Genma: Ah Christmas, the day children wait for more than anything else in the year.
Major: Vat about the beginning of Var?
Doc: Or the day your experiment finally vorks?
Captain: *Incoherent mumbling*
Genma: What weird, demented children do you have?
*Schrödinger appears, rubbing against major's leg.*
Genma: Okay, freaky Quantum cat-boy hybrids don't count.
*Schrödinger begins to cry*
Major: Now look vat you'fe done. You'fe hurt his feelings.
Genma: Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
*Genma scratches Schrödinger's ears, Schrödinger stars purring.*
Genma: That's better. Still don't own Hellsing.
*Doc pulls out remote*
Doc: Unt now, the finale…
Order III – What Dreams May Come
When Integra came to, the form of the intruder was leaning over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders and his shins on either side of her waist. The drunken face of the man looked into her eyes with a disturbing expression of wanton lust, his teeth bared and saliva running down his chin. Integra could smell the alcohol on the man's breath, and the man's bloodshot eyes seemed utterly fixed on her.
"Well, well, well aren't you pretty…" the man stumbled to say, his words slurred and muddled by his sheer intoxication. Picking up one of his hands, he managed to brush along the side of Integra's hair, coming closer to her skin with every stroke. With her vision blurred and her heart racing, she already feared the worst.
But her prayers were answered in the form of a low, dark laugh that emanated from around the room, seemingly coming from all the shadows. Catching the drunken man off guard, it gave Integra just enough time to kick at the man with her heel, throwing him off her and over onto the floor.
Looking up as she stood, Integra understood what had caught the man's attention. All the shadows of the unlit room seemed alive, pulsating and writhing; and looking closely, she could see that they were made of centipedes, with some red eyes every few feet staring out at the people in the room. Alucard's insane laughter continued even after she was up, and it seemed to entrancing to her that she almost didn't notice what was happening.
The drunken man, somehow limber enough, had pushed himself to his feet and pulled out a jack knife, charging at Integra with the intent to stab her. Though she jumped off to one side to dodge him, she tripped on her long dress and fell onto her back, leaving herself trapped before the man. "A-and n-now… you die," the man said in a strange, sickening glee, so out of his mind that he likely didn't know what he was saying.
Then, the laughter increased in volume again, distracting the man and bringing his attention to the corpse of Alucard. He watched in horror as the body simply broke down into a shadowy, writhing mass which encircled him like black flames, locking him in place. A second later, the vampire reformed from his shadowy mass into his immaculately dressed form, picking the man up by the collar and hoisting his head far above his own.
"It's been awhile since a human managed to pump that much lead into me, and with total metal jackets no less," Alucard mused, reaching into the fold of his coat. "I must say, I admire your determination and valour." A second later, though, Alucard's normal insanely happy expression grew darker, angrier, and he growled out, "But for attacking the woman I love, I show you no mercy."
Pulling out his arm, the vampire drew out his massive, black, iron-coated gun, the Jackal, and pointed the end of the rectangular barrel straight at the man's face. "Now see, this is a gun. It's got 12 bullets in the magazine as well; but even one of these would turn your face into a well-done pasta sauce. So tell me, why should I let you live…?"
His words failing him, the man began to tremble in fear and started screaming incoherently, which only further aggravated his undead aggressor. "What… what the hell are you…?" he finally managed to ask Alucard, whose only response was to give the man a terrifying glare. "T-tell me! What in the hell… what the hell are you…?"
Chuckling darkly, Alucard opened his mouth wide, baring his fangs as he asked, "You don't know who I am?" All the man could do in reply was shake weakly, and so Alucard told him, "Then I will show you who I am…" Once again, the vampire's eyes flashed over into a red glow; and this time, the man's eyes glazed over as well, and his screams became even louder as visions of dead bodies, rivers of blood, impaled corpses, and a demonic-looking being with a mane of black hair and clad in plate armour appeared in his mind.
Dropping the drunkard to the floor, Alucard left the man to collapse into a heap and then curl up into the fetal position, the terrifying images still entering into his mind and slowly driving all sanity from him. Placing his massive gun back into his coat, he reached over and helped Integra to her feet as she asked, "You brought your weapon with you?"
