For I Am Captured Straight to You
PART FOUR
So…it turned out that werewolves were real.
Highly misunderstood creatures it seemed, too. Like that whole changing during a full moon bit. Completely inaccurate. The change itself didn't happen anything like they showed in cartoons or in movies. A werewolf did not stand on two legs and have a furry, bulging eight pack. Werewolves were exactly what they sounded like: 'wolves' that 'were' huge. About the size of a horse actually. Also, no silver allergens. Although chances of a silver bullet doing one in were pretty good because, you know, it was a fucking bullet.
But there was no need to panic because werewolves didn't need to be killed. They weren't the out of control monsters
And how did Jacob come to know so much about these pseudo-mythological creatures? Because he was one.
Him. Jacob Black. A werewolf.
That night in the kitchen had been the first time he'd changed—or 'phased' as Sam called it. Nearly took Billy's face off in the process. Jacob had been terrified, naturally, having grown a tail, snout, and fur in the space of half a second. But Billy had been relatively calm given the circumstances. He'd herded Jacob—howling and whining—out the door (a tight fit) and into the woods, where Sam had been waiting for him…as a giant black wolf. (Jacob found out later that the reason Billy hadn't freaked out when his son turned into a crazed dog right before his eyes was because his dad had fucking known. He'd known what Jacob would eventually become and hadn't said a damn word in warning.)
It had taken Sam a good thirty minutes to talk Jacob down to the point where he could actually process what he was being told and realize that it wasn't some nightmare he'd eventually wake up from. And then Sam had explained everything.
That was probably the part about being a wolf that took the most getting used to. Each person in the pack could hear the thoughts of another member so long as they were both phased. And it couldn't be turned off. So if everyone was phased at once, Jacob had the thoughts of four other guys bouncing around his head non-stop. All their thoughts.
Sam had talked to Jacob one-on-one for three hours that first night. He'd been patient but firm, fielding questions and laying down some rules. Sam was the alpha, and Jared, Paul, Embry and Jacob were his pack and had to follow his orders, which mostly centered around keeping the whole werewolf thing secret from everybody but the Quileute elders.
That was another thing. Sam wasn't nearly bad as Jacob had thought. Sure he could be a self-important ass, but a lot of the things he did were either beyond his control or were for the good of the pack and the Reservation. Like the alpha command he'd given that no pack member could tell someone about the existence of werewolves. Direct alpha commands were law and physically couldn't be disobeyed.
It was why Embry had had to break up with Bella.
Bella.
Jacob was pulled from own thoughts by the sound of her name echoing in Embry's familiar mental voice. The single name triggered an onslaught of mental images that didn't belong to Jacob. Embry, who was keeping pace with Jacob as they made a circuit, had been quiet and introspective the entire run, but now his mind was overcome with powerful, visual memories.
Bella chewing on the erase of her pencil.
Bella falling asleep against Embry's shoulder.
Bella trying to play Super Smash Bros. for the first time.
Bella reading her worn copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Bella gasping and trembling beneath Embry's body.
Bella looking betrayed in the rain.
I haven't touched her or talked to her in over three weeks, Embry thought bitterly.
Jacob hadn't seen her in nearly two. I know, man.
Maybe once things settle down and Sam thinks I have perfect control over my phase we can be together again, you know? I'd have to come up with a reason for why I broke up with her in the first place and why I won't be able to spend as much time with her as I did before. I'll have to beg a lot, too. She probably hates me.
Bella doesn't hate anyone.
They leapt over a wide creek bed in unison without breaking stride or slowing down. For all the shit that came with being a werewolf, the actual being a wolf part was pretty sweet. The strength, speed, endurance and heightened senses had been overwhelming at first, but now that he'd become comfortable in his own skin and could exploit these changes…the power was incredible.
But after what I said…
She was pretty upset, Jacob granted. But she wasn't mad at you. She was more…ashamed. Like it was her fault you didn't want her.
Her fault? That's ridiculous! I'm the heartless asshole who dumped her four days after we slept together for the first time.
That's what I told her.
But there wasn't any use placing blame now. The fact was that Bella had been kicked out of both of their lives, and there was little either of them could do about it except miss her, which Embry did. Constantly. His thoughts almost invariably orbited around Bella whenever he was phased. Sometimes he'd wonder what she was doing, he thought about questions he wanted to ask her about school, he worried about her happiness, he worried she was moving on without him, he recalled specific memories and more general ones, and he imagined what they would be doing if he'd never started phasing in the first place.
