Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.
Author's Note: This story is rated M. Yay!
- Inu-chan is accepting commissions on deviantart right now for very low prices. There's a link to her page in my profile. She does KuroxFai commissions for me so I thought I'd pass it along. She's working for money to get her first dollfie and if anyone doesn't know what that is, please look into it. Dollfies are amazing.
All That I Am ~
Part 2, Chapter 4
There was no time for Kurogane to look back at Subaru's mansion with Subaru standing in its doorway as an irate Kamui ushered them onto the private jet and ordered Fuuma to take off. The door had not even sealed shut before the craft lifted into the air. He seemed to be in an exceptionally hostile mood for some reason Kurogane could not fathom and disappeared into the cockpit, locking the door behind him.
"What the hell crawled up his ass?" Kurogane groused, glaring at the cockpit.
Fai chuckled. "I think maybe we interrupted him."
"I don't recall anyone saying he needed to come along." Kurogane argued back.
"I mean I think it may be more of what didn't." Fai clarified.
It took Kurogane a minute but he got it eventually and turned his attention elsewhere, giving the locked door one final disgusted look as he slumped into one of the armchairs.
Fai followed suit, sitting in Kurogane's lap.
Kurogane turned the look on him. "Get off."
"Poo." Fai pouted. "Why? No one's watching. I like being near Kuro-tan." he whispered, nuzzling into Kurogane's neck.
"Don't do that." Kurogane growled – but he wasn't sure if he meant it. He let Fai have his way until the blonde settled, his face pressed into the space between Kurogane's neck and shoulder. He thought Fai had wanted to say something but he seemed to just be enjoying the silence.
He wondered if he could get used to this, given enough time.
"What are you going to do when we get back there?" Kurogane asked, regrettably causing Fai to move, sitting up to look back at him.
"Ashura." Fai answered decisively. "Fei Wong will call Ashura to clean any buildings he's vacating so only Ashura will know where he is."
"Are you sure you can trust this Ashura guy?" Kurogane wasn't sure he liked the idea of turning to a criminal "cleaner" for help. "If Fei Wong's heard about you being in Russia, he could have paid Ashura a lot to let him know when you're back in town."
But Fai shook his head. "Ashura doesn't work for Fei Wong, he's just been contracted by Fei Wong. He's very strict about doing what he's been paid to do. He's not a hitman and he's not a snitch."
Kurogane didn't have anything to say. He couldn't argue to the contrary. He just didn't like it.
"Ashura was always trying to look out for me." Fai said, staring off into the distance. He knew I was looking for a way out and made me promise if I was ever going to leave town that I would stop by his house first. He even made me memorize the address. But I knew that he would try to talk me out of it so I promised but I didn't go. Unless he's heard from Fei Wong, he probably thinks I'm dead."
Fai let a moment pass in silence before he stood, forcing a smile as he turned back to Kurogane. "I think I'll take Subaru up on that bathtub offer."
Kurogane watched Fai disappear into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar just enough to let steam escape but closed enough to prevent anyone seeing inside by mistake. He watched the area for a while – and found out that the chairs swiveled when you pushed a directional button on a panel underneath the armrest.
The more he watched the door, the more vivid his imagination of what Fai might be doing in there became. Eventually, he decided that there was no reason to sit in the chair and wonder about it when he could go and find out. The door was open, after all.
oo
Kurogane pushed the door in slowly at first, seeing Fai before the blonde spotted him. Kurogane had never actually looked in at the bath, as it was separate from the toilet. The space inside was much larger than he had envisioned and the tub, a large, oval structure, appeared to have all the amenities. A large showerhead even hung from the ceiling overhead.
Fai was sitting in a mountain of bubbles, his knees bent above the waterline and the rubber duck in his hands. He appeared to be talking to it. Kurogane grinned and pushed the door open the rest of the way.
"Kuro-pon." Fai looked up, still holding the rubber duck.
"Thought you might need someone to wash your back."
Fai's smile brightened like the sun had suddenly come out from behind the clouds in full force as Kurogane crossed the room to him. "Aww!" he squealed, releasing the duck into its natural environment. It disappeared into the bubbles immediately. "How sweet! I knew Kuro-pluff was really a softie under that gruff exterior!"
Kurogane reached over and turned on the shower on cold.
"EEEK!" Fai screeched, jerking back away from it. "Eeek! I take it back!"
Kurogane turned it back off and Fai glared at him with a little pout.
"Meanie. Now I'm freezing."
Kurogane's smug grin caught Fai's attention. "Guess I'll have to warm you back up, then."
Fai grinned back, slyly. "Naughty boy."
Kurogane reached down to pull his shirt off. "You're a bad influence."
Fai slid forward, folding his arms on the edge of the tub to watch as Kurogane undressed.
His lecherous grin made Kurogane blush in spite of himself.
