Slightly shorter chapter for y'all today! Hopefully there'll be some more towards the end of the week. Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers, all constructive criticism/ feedback is greatly appreciated. Enjoy xxx

The girls were once again at a loss with what to say to the other, only this time they couldn't really have discussed it had they wanted to with their parents only a few steps, or a few seats in the car, away. The unusual silence between the girls did not go unnoticed, Heather and Robbie sneaking periodic glances between each other and the girls. They'd hoped that their odd behaviour would stop once they'd gotten some rest and had a chance to talk. Neither wanted to push them, figuring it would be better to wait for them to ask for their advice instead of sticking their noses in their business.

They arrived at Lilly's house first. Robbie and Heather got out of the car, glancing at each other, giving the girls a little privacy as they retrieved the bags. Miley and Lilly just looked at each other in silence. Lilly turned away first, reaching out her hand to open the car door when Miley gently grabbed her arm.

"Lilly wait..." Miley didn't want to leave things as they were. She had to say something, anything to reassure her that everything would be fine, even if she didn't truly believe that. Could things ever go back to 'normal' after something like that. Her head was all over the place and even after hours and hours replays and what ifs she was no closer to understanding where it came from or what it meant. The only thing she could do at this point was be totally honest. .."I don't know what to say..." Was the best she could come up with. She felt utterly pathetic.

"Look Miley, don't worry about it." Lilly tilted her friends head back up so she could look at her. Lilly seemed lost in thought for a second, like she was remembering something.."Hey I'm going to Pasadena to see my Dad for the weekend since I didn't get to see him on my birthday, so why don't we just say we'll take the weekend and talk about it on Monday alright."

Miley was actually relieved she'd be gone for a couple of days. It would be a million times easier to think about Lilly without having to be near her acting like everything was fine. Lilly for her part wasn't doing much better than Miley at trying to define what it was between them and a weekend apart would definitely help her answer all those burning questions that just seem to become more and more urgent the longer they went unanswered. Did she want a relationship with Miley? What would everyone say? What exactly would a relationship with another woman involve exactly? Men and women were easy. Insert a into b and boom the world is happy. All her life the entire world around her was designed to encourage men and women to be together, to pair up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. So why did Lilly suddenly feel like she didn't fit? Like the world was working on fitting together a flat picture of a bride and groom but she was now part of a 3D puzzle ball whose design remained unknown. Did she want to adopt a new lifestyle? Would she have to?

Ultimately it came down to just two questions. 1) Was she gay? And 2) What was she prepared to lose in order to try and be happy?

Miley broke Lilly out of her thoughts.

Miley seemed nervous. Looking anywhere but at Lilly. "Lilly, about what happened, you wont, you know, like, tell anyone will you?" Miley asked softly. After the dream she'd had on the plane she was actually genuinely afraid of how people might react and there was no way she could handle anyone's questions until she had a clear – non lilly filled – head.

Lilly nodded. "As far as I'm concerned it was between me and you and I want to keep it that way. It was just a stupid drunken mistake right. Best that we just forget about it." Lilly felt uneasy about that as soon as she said it. She didn't want Miley to feel she was embarrassed or ashamed , she just didn't want Miley to feel uncomfortable about it or around her. She thought that's what Miley wanted to hear.

Miley looked down again, the back of her eyes starting to sting a little, tears threatening to fall. Her heart felt like it was sinking right out of her body. 'Stupid Drunken Mistake'. She didn't know why she was so upset by this. Didn't she think the same? Wasn't it a stupid drunken mistake? She couldn't decide yet. She certainly didn't want to think of her first time in that way, and yes she did count it as her first time. It wasn't what she'd planed or expected but life so very rarely works out how you want it to. At least she knew what she had to do now. It was hard but it felt like her only option given the circumstances.

Regardless of how she felt or wanted or whether she'd ever have a 'normal' life Miley knew Lilly could, Lilly wanted that and she'd make sure she had it. Miley knew she had to protect her, even if it may hurt her friend in the short term and her even more in the long run. It was done. Lilly was right and she had to think of it in the same way. It was a one off. A silly teenage experiment. Neither of them were gay, they'd both said it. She had to accept that they'd never have a relationship, never have the happy moments she'd dreamt about, and this made her unbearably sad. She swallowed hard and forced herself to look at Lilly, giving her a forced smile, going into actress mode.

"Right. Thanks Lils. I'll see you Monday."

Lilly could see Miley was hiding something, putting up a front but couldn't tell why. Before she could press the issue Robbie walked back up to the car walking slowly, turning around a couple of times, evidently trying to decide if it was okay to come back to the car but was pretending he may have forgotten something. He sheepishly opened the driver's side door. "I'm really sorry to break this up guys but Mile's got a radio phone interview in about an hour and I think your Mom's waiting on you so she can order dinner."

Lilly looked at him. His face showing nothing but concern for them both. So much for their behaviour not giving away that something was up between them. "Uh thanks Mr S." She looked back to Miley. No change. "Bye Miley" she said softly, not wanting to say it.

Miley finally properly looked at her and she could see the struggle behind her eyes. She barely whispered "Bye." Lilly climbed out of the car but didn't stop looking at Miley. Something was way way off and it scared her. Why did that sound like she was saying bye for good. Once she closed the door she took one last look at Miley, seeing a single tear fall as Mr Stewart pulled away. Lilly stared after them. 'What have I done!'