Title:

Admissions By Midnight
Pairing: Col. Robert Gould Shaw/Major Cabot Forbes
Rating: PG-13/Teen
Summary: The night before the attack on Fort Wagner, Major Forbes goes to see his dear friend for reasons unknown to himself, he just feels inexspcliably drawn to the tent, and once there, things only seem to escalate and there is no going back...
Warnings:SLASH!- M/M Kissing. Le gasp! 8O

A/N: This is un-beta'd, primarily because I couldn't even find a "Glory" fandom that existed, much less a SLASH one! Or any beta-readers of that variety..So, this is what I've got. Any mistakes are my own. This is cross-posted to my LJ: bit_and_bridles.

Please comment! I'm terrified to post this to a pretty much obscure fandom that had no "fandom guidelines," so I'm flying by feeling here. ;)

EDIT (01/16/11):
f-face palm- Robert is a Colonel...not a General. I realize this, and I am an idiot for putting it as so. It's been too long since I've seen the movie. Just got to watch it again and realized this tragic misftake. It's been fixed. :)

The night before the attack on Fort Wagner, around 11:30 pm in the evening...

Major Forbes smiled to himself as he made his way through the camp. The men were in good spirits, despite the terrible danger and blatant fear that hung in the air. Tomorrow's outcome was inevitable. Some would die. No, most would die. They would be lucky if they only lost half of their numbers. Yet, this didn't seem to faze the dark-skinned individuals gathered around the warm fire singing soul-stirring songs. He himself had never been blatantly religious, but the words and the voices singing them offered quite a degree of comfort, that he felt his heart get just a little bit lighter.

It was a he reached his destination that he felt he could make it even more so. "Colonel Shaw?" he called to the tent flap. "Permission to enter?" he asked, and he had to admit that he felt ridiculous. This was Robert for God's sake! He'd grown up with him, and now he was having to ask if he could so much as enter his tent? He was calling him by his last name? When did this sudden change in power come about? Probably around the same time your feelings for him changed... an irritating voice in his head chimed in. Forbes pushed that ridiculous notion away. He'd acknowledged it long ago and had dealt with it, at least, he thought he'd dealt with it. But now, it appeared his feelings for his dear friend were insisting on rearing their ugly head once more.

He couldn't recall exactly when the emotions had changed, but he knew that now, he felt decidedly non-platonic and bordering on perverse, feelings for the good Colonel. He found himself staring, for extended periods of time at Robert's body, and noticing how very /nice/ his dark blue dress uniform fit him. These weren't the only signs though. When they'd attended the party not long after arriving in South Carolina, and the young women had been fawning over his friend he'd felt his teeth set on edge, and his hands had unconsciously balled in fists at his sides. When Colonel Montgomery had approached him, Forbes would have sworn that his eyes had travelled in far too assessing of a manner and it had taken every ounce of his willpower not to strike a higher ranking officer, but, looking back, it probably would've been well worth it.

So what brought him outside Robert's tent now? He really didn't know. Was it these strange, twisted feelings that lay in his heart? Or was it because he knew what tomorrow would most likely bring, and he felt the desire, nay, the /need/ to unburden himself in this final hour of darkness? Whatever reasoning was behind his convoluted excursion, when Robert's strong voice responded in the affirmative, he eagerly pushed his way into the tent.

Robert was sitting at his desk with a plume in hand, no doubt writing one of his many letters to family back home. He looked up though, as Forbes entered and his dark brown eyes looked him over before he looked back down to his letter and he asked, "What can I help you with, Major?"

Forbes' mouth went dry and he had no idea what he was going to say. What could he help him with? Could he give him an iota of assurance? Of comfort for what was going to come with dawn's first light? Could he reassure to the Major that their cause was just and their hearts were strong? Because at this time, he felt scared and lost, like a child wandering the cold streets alone. He was silent for a good stretch of time, so much so that Robert look up and his dark eyes locked with his friend's light blue ones. "What's wrong, Forbes? You look as if you're going to be sick."

Major Forbes cleared his throat, "Yes, I...um.." the usually eloquent sophist stumbled over his words. So he tried a different attempt, "You know what's going to happen tomorrow don't you?"

Robert sighed, as if this question had been raised many times in his own mind, "Yes," his voice was pained and Forbes felt the urge to go to him and hold him, to kiss the pain out of his voice. He shook his head to clear it of such inane notions.

"Yet you still lead them into battle?"he question, not sure why he felt the need to ask such a question. Yet as he did so, he moved forward slightly so that he was only a few scant feet from the seated Colonel.

"Yes," he repeated, his voice still laced with shades of agony. "And before you ask, you already know why, you heard me on the beach, and I should hope that as one of my dearest and closest friends you would understand me...and my motives," his voice dwindled as he spoke, until it was barely above a harsh whisper.

"I do understand, but..." he went silent, unsure of how to proceed, how lightly he now had to step without revealing too much...Robert looked at him curiously and he took a deep breath to continue. "But what if you should die tomorrow?" he whispered, so that Robert had to strain to hear.

He was silent as he went over the question and his subsequent answer. "Then..I should die. I am the Colonel of this regiment and if my men fall, then I shall fall with them and for this reason—"

"Damn it Robert!" Forbes slammed his palm down upon the des, inches away from the parchment that had Robert's neat scrawl across its length. "If you should die, then I will die!" he shouted, anger making his blue eyes intense.

