A/N

Soooooo….I haven't written in over three months. I know this is a crappy excuse, but I've been really busy. I had Regents exams, homework, graduation stuff, and performing at my Drama play. I hadn't planned on finishing this story, but xaprilshwrs96, being the amazing person she is, convinced me to write again. I'm glad I'm back J Enjoy!

Chapter 8

BPOV

As I stood there in Edward's room, I realized what a mistake this was. I was not the guilty person here. I did not have to feel guilty for anything. I did not come here for him to welcome me back with open arms.

"So are you ever going to tell me why you left?" I asked. I took a few steps back from him.

"Bella. It was such a mistake. I shouldn't have ever left you." He said apologetically.

"That doesn't answer my question." I crossed my arms. I was really starting to get mad. Why had I just kissed him?

"Bella. I love you. I have always loved you." Edward told me looking me directly in the eyes.

And that's when I snapped. I broke our gaze and ran out of his room. I ran straight down the stairs, past the shocked looks of everyone in the living room, out the front door, and down the porch steps. I was stunned that I didn't fall flat out my face. I jumped into the truck and sped out of there. Once I was safely away from vampire hearing range, I pulled over. Edward said he loves me. Still. But then why had he left me? It never made sense that someone as amazing as Edward would want to be with someone as boring and plain as me. Wasn't that why he left? I should have given him more time to explain to me what was going on. Well too late now.

Once I got myself together again, I was able to drive home. I really should have given Edward what I went to his house for – the truth.

I made one of those impulse decisions that you look back on and regret. I picked up the phone and dialed Edward's cell phone number, which I still remembered, embarrassingly enough.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Edward. It's Bella."

"Hello," he replied back. He didn't know what to say either.

"I want to apologize for how I acted earlier. I was a total bitch."

He laughed. "I wouldn't go that far."

"Well, I would. I also really need to talk to you. Can you come over?" I asked him.

"Of course. When?"

"Um…would now be okay?"

EPOV

"Um..would now be okay?'' she asked.

"Now would be excellent," I replied, trying not to sound too eager. We hung up.

I heard Alice come into my room, as I was getting my jacket on.

"Yes?" I asked her, not bothering to turn around.

"You're not going to be happy about this." Alice's normal chirpy tone was replaced by an annoyed one. I didn't really pay much attention to the vision swirling around in her head.

"Unless it is life threatening, I do not care. I have to go, if you'll excuse me." I said. She moved to the side of the doorway and let me out.

"It might be life threatening to you," was what her mumble sounded like. But by that point, I was already out the door, and on my way to Bella's house.

BPOV

I had no idea how to break up with Edward. Well, technically, it wasn't "breaking up" because we weren't even going out….anymore. But I needed to end whatever was going on. I was still with Jacob, even if Jacob wasn't with me. Speaking of which, the situation with Jacob was still a total mess. He would never answer my phone calls, wouldn't even call me back. Billy wouldn't even let me in the house when I went over yesterday. The thing that hurt most of all was that Jacob really thought that I had planned this all out to hurt him. That really showed how well Jake knew me.

But eventually, I figured how to deal with Edward. I would be as nice as I could, and hope he'd understand. Being as nervous as I was, I doubted if I was actually going to be able to speak.

I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. I sat down at the kitchen table and traced the rim of my glass with my pinky.

The doorbell rang. Internally freaking out, I got up and went to go let Edward in. But when I got to the door, it wasn't Edward. It was Jacob!

I let him in and neither of us spoke for a few minutes. I decided to break the silence.

"Jake, you can't be here right now."

He laughed without humor. "I come over here, wanting to talk to you, and you kick me out! I feel the love, Bella."

"No, I mean it. You really can't be here. I have people coming over soon." I told him.

"Ahh. You mean people as in good ol' Cullen boy himself."

"No, I mean, well yes. But…" I trailed off, not really wanting to explain this mess to Jacob.

"I knew it." He muttered.

"Jake, this truly isn't what it seems. Edward is coming over because I called and invited him. And you want to know why I invited him? I wanted him to come over here, so I could tell him that I was dating you! So I could tell him that I couldn't be with him anymore!" I exploded, yelling at Jacob.

He looked dumbfounded. And shocked. And happy. And sorry.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I just assumed-"

I cut him off. "Yeah, you obviously assumed took much, didn't you?" I tried so hard not to let him hear the hurt in my voice. At this point, I was practically in tears. I was beyond furious.

And to top off this wonderful day, I noticed someone had come in. Edward. Oh no. Kill. Me. Now.

I turned to face him, but he ignored me. His gaze was solely focused on Jacob. Edward looked a billion times angrier than I had felt a minute ago, when I was fighting with Jacob.

This was so awkward. Jake and Edward were staring at each other. If looks could kill, they both would be lying motionless on the ground, dead. Neither of them said anything. Jacob stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Edward turned, watching him leave, and looking as if he wanted to leave himself. He slowly turned back to face me. The look on his face was a mix of hurt and sadness and every other emotion that could have been experienced when you'd overheard your ex-girlfriend saying she was going to break up with you…again. So, he'd obviously heard my fight with Jacob.

"You're dating the…..dog?"

"Edward, please let me explain."

"Bella, you don't have to explain anything to me anymore." He said in his velvety voice. He sounded so upset, it was heartbreaking. "I left you, I wanted you to move on, and you have. You have nothing to apologize for."

I had no response for that.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, trying to figure out what to do. Break up with him? Kiss him? Tell him everything is okay? Ugh, this was all such a confusing mess. I opened my eyes back up and looked at Edward.

"I'm going to try to say this as honestly as I can, and I'm not going to guarantee that it isn't going to hurt. But you left me. And that's that. I felt as if my life was over and there was nothing left to live for. But then Jake came into my life, and made me happy again. I felt alive. Jake, Charlie, and Renee were my only reasons to get up in the morning, the only things worth living for." I remained strong, looking at Edward's face throughout my entire monologue, and watched his facial expressions. Frustratingly enough, he kept his face rather neutral. "Edward, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me who you love more. Who you want to be with."

I laughed. "I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. Please, for me." He looked down at me, with such a pained expression that it literally shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him and that everything was going to be okay. Those exact words were about to spill out of my mouth, when I thought of Jacob, especially his face when he left here today. That would not be fair to him at all. I loved Jacob so much, he had been there for me through everything I'd gone through in the past few months.

"I want to do this right. I'm not going to commit to anything or anyone for a while." I told him, keeping my voice as steady as possible. "I'm going to tell the same to Jacob as well."

"That's very…reasonable, Bella. I can appreciate that response. I'll see you later." He said to me, trying to fake a smile. I remembered his real smile from so long ago and it sure wasn't this.

"Yeah, Edward. See you later." I mumbled back in response. He turned away from me and walked down the hallway, leaving through the front door.

Yet again, my life had become a jumbled mess.