"Party crashers are nothing new to this century, Integra," Alucard answered, his gun disappearing into the black mass underneath his smoking jacket. "In my era, an invasion at a banquet was usually an attempt on someone's life, and it paid to be prepared. Since I don't have my kilaj anymore, I decided my Jackal would suffice."
Nodding at his explanation, Integra then turned her attention to approaching footsteps from dress shoes. Both figures then turned to see Sir Islands walking towards them, his usual stern expression still plastered on his face. "You're a sucker for the theatrics even after all these years, Nosferatu," he commended, applauding the vampire mockingly. "I'm almost impressed by your little Romeo and Juliet act."
"The man had a gun, Islands," Alucard responded, spitting out one of the expended rounds and showing it from the palm of his hand. "Total metal jackets, the kind of bullet that leave flesh torn and arteries shredded. Now, I had two choices; I could let him shoot me up, and simply regenerate; or I could allow him to turn his gun on you and your party guests." Sneering mockingly, the vampire then added, "Remember, I can put my face back on. You can't, so party safe."
Watching Islands become irate and grumble at Alucard, Integra then added, "Alucard likely saved the lives of people at this party, Sir Islands. If he had not been here, then people would have been shot, and would likely have died. I believe you owe my servant here an apology." Crossing her arms, she watched Islands fume at her words for a second, before the realization that she was right set in and he begrudgingly extended his arm.
"It is true, Count Alucard," Islands then told the vampire, who looked back with a rather neutral expression. "I've been overly rude and hostile over an old argument that has nothing to do with this evening or your new master. Forgive me for my ignorance." Considering the words he was hearing for a second, Alucard eventually extended his own arm and grabbed Islands' hand, shaking it slowly.
"I accept your apology, and offer one of my own," Alucard stated, surprising even Sir Integra. "My own remarks to you have been out of line, and beyond the scope of what my master allows. You and I had our differences thirty years ago, but that's in the past. I do not wish to dredge up old wounds, so I'll just leave it at that."
"Very well," Islands told Alucard, releasing his grip and letting their arms fall slack. "Now that that's done with, there's just the issue of dealing with the intruder." Turning to face the man, Islands was shocked to discover that the quivering wreck he had just seen was now not moving or making any noise; he simply lay there. "What did you do?"
"Me? Nothing," Alucard responded. "He's passed out from the amount of alcohol he's consumed. By the time he wakes up, he'll have a massive hangover and will remember none of what transpired here. Even if he did, he stinks so badly of rum that no police officer would ever believe his story. My guess is that he should be taken to a hospital for observation."
"I'll look into that," Islands told Alucard, before stepping off towards the other party guests. Turning back to face Integra, though, Alucard discovered her to be gone as well; and with a quick glance around the room, he saw her to be back outside on the balcony, holding into the railing. Walking forwards, he exited the room and stepped up beside his master, looking at her with eyes of concern and sympathy, something most never saw of the Bloody Count.
"It's been a tough and trying night for you, my master," Alucard said, not waiting for Integra to explain herself. "You were apprehensive about simply being here; but between the emotions that have spiralled viciously here tonight, it must be very confusing and…" Alucard's words were cut off when Integra reached around and grabbed his face, bringing his lips to her own and leaning back against the railing.
After releasing Alucard from her grip, Integra looked up at him with an expression that she rarely showed; happiness. The vampire count himself recognized something different about this kiss as well; it was hungrier, more lustful. Turning around, the Hellsing Knight continued to stare up at the moon, while her servant leaned up against her and put his arm around her.
"It's been a very strange year for me indeed," Integra told her servant, her answer coming as no surprise to him. "Between the attacks on our organization, the inclusion of Seras and the Wild Geese into our group, and everything else that's happened… I don't know how to put it, but everything feels more…"
"…Like we've become a family," Alucard interpreted, ending her sentence for her. "I know how you feel about the Police Girl, about the mercenary… because that is who you are, Integra Hellsing. Behind the old, iron-willed façade, you truly care about the people in your life. That is why I am still with you after all these years. And that is why I love you…"
Integra could feel the emotion in Alucard's words, the sheer innate feelings that she normally did not hear from the man. She knew little of his past, but she knew that at some point he did have a wife, and that she had been taken from him. He had lost much more than she could ever imagine; but with her, it seemed, he had regained some of that loss.