"Do you have to stare at me like that?"
"Absolutely." Fai answered happily.
"I'm sorry I asked." Kurogane mumbled, stepping into the tub opposite Fai.
He found there was plenty of room for them both.
"Bubble baths are for little kids you know." Kurogane muttered, shoving a mountain of bubbles away toward Fai.
Fai scooped some up and dabbed Kurogane's nose with it, grinning.
Kurogane frowned as he wiped it away.
"Kuro-rin only complains because he has no imagination." Fai returned matter-of-factly.
"I try but it's hard to imagine you as a sane adult." Kurogane replied in the same tone.
He couldn't escape the wall of water that washed over his head but he made sure that Fai got just as wet for it.
And Fai laughed. It was nothing like the sound of his counterpart's laugh. It was strong and loud and carefree. Kurogane knew that this feeling would be gone by the time they landed but just now, for just this short amount of time, he felt like he could possibly forget that.
Kurogane moved forward, intending to kiss Fai, but made the mistake of supporting himself on the edge of the tub, slick with soapy residue and slipped, falling toward Fai instead. He caught himself at the last minute but Fai erupted into shrieks of laughter at his expense.
Reaching up, Kurogane shoved Fai down under the water, giving him just enough time to take a breath before he went under.
Fai came up fast, ambushing Kurogane tongue first, pressing against him and plundering his mouth. Kurogane was so caught off guard that he didn't notice that Fai's pressing against him was pressing him backward until Fai shoved him back and he went under himself.
Fai had his innocent look in place by the time Kurogane came up coughing. He seemed to be waiting to see what Kurogane would do but when Kurogane reached behind him and pulled out the rubber duck, he smiled and closed the distance between them, taking the duck and offering him a kiss in exchange.
The duck let out a long, loud quaaaaack between Fai's hands and Kurogane reached down, pulling it away from him carefully and giving it a toss out of the tub.
"Was Kuro-rii jealous of Mr. Duck?" Fai asked, slyly and before Kurogane could even answer, he reached down and gave Kurogane a squeeze too. Kurogane didn't make quite the same noise, but Fai was entertained nonetheless. "Don't worry, Kuro-pu has the monopoly of me."
This time when Fai kissed him, Kurogane grabbed his ass and pulled him forward, pleased to note that he wasn't the only one with an erection.
"That's good to know." he muttered against the blonde's mouth. "But I wasn't worried."
Kurogane grabbed their erections together and Fai moaned into the kiss.
"You're right." Fai conceded when they parted for air, Kurogane pumping them together with long, slow strokes. "The rubber duck is out of my league. Just look at his tub."
Kurogane let himself go and squeezed Fai hard enough to pull an eep from him. Fai pouted and Kurogane grinned. "I'd be careful if I were you. The rubber duck's a lying cheater."
"I…Is that so?" Fai returned distractedly. Kurogane was stroking him again, touching the slit at the head of his erection just so.
"Oh yeah." Kurogane guided Fai's leg forward and slid a hand up the slender limb affectionately, all the way to his ass. "He got you into the tub under false pretenses. It's not even his tub."
Fai rose up, bending down to bring his lips to Kurogane's. "I thought he got a little too upset when I was talking about you."
Fai reached around to guide Kurogane's hand to a better place as they kissed and Kurogane didn't protest, probing the tight ring of muscle at his opening, gently at first, then pressing harder, slipping in.
Fai moaned, holding onto Kurogane's arms and laying his head to rest on his shoulder as Kurogane's finger moved in and out of him. Every few strokes he would dip it down into the bathwater to help the process and then there were two.
"Is it painful this way," Kurogane whispered, concerned "without lube?"
Fai shook his head no and kissed the side of Kurogane's neck. "It feels good."
A third finger joined the first two and soon Fai was pressing back against them. Kurogane grinned, glad Fai couldn't see. Kurogane could feel his every rocking motion in the pulse of blood to his groin. It was intoxicating. He almost didn't want to break the rhythm…almost.
Pulling his fingers out, Kurogane brought his hands to Fai's hips to guide him into place and Fai obliged, sinking himself down where Kurogane positioned him, his back arching as he took the length of him in.
It was completely different from their first time, not just the push and pull and rush of the water as they moved it in tandem but because this time it was Fai doing most of the moving, setting their rhythm.
For a moment Kurogane was caught in the sight of him, lips parted as his breathing became heavy and his eyes half-lidded and unfocused. Watching him do all the work himself might have been enough to make Kurogane come on its own but he was too prideful to let that happen and he couldn't be satisfied unless Fai came too. So the next time Fai rose up, Kurogane thrust up and met him forcefully coming down.
