Trials
Gilbert wondered if Oz could feel his hands shaking as they reached up to lightly touch his face. He wondered if he could feel how fast his heart was beating, how timid and uncomfortable he felt. The blonde's grip around his waist tightened, and he let out a small 'eep!' when he felt him caressing his back gently.
Oz pulled away, and Gilbert caught the sparkle of mischief in those flawlessly beautiful emerald orbs. Gilbert blinked, feeling his face heat up. Oz smiled, bumping his forehead against Gilbert's. "There you go; your first kiss. I'm happy I got to be the one to share it with you."
Again Gilbert made a small surprised sound when Oz kissed his cheek. Curling his arms up to his chest, he scooted back a few inches, away from his master. "But…" His voice failed him, and he cleared his throat to try again. Damn puberty. "But, Oz! You… You shouldn't have done that. It was inappropriate! I'm just a-…"
"A servant?" Oz finished the sentence for him. Gilbert was sure he sounded like a repetitive lunatic. How many times could he say that he was 'just a servant' in a day? Then again, how many times had Oz put him in situations where he had needed to say it?
Oz scooted closer to Gilbert and rested a hand on his knee. Gilbert put his fist to his lips and watched Oz through his bangs as he tried to ignore how hot Oz's hand felt, how the heat seemed to flow up and down his legs, making him wish-…
Oz sighed and fell backwards, long legs winding around Gilbert's crouched form. "Gil." He said, sounding a little irritated. "You are not 'just a servant'. Never have, never will be. You're my best friend."
Somewhere deep down, Gilbert knew that. He knew that all too well. And hearing it again made his heart flutter and ach at the same time. He wanted Oz to feel for him the same feelings he felt for Oz.
"Then, what was that?" Gilbert shocked himself into silence at his own sudden boldness. Best friends don't kiss.
He watched with widening eyes as a teasing smile crept onto Oz's face.
"What was what, Gil?"
"That! Just a few seconds ago you… you…" He couldn't say it, he was too damn shy.
Of course Oz didn't help the situation in the least. "'I…'? What did I do, Gil? I'm afraid I have no memory. Care the show me what it was that I did?"
He should have seen this one coming, but his heart sped up all the same. Gilbert swallowed several times, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in the back of his throat. The most that did was make him even more nervous. He must have looked like such a fool, curled into a ball, practically gasping for breath, while Oz looked as calm as could be.
A few moments passed.
"I'm waiting, Gil."
Was he bold enough for this? Apparently he was, because Gilbert leaned forward and pressed his lips against Oz's.
He was kissing his mast-… his friend. Not very well apparently, because Oz put his hands on Gilbert's shoulders to guide him through the kiss. Gilbert hoped that it was for real and not just Oz messing around, but of course he wouldn't say that. He just melted into the feeling of Oz's lips on his own and knew that he would never forget it.
...
Gilbert didn't know who the man above him was, and he didn't care. As long as this feeling never ended. His head was spinning; his lungs ached as they tried desperately to bring oxygen into his burning body.
He had been at a bar; dragged there by Vincent who wanted to see what is was like to drink with 'commoners'. Vincent was probably still in there, flirting with the girls and drinking cheap alcohol that he most likely couldn't taste. He probably had no idea that his older brother had taken only few sips before being swept away by a tall stranger.
"Look at you," the stranger whispered, eyes gleaming in the darkness. Through his foggy haze Gilbert could just see the outline of a face.
The man's grip on his thighs tightened as he gave another harsh thrust, and Gilbert threw his head back as pleasure mixed with the alcohol that was making his mind go blank. The only thing he knew was that he was close now; he could feel his lower stomach tightening as warmth flooded through it.
He started to squirm when the man stop his movements suddenly. "ne..ehhg~" he whimpered, trying to indicate what he wanted. Fingers grazed lightly across his cheek and he opened his burry, unfocused eyes. The man's face was so pale it practically glowed in the darkness. It was a beautiful sight, but those eyes that sparkled like dull rubies were unsettling. Gilbert didn't much care at the moment; he could feel the stranger, still inside him. He was so large that being still just made the pleasure fade into an uncomfortably painful stretching feeling.
Gilbert tired to move his hips. He had to release; he would surly go crazy if he didn't. But, the stranger had a firm hold of him. "Hold still for just one moment."