And sometimes Embry's mind drifted to sex. With Bella. It was pretty incredible how he could recall specific details and sensations, almost as if he were reliving it. Of course, whatever Embry remembered, Jacob saw just as clearly.
He caught glimpses of Bella's small round breasts, pale as the rest of her body and topped with rosy nipples that hardened under Embry's fingers, Bella's naked thighs clamped around Embry's wrist while his hand worked against and insider of her, and the top of Bella's head, long hair splayed messily across Embry's chest as she dropped kisses down the length of his abdomen.
If Jacob had felt like a voyeur to Embry and Bella's relationship before, he was a full-fledged Peeping Tom now. Against his will, sure, but he still saw it and still felt like he got something out of it. He didn't try tuning it out the way he did when Sam, Jared, and Paul subconsciously allowed their minds to wander to their own…experiences. Jacob almost welcomed getting a taste of what real intimacy with Bella would be like, all the while doing his best not to put a name to the acidic emotion that turned his stomach at seeing Embry's hands on her, making her cry out in pleasure.
Jacob kept his own memories of Bella soft and moaning beneath his hands tightly bottled up inside where even he couldn't reach them without concentrating.
I just worry about her spending so much time in town now. Those vampires are out there. And if they break the treaty…Jake, if one of them hurts her…
Jacob paused in his concentrated effort to keep up a mental mantra of Breaking Benjamin lyrics (it was not singing) to respond to Embry's concern. They won't. They're posing as high school kids, remember? Bella doesn't have a reason to go anywhere near the school. And it's not like she's gonna run into one shopping for produce at the grocery store. Besides, Bella's too scrawny to seem appetizing.
But her size was one of the things that originally attracted me to her.
Because it made her cute and huggable, not because it made you want to suck her dry.
Oh, yeah. Vampires were real, too. And they were the monsters fiction made them out to be. With a few modifications to make them sparkle. It was the pack's job to make sure any vamps that wandered into the area were crushed into Pop Rocks before being responsibly disposed of via fire. Well, any vamps except the Cullens, a coven of vampires who'd made a treaty with Jacob's grandfather, the alpha of the previous wolf pack. The Cullens apparently didn't eat people because killing made them feel bad and immoral (Paul called them wankpires). So they tried to avoid committing murder because no one liked being a sad panda.
And until one of them harmed a human or crossed onto La Push land, the pack had to let them go on living side-by-side defenseless people. Like Bella.
Is she still coming by your house? Embry asked hopefully. The only time he got to see Bella was when she came to bang on the Blacks' door and demand that Billy tell her why Jacob was being such a douche—his term, not hers. Embry would follow her from the trees the moment she entered La Push to the moment she left. She'd stopped by three days in a row after Jacob had rather rudely dismissed her in a brief phone conversation that marked the climax of a week-long avoidance. She'd accused him of lying about being sick (and, of course, she'd been right) and he'd retaliated by claiming she'd been clingy and overbearing ever since the breakup.
Jacob had spent the rest of the night feeling like the biggest dick on four legs.
She hasn't been by in a couple days. Maybe she gave up, Jacob offered, even though he didn't believe if for a second.
Neither did Embry. No way. Bella's the most tenacious person I know. She's probably just changing tactics.
Jacob guffawed. Did you just say the word 'tenacious?' Who thinks that way?
Well, excuse me for passing my eighth grade vocabulary tests. Not all of us thought it was cool to try to get exactly a 78% on every single one of them like it was a freakin' game of Yahtzee.
I bet you kept all the shiny smiley face stickers, didn't you?
Embry snapped at his front legs.
An hour later they were standing in the woods outside Jacob's house, pulling on the cutoff shorts every pack member kept tied to his ankle while they were phased. In the past two weeks Jacob had managed to destroy one pair of shoes, two t-shirts, and three pairs of pants from accidental phasing. Sam had assured him that control would come with time and focus, but if Jacob was pretty sure that if he ruined another pair of shorts, Billy would cut off his legs just so that he wouldn't have to buy him more.
"Man, I'm starving." Embry rubbed at his stomach.
Jacob's growled its agreement. "We've got some of Harry's fish fry in the fridge. I'll heat some up, and you can sit on the floor and eat whatever falls off my plate."
Embry's fist connected with Jacob's arm, but Jacob didn't flinch like he used to. He hardly even registered the hit. Higher werewolf-y threshold of pain and all that.
