Chapter 4: Shopping

"Mitarashi Anko, we have reviewed your 42nd request to change your status, with regards to one Uzumaki Naruto, from sponsor to full legal guardianship. After a full review of psychological profiles, residency, and income, we have come to the conclusion that it is in the best interest of all parties to decline your request. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this ruling, please contact the councilor in charge of Social Services, Haruno Shizuru."

Anko threw the letter across the room. "You have got to be kidding me. They call me psychologically incapable of raising a child? Oh, you better believe that I'm gonna talk to this Haruno bitch!"

Ibiki stuck his head inside of Anko's office. "I'm guessing that the council declined your request again."

Anko gave Ibiki a dangerous look. "I have half a mind to say 'fuck them', and just take the kid in without their permission. After all, the old man said yes, so why isn't that good enough for them?"

Ibiki simply shook his head. "True, the old man did tell you yes, but let's remember that the council has been out to screw this kid since day one. If you put in an official request to help him in any way, they're going to tell you 'no' on principal."

Anko's gaze softened a little. "Is that your roundabout way of saying that you're not going to stop me?"

Ibiki returned the look. "Don't get me wrong, I don't really care one way or the other about the brat, I'm just trying to help the old man, and that usually means making sure the council gets as little of its way as possible. Just don't come to me for parenting advice."

Anko smirked. "I'll take that as a yes."

--Konoha Market District—

*pant*pant* "I, I think, we lost him."

"I said, knock him out, not kick him, in the balls!"

"Well, excuse, me, for, trying to, spice things up a little!"

The newly minted Team 10 had narrowly escaped Kakashi's wrath by ducking into Konoha's busiest market district, a building that had survived since the original city upon which Konoha was built, an odd tower called "104".

Ino, after catching her breath, looked around. "Well, this saves me some time. I've wanted to go shopping here all week!"

Shikamaru simply shook his head. "You girls and your shopping. Do it if you want, but I'm gonna go and check in with my folks, I've got some questions I want to ask my old man."

Naruto tried once again to increase the volume on his headphones, stopping only for fear of ripping off the knob. "I don't care one way or another, I just want out of this crowd."

Ino turned to face the other blonde. "Come on, I'm sure it's noisy, but it can't possibly be that bad!"

Naruto glared. "Take the largest crowd you've ever been in and double the noise, only it's all in your head and you can't shut it out, then you might understand why I don't like crowds."

Ino paused for a moment to consider. "Right, let's go inside where there's less people, shall we?"

True to Ino's prediction, there was far fewer people inside the tall structure than there was outside near the open air stalls. "Now, where should we go first?" the blonde girl mused aloud.

Naruto followed behind his teammate, catching snippets of thoughts and conversations here and there.

Fifty nine ryou for this! They have got to be out of their minds!

I wander what he'd like to see me in? I mean, all I've ever seen him where is black and blue…?

They're selling this for fifteen? How the hell are they making a profit?

Is that Cat's latest line? I'm sure I could attract anyone wearing that!

…I wonder what size he wears? Guess all I can do is ask. Hey, Naruto. "Hey, Naruto, can you hear me?"

Naruto blinked for what he felt was the thousandth time that day. "Sorry, lost in the crowd, what did you say?"

Ino gave her teammate a thorough looking over. "I was trying to ask what size of jacket you wear. Kakashi destroyed yours, right? You might as well get a new one while you're here."

"Oh, umm, I think a small."

Ino continued her appraisal of the smaller blonde. A small, he thinks? In what, children's? "Naruto, I don't know where you got that jacket, but I'll be blunt. I wear stuff in small, and your smaller than me. If you want anything that fits well, you'd have to go for something like Extra small."

Naruto simply stared at Ino for a moment. "Whatever you think works. I've never really gone shopping like this before."

What?"You've never gone clothes shopping?"

Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Well, most of the stuff I have I got from Anko-nee-san, but that was just before I entered the Academy, and she did all the shopping."

Ino was absolutely flabbergasted. "You're telling me, that you've been going all this time with clothes that someone got you three years ago?"

Naruto tilted his head to one side. "Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

What the FUCK is RIGHT with that! "Change of plans, forget the coat, we are getting you a new wardrobe."

With that statement, Ino took hold of Naruto's shirtsleeve and dove into the nearest clothing vendor.

--Nara Gaming Supplies—

"So, you're saying that you don't know a thing about this?"

"That's right."

"Why is it that I don't believe you?"

Shikaku sighed. This was positively one of the worst conversations he had had with his son. "Listen, I'm really not the guy to ask about any of this, and some of it I can't tell anyone. If you want to know more about telepathy, Inoichi is the guy to ask, and Naruto is the best person to ask about himself."