Hold still? How was he supposed to 'hold still' in a situation like this? Gilbert tried to bring words to the thought, but his mind and his mouth were not cooperating with one another and it just came out as another pathetic whimper.
The man above him chuckled darkly, and Gilbert opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling in amazement. Something was wrong, he could feel it. The air around the stranger had changed, and he swore the room around him had just grown darker. Or maybe he was just really, really drunk.
The stranger started moving again, faster, harder than before. It only took a few more thrusts for Gilbert to let out a scream as the tightness in his stomach loosened and he came. He felt heat explode from somewhere deep within him that must have been the other's release.
Gilbert's knees were shaking, his arm moved to cover his eyes as his body went slack. He was on the verge of passing out when he heard a distant shuffling sound, then felt cool breath over his face. He heard the stranger's voice in his ear, but could only make out a few phrases. "A wonderful night… Haven't had this much fun in a while… Will be sure to find you again…"
"Find… me….?" Gilbert managed to slur. But then all was quiet and somehow he knew he was alone just before he allowed sleep to overtake him.
...
"You…" Gilbert hissed, his vision blurring. His hand was shaking with rage as he pointed the gun at Alice. How could she be staring at him with such confusion as she knelt over the dead body of his master? "You… You did this!" He shrieked, voice cracking at the final words. He could see it – Oz's blood on her hands. He realized that it was on his, too.
Oz…
His master. His friend. His love.
Oz…
He had seen too much death to think that Oz would just stand up and smile at him like always. Oz was gone, and it was all her fault.
Alice stood up. "Seaweed head… What happened to Oz?"
Oz's blood stained her dress. There was even a splash of it on her face. Gilbert shook his head; a tear flying from the corner of his eye was he readied himself to pull the trigger.
"Shut up! You should at least realize what you've done… What you did to him…" Gilbert tried hard to gain control of himself. "He's gone because of you…" He whispered. The pain in his heart only fed his anger.
Alice looked down at Oz's body. He was just lying there, sprawled on the ground in a growing pool of his own blood.
How could I have let this happen? He was supposed to protect Oz.
If there was some shred of sanity left in Gilbert, he would have noticed how empty Alice's eyes were. He would have seen that she was in totally shock.
His finger was on the trigger. Now would be the perfect time; that barrel was pointed directly at the rabbit's heart. All he had to do was pull….
"Gilbert!" Break came out of nowhere, leaping in the way with his arms stretched out. Over his shoulder, Gilbert could see Alice; saw Sharon running to embrace her.
"Why did you stop me?" Gilbert growled. "Out of the way!"
"Gil…?"
Everyone froze. Pushing Break aside, Gilbert ran to his fallen master-s side. Oz's eyes were half open, and he watched weakly as he was lifted into Gilbert's arms.
"Gil. Gil, I…"
"Don't, Oz…" Gilbert whispered. "Please, don't speak."
Oz smiled. Smiled, and shook his head. "Sorry, Gil. I'm past that point. Gil…" He met Gilbert's eyes again. Gilbert held Oz's hand tightly in his, as if he could hold the boy's life in his dying body. "Gil, why…? Why did you fire at Alice?"
Gilbert's mind froze. Fired at Alice...? Pain sliced through him, and he doubled over, almost dropped Oz. The overwhelming sent of must and blood filled the room. Black feathers began to cascade down around them from a dark mass that obscured the whole ceiling. Raven laughed. "It was not him, Jack Vesailius." He said, his voice echoing. "It was me!"
"Enough of this…." Break waved his staff as Mad Hatter came up from the ground behind him. Break turned to his chain. "Get rid of it."
There was a screech and several flashed of purple light before the shadow disappeared. Gilbert looked down at Oz, his eyes burning. "I'm sorry…" He whispered. He held Oz close, one hand on the back of his head. More tears joined those on his face when he felt Oz's weak arms wrap around his shoulders. They stayed like that for a moment, then Oz shoved him off.
"Well then…" Oz smiled again. "I forgive you!" For a moment, he looked like the boy Gilbert had known in childhood….
And he was gone. His arms fell limp at his sides and the only light in Oz's eyes was a reflection of the lamps lining the walls.
