Disclaimer: Tsubasa Resrvoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.
Author's Notes: And with this we have the end of part 1. Think of it as a season finale. It'll be a while before I start posting part 2. Sorry, but I want to get more of it done before I start posting it.
~ All That I Am ~
Part 1, Chapter 6
"My name is Kazahaya Kudo." the blonde teenager said from the backseat of Kurogane's car. They were looking for the co-worker he'd split up with, Rikuo Himura. "My boss at the Green Drugstore said somebody would be coming by today and he sent me out to find you. But all he told me was that it was a black-haired man driving a black car in this area and then he went and sent Rikuo along to rob half my pay!"
"Wait," Kurogane interrupted "so how did this guy…we're talking about Kakei, right? How did he know I was coming today?"
For once the kid, Kazahaya, seemed reluctant to talk. "Yeah. I think…he sees the future, or something like that…sometimes…"
Kurogane wanted to roll his eyes. See the future? Really? That was about as ridiculous as a box-of-luck. But then he remembered that the box-of-luck had supposedly come from Kakei. Right.
"Did he say anything about why I was coming?"
Kazahaya shook his head and pointed out the window. "There's Rikuo."
* * *
The lights of the Green Drugstore were still on when they arrived but Kazahaya and Rikuo led them to a back entrance. The two boys and the two owners of the store lived in small apartments upstairs and at the back entrance downstairs was a communal living room.
Inside was a couch where a large man was sleeping, still wearing a pair of dark sunglasses.
"That's Saiga." Kazahaya explained while Rikuo went through to the shop to find Kakei. "All he ever does is sleep." the blonde said, wrinkling his nose disdainfully.
A moment later, Rikuo returned with a blonde man. He looked an awful lot like Kazahaya to Kurogane, except that his hair was longer on the opposite side. Maybe he was the kid's father or something.
"You've got a letter for me?" Kurogane prompted, shoving his hands in his pockets. On the couch, Saiga sat up, stretching with a yawn to watch them. Fai stood beside him, a few steps behind, at the corner of Kurogane's vision. He looked a little uncomfortable, as if he was thinking he didn't belong there. Kurogane tried to shove Fai to the back of his mind for the moment. This was the important letter his mother had left. That he retrieve it had been the last thing she had ever asked of him.
"Oh?" Kakei replied, with the smile of someone who knows exactly what you're talking about but was going to make you say it anyway. "And you are…?"
"I'm Youou Suwa."
Kurogane heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and turned to see that Fai's eyes had gone wide in a look of complete shock. For a minute it looked like he might say something but then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Kurogane dove to catch him as he fell and succeeded at the last second.
"Fai? Fai!"
* * *
It was nearly an hour later that Fai started to show signs of waking. Kurogane heaved a sigh of relief. As soon as Fai opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling from the couch were he lay, Kurogane spoke.
"Next time eat when we stop for a meal."
But when Fai turned to look at him, his eyes were filled with tears and Kurogane began to think that it wasn't entirely exhaustion and hunger that had made him faint like that.
"Youou…" his voice broke painfully and Kurogane frowned.
"It's my given name. Kurogane is a middle name. I just like it better…"
The tears spilled over, running down Fai's face and his eyes narrowed just to focus. "The one just for us…"
"What?"
Fai sat up and covered his mouth and cried, wrapping one arm around himself.
"Hey, what's…"
Kurogane reached forward but the sobs had turned to laughter, a broken sound that came with the tears.
""His name is Youou." That's what Fai said. "He's the one just for us, Yuui. I can tell." …It was you… It was you the whole time…" Fai looked back to the ceiling, trying to get control of the tears that would not stop.
"I don't understand what you're saying." Kurogane said, confused.
Fai stared into space, recalling the scene from his memory. "It was one of the times that Fai got out. When he came back he told me he had seen a boy through a store window. "His name is Youou. He's the one just for us, Yuui. I can tell." He sounded so certain.
"The fairytale you were waiting for was…"
Fai didn't know how to reply.
Kurogane tried to think back to that day. He was only five, he hadn't thought of it in a long time. His mother had taken him to New Chicago…
"The kid in the window… I stuck my tongue out at him." He was surprised he had remembered that.
Fai laughed. "What did Fai do?"
"…He stuck his tongue back out at me."
Fai wiped the tears with the back of his hand as he laughed, a few, short, heartbroken sounds.
Kurogane joined Fai on the couch, facing him and Fai reached out, taking hold of his shirt tail. He seemed just to want something to hold and Kurogane reached out, wiping away some of the wetness that Fai had missed.
"Aww, isn't that sweet?" Kurogane turned to find Kakei, along with Saiga, in the doorway that led to the shop.