It was Shikamaru's turn to sigh. He wasn't used to his old man stonewalling him like this, and what was he referring to when he said he couldn't answer some of his questions? "Damn troublesome blonde, you're not even here and your giving me a headache." He muttered under his breath.

Shikaku simply shook his head. "Look, it's getting late, and you're supposed to meet your team for dinner, correct? You should get going."

Shikamaru stood up. "Don't think I'm giving up on this. I'll find out what's going on one way or another."

"I expect nothing less."

--104 building—

"So, what do you think? Much better than the old one."

Naruto bore an odd look on his face at Ino's question. He had just stepped out of the changing room, new clothes and all. Ino had picked out his new outfit, black cargo pants and sandals on his legs, with a kunai pouch on his right thigh and a shuriken holster on his left hip, a black shirt with an orange spiral design on the front and fishnet sleeves resided under a red and black jacket, a modified version of the ANBU spiral on the side, where the jacket was red the design was black, and vice versa. Topping off the outfit was a pair of gloves, fingerless at first glance but in actuality fingered by a fine mesh, and a pair of new red-orange headphones.

"It's…different." Was his response.

Ino frowned. "You don't like it? We can change it if you want."

Naruto shook his head. "No, it's not that I don't like it, it's just that…I guess I need some time to get used to it."

The headphones wearing blonde looked at himself in the mirror again. The look wasn't a bad one, but he kind of missed his normal orange ensemble. Maybe I can find a copy of this jacket in orange…no, I have to start thinking like a ninja, after all, I AM one now, so black and red are a lot less noticeable than orange…

While Naruto was trying to decide what he thought of his new look, Shikamaru approached the clothing vendor.

Gotta' admit, Phones, that does look a lot better on you than that old jumpsuit.

Naruto turned to face his teammate. "Yeah, I'm just not entirely sold on the gloves, though."

Ino chimed in. "You two really have to break that habit of only one of you speaking out loud, it makes you both look crazy in public."

Shikamaru simply shrugged. "So what? Who really cares what the public thinks as long as we know what's going on?"

Ino smacked her head in frustration. "Oh! You're impossible sometimes, Shika! Don't you realize how important appearance can be sometimes? If people think you're…"

Just as Ino was ready to continue her tirade, her stomach let out a rumble. Naruto laughed, glad that at least someone besides him had remembered dinner.

"Maybe we should head over to Wildkat now?" he suggested.

--Hokage Tower—

"So, now that we're assembled, I would like some status reports on the prospective teams."

Ten Jounin were assembled in the inner conference room of the Hokage Tower, sitting at attention in front of the old man himself. Kakashi was the first to speak.

"Mine passed, as expected. Sasuke performed exceptionally, and his teammates managed to work together at the end to earn a passing grade from me. On those grounds, I give Team 7 a go."

Sarutobi stroked his beard. "Very well, I can find fault with the method but I will agree with the verdict. Who's next?"

Kurenai spoke up next. "My team worked almost frighteningly well. While Shino and Chouji were able to begin the tracking of my false target, Hinata managed to not only see through my genjutsu, but convince both her teammates that the target was fake and that I was standing just to their right. Because they were able to work together as a team to not only defeat my genjutsu but also find and confront me, I give them a pass."

The elderly Hokage nodded his head in agreement. "Very well, anyone else?"

Several other jonin spoke up at this point, each reporting their teams failures to pass the test to confirm themselves as genin. Finally, only Asuma had yet to speak up. Kakashi was the first to point this out.

"What's the matter, Asuma? Your brats fail that miserably? There's no shame in admitting it, after all, you had Uzumaki on your team."

Asuma slowly took a drag on his cigarette before, at first lightly chuckling, then letting loose a full laugh.

Kurenai tutted. "Look what you did, Kakashi. You broke him!"

A jonin near the back shook his head. "I think Kakashi was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Uzumaki probably did most of the breaking long before now."

It was Asuma's turn to shake his head, wiping a tear of laughter away while he did so. "No, no, Naruto didn't do a thing to me. I give Team 10 a pass on the grounds that they came together to do the impossible and retrieved a photo of something that many can only fantasize about."

The elder Sarutobi gave his son a quizzical look. "Would you care to expound upon that?"

Asuma held up a handful of recently developed pictures. "I present to you, the fabled face of Hatake Kakashi, photographed under extreme danger by my good students of Team 10."

At this statement, Kakashi screamed. "IT WAS YOU!!! GIVE ME THOSE PICTURES!!!!"

