SO NEAR, SO FAR.

Sheppard knew he couldn't stay on his feet much longer. The sun was climbing higher in the sky, and the temperature was headed in the same direction. He was extremely lightheaded, and the pain was shorting out his thinking processes, especially when his thigh muscle contracted around the spike and made the ends of shattered bone move around, push into nerve endings. He was nauseous and sweat was running freely down his back and his legs, so heat fatigue would soon be a problem. When he did finally keel over, it wasn't going to be pretty. With his knee immobilized and the bone broken above it, falling down would most likely compound the fracture. The broken bone would be forced out through the surrounding flesh, and the bleeding would begin in earnest.

When the jumper finally arrived, it wouldn't be a rescue, it would be body recovery duty. On the plus side, Atlantis would be closing the gate down very soon, so he wouldn't have to die via live transmission. Although the thought of watching a dark and useless gate in front of him for any length of time was going to be a hard pill to swallow. If he could only take a few steps he'd be home.

There was another alternative. The thought had been growing in his mind for the last few minutes.

Sheppard cleared his throat. "Beckett?"

The doctor answered straight away. "Yes, John?"

"I need to talk to you privately."

It wasn't long before Beckett responded again, "Go ahead, John. It's just you and me on the line."

"Doc, you and I both know I'm not going to be alive by the time that jumper gets here. So …" Sheppard paused, swallowed. Saying what he planned to do brought the idea one step closer to reality. His head spun and he tried to breath deeper.

Beckett's voice cut through the fog. "John?"

Forced himself to focus, Sheppard continued, "So, I intend to amputate. I want you to tell me how to do it, and what to expect."

There was a period of silence, then, "John, do you understand what you're saying, son?"

Tears sprung in Sheppard's eyes as his mangled thigh muscle coiled and released, and he was surprised to hear himself laughing. There was a certain level of crazy in there, so he fought to get his voice leveled out as he spoke again.

"I've got no water and another seven hours of sunlight. I'm on the verge of blacking out and when I do, my leg will snap in two. There's animal life back there in the jungle …"

"Okay, okay," Beckett soothed. "Save your strength, John. I'll talk you through the procedure. You'll have to use your belt as a tourniquet. What size knife do you have?"

"It'll do the job."

Using his left hand, John undid his buckle and began to shakily slide the belt through the loops of his waistband. For the moment he kept his right hand firmly planted against the gate. He'd be using it soon enough to do the cutting, and he could only hope that his left leg would hold him up long enough to get the job done.

He was distracted by the MALP as it began reversing away from him. Before he had a chance to open his mouth, Beckett informed, "Rodney says to give him a minute."

John wondered how Rodney knew what he was about to do. Then he realised he would've been listening to Beckett's side of the conversation. "Put me back on speaker, Carson." John paused for a few seconds, then said, "McKay?"

"You cannot be serious." Rodney sounded more than a little outraged.

"I'm out of options, Rodney." John watched the MALP as it moved slowly across the platform. The camera was pointed low at the base of the row of spikes as it went. "What are you doing?"

The machine stopped at the far side of the gate. Rodney answered, "Giving you a choice. You carrying any C4?"

"You know I am. But I'd rather cut my leg off than blow it off."

"Funny," Rodney said flatly. "There's about a five centimeter gap here where the last upright rises out of the platform. I'm thinking that's where the power source is located. A small blast down there might be enough to retract the device into its casing."

Sheppard couldn't see how that was going to help him. "Yeah, but I'm way over here, Rodney."

A four pronged claw extended from the front of the MALP and bent back over the top of the machine. It seemed to be waving at Sheppard.

"And people dared to question me when I modified all the MALP's. Eighteen minutes left on the clock. Your call, Sheppard."

John didn't need any thinking time. He snapped open the pocket on the side of his vest and removed the small block of explosive from inside. "We'll need about eight ounces."

The MALP sped over and stopped by Sheppard's back leg. He drew a deep breath and removed his right hand from the gate. His leg moved fractionally as his body adjusted to the new position, and the pain skyrocketed. Loud buzzing filled his ears and his vision blurred.

"Sheppard. Sheppard!"

John spat against a rising wave of nausea. "Still here." He broke the block of C4 in two, passed half down to the waiting claw and returned the other half to his pocket. He carefully leaned his weight against the gate again, breathing hard. The machine sped off and Sheppard watched Rodney expertly maneuver the flexible extension through the small space to tightly pack down the plastic explosive. Once that was completed, the MALP reversed back over to him. It reminded Sheppard of a dog fetching a stick. He stared at Rover for a second or two before Rodney said, none too patiently, "Sheppard, I need you to concentrate. Throw the rest of the C4 through the gate, and give me a blast cap."

Sheppard fumbled his left hand into the opposite pocket and produced the cap. Once he'd passed it down, he pulled out the unused explosive and flung it through the wormhole. He then reached back in his pocket and brought out the electronic detonator.

Rodney said, "I'd tell you to take cover, but…"

Sheppard thought McKay's voice sounded fairly composed, given the circumstances. "It's cool, Rodney. Thanks."

The MALP moved even further away this time, backing right off the platform. When Rodney had it positioned at a relatively safe distance, he said, "Thank me when you're back on this side and in one piece."

Sheppard heard Elizabeth say, "We're ready when you are, John. Good luck."

John bent forward as far he could manage, put both arms over his head and called out, "Clear!"

He closed his eyes and pushed the button.

And screamed as he was blown upwards and off the spike. Everything turned white and strangely silent. He was aware of moving quickly up through the air before he came down again, his head and shoulder slamming hard into the ground. His body tumbled and his broken leg collided into something. The world blinked out.