The two stepped out from the trees into Jacob's side yard and started heading for the house, when the sound of a familiar rumbling engine sounded from a short distance down the road. Embry and Jacob stopped walking, shared a look that clearly said 'oh shit, it's Bella,' and then proceeded to stand stock still.
"We should probably…"
"Probably."
They stared at the bend in the road Bella was seconds away from rounding.
"I mean, it's for the best."
"Yeah."
Neither moved. Both kept their eyes on the road.
Well, the hell if Jacob was going to leave before Embry. He hadn't seen her in two damn weeks!
"She'll wanna talk to us. Ask us questions," Jacob mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.
"I told you. Fucking tenacious."
The cab appeared followed by the rust-stained bed. As she turned toward them, Jacob could make out Bella's form through the windshield, which was splattered with bugs due to the lack of rain the past couple of days. She didn't notice Jacob and Embry frozen in the grass just off to the side of the house—they weren't exactly waving her down or anything—and pulled right up into driveway.
She cut the engine and, after pushing open the heavy, groaning door, did her little half-hop/half-step thing to the ground. (Jacob only stared at her jean-clad legs for three seconds…well, six seconds all together.) When she closed the truck door, her eyes naturally swung past where the boys stood unmoving in the grass. It would have been impossible to miss two large, half-naked men staring dumbly at her as if she were the second coming of Christ.
Bella stopped mid-stride and looked in their direction as if a sudden movement had drawn her attention. Then she blinked twice, pursed her lips, and proceeded to walk into the house.
Still holding their breaths, Embry and Jacob watched her go in confusion.
"Are we…invisible?"
"The fuck should I know? You've been turning into a giant dog twice as long as I have."
"I think I would remember Sam saying something about selective invisibility."
"Yeah, I bet it would have been right up there with the nut chaffage that comes with going commando 24 hours a day."
"Oh, I don't know. I find it kind of liberating."
"Shhh!" Jacob hushed him and tuned into the sound of Bella and Billy's voices carrying from inside.
"Hey there, Bella."
"Hi, Billy."
"Charlie said he was sending you over to borrow the power drill. His old hunk of junk finally gave out on him, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's right there on the coffee table."
The living room floorboards creaked under the movement Bella's weight.
Billy let out a low whistle. "Looks like you're going to have quite a scar there, missy."
"Scar!" Embry exclaimed. "What happened?" He turned frantically to Jacob. "Did you know she'd gotten hurt?"
Jacob waved him into silence.
"Just got the stitches taken out before coming over," Bella said while walking back towards the front door. "Dr. Cullen suggested I get some sort of lotion to help reduce the scarring. Might be a good idea. Take care, Billy."
"Goodbye, Bella."
The front door opened, and Bella walked straight off the porch toward the truck, not glancing once in the boys' direction. She placed the drill in the truck bed, and then all Jacob could see was Embry's back.
"Embry," Jacob hissed after him, "don't!"
But he just picked up his pace and started jogging over to where Bella was pulling open the driver-side door with determined nonchalance. She even ignored Embry when he called her name. Not that that dissuaded him any.
Cursing, Jacob moved to follow after Embry, already able to tell that this was going to blow up in his best friend's face. There was nothing he could say to her, nothing he could promise her in the next five minutes that could fix the last month.
Embry got to the truck just after Bella had climbed inside, and he managed to wedge himself between the car frame and the door so that she couldn't close it.
"What do you want, Embry?" she asked testily, not looking at him.
"I heard that you'd been hurt and I…"
As he approached the pair, Jacob noticed Embry's shoulders tensing. His back snapped straight and rigid.
"And you what?" Bella demanded. Now that he had a clear view of her face, Jacob noticed the dark smears under her eyes and the angry puckering of her brow. This was not Bella's traditional 'cute' angry. This was exhausted angry. Hurt angry. Betrayed angry.
And they had made her feel this way.
Asshole fucking dicks.
"Hey!" Bella yelped. "What are you—"
"How did this happen?"
Jacob peered over Embry's shoulder. He had grabbed Bella's hand and flipped it over, exposing the soft underside of her forearm. The pale skin was marred with a recently scabbed wound, still angry and red from the stitches. The narrow laceration began just below her wrist and ran a three inch slant toward her elbow.
"Tell me how this happened, Bella!" Embry shouted, causing Bella to jump.
"Holy crow, it was just an accident!"
"No one did this to you?" he demanded, still clutching her arm.