Without waiting for Asuma to hand over said photos, Kakashi ripped them from the smoking jonin's hand and immediately ripped them apart, before anyone else in the room could see them. At this point, the elder Sarutobi made his presence known.

"Kakashi, SIT DOWN!"

Almost without realizing it, the cyclopean jonin complied.

"Uhh, not to rain on your parade, Asuma, but since Kakashi just destroyed the evidence, is your team still even eligible for passing?" another jonin in the back of the room mused aloud.

The younger Sarutobi smirked again. "Of course, you think I was stupid enough to only make one set of copies?"

Before Kakashi could react again, the Sandaime spoke.

"Alright, Team 10 has also met the requirements and are now confirmed as gennin. Now, unless there are any pertinent questions," a daring glare was shot in Kakashi's direction. "You are all dismissed to your duties."

As jonin began shuffling out of the room, Kakashi stopped Asuma. "Why did you make obtaining a photo of my face a genin test? Couldn't you have just picked, I don't know, robbing a bank?"

Asuma took another drag on his oral fixation before answering. "I could have, but considering Naruto's record he might have been able to pull that off by himself. I wanted their test to be something that would force them all to work together in order to achieve the goal. All three of these kids have been raised to achieve their objectives by themselves, so by nature they won't be team players. If they were to work together, the problem had to be larger than anything any one of them could have achieved on their own. In short, I needed to give them a truly impossible task. I never expected them to succeed, that was just icing on the cake."

Kakashi blinked. "Asuma, you are the most logically insane person I have ever met."

--WildKat Café'--

As the trio of rookie genin walked into the coffee house, Hanekoma greeted them with a smile. "Good to see you, boss. These guys the partners you mentioned?"

Naruto's smile was visible above his new high-collar jacket. "Yup! H-san, I want you to meet Shikamaru and Ino, my new teammates! Ino, Shikamaru, this is H-san, the single greatest coffee maker in the world!"

Hanekoma's smile widened as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, I don't know about 'the world', but I'm certainly one of the best in Konoha. So, since you kids are here celebrating your team confirmation, first round's on the house."

Shikamaru paused for a moment. "How did you know that we're here to celebrate coming together as a team?"

Hanekoma just laughed. "Don't be so suspicious, I had already asked Phones to bring his new team in to meet me the other night, so I knew you'd be coming in at some point or another, and from the bright looks on everyone's faces, it was rather easy to assume that you'd all passed your sensei's little test."

That answer seemed to satisfy the young shadow-user, so the team took seats at the front bar. As Hanekoma moved to the back of the bar to fill their orders, Ino turned to Naruto.

"How is it that you met Hanekoma-san?" she asked.

Naruto turned to her from turning down the volume on his headphones. "Well, it was about three years ago, just after I joined the Academy. I was walking home when I noticed H-san closing up shop, and he asked me if I wouldn't mind helping him. He gave me these headphones as thanks and I've been coming back ever since."

Hanekoma set the drinks down in front of the team. "Yeah, you should of seen the kid when he first came in here, I had to lean so far of the counter to see him that it was funny."

This received a giggle from Ino and a snort from Naruto, who hid his fake scowl in his house blend. Shikamaru smirked and slowly shook his head at his new teammates' antics. We're either going to kick so much ass or fail miserably, and either one is going to be a hell of a ride.

As the three genin animatedly chatted with the store proprietor, Naruto detected three approaching minds in a foul mood. Please, don't let it be the drunk idiots again?

As they got closer, Naruto was able to make out individual thoughts.

Can't believe he let the asshole pass without ever even working with us, some 'teamwork'.

I can't believe we passed! And on Sasuke-kun's team too! I can't wait to tell Ino! Bet that bitch didn't pass at all! After all she's on Naruto's team!

That one-eyed bastard had better have some better things to teach me than that. Getting slowed down by 'teammates' won't do anything to make me stronger.

Ino was the first to notice the pained expression on the young telepath's face. "Are you okay, Naruto?"

Before the smaller blonde had a chance to answer, the doors to the shop opened, revealing a battered Team 7. Kiba took one look at the three sitting at the bar before laughing.

"Heh, here to drown your spirits about failing, huh? Well, too bad, but thanks for keeping our seats warm, but it's time for you losers to let those who are here to celebrate victory have their appropriate seats!"

Shikamaru glared daggers at the dog tamer. "I don't know what nonsense you're babbling on about, Kiba, but we're here to celebrate passing our sensei's test, and would be very appreciative if you'd get lost to let us do it in peace."

Sasuke snorted. "Quit lying. As if three losers like you could even pass the most basic of tests. I don't know how any of you even graduated from the Academy in the first place?"

"Yeah, like they would even let a butch be a ninja in the first place!" Sakura piped in.