Jarred from this though, her eyes were drawn to a strange, red pile of what appeared to be clothing over in the corner of the balcony. "Alucard… what are those?" she asked, pointing in the direction of the articles. He himself curious due to her, the vampire stepped over to the clothes in question, picking them up one by one and examining them.
"It appears to be… the Police Girl's hat," he noted aloud, picking up the hat and slinging it over his arm as he picked up the next article. "Oh… and her shirt…" While Integra was looking at the vampire, her face of surprise slowly grew, until Alucard's matched it with the words, "Oh… and something else I think she'd rather I not saw…" Holding up the garment in question to Integra, the woman simply looked back stunned, while Alucard placed the garment beneath the other two for some level of taste.
"I never thought this side of Seras even existed…" Integra observed in amazement, looking back at Alucard in between bouts of staring at the discarded clothing. The tone of her voice was completely stunned, her expression starting to turn red from the shock. "You'd think she would me classier than this… I mean, she could at least have taken her clothes with her, rather than risk being seen…"
"She and the Frenchman aren't like you and I," Alucard told her, not looking so much surprised as intrigued. "You see, they are a couple from the new generation. We're an old-fashioned couple, taking things slowly. Those two… are much more, physical, shall we say, than people like us are."
"This is all becoming a bit too much…" Integra finally decided aloud, leaning back against the railing of the balcony. "The arguments, the intruder, this… I'm growing rather tired, and I think it's best for all of us at this point that we go home. After that attack, the party will likely be over soon anyway…"
"I agree, my master," Alucard told her, stepping up to the woman and, with a motion that surprised her, picked up the Protestant Knight into his arms and jumped down from the second-story balcony to the grounds below. Landing on his feet, he immediately set Integra down, where she saw that their carriage was waiting. "You should step inside and get warm; I'll fetch the Police Girl and her escort."
"Just don't take too long," Integra instructed wearily, stepping towards the carriage doors and watching them open of their own volition. Once inside, she sat down and leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes before the door reclosed and the vampire turned, trying to hone in on the Draculina's location.
"Police Girl… Seras Victoria…" the vampire called out through his mind, sending his thoughts out like echolocation to find where they reciprocated from. "Where are you…? Sir Integra and I are looking for you…"
"M-master…" Seras' rushed voice suddenly returned to his mind, sounding both surprised and embarrassed. "N-now's not really a good time, you see… P-Pip and I are…"
"I guessed…" her master told her, sneering as his body broke down into black fog and proceeded to creep along the grounds into the shadows, following the path of the thoughts to an old, closed-down gardener's quarters or guest house. The owner had likely gone to be with their family, leaving it open and apparently unlocked. Rematerializing before the door, Alucard gave a light rap on the door before he heard a lot of whispering and the sound of light footsteps approaching.
Slowly, the door opened to reveal Seras standing there, her face flushed and sweaty, clad in her bra and her now-ruffled up skirt. "M-master…" the girl responded, slurring slightly and giving off the scent of intoxication. "H-how did you g-g-g… get here, so fast…?" she questioned, almost falling through the door before Alucard caught her, propping her up and letting her stand back up. "W-what do you w-want?"
"To return these to you," the vampire answered simply, producing Seras' clothes and handing them to her. The girl seemed rather taken aback by this gesture, and she stared up at her master while she looked through the things she left behind.
"Y… you didn't l-l-look at th-these, d-did you?" she questioned, grabbing her shirt out of the pile and pulling it on quickly. In the process, she knocked her other garments to the floor, and rushed to grabbed them up off the floor. "P-please tell m-me you didn't s-see a-a-anything…"
"No, but I'm seeing something right now," Alucard told his fledgling, pointing to the fact that she was squatting against the floor with her legs spread open. Immediately reaction, she closed her legs and fell over, seemingly too drunk to even hold up her own weight when moving. Over in the corner, Pip stood up from sitting on a bench, making his way slowly over to the now-unconscious girl.
