Rise and Fall Chapter 3: Like We Never Loved At All, an alice, 2009 fanfic

AN: So, my internet has cut out, so I am having a hard time getting my stories updated, much less reading other people's stories, or responding individually to all my wonderful reviewers (so sorry, but thanks for the reviews). At the moment, I am taking advantage of my favorite coffee shop's wifi. Hopefully my internet will be fixed soon.

Updates are coming for both my other stories (Hare and Hatter, and Tea and Tension) for those of you who are reading those ones too. I apologize for the delay on them.

But as this story is almost completely written already, here we are... the next chapter.

LIKE WE NEVER LOVED AT ALL Faith Hill and Tim McGraw

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But I'm still livin' with your goodbye
And you're just goin' on with your life

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

You, I hear you're doin' fine
Seems like you're doin' well
As far as I can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did

Did you forget the magic...oh
Did you forget the passion
And Did you ever miss me
And long to kiss me

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved...at all.

...

On December 3rd, Alice had enough.

Enough restless nights, dreaming of Hatter and wishing his arms were around her. Enough staring at her phone, trying to decide whether or not to call him. Enough moping. Enough crying.

Enough weakness.

She wanted... no, needed, to stop living this half-life, whether or not Hatter still loved her. Whether or not Hatter was ever coming back. The familiar lump rose in her throat again at her thoughts, but she defiantly swallowed it down. "Not helping," she told herself.

There was an early Sunday advanced class at the dojo, and she hadn't been to it in a while. And after that, she was going to go out Christmas shopping, and maybe even buy herself a new outfit or two. And some groceries... the cupboards were getting a little bare. She felt a bit better, having planned out her day. Today she was not going to sit around and miss him.

Even so, as she moved to grab her keys, her eyes landed on her cell phone. It had been too silent lately. Only her mother ever seemed to call her anymore, and even that wasn't too often. She picked it up, and automatically scrolled through her contacts to Hatter's number. She stared at it for a long moment, her thumb hovering over the send button.

…

She had tried to call him.

The first five times it had gone to his voicemail, and she had listened to his recording each time, because it was his voice, but never left a message.

The sixth time, after one ring, his voice had been there. "Alice?" Full of hope.

And she had frozen. What was she going to say? I miss you? I want you to come back home? I want to try again?

… maybe even I'm sorry?

"Alice?" His voice had sounded confused. She realized she still hadn't said anything.

Then, she had hung up.

Seconds later, her phone had rang, its piercing jangle causing her to jump. Hatter's name had appeared on the call display. She hadn't picked it up.

Three days later, he had stopped calling again.

…

She hissed at herself and placed the phone back on the table, and fled out the door.

…

When he had asked her out for dinner sometime, she had almost said no, reflexively. Then she had paused.

"I'll think about it," she promised.

Tim grinned at her. "Would that have been a yes if I asked you in a British accent?" His attempt to mimic one was atrocious, but it caused Alice to smile, a tad ruefully. He had noticed that her last two partners were apparently British transplants.

"I think I've had enough of dating... Brits, for a while," she responded, with a little levity, but found herself wincing in spite of herself.

Tim reached over and gave her a quick hug. "Call me when you feel up to it." Alice watched him retreat back to his car, turning at the last minute to wave at her.

She had known Tim forever. He had been at the same belt level as her for most of her years of training, but he was still working on his blackbelt, as he had started to diversify in his physical training when he had become a cop, whereas Alice had stuck purely with judo.

Alice and Tim had always had a great rapport, and he had been happy to see her at the advanced class. By now, most of the people who knew her and frequented the dojo were aware that Hatter was no longer around. He had been a common enough presence that the falling out was obvious.

Could be worse, Alice thought. Tim was a great guy, and was really good looking to boot. She strongly vetoed the guilty feeling, the protest in her mind, at the thought. Tim was good looking, but he wasn't Hatter. Her mind conjured his wild hair, his dark chocolate eyes, his dimpled smile.

She sighed as she shouldered her bag and headed toward the apartment to grab a shower. Who was she fooling? She wasn't ready to move on yet.

…

Alice was feeling a lot better as she walked home. Retail therapy had proven to be just what she had needed. She had found the perfect sweater for her mom for Christmas, bought herself a great pair of jeans and some new boots, and was now enjoying a warm gingerbread latte as she strolled through the Christmas lights in the park on her way home. It was quite cold, and her breath formed little clouds in front of her, and a few flakes of snow were starting to fall, making the perfect Christmas scene.

She could see the skating rink, where she had come with her father on a couple of occasions, and bee-lined toward it. The trees around it were lit up with Christmas lights, and a circle of old-style street lamps provided light and ambiance for the skaters.

She leaned on a rail and watched the skaters whip by, smiling slightly to herself.

Then she caught her breath, and stared.