"Now that you know where to find us," Kakei said, "you two should find a place to stay for the night. I'll give you your mother's letter tomorrow. I have a feeling you'll need a fresh start anyway."
"We'd offer you the couch," Saiga said, "but then where would I take my after-breakfast nap?"
-
And so they left to find a hotel. Fai was silent for the entire drive, but he seemed to want to be in constant contact with Kurogane. He didn't let go of his coat once. Kurogane was still waiting for some sort of equalization on the blonde's emotions.
At the desk in the lobby of the hotel Kurogane had chosen, when the clerk asked them if they wanted one bed or two, Kurogane hesitated. This time he asked Fai.
"Do you want one bed or two?"
"One." Fai whispered, holding onto his coat sleeve and Kurogane nodded to the clerk to confirm.
-
It was another nice hotel; everything clean and fresh. Kurogane sat his duffle bag on the room's small table.
"Decide what you want and I'll order room service." he said, taking his coat off.
Fai let go of the material, letting his arm fall to his side uselessly.
Kurogane turned toward the bathroom, but decided to say the words he'd been contemplating since Fai had mentioned his brother.
"…Would you prefer if I didn't call you Fai?"
Fai shook his head. "Yuui died with Fai. I haven't felt like anyone since that day. So "Fai" is fine, since it's familiar."
Kurogane let it settle, but he didn't like it.
Fai reached out to him, touching his chest with a delicate hand and drew near, laying his cheek against Kurogane's shoulder.
"I…would live for you. If you could teach me…I think I lo…"
"No." Kurogane took him by the wrist and took a step back. He couldn't let him say it. Not like that. "I'm not a fairy tale." He wouldn't be Fai's only source of strength. He couldn't allow him to stay crippled that way.
Fai looked up at him, confused, in pain.
"I'm done being used by you."
Fai seemed to accept it and Kurogane didn't know if it would have been a better, or a worse thing, for him to resist.
"I didn't enjoy being led by you and I won't be a lead for you now." Kurogane retraced his step, bringing him back to Fai and, though he kept one hand on Fai's wrist, he lay the other on the blonde's cheek. "I want you to come with me tomorrow, and finish what we started."
Curiosity seemed to flood Fai's blue eyes and Kurogane was glad but now was not the time to let it show.
"But I don't want you to do it because it's what I want, or because you're being clingy. If you can't find a reason, then don't." His words were harsh but Fai's wrist relaxed in his grip and Kurogane let it go.
Fai smiled, a small, genuine smile. "Kuro-min's morality, again?"
Kurogane humphed , removing his hand from Fai's cheek and Fai's smile grew wider.
"Then I'll go with you because I haven't lived yet, right? Living with Kuro-kun isn't easy, you know." Fai teased gently. "He doesn't give handouts and makes me work for everything. But I guess there are some things worth working for."
Kurogane grinned. "That's been my experience."
And this time, Kurogane kissed Fai. In the absence of alcohol, Kurogane could feel the subtle hint of newness in the gesture, the feeling that something was beginning for them both. Fai's body seemed to want to melt against his, his lips, so soft against Kurogane's own, moved with a welcoming apprehension, a testament to Fai's seriousness that had never been there before.
-
That night, Kurogane held Fai in his arms and the blonde slept with a soft smile on his face that Kurogane had never seen before, certainly not in sleep, and, as cliché as it might have been, all was right with the world.
* * *
The next morning, after a quick breakfast, Kurogane and Fai made their way back to the Green Drugstore.
"To be honest, I was expecting you a little earlier, Suwa-san." Kakei said. He was holding the letter out to Kurogane, an amicable smile in place that could give even Fai a run for his money.
"Don't be so hard on the boy." Saiga said, wrapping his arms around Kakei's shoulders. "You know how easily kids can exhaust themselves."
Kurogane snatched the letter with a scowl. "What I was doing is none of your business. Besides, this thing's been sitting around with you for seventeen years. Another seventeen minutes isn't gonna make any difference."
Kurogane tore the envelope open, noticing the small weight inside and tipped it up, watching as a small key fell into his open palm. Had his mother left him a house or something? Then he pulled the letter out and flipped it open. The length of it intrigued him more than anything. It was more of a note than a letter.
"Well?" Saiga prompted. "We're not the local postal service, you know. Let's hear it."
Kurogane frowned, but read the letter aloud anyway.
"Youou,
The hand of destiny has led you to where you now stand. As the last heir of the Suwa family, you are now entrusted with the chair that your parents once filled in the house of the feather. You are not meant to understand this now. Take the key enclosed within to the First National Bank of Neo Tokyo and all will be explained."