"The Mignonette can't really 'old 'er liquor that well," he told Alucard, getting a subtle shake of the head in response. "Honestly, I didn't expect to see that from 'er; I mean, it's just so unreal…"
"Things around this time of year always are," Alucard instructed, before looking down at the girl. "Do you want me to carry her, or do you want to?"
"I'll do it, monsieur Alucard," Pip told the vampire, shaky but still able to hoist the girl up over his shoulder. Immediately after that, they stepped outside into the night air, walking back towards there the carriage was waiting. "Man, I 'ad twice what she 'ad and I'm barely even buzzed. Speaking of which… did you manage to get anything?"
Looking back as he walked, Alucard reached both hands into his coat and pulled out two bottles by the necks with each hand. In his left, two rather expensive liqueurs; and in the right, a pair of champagne rosés. Once Pip nodded, Alucard returned them to his pockets and said to the man, "Oh, and Frog… next time you and the Police Girl decide to get physical, please don't let her leave her underwear lying around where other people can find it…" Hearing this, Pip went wide-eyed, while Alucard simply looked back in reply with an amused smile.
"Oh, that uh…" The French mercenary started, trying to come up with a good answer without sounding too perverted. "Well, you see… She and I were a little busy and things got really hectic; and uh, you know, she 'ad a lot to drink and so… we kinda lost track of a lot of things."
"Like the time," Alucard pointed out. "It's almost midnight. Christmas Eve ends soon, and I doubt you want to spend Christmas morning in a gardener's quarters." Nodding his agreement, Pip turned back after speaking just in time to see the carriage approaching up ahead, stopping a few metres ahead of them and giving them a chance to walk right up to it.
Once they got close enough, the door of the vehicle swung open and revealed a weary-looking Integra, looking down at the three with a hint of curiosity on her face. "It's a story best saved for tomorrow morning," Alucard told his master, stopping and helping Pip to place the unconscious Police Girl into the seat opposite Sir Integra. Pip then got in and sat beside her, letting her form lean onto his shoulder when she fell over; and then Alucard climbed aboard as well, closing the door while he took his seat opposite the Mercenary.
"It's certainly been a night to remember," Integra noted, feeling the smooth motion of the horses as they started off in the direction of the Hellsing manor. Pip, tired from the day's activities, pulled his hat down over his face and fell soundly asleep beside his affectionate Police Girl, leaving Integra and Alucard the only ones awake of conscious inside the carriage. "To think, this could have happened so much sooner to me if I had gone a year earlier."
"I doubt that this course of actions would have been made possible any other year," Alucard told the woman, his voice slipping from his modern and rugged voice into another, more intriguing voice. This tone, much older, wiser and more calm and tranquil, with a knowledge beyond the appearance of the vampire; and, most noteworthy, a sophisticated-sounding Romanian accent. Shocked and aroused, Integra let the sound of the vampire's true voice replay again and again in her mind, letting the utter sexual appeal of the voice seep into the very fibre of her being.
"This is something I never thought I would live to experience," Integra noted, watching as Alucard's form became more hazy and distorted by the coursing of shadows around his form, pulsating rhythmically. "Those in my life who I am grateful for, and those that I love, all right here with me; my loneliness is something that I myself created, and across that I no longer have to bear."
Turning back to her dark prince, she noted that his appearance had changed due to his reformation. His hair, now longer and silkier, fell onto his lap and onto the seat from its length, his bangs now neatly arranged. On his face, a well-trimmed moustache covered his upper lip, adding to the distinguished character of his voice. "This is the life you were always meant to live," the Romanian-voiced vampire told his master, leaning over to her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "You and I… destiny bent itself to bring us together…"
Leaning in closely, Integra found herself half-falling asleep in the grasp of the Count, her head against his chest and her hair mixing smoothly into his. She could feel his heartbeat, his very essence, vibrating against her body; and she found herself, for the first time in as long as she could remember, lost in the embrace of the man she truly loved. "I've come home to you, Count…"
"And how I have missed you, Countess…"
By the time the morning had come to the Hellsing manor, Walter already found himself walking the halls of the building dressed in a red, white-lined vest with a matching hat, eager to begin the day with the residents of the building. The Wild Geese were, for the most part, gone, having returned to their families for the holidays; and since the four party-goers had gotten home last night, he had not heard a sound from any of them.