At first Jacob didn't understand what Embry was so worked up about. It probably looked a lot worse than it actually was, and it didn't seem like she was in any real physical pain (except that he was probably cutting off the circulation to her fingers holding her wrist like that). But then Jacob caught the scent of something sickly sweet that burned the inside of his nose, a stench that rose directly off of Bella's skin and clothes.
A memory—one that belonged to Sam—leapt into his consciousness.
A suffocating sweet scent leading him through the woods. Racing forward, forward, forward. The scents growing stronger. Four legs pumping faster. Not much farther now.
There!
Between two trees. A vampire, all pale hair and pale skin—monster—clutching a woman in his arms. Blood drenches the air. Messy fucker. The woman, limp, lifeless, falling to the ground as jaws close around stone. Shatter.
Vampire fighting back. Grasping arms and scathing snarls. Should have run when you had the chance, messy fucker. More shattering pieces. Ground littered with them.
Pain. Not dead yet. Soon. Soon though.
All movement ceasing.
Big and little bits crunching under paws. Crossing to the woman. Eyes open. Eyes empty. Drained face. Whole but dead.
Vampire. Monster. Messy Fucker.
Burn the pieces.
"…just an accident. You know how I am." Bella jerked her hand free and wrapped her arm around her stomach self-consciously. When her eyes slid from Embry to Jacob they widened in concern. "Jake, are you all right?"
His jaw was clenched too tightly to reply. Her voice sounded distant, an echo he couldn't quite understand. There was a shaking in his chest.
One of them had touched her, had put his hands on her. A vampire had listened to the beat of her heart, wondered what she would taste like, imagined sinking his teeth inside of her and drinking her dry until she was nothing but cold tissue. Maybe the fucker had even tried. He'd bit her. She'd gotten away somehow…
"Jacob, get it together."
He shoved Embry's hands away. He was already too hot and there wasn't enough space…
The woman in the woods with a blood-soaked collar was no longer a stranger. She was Bella. Lying empty and blank on the forest floor with blood dripping from the bite on her wrist, a meal interrupted. Her eyes were brown and glazed because he hadn't been there to save her.
No! She's right in front of you, calling your name.
Gone. She was gone. In the woods. Dead on the ground. Messy fucker.
"Jacob, get back!"
Something solid connected with his chest, and Jacob snarled as he stumbled backward. A door slammed.
"Stay in the car!"
"But, Embry—"
She gasped and, in a removed sort of way, Jacob knew why. The rippling of his skin was uncomfortable—still strange and foreign—as the wolf forced his way to the surface. And there was nothing Jacob could do to stop him. The heat started in his gut as a knot of fear, sorrow, and rage—because Bella was bloody on the ground at the hands of some fucking bloodsucker—then boiled over until it shook every part of him with the need to find release. A half-second of bones shifting and reshaping and Jacob was on all fours, claws piercing the ground and a frustrated growl ripping free.
He towered over Embry, who was backed against the truck, not quite blocking Bella's wide-eyed expression from where she sat motionlessly inside. Embry was trembling—not with the fear that a snarling wolf was breathing down his neck, but with the knowledge that one was raging inside himself. It was instinct to phase when threatened, but it was also instinct for Embry to put Bella above himself.
Embry stared Jacob down in warning. "Back. The. Fuck. Off."
Instinctually, Jacob snarled at the thinly veiled warning. But Embry didn't flinch, and through his steady gaze, Jacob found an anchor, something for the man inside of him to grasp onto. These were eyes he'd looked into hundreds of times before, but never once as a wolf.
Slowly, bit-by-burning-bit, the blind rage ebbed and receded, and Jacob started to do more than just see his surroundings; he became aware of them. Embry beside the truck. Billy at the house door. Bella behind the wheel.
Bella.
Beautiful. Terrified. Alive.
Jacob began moving towards her but stopped when Embry solemnly stepped forward to cut him off. Embry shook his head. "No."
No. Of course not. She was staring at him like he was about to go Jurassic Park and flip over the tuck so that he could eat her out of the window.
Fuck me.
Sam's voice appeared in his head. Jacob, the woods. Now.
Jacob didn't experience the usual knee-jerk resentment that usually followed Sam's orders. He was just grateful. Grateful to have something to do that wasn't watching Bella looking at him like that.
Jacob backed away, and then turned and ran.
A broken bottle. She had slipped and fallen on a broken beer bottle. Vampires didn't even drink beer.
Where the fuck had all of that come from?
"What the hell, Jacob!"