"Yes and you'd better hurry too, or you're likely to miss your flight." Kakei added, holding out a folder which Kurogane reached for much more slowly than he had reached for the letter.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, kid." Saiga said, indicating Fai. "I didn't catch your name last night so your passport reads Fai Suwa. I hope that's ok. Just make sure you memorize it before you get there and burn it in a few days."
Fai stared back open mouthed. "Wha…? But…"
Rikuo appeared in the door behind them. "The car's running." he said.
"Rikuo will take you both to the airport and see that you find your flight." Kakei explained. "Feel free to leave your vehicle here. We'll store it for you."
"Wait a minute!" Kurogane protested.
"The flight leaves in twenty-five minutes." Rikuo said from the door.
"Keys." Saiga prompted and, reluctantly, Kurogane dropped them in his open hand.
-
Fai spent the hurried drive to the airport memorizing his travel papers while Kurogane tried to get answers out of Rikuo. The only clear answer he got was that Rikuo was happy to get rid of them when they arrived. They had to run to their gate and, even then, only just made the final call.
"All I'm saying is…there's nothing wrong with taking a boat…" Kurogane complained. "I can make my own travel plans. I don't appreciate not having a choice in the matter."
Fai laughed nervously as they made their way to the airplane at the end of the line of passengers. "Is Kuro-chan afraid of heights?"
"I'm not afraid!" Kurogane yelled and Fai gave him a little push as they got to the plane itself. "I don't have any problem with heights." Kurogane hissed. "What I have a problem with is airplanes."
"Do you want the isle seat?" Fai asked. He was being considerate. Kurogane didn't like it.
"No." He took the window seat and closed the shade.
Fai took the seat beside him, far too close for comfort were a stranger sitting there. Kurogane lay his hand on the divider between them as the plane prepared for takeoff and looked around, watching people get themselves situated and attendants explain things to first time fliers and mothers with children.
"Have you ever been on an airplane?" Fai asked, trying to distract him. This time, Kurogane was grateful.
"When my mother and I went to New Chicago, we took a plane then. Going was fine but coming back, we went through a storm. The whole airplane shook and…You know, if a boat sinks, there's always time to evacuate but when a plane crashes you're dead. And I'm not afraid of dying!" Kurogane insisted, glaring Fai down for good measure. "I would just prefer not to do it by splatting against the ground from a thousand meters."
The engines were running and the airplane was coasting to its runway. Fai lay his hand over Kurogane's and gripped it gently. Kurogane had not realized how hard he had been holding onto the divider until Fai's hand had averted his attention.
"Are you boys doing alright?" a stewardess asked them, making her last pass down the isle before the plane took off. "Nervous?"
Fai smiled and shook his head. "That's what I have Kuro-rin for."
The stewardess returned his smile and continued on her way and Kurogane closed his fingers around Fai's hand.
- - 9 + hours later - -
"That stupid bastard did this on purpose!" Kurogane yelled. He hadn't realized when he'd boarded the plane in Survivor's City that it was going to be the middle of the night when they got to Neo Tokyo. Now he had to get a cab and find a hotel in one of the most expensive cities in the world!
Fai sighed as he looked up at the darkened sky overhead from the airport in Neo Tokyo. "Now I hate flying too." he said humorlessly.
"I'm beginning to feel like a ping-pong ball," Kurogane muttered. "chasing after this thing."
Fai didn't reply.
They walked together to the waiting taxis and Kurogane asked for a decent hotel, nothing too expensive. The cab driver made small talk and pointed out some bars and restaurants in walking distance from the hotel where he took them. Fai didn't appear to be paying attention and admitted, later, that he couldn't speak the language.
Getting settled in their hotel was relatively easy, seeing as they had been so rushed at the Green Drugstore that they had left their clothes behind in Kurogane's car.
Having nothing to do until the bank opened in the morning, Kurogane could have settled down for the night but, frustrated, he didn't feel like sitting still, so he decided to go out to eat instead.
"You like sushi?" Kurogane asked, as they stood in the chill night air outside their hotel.
Fai paused. "It…isn't my favorite food."
"It isn't your favorite food like it doesn't taste like chocolate cake or it isn't your favorite food like you can't stand the stuff?" Kurogane asked, irritated.
"The latter." Fai answered promptly and Kurogane heaved a sigh, turning in the direction away from the sushi restaurant.
There weren't a whole lot of restaurants open after midnight, even in Tokyo. Kurogane almost asked Fai what he wanted, but then he remembered that Fai had ordered pasta dishes more often than not whenever they'd actually eaten real food so he stopped in front of a small Italian place that looked like it was going to be closing within the hour. Neo Tokyo was a city that had a little bit of everything.