On the far side of the rink, she saw a familiar hat, perched atop a chaotic mop of brown hair. He was wearing a blue and green paisley hoodie (though where he had found such a piece was beyond her – only Hatter could have pulled it off right), and a black leather jacket unbuttoned over it. He looked amazing, other then the fact that he was wildly flailing his arms and rocking back and forth on his skates.

Then her smile froze and fell from her face as she saw him grab helplessly at the arm of a slim blonde with a bright orange scarf. The action didn't keep him on his feet, rather it dragged the girl down on the ice on top of him. She rolled to the side, and he sat up, both laughing. She clamored to her feet and pulled him up, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders instantly to avoid collapsing again, and they both grinned.

Alice felt her blood start to boil as she stared jealously at the girl with her hands on Hatter. How dare she! Wait... how dare HE!

Then her eyes started to burn. Hatter had moved on? She fought against the despair, against the tears. The good feel of the day was gone. She wanted to look away, but somehow, she couldn't stop watching.

He looked about ready to fall again, but this time he managed to balance himself, and take a couple awkward steps on the thin blades. That's when he looked across and saw Alice... and froze. Froze for a moment, before his feet once again went out from under him and he collapsed onto the ice.

The blonde pulled him up once again, and Alice saw him motion toward her. The blonde nodded and took his arm, helping him awkwardly skate to where Alice was standing.

Alice wanted to leave, wanted to run, but she seemed rooted to the spot. So instead she pasted on a tight smile as the pair approached. "Hi Hatter," she managed, with false levity. "Who's your friend?"

Hatter's smile didn't reach his eyes, and he looked a bit uncomfortable. "Alice, this is Sami. Sami, meet Alice."

The blonde smiled, a bit of an awkward smile. "Nice to meet you, Alice. He's always talking about you." She hesitated, and looked between the two for a moment, before turning to Hatter. "Davey, I'm going to go for a couple of laps. I'll catch ya in a bit, yeah?"

Without waiting for a reply she skated off.

…

Davey? She calls him Davey? Alice fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Who's she?" Alice knew she sounded every bit the jealous girlfriend, but she couldn't help it.

"She's just a friend," he replied. His voice sounded tight, like he was holding back.

"Yeah, you look rather friendly." Alice didn't realize at that moment, she sounded just like Jack Heart. It wasn't lost on Hatter though, and for a moment, a dark shadow passed through his eyes. But he shook his head, and it was gone, and a neutral expression had replaced it.

A long silence fell. Then Hatter took a deep breath. "Alice..."

Alice didn't know what he was about to say, but she could guess. Alice, I've met someone. Alice, I think it is time for us to see other people. Alice, maybe we can just be friends. She wasn't going to give him the chance.

"I should get going." She turned quickly so that he wouldn't see the tell-tale emotions in her eyes. She wasn't nearly so practiced at hiding them.

"Alice... wait. Please." She paused slightly at the please. It sounded mournful, almost longing. But she couldn't shake the sight of him laughing, his hands on the blonde girl with the orange scarf.

She glanced back slightly over her shoulder. "Bye Hatter." Her voice cracked slightly, and she rushed away.

…

As she walked away, Hatter's facade dissolved and his shoulders slumped. Which threw him off balance and sent him crashing down onto the ice once more. He barely seemed to notice. He just sat there on the cold surface and buried his forehead into his palms.

Sami sighed as she skated over and dropped down to sit beside him, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other skaters, and the cold that seeped instantly through her jeans. Today he had seemed so much better, but the misery was now back with a vengeance. Her only consolation was that Alice had looked equally miserable.

He sat in silence for over half an hour before the cold started to be too much. He raised his head out of his hands, and seemed surprised to see that Sami was still there.

She smiled softly at him. "Welcome back."

She got to her feet and reached out her hand to pull him up and they both awkwardly made their way off the ice.

"I think I need a drink," Hatter rasped, shivering.

"Okay," Sami conceded. "But just don't make a habit of drowning your sorrows, okay?"

Hatter chuckled ruefully. "I was actually talking about tea. I learned my lesson. I'm not touching that other stuff again."

Sami grinned. "Come on then. There's a great little place a block from here. My treat."

…

Alice flung open the door, satisfied when it banged loudly against the wall. She threw the bags into the living room and grabbed her cell phone from the table.

"Hi, Tim... It's Alice... Just wondering if you wanted to go out and grab a bite to eat?"

She took a deep breath as she hung up and went to change for her "date". If Hatter could move on, so could she.

…

AN: Don't hate me. :) I have plans for Alice and Hatter, and it involves happy. Stay tuned.

BTW, I am usually a purist who does not make use of many OC's (other then minor roles... ie Tessa in How He Left) but as the looking glass is sealed now, most of the usual crew couldn't make it to intervene. And Alice and Hatter need some intervention, no?

Please review! And thanks again to my wonderful reviewers! You make me very happy! Cheers!