Embry appeared suddenly in the dense cropping of trees that Jacob been sulking in for a good twenty minutes under Sam's supervision. Embry threw a pair of shorts at his chest before shoving him much like he had right before Jacob had phased in the open—mere feet away from Bella. Only this time, Jacob didn't bristle and flush with rage; he limply staggered backward, eyes on the ground and wishing he'd get hit again.
"She was right there! A second sooner and you would have…"
Taken her face off.
Yeah. He was aware.
"I mean,"—Embry scowled and turned away, flustered and livid—"damn it, you can't lose it like that! If she…if she…" Embry quaked with if's.
Uncrossing his arms, Sam sighed from his position as referee. "The control will come with time, but until then—"
Jacob's head jerked up. "What? I stay leashed in the backyard? Only you get to take me out on walks?"
Sam frowned, but Jacob's goading had never worked before and wasn't going to ruffle him now. "Until then you need to be careful. Avoid situations that will set you off. "
"Great. Maybe Bella will be thoughtful enough to carry a sign that next time she smells like leeches: Warning: Stench May Cause Fursplosion." Jacob gritted his teeth. "God, I still can't believe one of them actually put his hands on her."
Embry also looked less than pleased. "Yeah," he muttered, "well, now she knows better."
Jacob looked at him in surprise. "You told her?"
"Kind of had to," Embry sighed. "She saw you get all big and hairy, remember? It's not like I could tell her you were just practicing your Silverbolt for Halloween."
Bella knew. If Bella knew, then…
"Where is she? I want to talk to her."
Embry hesitated.
"For fuck's sake! I'm fine," Jacob bellowed. "It just took me by surprise the first time, all right?"
"He's okay now," Sam agreed as if Jacob needed his damn stamp of approval.
Embry nodded as if he had needed it, too.
Bella was, rather predictably, at Jacob's house, where Billy was keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn't phone the New York Times to tell them that six-and-a-half-foot Quileute boys were turning into giant rabid dogs or—far more likely—call the chief of police. Standing on his front porch, Jacob took a deep breath, glad to have Embry as his back. He would absorb a good deal of Bella's energy and focus—having Bella's full attention for those two weeks of Embry's absence had been both amazing and overwhelming. It felt damn good to have all three of them present and accounted for.
Jacob exhaled loudly and pushed open the door. Bella apparently had been waiting on the other side and lunged forward to grab Jacob arms.
"Are you okay? Embry said that you were fine, but you turned into a wolf, Jake! Right in front of me! I thought something really terrible had happened to you and you weren't coming back even though Embry said you would. He said you both turn into wolves now although he wasn't sure why. Changing doesn't hurt you, does it? I really wish you guys had told me sooner. I would have been there for you. I know you can't tell just anybody about it, but you know I wouldn't tell anybody if that was what you wanted."
Trapped in her hold, Jacob awkwardly patted her elbows. "It's okay, Bella."
Embry could start absorbing any time.
As if he could still hear Jacob's thoughts, Embry squeezed inside the door and took Bella by the shoulders. "Sweetheart, why don't we sit down?"
She nodded, still looking keyed-up as Embry led her towards the couch. They sat together against one of the arms. Bella grasped one of Embry's hands in her own.
Billy wheeled out from the kitchen toward the front door. "I'm heading over to see Old Quil. Harry's already at his place."
Jacob easily read the look on his father's face: The elders weren't going to like this one bit.
Jacob nodded absently from where he was standing behind the coffee table. As soon as Billy had left, he looked imploringly to Bella. "Bells, I am so sorry about what happened out there. I didn't mean to lose control like that and almost hurt you. This phasing thing is still new, and it's unpredictable at the start."
"But you didn't hurt me." Bella was pleading him with her eyes not to sound so guilty.
No way. Jacob did not get an out that easily. And if she didn't take what happened seriously, how seriously was she going to take the rest of it? Like the fact that her doctor drank blood in order to survive.
"That's not the point. I could have—"
"I'm glad you did," she said definitively with a little nod of her head.
"Glad?" Jacob repeated incredulously. "Have you seen Emily Young? What do you think happened to her face? Sam lost control of his phase when she was standing too close, about as close as you had been standing to me without Embry to get in the way."
"But I know now. We don't have to stay away from each other anymore because you don't have to keep it a secret. So, yes, Jake, I'm glad that you lost control."
