was truly that awesome. But without words, silent Germany could only watch as vengeful bright-eyed Hungary advanced upon fierce Prussia and upon the fierce god's brow fell a gleaming frying pan with such might that the great god of war fell unconscious. Fierce Hungary, bright-eyed goddess of love, picked up the limp war god with a single slender hand and hefted him upon one shoulder. Turning a gentle smile upon brave Germany she said:

"And so, my second act of aid has been given, saving you from this rambling god. Now go, for what you seek is very near. Through these very trees, in fact, lay the prize you need. So go through this foliage and claim your prize. I wish you the best of luck."

With that, bright-eyed Hungary disappeared, departing for the great peak of Mt. Roma

Notes:

(1) Poor Canada. He's always being forgotten.