Stupid Nami, thinking that I like the swordsman and the cook of the crew. HUH! As if! I was born and raised as a guy! There would be no possible way that I would fall in love with those two! Besides, Zolo is a sword-loving idiot and Sanji is a pervert. As for me, I'm obviously the opposite of those two. AN AMAZING CAPTAIN! No match at all.

"HA! Nami's so dumb! There is definitely no relation between us three!" I laughed.

"Relation about what?"

Whirling around, I screamed—like a man—and fell on my bottom. Chopper was there, standing innocently with a mug full of tea.

"C-Chopper! You nearly shattered my soul!" I gasped.

"Oops, sorry Luffy. So what about a relation?"

"Um…" Oh, there is no way that I would tell Chopper about what Nami and Robin thinks about my 'girl hormones'. There is absolutely no way, no how! You can forget about it!

"That's top secret," I quickly said.

"Top secret? Oh! Oh! You can tell me! I can keep it a secret! Please!?" Chopper begged, looking at me with those huge round eyes.

"Eh…nope! Top secret is top secret. If I tell you, then it won't be a secret anymore, you see?"

"Oh…" Chopper hung his head, then looked up again wit determined eyes, "But it still can be a secret if we keep it a secret between us!"

Oh, he's good.

"But what if the people who I kept it a secret with finds out that I spilled it?" I questioned.

"Hmm." Chopper rubbed his chin with his tiny hoof. "I don't know. How about we ask Usopp?"

I grinned. "Okay!"

Usopp was great at keeping secrets. He'll surely know what to do.

"Hmm, so Luffy wants to tell Chopper a secret but cannot for the people Luffy have kept a secret with might find out?" Usopp said.

"That's right!" Chopper and I said simultaneously.

Chopper then took a sip from his mug.

"Then here's what you do! Keep it a secret from the ones whom you kept a secret with. Simple as that!" he concluded.

"Oh!" We applauded while Usopp was posing his amazing intelligence.

"So," he crouched down, "what's the secret?"

Chopper and I exchanged looks. "Come on! You can tell me! I'm good at keeping secrets!" Usopp begged.

"I don't know," I trailed.

"Please!?" Chopper and Usopp cried out in unison.

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"Please!?"

"Uh…"

"ENOUGH ALREADY!"

I scratched my head. Should I tell them about how the two girls thought that I was crushing on Zolo and Sanji? Maybe I shouldn't because that way they might think I'm weird. Yeah, they WILL think that I'm weird! I better not. But what should I tell them instead? That they like me instead?

…

Hey, that might work.

"Okay, I will tell you, but promise me that you will keep this a secret. Never EVER tell anyone, you got that?" I whispered.

The two nodded

"Even if it means life or death, swear that you will never tell," I continued.

Usopp gulped. "Even life or death?" he repeated.

Chopper shivered.

"That's right. Promise to your captain."

They exchanged glances, then gave me a determined look.

"We promise!" they said.

I nodded. "Good. The secret is…"

Then I told them that Sanji really, really likes Nami. Then I told them that Zolo really, really likes Robin. I know that I decided that the two guys were supposed to like me, but then again…that would probably reflect onto me. Man, am I smart or what? Hee! Hee!

Usopp and Chopper looked flabbergasted.

"I can understand Sanji, but Zolo!?" Usopp gasped.

"No way! I always thought Sanji would go for Robin," Chopper said.

"Uh, no Chopper. Sanji would obviously go for Nami. Heck! The guy has been laying eyes on her all this time!"

"But he looks at Robin too."

"But not as much as Nami."

"What!? He so does!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"You guys!" I shouted. "Enough! Sanji likes Nami and Zolo likes Robin. Capeesh!?"

"What's a capeesh?" Chopper asked.

"Uh, no Chopper. Luffy said catfish," Usopp said.

"No, I was pretty sure that Luffy said capeesh."

"It was catfish."

"It was capeesh."

"Catfish."

"Capeesh."

"Catfish."

"Capeesh."

"Catfish!"

"Capeesh!"

"Catfish!"

"Capeesh!"

"CATFISH!"

"CAPEESH!"

"CATFISH!"

"CAPEESH!"

"CATFISH!"

"CAPEESH!"

"CATFISH!"

"CAPEESH!"

"CATFISH!"

"CAPEESH!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!?"

We all cringed at the shout. It was Zolo. He looked awfully irritated…and terrifying.

"Oh, hey Zolo. We were discussing about which one sounds tastier. Capeesh or catfish," I lied.

"Huh? But I thought we were talking about—"

Just in time, Usopp and I slammed our hands against Chopper's mouth.

Zolo raised an eyebrow. "Whatever, just keep it down, you three," he growled.

Thus, Zolo the former pirate hunter had left. By the time he was gone, we let go of our hands.

"Chopper! What I told you was a secret, got it?" I whispered.

"Oops…sorry," he sheepishly said.

"Right, well. This is a secret between only us three. You guys must never EVER, EVER tell a single soul," I declared.

"Or what?" Chopper asked.

"Or…you have betrayed your captain and the secret itself!"

"Gasp!" Usopp exclaimed.

I nodded in smartness. "Yes. It is very disgraceful if you did so. Even worse then running around buck naked."

"Buck naked!?" Chopper cried.

"Exactly!"

"Don't worry, Luffy! We promise not to tell anyone!" Usopp exclaimed.

"That's my crew!" I said proudly.

"By the way, how did you know this?"

"Uh…"

I stood up and ran away. I ignored Usopp's and Chopper's shouting. Okay, rather random of me to do so, but hey, better than answering them the question.

As I continued to run, I accidentally slammed into someone. Looking up, it was Sanji.

"Whoops, sorry 'bout that," he said, making sure that the plates on the tray he carried didn't fall out.

"Uh...uh…"

WAH! Why does my head feel as though it's going to explode!? Heat is rushing up to my cheeks! I feel dizzy…

"Uh…" I continued to trail idiotically.

"Huh? Hey, Luffy, you all right? Your face is turning unbelievably red."

Sanji knelt down to my sitting form and put his hand on my forehead. That's when I felt like screaming.

"I-I-I AM OKAY!" I yelled.

I quickly stood up and dashed away.

What just happened? Why did my face blow up? It didn't happen when I was with Usopp and Chopper. I don't know about Zolo since he was a few yards away from me. But Sanji? Ever since I knocked into him, my face was practically broiling! I think I need to ask Chopper for medicine. I think I'm allergic to Sanji.