Fai gasped, eyes flying open as he fell forward against Kurogane's chest and they began a more rigorous pace. Fai began with his hands flat against Kurogane's chest but soon they were wrapped around his neck, giving him a better angle. Kurogane could hear from the pitch of Fai's voice which strikes had hit his prostate, the noises building until Fai was panting and Kurogane was heaving and both came forcefully, Fai's seed forced between them as they each tightened their hold and their lips found one another's hungrily.
-oOo-
"We'll miss you guys." Fuuma called out from the exit door of Subaru's private jet. "You'll have to visit us soon!"
Fai smiled and waved back. "It was nice to meet you. Take care, Fuuma and Kamui."
Fai nudged Kurogane and the other man grumbled. "Don't let that Subaru guy work too hard."
"Will do!" Fuuma answered, saluting him exaggeratedly. When Kamui didn't add anything, he elbowed him gently and Kamui frowned.
"Next time bring your own lube."
Kamui slapped the control and the door slid shut in front of them.
A moment passed in silence afterward before Fai broke into laughter. Even Kurogane couldn't help but chuckle a little.
"Come on." he said, turning. "Let's go find a cab."
Fai hefted the duffle bag he'd brought from Subaru's house and looped his arm through Kurogane's as they walked.
Kurogane let his eyes slide to the side. He hadn't really taken much notice of the bag when Fai had loaded it into one of the plane's little hide-away spots but now he noticed that it was heavier than it would have been were it filled with clothes.
"What's in there anyway?"
Fai smiled up at him unassumingly. "Goodies." he answered simply. "From Subaru."
Kurogane guessed food could account for the weight.
"Isn't someone from customs supposed to meet us?" It was Kurogane's understanding that nothing was supposed to leave or come into this country without some authority knowing about it but Fai merely shook his head.
"Subaru took care of it."
Kurogane rolled his eyes. 'Subaru took care of it' so that Fai could smuggle in Italian sweets. Wonderful.
"And hey," Fai added, waving his arm out to hail a taxi on the sidewalk in front of the airport "I noticed you're feeling a lot better after this landing."
"Yeah." Kurogane nodded. "Guess I've gotten used to it." Then again, certain activities had made it kind of difficult to think about the actual flight…or the plane they were on…or much of anything.
oo
It was easy to find a cab even though they'd landed off of the airport's schedule. Fai recited the address to the driver and fell silent in the seat next to Kurogane, his duffle bag sat securely between his feet, his fingers stroking its straps distractedly.
Kurogane watched him for a few minutes but when it became clear that Ashura lived quite a distance away, he looked away from Fai and said "Tell me more about this Ashura guy."
"About Ashura?" Fai asked, looking back to him, his hands stilling. "Like what?"
"Whatever." Kurogane answered, irritation flaring suddenly. "Is this going to be a short visit? How much are you planning on telling him? … What's he look like?"
Kurogane figured he'd better at least know who to glare at in case someone else answered the door.
Fai smiled and leaned into Kurogane's side. "I do believe Kuro-puu is feeling a little territorial here."
"I am not." Kurogane argued, shoving him off.
"Hmm…" Fai didn't sound as though he believed him but he answered anyway. "If I had to use one word to describe Ashura it might be…cultured…or maybe suave? Ashura is the type of person who doesn't like to miss afternoon tea. He has long black hair like silk and…I don't think I've ever seen him without an expensive suit on. When we're alone…Ashura calls me Yuui, even though I told him not to. He said that way…I can't ever forget."
Kurogane followed Fai's gaze out the window. It looked like they might be heading out of town.
"Have you ever…been with this guy?" He was hesitant to say it, afraid that Fai would give him some kind of look, like he shouldn't bother to ask and answer something like 'Of course.' or worse, he would give him a pitying look and his answer would be the same but instead, Fai's answer came quick and firm.
"Never. Ashura was always…the safety net."
Kurogane couldn't help feeling just a little relieved.
oo
The cab took them out of the city. Kurogane tried not to let his mind wander. He didn't want to think about Ashura, who quietly watched children suffer and die or Fei Wong, who used them for his own selfish gain or how much it all pissed him off. It would have been nice to think back on Subaru's bathtub but now probably wasn't the time for that.
Kurogane turned back to look at Fai. He was chewing his bottom lip, staring out the window lost in thought.
"How long?" Kurogane asked, pressing the intercom to the driver.
The driver shrugged. "Eh…three seconds…ish."
The car slowed to a stop and Kuroagne pushed the door open, standing to find it parked in front of the oddest structure he had ever seen in his life. The house itself was large in the simple house structure with accompanying garage to the right, nothing like Subaru's mansion, but impressive in its own right. But it was standing alone in its field with no surrounding esthetics; no gardens or statues or even a fence and behind it was what looked to be a gigantic greenhouse, inside of which the green tops of trees could be seen.
A walkway led from the road to the house and Fai began down it slowly, duffle bag in hand, walking as though the house were somehow pulling him toward it.