Fai caught his arm as Kurogane reached for the door. "Aren't we…underdressed?" He was wearing the black shirt, along with the new bell-bottom pants he'd gotten in Survivor's City, simple, plain and Kurogane had seen him look better, but only on the outside.
"You look dressed to me." Kurogane answered him simply, turning away from Fai and back to the door in front of him. "Do you want to eat here or not?"
Fai hesitated, but when Kurogane caught sight of him from the corner of one eye, he saw that Fai was smiling.
"Kuro-pu is so gallant!" he exclaimed, latching himself onto Kurogane's arm.
Kurogane pushed open the door, trying to shake Fai off of him as they walked inside. "Get off of me you…little blonde leech."
Somehow, though, his words didn't have the snap in them they once had.
-
"Tell me all about Kuro-tan." Fai said, over his plate of bowtie pasta. "Since Kuro-pii knows all about me, it's only fair."
"My name is Kurogane." he replied, an exhausted reminder that he fully expected to be ignored.
"Yes, but, putting that aside…"
Kurogane growled. "I've already told you haven't I? I lived with my mother until she died and…and then I went to New Chicago. We moved around a few times. My father died when I was little. There's not much to tell."
Fai pouted. "That's so formal. I want to know personal things; like Kuro-ru's favorite music, or his favorite book, or his favorite childhood memory. Do you have discs at home with images of little Kuro-chan in the bath?"
Fai seemed excited by this. Kurogane wrinkled his nose in disgust. "If I did have such things, I would burn them before you could ever get your hands on them."
"Oh, poo." Fai laughed. "I bet little Kuro-ta was adorable!"
Kurogane shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth, eager to get through dinner with some dignity intact. His mother had often said he was adorable, especially when it embarrassed him. She would have gotten along great with Fai. He could just imagine them giggling conspiratorially over a digital album on the couch.
"Sirs,"
Kurogane looked up to find a nervous young waiter standing over their table. He spoke to them in practiced English.
"I've brought your check because the restaurant is closed now. If you'd like anything further, please just call for me. I'll be cleaning up in the back room, ok?"
Kurogane nodded and thanked him and Fai smiled and nodded.
Once he'd left, Fai traced a finger around the rim of his glass, looking out at the empty tables around them.
"This is a very nice place, Kuro-min. Thank you for bringing me."
Kurogane snorted dismissively. "I just didn't feel like sitting around the room. Don't get all sentimental."
* * *
"Someday we're going to have to get our eating schedules straight." Kurogane mused as they wandered back to the hotel.
"Now where would the fun be in that?" Fai joked, walking just a little closer to Kurogane, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans.
"I used to get up at the crack of dawn, train for an hour and eat breakfast, all before school." Kurogane replied. "Every day. A routine is good for you."
"What is it that Kuro-sama is going to do after he goes to the bank tomorrow?" Fai asked suddenly. "Are you going to college? Do you have a career in mind?"
Kurogane glanced at Fai, then shook his head, deciding to answer him. "I…thought I would open a school…to teach kendo, or martial arts."
Fai turned to him with interest. "I didn't know Kuro-tan knew martial arts."
"A little;" Kurogane admitted. "what I've taught myself. I'm more interested in kendo, but I could find someone else to teach the martial arts. It's a good thing to learn, not for the skill so much, but for the discipline."
"It sounds like a good dream." Fai agreed.
"It's not a dream." Kurogane argued, pulling open the door of the hotel's lobby with a yank. "It's just something I'm gonna do."
-
Fai watched as Kurogane took off his shoes and tucked them under the bedside between his feet. He'd already toed his own off and scooted them toward the far wall with one foot, out of the way. When he was finished, Fai stepped forward and set one hand experimentally on Kurgoane's shoulder. When his only reaction was a look of curiosity, Fai let his body follow, climbing on Kurogane's lap as he reached down to pull the larger man's shirt over his head.
"What are you doing?"
Fai hummed, unconcerned. "You shouldn't sleep right away after a good meal."
Kurogane let the shirt go, trying in vain to read Fai's thoughts as he slowly raked his eyes appreciatively down the new expanse of tanned skin he'd uncovered.
"I want to be at the bank first thing in the morning." Kurogane was not deaf to the waning resolve he seemed to have every time he told the blonde no.
"Just give me a minute." Fai leaned over, melding his mouth to Kurogane's, his hands trailing down the bare chest, feeling out every curve of muscle and tendon in his path as his tongue swept along Kurogane's in a gentle dance.