Not a sound, that is, until his rounds brought him past the entrance to Seras' chambers, through which his ears heard the feint sound of what he deduced to be… vomiting? Questioning what he was hearing, he reached smoothly for the door handle and turned it, entering slowly and quietly; and when he did, he cast a surprised glance on what he saw.
In the corner of the room, from the powder room whose door was currently open, Seras was on all fours, sprawled over the latrine with her head into the bowl, making noises he had never heard from a human before, let alone an undead. Opposite her, Pip crouched with his hand on her back, as though trying to comfort her; and the look on his face was one of shame and self-disappointment. "Miss Victoria, are you…?" Walter's question was cut short by another round of loud retching, which caused Walter to cringe and let out a surprised, "Oh my…"
"This is all my fault," Pip said, still dressed in his now wrinkled suit from the night before. "I should never 'ave let her 'ave this much to drink at the party last night…" Leaning over, he pulled the lever on the latrine and it flushed, followed by Seras leaning up from the bowl and turning around to collapse into Pip's open arms.
"This reminds me of the days when Arthur was in charge here," Walter reflected, stepping up to Seras and crouching down to give the girl a comforting hug. "This sort of thing was a regular occurrence back then, you know. That's why there are even loos down here, you know." Standing up, he helped Pip bring Seras out and into another section of the room, where they placed her on a couch to rest.
"I should be off to bring Sir Integra her morning tea now," Walter told Pip, speaking with the air of concern one doesn't normally hear on Christmas. "I'm actually surprised she isn't up by now; but once I give her that, I will be back with something for Miss Victoria's hangover. Then hopefully we can exchange gifts." With a pleased nod from both Pip and Seras, Walter bowed and then turned to leave, letting the two lovers stay to be with each other.
*+~Meanwhile~+*
As the light of the morning sun finally broke through the drawn curtains of Sir Integra's room, Alucard stirred, awakened by the sudden change of lighting in the room. Looking over to his left, the head of Integra was resting on his chest, her angelic face peacefully resting upon his chiselled form.
Slowly, the vampire allowed his body to break down into his shadowy form, creeping off the bed and pooling onto the floor as a mass of moving shadows. From this, his normal form less his hat and sunglasses slowly reformed; and he turned back to the sleeping Integra, who had not stirred at all from his motion.
After last night it came as no surprise to him that she would sleep through his leaving. She had been tired, tranquilized by the alcohol she had drank, and the worn out by the… intimate experiences they had shared. "After so long of love-making when I was human, I would have been tired as well." Noting the way she slept, he moved one of his hands to pull the blanket up father over her chest, covering over the bare skin that had been exposed by his leaving the bed.
Then, unanticipated, a knock occurred at the door, one which got Alucard's attention and slowly stirred Integra from her sleep. "Sir Integra, I've come with your morning tea," Walter's voice issued through the door, decent enough not to enter without being permitted in. "I figured since you didn't come downstairs that I should bring the tea straight to you."
Though her face was completely shocked by this revelation, Integra managed to say in a calm and collected voice, "Yes, thank you Walter. I'll just be a minute." Pulling the covers back on her bed, she motioned for Alucard to grab her something to put on over her naked form; and swooping over to her wardrobe, be acknowledged by extracting from the furniture piece a red silk and lace bra, a matching pair of panties, and her preferred red nightgown.
'Hurry,' Integra then mouthed impatiently, to which Alucard responded by tossing her the articles in question. She quickly pulled the panties on, making sure of all things that her nether regions were covered; then she threw the bra on and clasped it together quickly, covering her nipples from view. Finally, she pulled the nightgown on in a rush and stood up before saying, "Enter."