Kurogane slammed the car door shut and followed after him, catching up in only a few strides. Behind them, the cab pulled away, the sound fading into the distance, leaving them behind. Neither spoke as they continued moving forward until finally they came to the door.
Fai raised his hand to knock but stopped short. It didn't matter though, because just then, the door swung inward and standing across the threshold was the man who could be none other than Ashura himself.
Long ebony hair spilled across his shoulders and down his back. The barely visible lines of his age made him look dignified rather than old and widened golden brown eyes gave away clearly his surprise and happiness to see the guest at his door. Kurogane caught him glance his way, ever so briefly, but his focus remained on Fai.
He reached out, taking Fai's willing hand in his own, holding it dearly. "Fai."
Something in the way he said it made Kurogane bristle.
"It's alright." Fai turned back to him, letting Ashura keep his hand, Kurogane noticed. "Ashura, this is Kurogane. He knows…everything."
Ashura's gaze softened, though Fai didn't see it. "Yuui, then." Ashura guided him inside, wrapping an arm around his shoulders that Kurogane would have liked to break. "Please come inside quickly. We've been having pests about lately. We'll talk in the parlor."
Kurogane closed the door behind himself.
Ashura released Fai once they reached what Kurogane assumed was the parlor. Cream colored sofas and matching round wicker chairs surrounded a long, glass coffee table, the room lit by the afternoon sun shining through a patio door, its curtains drawn aside and tied neatly.
"Please," Ashura said, indicating Kurogane and waving an arm to encompass the seating "have a seat."
Ashura waited for him to do so before continuing, taking his own seat on one of the sofas opposite Kurogane and before Fai could decide where to sit, he reached up for his hand, guiding him down beside him.
"When I heard you'd disappeared, Yuui, I thought the worst. Why didn't you come to me like we'd discussed?"
Fai was ashamed; he couldn't meet Ashura's eyes, looking instead at the hand lying atop his own. "I knew you were going to try to talk me out of…I didn't want to disappoint you…"
"I'm glad you came back." Ashura's hand came to rest atop Fai's head and Fai seemed relieved. Ashura's small smile slid wider. "Now, I do believe your friend is feeling left out. Perhaps we should move on and, if I may, jump to the conclusion that you came to me knowing that Fei Wong has gotten himself in a tizzy trying to collapse his Chicagoan empire."
Fai met Ashura's eyes this time and his determination seemed to surprise the older man. "We actually came to ask if you know where he is right now."
Ashura seemed to be contemplating Fai's request but finally answered him. "I'm to meet him tonight in fact, at the place we both know well. Perhaps you'd prefer if I didn't go…" His gaze slid to Kurogane and back to Fai.
"I'll take your place." Fai affirmed and Ashura looked away.
"I see. … Kurogane, was it?" he asked, his eyes falling on Kurogane across the way, but Kurogane couldn't actually tell if he'd changed the subject or not.
"Ashura?" Fai asked, not sure how to respond.
"I can't decide if this is surprising, or merely the inevitable outcome of the events that led us here."
"Ashura…" Fai's quiet voice was nearly a whisper. "Kurogane's first name is Youou. Kurogane is the boy that Fai saw that day in the drugstore window."
Ashura's eyes widened, more disbelieving than astonished, Kurogane guessed, but they turned to look at him just the same and Kurogane figured he'd better defend his honor because he could already see Ashura coming to the conclusion that he'd lied to Fai…or Yuui…just to string him along.
"My mother took me with her to that drugstore to meet with the owner."
Ashura turned back to Fai, gripping his hand. "Yuui, I know you want to stand up to Fei Wong, as well you should, but you weren't meant to do this." Ashura stood, pulling Fai up with him. "I did not ask you to visit me so that I could talk you out of killing yourself. There was…something that I wanted to share with you. Will you join me?"
Fai nodded and Kurogane stood, intent on following them. If they ended up in a bedroom, that Ashura was going to miss his appointment for a different reason.
They followed Ashura up the winding staircase and down a hallway toward the rear of the house. Turning into another hall, they came upon a unique feature: the upper half of the house's outer wall was transparent, allowing observers from the hallway to look down into the greenhouse as if from an observatory.
It was either the most impressive…or the most outlandish…sight Kurogane had ever seen; a spring green lawn surrounded by multi-colored flowers with a line of lush green bushes backed with leafy trees to the left. There was even a round, white tea table with two chairs on a circular brick platform.
Kurogane was confused. Had Ashura built all of this for Fai? Had he planned on living in wonderland with him like some fairytale?
"Ashura…it's…"
Ashura silenced Fai, a hand on his shoulder turning him back to look down on the greenhouse.
"Watch."
The simplicity of his statement drew Kurogane in as well and they both stared down at the serene scene below, waiting with bated breath for some expected, unknown event.