Kurogane, not knowing what to do with his own hands, found Fai's slender waist a good place for them. Through Fai's shirt, he could feel the faint impression of his backbone and let one hand travel up it, liking the curve of his spine beneath his hand.
Fai pulled away and their eyes met, blue filling Kurogane's world as they allowed their breath to slow and even once more. Fai seemed to want to say something but decided not to and before he could even fully smile, Kurogane cut him off.
"Don't give me that look." he demanded, glaring at the blonde in his lap. "If you've got something to say, just say it."
"You said you wanted me to finish what we started but won't we be finished tomorrow, when we go to the bank with Kuro-sama's key?"
It was obvious that Fai wasn't expecting the fist that collided painfully with the top of his head.
"You're still an idiot."
And without further explanation, Kurogane removed the idiot from his lap and turned around, laying down to get some sleep with his back to Fai.
Moments later the light went out and Fai was trying to worm his way into the small space between Kurogane's chest and the edge of the bed. Kurogane let him, moving back to give him space. Fai curled against his side, as close as he could get, laying his head on Kurogane's chest, splaying a hand on the smooth skin of his abdomen.
He lay there in silence for a long time before he spoke and Kurogane had almost nodded off when his conscious caught the soft words.
"You know, I've never slept with anyone before you. Except Fai. I didn't know it would be nice."
Kurogane didn't reply and eventually let sleep take him, one arm curled around the warmth at his side, the other hand gripping the one over his heart.
* * *
"Name." the bank manager prompted, his stony face showing no expression whatsoever. When Kurogane had taken his key to the lady behind the desk, she had called in the manager and now they had to start all over again.
"Youou Kurogane Suwa."
"Key."
Kurogane handed over the key.
"One moment, sir."
The bank manager disappeared with the key into an office room and locked the door behind him. Through a grated glass panel, Kurogane could make out the man's impression talking on a telephone.
He returned moments later, his expression as non-existent as ever and returned the key to Kurogane. "I have been permitted by the signer of that room's lease to grant you entry but the signer insists that you take only family inside with you."
They hesitated but it was with a small start that Fai spoke up. "We are family." he informed the manager. "We're married."
Kurogane whipped his head around as Fai brought out his travel pass, listing him as Fai Suwa and, after inspecting it closely, the manager nodded.
"Right this way, please."
Kurogane and Fai followed the man through a maze of underground hallways, passing countless doors along the way until they reached a dead end with only one remaining door and he bowed to them, turned and left.
"How are we going to find our way out without him?" Fai wondered aloud and, silently, Kurogane had to agree.
He held the key up to the door. He had been imagining a small storage box, not an entire room. Maybe he was rich and didn't even know it.
"Isn't it strange?" Fai asked and Kurogane turned to look at him curiously. "Your mother gave you the key but she wasn't the signer on the lease."
That was strange. And what the hell was "the house of the feather", anyway? Kurogane hadn't thought much on it, because the note said that he would get an explanation and he had to get here first, but now…
"I wonder what could be inside." Fai mused.
"There's only one way to find out."
Kurogane put the old-style key in the door and turned it. A series of clicks were followed by a series of louder thunks and when the wall before him quieted, Kurogane pushed open the door.
The room inside was dark but as the door opened, lines of fluorescent lights on the ceiling began activating, one long row at a time, revealing bit by bit three large tanks in the center of the room. In the tank on the right was a teenage boy, dressed in a green skin-tight suit, floating in a clear liquid. In the tank on the left, a teenage girl, dressed in the same suit in pink, and in the center tank, the only tank smaller than the others, was a small, rounded, white creature with long ears and a red jewel in the middle of its forehead.
"What the hell?!"
**** Part 1 end ****
A Note: "Keys" would not be used anymore in this time but this particular room has not been technologically updated (probably by the holder's request).
Post Whatevers: The Green Drugstore and all of its employees are from CLAMP's manga Legal Drug (or Lawful Drug). There are only 3 volumes of it so far and it does tie into the XXX Holic and Tsubasa universe. Kakei is not Kazahaya's father as Kurogane thought, but they do resemble one another.
Kurogane and Fai's world is expanding and Fai's flux of emotions may finally be leveling but I don't think he'll really settle until it's all resolved. In the next part, we'll be meeting old friends and old enemies (all Fai's, of course), there'll be a shocking revelation about the nature of the very world itself, we'll discover how "the other half" lives, someone we know is getting married, and SOMEONE WILL DIE! Mwaa ha ha!
That's a lot to look forward to. Can you believe I've been stuck on a single scene for over a month now? I'm going to try very hard to work my way through it. As always, if you liked please review and until next time, Ja!