Once she had said this word, Walter opened the door and stepped in with the silver tea tray, teapot and teacup in place; and with a surprised expression, he brought the tray over and sat it on the bed. "Please excuse me, Sir Alucard, for not bringing you anything; but I had not known you were here."
"It's perfectly alright Walter," the vampire answered. "I'm just returning to my chambers right now, you see, so I can…"
"I'm afraid I can't have you leave right now," Integra told Alucard in a serious tone, before turning back to Walter. "You can have some blood brought to the main area for the gift opening." Bowing in response to the command, Walter then turned and left with the tea still in place, closing the door behind him so that Integra could have whatever words with Alucard she wanted.
"I'm still not done with you from last night," the woman then told her servant slyly, reaching in under her nightgown as she said these words. With a tug at the ribbons on either side of the garment, they came loose and fell to the floor at her feet; to which Alucard responded with his trademark Cheshire cat grin, eager for what was in store.
"A Colt Peacemaker?" Pip questioned with wide-eyed glee, opening the gift before him and looking at the classic firearm before him. "Where did you manage to find something like this?" Turning to Seras, who had given him the gift, the Mercenary – now clad in more comfortable clothes, along with all save for Alucard – seemed completely stunned that she could have found such a thing.
"My father was a vintage arms collector," Seras explained, picking up the old-fashioned revolver from Pip's hands and looking over it. "This was one of his favourite pieces. I never got to use them when he was alive, though; but I did inherit them, and my foster father trained me to shoot properly using that thing. That was years ago, though," she added, handing back the weapon, "and it had a bit of a jamming issue so I don't know if it still fires."
"Moi? Fire an antique like this?" Pip questioned, laying the gun back in its case as though it were made of incredibly brittle glass. "Especially when it's a gift from mon Mignonette." Smiling to Seras, the girl reciprocated and came forwards, embracing the Mercenary in an affectionate hug that brought similar smiles to the faces of the others."
"Alright Walter," Alucard suddenly stated, uncrossing his arms so he could reach in with his right hand and pull a wrapped object the size of a microwave out of his coat, handing it to Walter. The butler then reached to grab it with one hand, but Alucard wagged his finger and said, "No, no; it's far too heavy for one hand." Intrigued, Walter held out both hands to take the object, while Alucard placed it gingerly into his grasp.
"My my," Walter grunted, getting down on his shins to set down the gift so he could open it. "This is certainly a large package." Standing back up, Walter gave a flick of his wrist and the paper suddenly shredded into a rain of confetti, the edges of his wires gleaming in the sun. Underneath all of this, a mahogany wooden case was visible, with a silver-engraved 'WCD' on the lid.
Bending down again, the retainer then grabbed the lid and opened it up slowly, becoming rather amazed when he saw the contents. Inside the box, three objects suspended in individual wrappings. First, a platinum-rimmed monocle with a rather ornate design and a polarized glass lens, something he had been meaning to replace his old one with. Unhooking the chain from his ear, he reached in with the delicate precision of a surgeon and grabbed the item, putting it on and getting an approving nod from the rest.
The second item was inside a wrapped package covered in tape. With another flick of his wires, he opened it to reveal a brand new uniform, which he examined and found to be most comfortable and completely pristine. Third, and final, was a collapsible mahogany walking cane with a crystal orb at the end, which he then held up and put against the floor, finding it perfectly matched to his height. "Thank you so very much, Alucard."
"Don't think I've forgotten about any of you," Alucard noted, three extra arms sprouting from his back each with a gift in one of their hands. Moving the appendages around, he passed a gift each to Integral, Seras and Pip, who grabbed them quickly before Alucard's arms simply dissolved into nothingness.
Tearing the paper open with their nails, Integra and Seras got their gifts open first. From Integra's, she found both a brand new leisure suit – done up in a delicious scarlet, no doubt to match Alucard's coat – and a new lavender bath robe as well, to replace the one she was gradually wearing through. In Seras' gift, she found a new iPhone, as well as a blue version of her Hellsing uniform complete with black stockings and white gloves.