Nothing happened for a few moments, making Kurogane wonder what it was he was supposed to be watching for; and the thought did enter his mind that it was nothing that they were meant to see but were merely wasting time while someone Ashura had called for arrived, but then suddenly a dog bolted out from the tree line, racing into the open. It was sleek, black and brown; a Doberman, purebred probably. Its tongue flopped out of its mouth as it looked back over its shoulder toward the trees and Kurogane followed its gaze back, squinting unknowingly to see more clearly across the distance.
It was only seconds before the brush was disturbed again and this time it was a person who ran into the clearing. The sound Kurogane's hand made as it slapped the glass, supporting his weight as he leaned forward in shock, sounded loudly in the stillness but Fai scarcely seemed to notice.
The man below them seemed to move in slow motion, his silky blonde hair, tied into a low ponytail flying around his shoulder and despite the distance, Kurogane could have sworn he could see the sparkle of clear blue in his eyes. He was laughing, looking back over his shoulder where another dog, another Doberman, was running to his side. Even the brilliant afternoon sun, shining down on him through the clear walls around him seemed to surround him in light. Seeing Sakura and Syaoran's Fai had been nothing like this; this froze the beating heart in his chest.
Kurogane's gaze snapped to the blonde standing next to him. Fai…no, his Fai was Yuui… and Yuui's eyes were wide and terrified and awed and shimmering with unshed tears, his hands pressing against the barrier before him.
"Fai." he whispered.
His brother was alive, alive and well and happy and looking down on him was the survivor that Kurogane had come to love, looking at the vision below like the twisted reflection in a shattered mirror looking out at the normal world.
And Kurogane understood something in that moment. Fai…Yuui…had nearly killed himself to be together with the person that Ashura had kept hidden from him all these years. When the only thing he had had to cling to was the memory of his twin, Ashura had watched him suffer and perpetuated that suffering with every reassuring smile and gesture of kindness. Countless times he could have spared him the feelings that had driven him to that cliff in the rain that Kurogane would never forget…and he'd chosen not to.
And rage flooded through him.
Kurogane surged forward, grabbing the dark-haired man by the shirt front and yanking him forward. "What the hell is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "How could you do this to him – all these years! What kind of person could stand by, pretending to be his friend and keeping away from him the only thing he ever cared about!"
"Ashura?" Fai's voice was small and weak as he turned toward the man that he had anchored so much of his childhood to. "Why?" The tears spilled over. "How could you let me think that you had…that he was dead?"
Ashura pulled himself away from Kurogane. "Yuui," he said, firm and patient "you have to understand. When I discovered that Fai was alive, I took a great risk in not performing my duty. If Fei Wong had ever discovered what I'd done, not only would I be in danger, but Fai as well. I couldn't tell you that he was alive. You had to believe that he was dead or someone would have gotten suspicious. You have to believe me; I wanted to tell you so many times. I wanted to take you away from that but I wasn't…in a position to save you."
Fai brought his hands up, staring at them, watching them shake with emotion. "Every time…that you touched me…I could see those hands…cutting him apart."
Ashura seemed to have come up short on words to placate him. "I'm so sorry."
Fai too, fell short of words and turned back to the overlook, touching his hand to the glass softly. "Fai..." The tracks of tears down Fai's cheeks … down Yuui's cheeks… ran like rivers and there was nothing Kurogane could do or say. And he aimed the frustration that stemmed from that straight at Ashura.
"Yuui…" Ashura seemed hesitant and irritation flared in Kurogane again as he turned back for whatever the man was about to say next. "Your brother doesn't remember anything … even you." The pain in Fai's eyes was strong as the information sank in and Ashura turned himself toward the glass, looking down on the twin below. "The technical term for it is dissociative amnesia. In layman's terms, it means that a tragic event has happened and his mind has blocked it out."
"He doesn't…remember me?" Fai…Yuui did not turn to look at Ashura.
"The memories are still there..." Ashura clarified. "and from time to time they still try to surface – whenever he sees his own reflection or certain scenes in movies…"
"And let me guess," Kurogane interrupted "you've tried to keep those times to a minimum."
"Yes." Ashura's answer was direct. "I kept him waiting, Yuui…for you." Ashura pressed a button on a small space of wall that sectioned the observatory glass into two and Fai, seeing him, threw himself at him in sudden panic.
"Don't!" he pleaded, clinging to the man's arm desperately but Ashura ignored him entirely.
"Fai, would you please come upstairs. There's someone here I'd like you to meet."
Down below, Fai looked up at them and Yuui shied away.
"Don't tell him please!" Yuui begged.
Kurogane didn't know what to say so he came forward, laying a hand on the blonde's shoulder.