"Hey! I don't care if you kids want to order something, but I draw the line at throwing insults at my customers." Hanekoma declared, looking menacing even from behind the counter.

Kiba only smirked. "We're not insulting anyone, we're just calling trash what it is, trash!"

"You're treading on thin ice, Inuzuka!" Ino declared, standing up from her bar stool.

As the insults flew, Naruto leaned over the counter while increasing the volume on his headphones. Where's all this noise coming from? Why is it so loud? It feels like my heads going to explode!

As Naruto was leaned over, Sasuke walked towards the bar. "Trying to play the silent type, huh?" I'll teach you what happens to those who ignore me! Without hesitation, Sasuke shoved Naruto's head into the bar counter, breaking his coffee mug and scattering his meal all across the countertop.

Before Naruto even had a chance to cry out in pain, all three members of Team 7 found themselves literally flying out the front door of the café. As the doors swung back, they heard Hanekoma shouting at them. "AND NEVER DARKEN MY ESTABLISHMENT EVER AGAIN!"

Inside the shop, Ino was helping Naruto up from where he had slid after Sasuke's attack. "Are you okay?" Why did Sasuke do that?

Naruto accepted Ino's hand as she pulled him up. "I'll be okay." He said, his voice nearly a whisper.

Hanekoma swept up the broken dishes and spilt food and beverages from the counter. "I'm so sorry about that, guys. If you're all up to it, I'll get you another round."

Shikamaru shook his head. "Sorry, that kind of killed my appetite."

"Mine too." Ino stated, Naruto nodding his agreement.

Hanekoma sighed. "Alright, you kids take care going home, okay?"

As the genin turned to leave, Ino tried her hand at silent communication. Do you need any help getting home?

Naruto shook his head at the girl's unspoken question. "I'll be okay." He promised, almost convincingly.

Lacking a good reason to walk their rattled comrade home, Ino and Shikamaru bade Naruto good night as they each went their separate ways. Naruto managed to shake off most of the effects of Sasuke's irrational action by the time he made it to his apartment. I really should talk to Anko-nee-san. He thought as he fished his keys from his new pocket. After finding the correct key, Naruto attempted to unlock the door, only for the key to refuse to turn. Taking a closer look at the doorknob, Naruto noted that the brass appeared far shinier than it had when he left this morning. Oh, sunnuva…

As several expliciteves crossed Naruto's mind, he felt a new mind approach. Turning, he saw none other than Anko climbing the steps to his apartment entrance. Quickly moving to cover the doorknob with his back, he plastered on a fake grin to his approaching sponsor. "Hey, Anko-nee! I was just thinking about you!"

Anko didn't need any of her twelve years of psychological training to tell that the smile and cheer coming off the blonde was faker than a three dollar bill. Still, it wouldn't do to upset him any further, so she played along for the moment. "It's been a while, kiddo. Sorry I haven't had a chance to come buy much since the start of the last year."

Naruto's fake grin just stretched a bit more. "It's okay. I'm sure that those psyche guys needed a lot of your help to catch the bad guys."

At that, Anko almost felt like she could physically rip the psychological mask the pint-sized brat in front of her was wearing off, but that would be counter-productive, so she continued with his act. "Yeah, but I hear that you're going to be one of the ones chasing them now. Congrat's on passing, kiddo."

Naruto could feel his heart breaking on the inside. Without Anko, he knew that he likely wouldn't be alive right now, but he still couldn't bring himself to tell her what his landlord had done. "Thanks. I'll have to introduce you to my team."

Anko had to choke back a sigh, as well as suppress her anger. He had cleaned off almost all of the coffee stains, but she could still see the quickly healing bruise and nicks on his face. She had also seen the shiny new lock on the door that her soon-to-be adopted little brother had tried to hide from her. Still, she felt that she needed to continue the game. "That's nice, why don't we talk about it inside?"

Naruto's mask finally faltered, if just marginally. She knew how to play this game well, and she had efficiently backed him into a corner from which he could not escape. His grin only faltered a little as he made one more futile move. "I'd love to, but my key broke off in the lock."

Anko finally gave into that sigh that she had been holding back. "Please cut the crap, it really doesn't suit you. The landlord locked you out again."

Even though it was a statement, Naruto answered anyway. "Yeah, he did."

Anko shook her head. I'll have to deal with that man later. "Come on, kiddo, you're coming home with me."

Naruto stood silent for a moment, shocked. "You mean it?"

Anko gave the blonde a smile, far more real than the one he had given her moments ago. "Yup. You're not staying in this dump a day longer."

With that, Anko took Naruto's hand and led him to his new home.