Author's Note: Remember, this is Luffy's point of view, so if you get angry at this story, please express your anger at only to Luffy. Thank you. And you already had your warning.
"Luffy, where are you? It's time for dinner," Sanji called.
I hid behind the wall. My face would weirdly blush whenever Sanji or Zolo would confront me or talk to me. Oh gosh damn it! Ever since I thought those two were cute, I couldn't stop thinking about it! I…I'm turning gay for my two crewmates!
They are not cute! They are not cute! They are not cute! They are not cute! They are not cute AT ALL!
Well…maybe they are kind of cute…
NOOO! I'M STRAIGHT! I'M NOT GAY!
"Oh, there you are Luffy."
I squeaked when I saw Sanji hovering over me.
"It's time for dinner. What's wrong? You're usually the first one down," he said, blowing out a puff of smoke from his cigar.
"I…uh, u-u-um. I d-don't, uh…" I babbled. No! I act like a retard around them too!
Then Sanji grabbed my hand. I squeaked and felt my face burning. I AM NOT GAY!
"Man, you must be starving that you can't even speak!" he teased.
I nearly fainted when I head him chuckle.
Sanji has a cute laugh….
I AM NOT GAY!
The worse thing that ever happened…just happened. I was sitting next to…Zolo. I was squirming in my seat, trying my ultimate best NOT to look at him. Thank goodness Sanji has his perverted eyes set on Nami and Robin. I feel a little better now.
I flinched when I felt Zolo's eyes on me. "Hey, something wrong Luffy?" he asked.
I forced myself to smile at him. "W-what do you mean?" I said.
"You're kind of jumpy today."
"J-jumpy?" I repeated, pretending not to even know what the problem was.
The problem was that Zolo has an alluring voice.
NO! THAT'S NOT IT! I AM NOT GAY!
I immediately slammed my head on the table.
"Uh…" Zolo went.
"Luffy, I though your period went away!" Nami said.
"Do girls always act like that on their first periods?" Usopp asked as he munched on a chicken wing.
I heard Nami punch Usopp. I want to laugh at the crazy moment that occurred right in front of me, but I'm too depressed too! How in the world did I become, and dare I say it, g-gay? Ugh, I'm shuddering.
"WHY ME!" I screamed.
"I think her period came back," Robin commented, then sipping her tea.
"I never asked for this! Why me!" I cried, then clunking my head against the table again. Oww, that one hurt more than the one before.
"Luffy, what's the matter with you?" Nami huffed.
I scorned at the table. "My life…"
"Is she going to turn like those dramatic people who have serious issues?" Chopper asked innocently.
"Eww, if she is then we are going to need a new captain," Nami said.
"I volunteer to be captain!" Usopp shouted, though he was somewhat muffled by the huge bruise on his face.
"AS IF!"
"OW! NAMI! WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME!"
"But seriously, dude. What's the matter?" Zolo asked.
"I…" I whispered.
Everyone leaned forward. "You…" they trailed in unison.
"I think I'm turning…"
"Yeah?"
I ran away. "I need to use the bathroom! Sorry!" I shouted.
Pause. "Luffy! Wait! What did you need to say!" Usopp shouted behind me.
Hell! As if I would tell everyone that I'm becoming gay! Then Sanji and Zolo would think I'm a freak and try to avoid me! I don't want that! And what about Chopper? I'm like his role model! There would be no way that he could look up to a pathetic gay person like me!
I sulked inside the bathroom stall.
"Hey, Luffy. I know that you're there," said Nami's voice.
"Go away," I sighed.
"Oh come on. What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"If you don't come out of there in three seconds, I'll-"
Oh…we don't want that. I quickly opened the door. "Okay! I'm here! Just don't hurt me!" I cried.
She put her hands on her hips. "Now tell me," she demanded.
"P-promise you won't tell anyone?" I said.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Okay," I gulped. "I…I'm gay…"
Pause. "…With who?"
"W-with…Sanji and Zolo."
Pause.
Nami roared into laughter. "Y-you and…BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
I glared at her as I felt my face heat up. "What the hell! It isn't funny! This is serious!"
She sniffed as she wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry Luffy, but that was funny!"
I sighed. "So, is it weird?"
"Weird? Falling for those two imbeciles? Luffy, you're a girl now; you're not gay. And if you were, then you would be crushing on me or Robin, now that would be really weird."
"But I'm not a girl, Nami! I have the heart of a man's!"
"Luffy, when are you going to face reality and just admit it? You are a girl. You had a period, remember? Guys don't have periods."
I looked down, biting on my lower lip. "What if…I turn back into a guy and still like those two?" I mumbled.
She sighed. "Look, girls have their hormones and so do guys. You just awoke your inner girl self, which means you would start thinking like a girl."
Wait, so I'm going to giggle and flirt all the time!? NOO! But…wait! That means…!
"So when I turn into a guy, I'm not going to like those two anymore!" I exclaimed, smiling.
"Yup. Oh, and by the way, girls love hearing gossip too. So tell me, what's so good about them anyway? Sanji is a pervert and a flirt, and Zolo is just plain stupid and lazy," Nami giggled.