Yuui whirled around and Kurogane felt helpless in the face of his desperation. "He's so happy like this. I don't want him to remember it! Please!" He gripped Kurogane's sleeves in white-knuckled fists but Kurogane had no time to answer him because behind them all an elevator door slid open with a swish.
Kurogane turned to face the twin who truly belonged to the name he had called so many times. He looked so much like his Fai…like his Yuui but only on the surface. His eyes were light and carefree and curious and his smile was sweet and honest and Kurogane understood …Yuui's… fear; that it all would vanish the moment he remembered the horrible things that had happened to him – the moment he realized that his brother had lived through them alone.
Yuui was hiding behind him and Fai was standing in front of him - and getting that alone through his head was determined to give Kurogane a headache. Fai tilted his head to the side. Obviously he could see that someone was hiding behind him. Kurogane blushed slightly and reached an arm behind him to shoo Yuui out. It was too late to back out now.
Fai's smile slid away as he saw the one who shared his face step out from behind the man before him. It was clear that he didn't understand what was going on, but he was trying to figure it out.
He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but nothing came out and he continued to stare until finally a single word formed on his lips, whispered in breath, insubstantial as the forming memory behind it.
"Yuui…"
Kurogane wanted very much not to be between them. Yuui seemed to have frozen, unable to reply, or even meet his brother's eyes. He was lost. And what was he supposed to say, Kurogane wondered. But the longer he stood silent, the more Fai seemed to be connecting the dots in his head, his eyes widening and the growing look of uncertainty, of insecurity, told Kurogane that all of the memories that Yuui had wanted to spare him were materializing behind his eyes.
When the tears began to flow from Fai's eyes, tears he didn't even seem to have noticed, Ashura approached him. "Perhaps we should give them some privacy." Ashura suggested, and he placed a guiding hand against the back of Kurogane's shoulder, leading him away.
Kurogane looked back, but it didn't seem as though Yuui had noticed him leaving. Fai crumpled to the floor, a hand covering his mouth, and Yuui ran to him, embracing him tightly.
oo
Ashura called for a butler to serve tea as he sat across from Kurogane in the parlor, his legs crossed, hands folded business-like over his knee.
Kurogane had never had tea with someone he wanted to beat the crap out of before. He understood all of Ashura's excuses but he just couldn't get past the feeling that if he had been in the same situation, he would have rearranged hell and moved the goddamned earth to have saved them both and despite all of Ashura's ready answers, there must have been something that he didn't do; a line he could have crossed, but failed to.
Fai's…Yuui's…Yuui…Yuui's words kept replaying in his head, a perfect recording of the most horrific story he had ever heard. "…And it's in my head! How Ashura had to cut him up, in tiny pieces and carry it all away in a bag and burn it in the incinerator." Ashura had claimed he wasn't in a "position" to save Yuui, but he had let him think that, had let that thought settle in a child's mind, let his imagination see it happen, over and over. It was disgusting.
When the tea came, Ashura sighed as he lifted his cup. "You don't have to keep giving me that look." he said over the rim. "Your disapproval is duly noted."
Kurogane accidently kicked the coffee table when he moved, spilling some of the tea still on the tray. "This isn't disapproval!" he barked. "It's disgust! Fai…"
"Yuui." Ashura interrupted to correct him calmly.
"Yuui" Kurogane continued, never skipping a beat "trusted you. He turned to you when the nightmares of his dead brother were making him sick and you let him think it. What kind of sick person can lie to a little kid while they're pretending to care about them? What kind of person can just stand there and let that kind of shit happen?"
"Finished?" Ashura asked, uncrossing his legs and setting his cup on its tray in front of him. "It's easy for you to say that I could have done things differently, done more, or less. It may be admirable to think that way, but it is seldom effective. If I were to throw my life away for every child I'd seen in trouble, there would be nothing left very quickly. Despite how you may think of me, Youou Kurogane, I care about those boys very much and I have always had their best interest in mind."
"Theirs…or yours?" Kurogane questioned.
Ashura's smile was acquiescent as he stood, looking down on Kurogane to speak. "This must have been a stressful day for you. Perhaps we could continue our conversation at a later date. I do look forward to knowing you better but alas, I have some business to attend to so if you get hungry, please don't hesitate to ask cook for anything you like and if you spend the night, the butler will show you to the guest room."
Ashura bowed, graciously ignoring Kurogane's snarl, and left him there to do god knew what.
Kurogane felt like breaking his tea cups just for the satisfaction of it but he settled for giving himself a private tour of his house instead…he had left him alone in it, after all.
oo
Kurogane figured he'd start at the bottom and work his way up. It took him a while, but eventually, he found a stairwell leading down. Of course, the door at the bottom was locked tight with a digitized lock that Kurogane didn't have a chance at hacking. He tried for a while, of course, but it really was a waste of his time.
Coming up the stairwell, he found the butler waiting in the doorway for him.
