A/N: Honestly, I didn't want to kill Carlisle. I think he's one of the two good things about Twilight (the other is Alice). But I promised to indiscriminately kill all the Cullens, so...here it is. Carlisle is killed by the Master, during the End of Time (I figure the vampires wouldn't have changed into Master copies because they are not human and the machine was set to change only humans). It was hard to come up with Carlisle's one defining fault, but I think that once I remembered he was a doctor it all worked out nicely. Let me know if you agree. :) Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Master, and I certainly do not own Carlisle Cullen.

Neutralization, or

the Reason Vampires are still in the Badass Club, or

How the Master Killed Carlisle Cullen

"Sir?" the Lieutenant Master saluted, coming to attention behind the Original Master. The renegade Time Lord stood still, staring out the window in contemplation.

"Get a unit together," the Master said. "There's something I have to take care of."

"Sir? You're going personally, sir?" the Lieutenant Master asked, shocked.

"For this…" the Master turned, a manic grin spreading across his face. "Oh yes!"

In the far northwestern corner of North America, in a town famous the world over for having the most commonplace and useless name in the world, a pale, blond man stood on the front porch of his house, staring out over the green forest. He sighed heavily, lamenting the lack of wild animals to feed on, and the lack of patients to care for. And it wasn't that there weren't any patients—it was that they had all transformed before his eyes into that hale, hearty Master. He sighed again.

In a blur, he disappeared from the front porch, and in seconds reappeared with a squirrel in his hands, who very shortly to be drained of blood completely. He did not want to be hungry, in case any humans happened by. Of course, he'd been defying his own digestive system for approximately four hundred years, and figured he would be okay. But you never knew… He was so intent on feeding, he did not notice the Master, followed by a phalanx of other Masters, melting out of the forest and stalking closer.

"You are Carlisle Cullen, vampire," the Master stated. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," he said, dropping the drained squirrel and holding out his hand. "And you're the Master. Nice to finally meet the original." His politeness only made the Master roll his eyes in exasperation.

The Master said, dripping with sarcasm, "Why don't we sit around over a cup of tea and chat about all the wonderful things you do, and I end up spilling my guts to you so you can take care of me. I don't think!" He began rubbing his hands together, building up frictional energy. "Besides, you remind me of someone. Someone I hate. I just can't stand him, and his goodness, the way he helps everyone and tries to save everyone. It's just disgusting! And you do the same exact thing!" Carlisle looked confused, but politely stood back, as if waiting for the blow. It came: an arc of bright blue, crackling energy slammed unmercifully into his head, eventually blowing it off completely. The smoking trunk fell limply to the ground and the Master's copies quickly lit both pieces on fire. The Master turned away, smiling. He was proud he had saved his fellow members the embarrassment of belonging to the same club as that nancy-boy—his club, no less! He returned swiftly to London, and the ongoing search of the upper atmosphere for the Doctor.

Carlisle was not smiling. In fact he couldn't anymore, because he was no long undead. He was now dead, never to move, let alone sparkle, again. Most people in general the world over cursed the Master for killing such a genuinely good person, but no amount of wishing could bring the good doctor back to life— er, unlife?—and the true non-sparkling vampires of the world were re-admitted into the Badass Club. The Master was proud to have been the savior of his Club, fulfilling his duties as President of the Badass Club by neutralizing the threat. And all badass creatures slept content that night, saved of the embarrassment of one of their own replacing menacing with something as completely un-badass as sparkling…

Expect Emmett soon...