OKay I know it has been what almost 3 days since i UD! sorry i was just wanting to make sure it was good and plus i have to go to work also! :) hope you like please R&R! thanks!

Dimitri's pov

It's been two and a half weeks since Roza has gotten locked up. It's been two and a half weeks since I last seen her face. I love her more than anything or anyone can try to understand. But everything I've put her through when I was Strigoi kills me. I made her my Blood-whore. Something I know she hates, but not only making her my Blood-whore I had this need, this obsession of wanting to turn her into a Strigoi- almost succeeding at it as well. Even as Strigoi I still loved her. Not with the same passion, more of an angry-hatred driven passion. It was so strange because it was still love none the less but love in the wrong ways. I guess we are truly soul mates. I mean she owns my whole heart and soul. Once I was freed from that state or horror - a blood sucking Strigoi - my love has grown more intense and harder to ignore. I don't understand it, this strong feeling of need for her, but I just can not allow myself to let down my walls and become close to Roza once again. I've hurt her to deeply now.

That is why I did snap and became filled with rage when I saw the guardians coming to take My Roza away from me. No one is ever going to hurt her. I've hurt her enough to last her the rest of her life. I was willing to die for her. I am still willing to die for her. But I could see it in her eyes that she didn't want me to get involved. She truly has turned from me; she does really believe I do not love her anymore. I guess that's what's to be expected especially since I told her I no longer loved her. 'Love fades. Mine has'. Speaking those words almost brought me to my knees. Weak from the lie I was telling her. Seeing all the pain and anguish in her eyes. It was a blow to my stomach. I felt my chest beginning to constrict. But knowing my Roza, she is strong and wouldn't want to show she was hurt from my words. That is one of her most admiring qualities. Her strength.

Her strength. Strength that I don't even behold. These last two and a half weeks have been killing me with each day that passes. No one has been allowed to visit Rose. She is in total confinement. Well besides the twelve guardians that are always with her twenty-four seven. I wish I was with her twenty-four seven, holding her in my arms. Roza's beautiful head resting against my chest with the warm brush of her sweet breathe on my neck. My heart aches as I think about her being trapped in a cell surrounded by men guarding her. Ugh, just the thought that she doesn't receive any privacy from the eyes of other men makes my blood boil with rage. I mean Roza is so heart-breaking beautiful. With her perfectly proportioned curves many Dhampir wished they had and her long sexy, silky dark hair. Then there are her eyes that can tell you stories, but only if you knew how to read her and if she let you. Of course they would be watching her closely, she is the best damn looking Dhampir I have every seen in my life and she is mine. Well was mine till I pushed her away. FUCK! I hate myself so much.

I have to see Roza now before I go mad from not knowing how she is doing. I know she believes I don't want her or want to see her but that was all just a lie for her to think that I didn't love her anymore. Ever since she and Lissa brought me back I couldn't face her because every time I would look at her I would remember all that I put her through and did to her when I was Strigoi. That was why I told Lissa to keep her away from me. So I can try to see if my heart would heal. But Rose being Rose didn't give up. She pushed and pushed till I gave her an answer. A total lie, but it was an answer none the less. 'Love fades. Mine has.' That's why I also need to talk to her. To tell her that it was all a lie. That I was trying to protect both our hearts from anymore heartache. That's why I am on my way to the prison's cells. I have to talk to her. Or if she won't talk to me I need to at least look at her, to make sure she is okay; and if anyone has touched her I will put them through so much pain that they will wish for death. Now I just have to find a way in so can her.

"Guardian Belikov," Guardian Alik Nikitin says with a slight smile on his lips. We have known each other since we were young and lived in Russia. He is also the one guarding the entrance to the cells. One way in one way out type of thing. "How have you been?" He asks.

I try to smile but I just can't bring myself to even fake one. "Well I have been much better before Guardian Nikitin." I know I must look tired and have dark circles under my eyes. I have barely slept three hours a night since my Roza was taken. I know he can see that displayed on my face since I don't have much energy to use my guardians mask to try and hide it.

"Dimitri," he uses my name like he use to when we were young students as a friendly way to talk to me, "did you come her to ask me something or where you just passing by?"

We aren't far from Rose's cell. It's strange the way these cells are set up because it's just a long hallway with cell rooms. Guess they are made that way because they know no one's her to stay permanently. Oh my Roza, she is on trial for the Queen's murder. I know with all my heart that she didn't do it, she just managed to be the one people want to pin it on to feel safe as soon as possible. I need to find a way to save her. I will not let them kill her. If she dies so do I.

"Dimitri?" Guardian Nikitin tries to capture my attention because I have gone off into my own head thinking about my Roza once again.

"Yes, Guardian Nikitin, I was just wondering if I can see Guardian Hathaway for a couple of minutes?"