"Shall I get the master to open that door for you?" the man asked. Kurogane couldn't tell if his condescending tone was intentional or not.
"You can't open it?" Kurogane returned, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I cannot." the butler answered him.
"What's he got down there?" Kurogane figured he'd go ahead and ask as long as they were on the topic.
"It is the private lab belonging to the physician that master Ashura keeps on retainer."
"Oh yeah? What's he do in there?"
The butler gave him an unimpressed stare and answered drolly: "Take master Fai's temperature."
Kurogane frowned. It was obvious he wasn't about to get any answers out of this guy.
"He around; the doctor?" Kurogane elaborated, his interest sounding dull.
"He is on holiday." the butler replied.
Kurogane nodded slowly and sidestepped the man, ignoring him as he made for the staircase.
The butler didn't follow, but Kurogane knew he was watching his back as he ascended the stairs.
Yuui and Fai were nowhere to be seen and Kurogane didn't want to interrupt them so he wandered the halls for a bit and then found himself back on the couch in the parlor. There wasn't even a tv or a computer in the room.
He found himself thinking of the woman who'd given him directions in California; how fast she'd opened her door. Had she opened it so quickly for years and years driving herself crazy wondering if the next person to knock might be the one coming to tell her her sons had finally been found? He couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
When the last rays of sunlight dimmed and gave way to darkness, Kurogane got up and found the kitchen. There was no cook inside, so he helped himself to the refrigerator. He made himself a sandwich with prepackaged meats because a stray morbid thought that popped into his head when he found a container of leftover meatloaf, likely unfounded and colored by his distaste for Ashura, steered him away from anything homemade.
Afterward, he sat on the couch again and waited. It was several hours before anyone passed through the parlor; well on the way to midnight, when the butler came to show him to the guest room.
Kurogane was led to a bedroom down a small downstairs hall where the butler turned to leave him for the night.
"Hey." Kurogane called, stopping the man short. "Take me to see those twins."
The butler turned back and seemed to consider his request for a long moment until finally he nodded once and took leave, leading Kurogane up the stairs to a closed door where he left him with a nod to the door.
Kurogane watched him go and settled his hand on the doorknob, listening for sounds from inside. The room seemed to be quiet, so rather than knock he tried the door and found it unlocked.
The light from the hall flooded the room, illuminating the two figures curled toward one another on the large bed inside. Their hands were clasped together between them.
Kurogane stared at them for a moment before gently easing the door closed. It crossed his mind to wake Fai…Yuui. He had been so determined to face Fei Wong and tonight was likely his last chance to do so but he was hesitant to cross that threshold; to disturb the scene inside. So he returned to the guest room but that felt wrong, too. Eventually, he settled for watching at one of the windows that overlooked the front lawn for any sign of activity, like Ashura leaving to keep the meeting that was supposed to take place soon. He was just bored. He felt displaced.
About an hour later, in the still silence of the darkened house, Kurogane heard footsteps descend the stairs. He slipped away from the faint light of the curtained window and watched as the slim figure made for the door Kurogane assumed led into the garage.
The figure paused outside the door, messing with the lock on the wall, too occupied to notice Kurogane moving closer. He knew who it was long before he could make out the man's frame clearly, he'd known who it was the moment he'd noticed their approach.
Fai, his Fai - and thoughts like that were growing tiresome to Kurogane, was waiting for the hacking devise he'd plugged into the lock to find the right combination of numbers to allow him passage. Kurogane wondered briefly where he'd got the thing but he had a sneaking suspicion that it had been tucked away with the "goodies" he'd gotten from Subaru. That duffle bag was sitting on the floor at the blonde's feet.
When the devise finished and the indicator light on the lock changed from red to green, he pulled it free and leaned over to tuck it back into the duffle bag and bumped into Kurogane's solid form behind him.
The smaller body before him jerked forward with a startled gasp and whirled around to face him, pressing himself back against the door behind him.
Kurogane was unimpressed. "Going somewhere?"
A sigh of relief was followed quickly by a hesitance Kurogane could see in the way the blonde turned from him partially and held the devise awkwardly to his chest.
"Kuro-rock…will you do something for me? … … Call me Yuui."
"Idiot."
Yuui met his gaze and Kurogane consented.
"Yuui."
Yuui smiled, looking down at nothing, it seemed, an expression full of sorrow and relief. "It's strange. I feel like I've just been brought back to life."
"Yuui."
Kurogane repeated, finding the sound an odd fit to the man standing before him. But it didn't matter to Kurogane what he was called. Kurogane brought a hand to the blonde's cheek, pulling it away to let some of the golden strands of his hair slip through his fingers until he caught them.
"Yuui."
Kurogane fisted the hand gently in the mess of blonde hair and leaned down to meet the man he'd grown to love.
"Yuui."