"They're perfect, Alucard," Integra told to her servant, with Seras simultaneously saying the same thing save for substituting the word 'Alucard' for 'Master'. Alucard then smiled, bearing his fangs as he watched the mercenary open up his gift as well. The man went wide-eyed when he saw what was in his hand, looking at Alucard as though he had liberated Tibet.
"Sacré bleu! A Thompson SMG?" he questioned, hoisting the weapon and looking at it thoroughly. Walter and Integra immediately recognized the weapon in question, while Seras and Pip simply looked at it in shock. In the box there was also a single 100-count ammunition drum, which Seras grabbed and locked in place immediately.
"It has some slight battle wear, but to my knowledge it's otherwise in perfect working order," the vampire noted, watching Pip again place the weapon back in its case gingerly. "I hope you all have enjoyed your gifts." Crossing his arms behind his back, the vampire watched everyone give him a look of complete sheer, before Walter stepped off to the other side of the tree.
"Now Alucard, I'm sorry to tell you this," Integra told her servant, seemingly slightly sombre, "but between us we collectively only got you one gift." The vampire's face was somewhat disappointed by this statement, but it livened up again when she said, "Though that was due to the sheer price and such of it. I think you will enjoy it."
"Oh, bollocks, this is…" Walter groaned, straining to lift whatever the object was. "I'm not as strong as I used to be, I guess. Mister Bernadotte, would you be so kind as to assist me with this thing."Getting up from his spot, Pip stepped around to the other side of the tree and grabbed one end of the object, Walter grabbing the other; and together the two hoisted it and brought it around, where Alucard laid it against one arm.
"My, this is heavy," Alucard noted, tearing through the paper and finding a steel case underneath. Discarding the wrappings, he clicked the latches on it and opened the lid; and when he did so, his eyes went wider than anybody else's had that day.
"It should be heavy," Integra noted. "It's made of solid wrought iron, you know," Lifting the object up from the case, Alucard saw before him a handgun more massive than anything he had ever seen before. Placing the case gently at his feet, he hoisted the weapon, which was the size of a small rifle.
"The .700 Anti-Freak Siege Pistol, which for now we simply call the Jackal Mark Two," Walter stated, referencing the similar inscription on the side to his old black weapon. "60cm barrel with a total length of 75cm, and an unheard-of loaded weight of 31kg. Right-side case ejector, to allow for use with your original Jackal."
"I 'elped choose a good calibre for somebody with your strength," Pip noted, grabbing the magazine and handing it up to Alucard. "I found these on one mission in Liverpool; .700 Nitro Express, the largest bullet they make. No other 'andgun chambers these; in fact, we 'ad to design modified ones just so they could fit into a magazine somebody could grip."
"The bullets themselves are massive armour-piercers," Seras noted, pulling out from her pocket a single modified round. The bullet was the thickness of her thumb, and the length of her middle finger with its case. "Normally used for hunting game, they're powered not by gunpowder, but Nitrocellulose, a mixture of gunpowder and nitro-glycerine, for the added punch."
"And, of course," Integra closed, stepping up and looking over the weapon herself, "the weapon is far beyond the means of a normal human to wield with two hands, let alone one. If this doesn't do in the Priest Anderson, nothing will." Everybody in the room the instantly began to laugh at the comment she had made, while Alucard placed the 12-shot magazine into his new weapon and lock it in place.
"I could not envision a more perfect gift, all of you," the vampire told them, smiling more strongly than they thought possible. Integra then immediately leaned over and wrapped her arms around her vampire servant's neck, drawing him into a strong and passionate kiss that put a totally stunned expression on the faces of everyone else in the room.
When Integra released Alucard from her grip, she turned to see the expressions of everybody else present, looking at her incredulously. "Well, 'tis the season," she told them simply, putting a smile onto everyone's face.
End…
*Everyone singing*
Walter: …Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!
Pip: Merry Hellsing he yelled…
Seras: …As he ran out of sight.
Integra: Merry Hellsing to all…
Alucard: …And to all, a good bite!
All: Merry Christmas from Hellsing, Genma no Ou and .