He hesitates before saying his next few words, as if trying to puzzle something together, "You know they have striped her from her Guardian title right? She is now just Rosemarie Hathaway."

I look away quickly to compose my face. Just hearing that feels me with anger and sadness. Rose has always worked so hard to claim her Guardian title and it took her years to gain it and now here at the Royal Court they have taken it away in a matter of seconds.

"Oh I didn't know. She hasn't been found guilty… she is just a suspect." I tell Guardian Nikitin. While trying to hide my frustration.

"No, I guess because its has to deal with Queen Tatiana's murder and because they say the evidence is solid that –"

"No!" I say I little too forcefully. "No, I know she didn't do it. I know her Alik; she would never do anything like that. Someone must be setting her up. Someone with help from the inside. I don't know who or why but that's all I could think of. There is no other explanation to why they would accuse her of such a horrible act. She may be wild but she always has good intentions even when no one can understand or see it until the end. Trust me Alik she would have never killed the Queen. It has to be a set up." I say in a hushed voice so no one can fully hear the words I exchanged with Alik.

"Sorry I didn't know. I mean I have heard rumors of you two being close and all but I never thought it to be true. I can tell you really care for her and I do trust you. I have always trusted you Dimitri ever since our days as students. But how and why I don't understand why someone would kill the Queen? I do see why they would try to pin it on someone and especially Rosemarie but for what reason to kill the queen?" He says in a confused state as if now putting all the pieces together.

"Yes," I say because I know there is no way to avoid the truth any longer. "I care for her a lot Alik. I love her. But I have put her through so much pain. It kills me every time I think about what I have done. I told her before they took her that I no longer loved her." My voice cracks I look down at my hands clasps together and my knuckles are turning bone white. "I could see the pain in her eyes and ever since that moment in the church when I told her I have regretted it. Alik I am going mad just these past weeks being away from her and not knowing if she is alright! I know she didn't kill the Queen Alik and I want so badly to see her, I need to see her just to ease my mind a fraction. To help keep me sane just a little while longer." I look into his eyes pleading. "So please let me just enter. I am a guardian after all. Please, please Alik." I didn't even answer his question about the Queen. My mind was just too focused on my Roza.

Still looking puzzled he answered me, "Yes Guardian Belikov." That's all he said but it was more than enough. If it weren't for the other surrounding guardians I would have run up to her cell. But I have to remember to look strong and compose myself as a Guardian.

Then I saw her laying face up on the cot. I look around and notice it's the same cell I used when I came back and no one trusted me as being turned back into a Dhampir once again. This is were I stayed for a while and I remember Roza was standing exactly where I was standing trying to grab my attention as I am about to do now.

"Roza." I say but she doesn't seem to have heard me so I speak her name again.

"Roza." What's wrong with her, why isn't she listening to me? She must have heard me because she is now clenching her fist together. She does hate me.

"Please Roza look at me." I beg her. I know she heard me this time because she stops breathing and squeezes her eyes shut as if trying to block me out. After a few seconds she sits ups and looks me in the eyes. Her beautiful eyes are glossed over; she is trying to hold her tears back. Shit! What am I doing? I am just causing her more pain. Causing me more pain. She doesn't voice a word just continues to stare at me as if waiting for me to say something. I can't bring myself to look away, it's like I am looking at her for the first time. Still struck stupid by her looks and her very presence. It takes all my focus and strength to form words to come out of my mouth but of course she beats me to it.

"Guardian Belikov" I clench my fist when she calls me that. She never calls me that not even when we first met. Except for the time at the ski lounge when we were arguing and I hurt her by calling her young and immature, "what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be following Lissa around since you did vow to guard her since she saved your life and did all that dangerous hard work to bring you back as a Dhampir." She tells me with so much acid in her voice. I have truly screwed my ass over with Roza. I look down and away from her. Her words cutting into me.

"Please Roza I came here –" she cut me off before I could even finish one simple sentence.

"Do not call me that name!" she hisses at me. There goes another blow to my stomach.

"Rose I came here to explain to you the truth. The truth is that… the truth is" I couldn't bring myself to tell her I kept stuttering before I could tell her. So on last minute thinking I burst out my explanation. I told her the truth, to get it off my chest so I could at least have a little more air to breath. But there was one problem I told her in a language she would not understand, I told her in Russian.

"Roza моя любовь я так очень, очень жаль. я люблю Вас больше чем моя собственная жизнь, и я ненавижу меня за то, что поместил Вас через всю эту боль. Я только отворачиваюсь от Вас из-за того, что я сделал к Вам, когда я был strigoi. Я люблю Вас, и я хочу Вас, но я не заслуживаю Вас."

Remember R&R!

Thanks,

~ Nizza