-oOo-
Yuui threw up the slider switch, instantly illuminating the garage as they stepped inside.
Kurogane had to squint at first from the sudden change in lighting.
The vehicle closest to them was a sleek, black town car. Kurogane followed Yuui around it and through the large space next to it to the motorcycle parked at the far end.
"Have you ever driven one?"
"I used to have one." Kurogane affirmed. "But it was junk and that might as well be alien technology by comparison." The new, shiny black motorcycle before them was operated by touch pad. Kurogane couldn't see Ashura on it.
Yuui tossed him a helmet, affixing one himself. "Good enough." He took his seat, leaving room for Kurogane in front of him, his duffle bag held securely across his lap.
Kurogane was beginning to get a bad feeling about that bag.
Taking the spot in front of Yuui, Kurogane tried to remember how he'd seen people on tv start one of these; they were in all the new movies. He just hoped that Ashura hadn't programmed it for voice activation or something ridiculous like that.
He pressed his right palm to the touch pad and held it there for several seconds, pleased when the lights appeared around his hand and the engine started with a quiet, steady hum. As he slowly eased the machine toward the garage door, its motion sensor kicked in the automatic open feature, pulling it up out of their way.
Yuui's hands were clutching the sides of his coat and Kurogane couldn't help but grin as he opened up the throttle and the bike shot out of the garage and down the path to the street. Yuui pressed tightly against his back, his arms locking around Kurogane's waist as he nailed the turn onto the street and sped back toward the inner city. He had to admit, Ashura picked good toys. It was the smoothest ride Kurogane had ever experienced and, getting past the controls, he wouldn't mind having one.
As the city lights began to surround them, Kurogane slowed, careful not to draw attention. He followed Yuui's directions to an empty lot, fenced off and posted with no trespassing signs. They walked Ashura's motorcycle through a break in the fence. There was no artificial lighting in the enclosure but Kurogane could see from the occasional light of the overcast moon that it was far from abandoned. In fact, they were surrounded by a virtual cardboard town and, one by one, people began to venture out to investigate their arrival.
Kurogane kept his gaze forward. He had no idea what Yuui was doing here but neither was he going to ask. Ahead of them, the front flap of a large box was thrown up and two children ran across the yard to meet them. Yuui sat his bag down to welcome the girl, folding his arms over her shoulders when she threw one arm around his waist. In the other she was holding a small doll tight to her chest. The boy, a teen with dark chestnut hair, stopped short.
"You're ok!" the girl cried into Yuui's waist and the blonde smiled gently, petting her hair.
"Of course."
"Some asshole said you killed yourself." the boy said, crossing his arms over his chest and Yuui looked up to him.
"I'm sorry. I had to leave. And I'm leaving again soon. I won't be back."
"I'm taking good care of Hikaru." the girl declared, showing him her doll.
"I'm glad."
"Where are you going?" the boy asked, uncrossing his arms and loosening up a bit.
"Japan." Yuui answered happily.
The boy wrinkled his nose with distaste. "What's in Japan?"
Yuui laughed and jerked a thumb in Kurogane's direction. "This guy."
The boy nodded vaguely, turning and looking hard at Kurogane, sizing him up.
"Look," Yuui said, changing the subject and laying a hand on the motorcycle "I need to stash this here for a while. I'll be back for it soon, ok?"
"Fancy ride." the boy commented in Kurogane's general direction.
"It's not his." Yuui corrected. "We're just borrowing it."
The boy nodded again and came forward to take it from Kurogane. As he led it into their box, Yuui knelt down to speak to the girl again.
"I won't ever see you again?" she asked, tearfully.
"I can't say that." Yuui replied. "Ever is a very long time. I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Nobody does. That's why I want you to promise me something."
The girl leaned closer to him conspiratorially.
"Does that funny pervert man still walk in the park every Sunday?"
Kurogane raised an eyebrow.
The girl nodded.
"I asked around and I think that man is really a good person. So I want you to ask him to adopt you, ok? But take Ryu with you, just in case. Promise?"
The girl nodded firmly, hanging on his every word. "Ok, I will."
"We'll keep your bike for you." the boy said, interrupting them as he approached and Yuui nodded, standing with his duffle bag.
"Thanks. We shouldn't be too long."
"If you don't come back, I'm selling it." the boy threatened.
"Yes, sir!" Yuui returned, clicking his heels together and saluting. Yuui spun on his heel and walked away.
With one last look behind them, Kurogane followed.
"What kind of advice is that to give a kid?" he wanted to know. "To go looking for perverts."
Yuui turned to him and smiled. "Nobody's perfect."
Post whatevers: KuroxYuui... It's not my intention to confuse people but it had to be this way and afterall, this is not Horitsuba. Little girl with her doll and the "pervert" are from Angelic Layer and Ryu is Ryuuoh. As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!