Robert looked at him curiously once more before his eyes narrowed slightly. "I should think, Major, that as you are in the Union Army, the idea of you dying would have crossed your mind at least once, and furthermore, I think it is very selfish of you to place your own self-preservation above your men's especially as you are their commanding officer and as so you should be willing to lay down your life /for/ them if necessary!" Incised, Robert's voice rose in increments until he was nearly shouting as well.

"That is not what I mean!" Forbes retorted. "If you die, regardless of whether any bodily harm will come to me, my heart will break and my soul will shatter, I will have no reason to go on living, without you!" he breathed heavily as all his emotions poured out of him, and he stared directly into his friend's eyes. However, as his anger, frustration, and fear rolled out of him, they were replaced by a cold realization and fear. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have slipped up? He had done so well, hiding his true feelings behind a mask of animosity and disapproval, and now, the mask had been ripped away, and his heart was exposed for all to see. But most of all, for Robert to see. For him to see and take and rip into shreds until only a flimsy imitator of his heart existed.

As the silence stretched on, Forbes became aware of the severe awkwardness his words had caused and so he nodded his head. "I'm sorry Robert, I'll...I'll just be leaving.." and he turned on his heel and began to walk towards the exit of the tent.

"Forbes...wait.." Robert's voice was soft, but Forbes ignored him, it wouldn't be the first time he disregarded what the Colonel had told him. "Forbes!" his voice was louder, but the Major did not care. "Forbes, stop. That is an order!" he commanded, and only then did the other man pause, but he would not face his commanding officer, instead he focused on his boots as he heard Robert come up behind him. "What did you mean by that?" he asked quietly. "What did you mean by your last statement that your life would no longer be living if I was dead? As your superior officer, I demand you give me a truthful answer." Robert knew that was a dastardly thing to do, to make his friend reveal his secrets by using his rank, but, this was important, and he felt Forbes at least owed him some sort of explanation for his cryptic words.

However, he began to wonder if he should ever /get/ his response as the silence continue to stretch out between them. But at last, Forbes' gentle voice broke through the quiet. "I have determined that certain feelings I have for you are of such an intensity that I feel I would no longer be able to live if you were gone..."

"Damn it Major! Give me a straight answer and stop playing your word games with me!"

"I love you, Robert..." the admission was soft, and hardly even a whisper on the wind, but to Robert it was as loud as a bugle call going off in the early rays of dawn. "Now, Colonel, may I please leave?" he asked, his voice just a touch snide as his embarrassment and slight anger at his friend for using his rank as leverage began to make themselves known.

Robert made no response and Forbes was sure that his friend would never forgive him for what he'd said, but at this point he no longer cared, because, in some sense he felt relieved. He had been burdened by his secret for so long, that now that it was at last lifted from him, it was as if he himself had been emancipated.

He turned to flat out tell Robert he would be leaving, regardless of what he commanded, when the smaller man's form was suddenly pressed up against his own, and his arms were twisted around his neck. "Please forgive me if what I do next should make you uncomfortable, Major," he whispered, barely a hair's-breadth away from what would change everything, from what would clearly overstep the boundaries of "friendship" and enter into something totally different, and all together darker in other's eyes. Yet, Robert did not seem to care as he crashed his lips against Forbes' and held him in place by his arms twined around him.

Forbes felt his arms go around Robert's shorter frame and he pulled him even closer, so that their torsos...and lower...were in contact. Both men groaned into each other's mouth at the contact. It was such a foreign thing, to have these sensations while on the war path, it had been a long time for both of them, but that still meant nothing to Forbes as he felt his heart grow until it felt it would burst, just to have Robert this close. So when his tongue was granted entrance to its probing advances, he took advantage of it and delved deeper, wanting to taste over inch of Robert's sweet mouth, and he felt the Colonel answer with his own attack as their tongue began a dance that neither thought would ever come about, and only one had ever entertained even vaguest notions.

When they broke apart for air, their foreheads rested against each other's and the thick humidity of the South, and their own proximity to each other led to sweat breaking out across their brows and the rest of their bodies as well. "I love you Cabot," Robert whispered softly into the Major's ear as his tongue traced the outer shell, and the Major keened at the touch, something he would never admit to later, at the use of his given name, it was the first time Robert had used his name since he had joined up, and that it was used in such an intimate setting nearly destroyed him.

"I love you too Robert," he purred in response, and gently nipped the tender spot behind his Colonel's ear, which had Robert's breath catching in his throat.

As much as both wanted to continue however, they knew they couldn't, they needed to be fresh for the morning's battle, and as the realization settled on both of them what would most likely happen in the morn, they both became very quiet. They stayed like that, with their arms around one another and their faces buried in each other, just clinging to one another, never wanting to let go.

And so when Forbes did begin to disentangle himself, muttering about how his good Colonel needed his sleep, and how much of a shock his dresser would get when they came in to help him clothe himself in the morning if they were twisted around each other.

That image did nothing to help Robert to calm down. However, he nodded, knowing the Major was right. So as the Major ducked out of his tent, he merely grabbed his hand and held it to his lips, pressing the gentlest of kisses to Forbes' wrist. "May God protect you tomorrow, my love," he whispered.

Major Forbes nodded, too struck to respond except to smile before he disappeared once more into the dark of the night.

The men's fire had long since died, as had the singing as all the soldiers had retired to their tents. Yet, he still felt a warm glow throughout his whole body. He had a new sort of comfort. He knew, that no matter what happened tomorrow, Robert and he would be together, no matter what, because love could overcome all, he was certain of it.

Fin~

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