Gilbert's shoulder's shook as he rocked Oz's body back and forth.
Behind him, Sharon cried softly into Break's shoulder. Break had one hand on the back on her head, stroking her hair lightly.
"Such a pity…" He muttered, not looking at his mistress, but at Gilbert and what remained of Oz.
"Break…" Sharon lifted her tear-streaked face to look up at Break. Then, she looked around. "Where's Alice?"
The girl-chain was nowhere in sight.
...
That night, Gilbert sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly into the fire. His pain had given over to numbness far too quickly, but he didn't care. After Oz died, everything was a blur. It had felt like no more than a second had passed before Oz's cold body was being pried from his arms by members of Pandora. He had fought at first, but had quickly given up; he was too weak to do any more fighting.
A short while later, Oscar had arrived. Gilbert couldn't look him in the face as he walking out of the room with Break at his shoulder.
"I'll never be able to…" Gilbert rasped, covering his face with his hand. His shoulder shook as he sobbed silently alone in the semi-dark.
He reached for his gun on his nightstand. Back slouched, he stared down at it. The firelight played over its metal surface.
How could he have used this to kill Oz?
How had he lost control over Raven?
He closed his eyes, and held the barrel of the gun to his temple.
All I have to do is pull the trigger…
His hands didn't shake. "I deserve to go to Hell!"
"Then, Gilbert, to Hell you shall go." The fire went out, and Gilbert was thrown into a thick darkness. He could make out the outline of a tall figure standing in front of him. Gilbert lowered the gun and stared.
"Who are you?"
The figure chuckled, and Gilbert's spine tingled.
"You must not remember…" The fire flared back to life. The man's shadow was cast over Gilbert. He had a pale, inhumanly-beautiful face framed by uneven locks of hair that put the darkest night to shame. And his eyes… He had eyes like dull rubies.
Gilbert should have been terrified. He would have been if he had been able to feel.
"Remember that night? It was, what, five years ago now?"
Slowly, Gilbert nodded. He did remember. Not completely, but he knew he recognized those eyes from somewhere.
"You were that man at the bar."
The dark man nodded.
"You... said you would find me again."
"And indeed I did."
"Who are you?" Gilbert asked again. Before the man could answer, he added, "and what did you mean when you said 'to Hell I shall go'?"
"I am Sebastian." Said the ruby-eyes man. "And I shall be your escort, your hand to lead you in darkness."
At this point, everything that Gilbert once knew had been upheaved. This man was either a hallucination or… something else. Either way, Gilbert planned to end his life by the end of the night.
The sunlight is gone… There is no more golden radiance.
Gilbert bent his head so that his bangs were over his eyes. His whole body shook as he clenched his fists hard enough to make his palms bleed.
Cool fingers traced over his cheek and along his jaw bone. Sebastian tilted Gilbert's head upward so that their faces were inched apart from one another. "Will you allow me to escort you through the gates of Hell?" He asked, his eyes flashing. He held on of Gilbert's bleeding palms up to his mouth and licked the trail of blood that had started to run down Gilbert's wrist.
Slowly, Gilbert nodded. The room went pitch black again. The only thing that split the darkness was two glowing red eyes and the sound of a single gunshot.
...
Oscar was just climbing up the stairs to Gilbert's forth flood apartment when he heard the unmistakable bang! of a gun. He froze, and then printed up the stairs as fast as he could. He practically slammed himself against Gilbert's door.
"Gil!" He banged on the door.
"Gil! Gil!" It only took a few knocked for the door to give away.
"Gilbert!" He ran to the bedroom. There was Gilbert, laying flat on his back on the bed. His arms were sprawled out, and his gun had fallen from his hand. Blood spread slowly over the sheets. His blood.
Gilbert had died still covered in Oz's blood.
If Gilbert had waited just a second longer, then he would have been able to hear that Oz, somehow, was still alive.
A/N:
Why am I such a horrible person?
One of these days, I'm going to write a cute fic with Gil and Oz. Together. I always seem to mention him, but I never knew I would go as far as to kill him off! (Okay, not REALLY but… STILL.)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the first official chapter of To Hell With You, My Darling. I will be updating soon!
~Thorn of the Rose.
P.S: You all know that comments are love, right?