I blushed and looked away. "W-well…Sanji knows how to make someone feel better when they're down. He can be funny and also has a heart. He makes delicious foods. He is someone you can trust and believe in," I explained.
I remembered when Sanji was protecting his boss's restaurant. He even helped a starving pirate.
"Hmm, I never thought about it. Then what about Zolo?" Nami said.
"Zolo is strong and quick. He tries to be tough, but really is a softy. He would give out his life to help a friend in need. He's amazingly talented with is swords. And even though it's hard to see, he would do anything for us," I said.
I recalled the time when I first met Zolo. He was tied up and brutally hurt when he was protecting a little girl.
I smiled at the memories I had with both Zolo and Sanji. Those two may be idiots, but I am proud having them as part of my crew.
Nami grinned. "They also have something in common. They want to be the best there is."
"Oh yeah! Sanji wants to be the greatest chef as Zolo wants to be the greatest swordsman," I said.
"I wonder which of them could be the greatest boyfriend too," Nami mused.
I frowned. "I doubt that could ever happen. They are so worked up to their goals that they don't want any part of being in a relationship. Well, for Sanji that's a bit unknown."
"You could be right. But when a guy falls for a girl, there is nothing that they can do about it," Nami said, winking. "They want to be closer to the girl that they love."
"You sound as if there is a love triangle between me and the boys," I muttered.
"Well there could be! You are in stuck between those two. Boy! There is totally going to be a climax! Sanji and Zolo…fighting to be your lover! Which one will you pick!" she squealed.
"Nami!" I whined. "Honestly. If this keeps going on, they're going to find out for sure!"
"So are you going to tell them?"
I blinked. "Tell them what?"
She rolled her eyes. "Tell them that you love them, stupid!"
"What!" I screamed. "I-I can't do that!"
"Sure you can! You can tell them right now and get it over with!"
"What? No! Nami!"
I tried to protest, but Nami, strangely, have a killer grip. She was pulling me out of the bathroom. When did she ever have the power of a macho man!
When she kicked the door, I gawked. Zolo and Sanji were walking pass by the door. They stopped and stared at us. "Talked to our captain?" Zolo asked.
Nami grinned. "Yup! And guess what?"
"You're going to be my bride?" Sanji gushed out, hearts popping out of his eye sockets.
Suddenly, Nami was wearing a wedding dress. My eyes widened in shock. How the hell did that happen!
"Uh, no. Luffy is in love with you two!" Nami squealed.
"No!" I gasped.
Then Zolo looked at me wide eyed. Something utterly disturbing happened, his head turned into a horse's head! I stared in shock and gasped.
I looked to Sanji. Sanji…Sanji was a fat man with no hair at all!
"NOOOOOOO!"
"LUFFY! WAKE UP!"
My eyes popped open. I looked around. I was in bed, light was shining out of the window. I sighed in relief. It was just a dream! Ugh! What a horrible dream! And…oh great. I'm still in my period!
"Luffy, are you okay?"
I looked up. Nami and Robin were looking at me with concern. I grinned. "I am now!"
"Boy, you were screaming while you were sleeping. We would have thought that you were in some nightmare," she sighed.
"What was your dream about, anyway?" Robin asked.
My dream?
I blushed when I recalled what was it about.
"Uh, nothing," I said. I pulled the blanket over my face.
"Ooh, it was something dirty, wasn't it?" Nami teased.
"No it wasn't!" I protested.
"Come on! You can tell us! We can keep a secret!"
"I believe I heard Captain shouting for Mr. Cook and Mr. Swordsman's names while sleeping," Robin informed.
I froze. Nami curiously looked at me. "Were they in trouble?" she asked.
"Uh…" I trailed, unable to think of something.
"Hmm," Robin said as she placed a finger under her chin. "Blushing and two of our crewmates…you wouldn't happen to be in love, would you Captain?"
"What! In love! W-what are you t-t-t-talking about?" I cried.
Nami paused, and then a smirk formed her lips. "Ooh, Luffy's hormones have finally awakened!" she cooed.
"No they haven't! I am so not in love!" I shouted.
"So which one is it? Zolo or Sanji?"
"I'm not in love!"
"Come on! Tell us!"
"This is quite interesting. So you wouldn't mind being a girl now, would you?" Robin mused. "I mean, after all, you wouldn't feel the same thing for the two boys if you were a boy yourself."
"No1 I want to be a boy again! I don't love them!" I shouted.
"Really Luffy, being a girl isn't all that bad," Nami said.
"I'm going to be a boy again," I remarked.
"Then what about Zolo and Sanji?"
"What about them?" I snapped.
"If you really love them, you would remain as a girl for their sakes!"
"I don't love them!"
"Yes you do! Come on, admit it!"
The real Nami is a bigger pain than the dream Nami.
Then I thought about what I told dream Nami why I liked Zolo and Sanji. I told her the truthful descriptions about them. And…how they amaze me.
I blushed and buried my face into the pillow.
"I don't love them!"