There was nothing Jacob could say against that. He was relieved that she knew, too. There wasn't a reason for Sam to order her from their lives any longer. In fact, he'd probably want them to stay close to her just to make sure she didn't spill the beans (not that Bella would). And she hadn't been hurt. Thanks to Embry.
Bella stood up then and wrapped Jacob in a hug. "I'm so glad that you're okay. That we're okay. I thought you hated me."
Jacob returned the embrace and caught Embry's half smile over the top of Bella's head. "I couldn't hate you any more than I could hate doing body shots with Megan Fox."
Bella snorted.
"But," Jacob said as he pulled away, "as much as I love you, you smell god awful."
Bella's forehead crinkled adorably. "You mean because I smell like Dr. Cullen?"
"Because you smell like vampire." Jacob wondered how well Embry had explained what the Cullens were and if she appreciated how dangerous they could be.
"I could take a quick shower," Bella offered while subconsciously tugging at her shirt. "Unless you were going to use it, Jake?"
"No. Knock yourself out."
The small grateful smile she rewarded him with released a flutter of butterflies in his belly. (God damn it. What kind of self-respecting teenage boy knew that a group of butterflies was called a 'flutter?' Embry and his eighth grade obsession with insect collecting could go to hell.) She disappeared down the hall, and Embry followed after her.
Exhausted for too many reasons to name, Jacob crumpled into the familiar worn sofa. He had to slide forward now in order to rest his head on the back, and he closed his eyes so the only thing to distract him from his thoughts were the sounds of Bella and Embry in his bathroom.
Embry started the water in the tub—because it took forever to get hot.
Bella's jacket dropped to the floor. She unzipped and stepped out of her jeans.
By the time Embry had gotten a satisfactory temperature, she was sniffling away tears, standing in her underwear, t-shirt, and socks. Jacob could hear her running her fingers through her hair over and over again.
"Bella…"
Sweetheart.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. It's just…I've missed you so much, Em. And after a while I started to actually believe you didn't love me anymore." Her voice became muffled by Embry's chest. "Or maybe I was just awful at sex."
Embry's hands slid up and down Bella's back, fabric sliding over skin. "Don't. Don't ever think that. Because it was the best night of my life second to that time you agreed to go on our first date. I've missed you like crazy, and I hated having to stay away. And I'm so sorry." He kissed her before continuing. "All I've been doing is missing you and thinking of you. I don't ever want to break up again, okay?"
"Okay." They kissed again as hands finished removing clothes and two pairs of feet stepped under the spray of the shower.
Jacob pressed his palms to his closed eyes and hated himself.
This sucks balls.
Really, Paul? Because we are the ones who have to put up with you.
…can't believe she let me…
It was my fucking patrol first, Black. I can't believe Sam is making me babysit Apeshit and Shakesqueer.
…just forgave me like that. She looked so beautiful…
You're not babysitting us. Embry and I volunteered to help patrol tonight just to run off some steam.
… that I can really smell her, she smells even better than…
Correction. Sam made you volunteer so that he didn't have to babysit you any longer. He wanted everyone out of the house so he and Emily could fuck in peace. Should have some good play-by-play by tomorrow.
Gross, Paul.
What? It's worth the effort it takes to break Sam down and get him thinking about sex. He might have a stick up his ass, but he's also got some sick bedroom tricks up his sleeve.
Again with the gross.
…gonna make it up to her. I love her so much that just thinking about her…
Jesus fucking Christ. Is Embry sure he didn't imprint on that scrawny-ass white girl? He sounds more like a vagina than Sam.
Don't call her that. Just because I appreciate Bella in more than a physical sense, doesn't make me a vagina. And I'm pretty sure the fact that you get off on Sam and Emily having sex in his memories makes you more pathetic than me.
Just because the lame fucking you do with Bella makes everyone but you fall asleep and makes Jared question his sexuality doesn't mean you need to—
You're a dick.
Better a dick than a vagina.
Even if that dick has syphilis?
Melissa Phillips, that slut…Jacob, why the fuck are you singing 'Through the Fire and Flames?'
Jacob mentally rolled his eyes. He hated patrolling with Paul. Almost as much as he hated patrolling with Embry. Paul always thought about sex. Embry always thought about Bella. Either topic resulted in Jacob thinking about his hands being inside Bella's underwear as she sucked on his neck.
This was a bad thought to have. Not because it made him feel guilty—which it did…a little bit—but because Jacob's thoughts weren't his own. Not now, at least, with two other sets of ears catching every stray thought that passed through his head. When the conversation had turned toward sex with Bella (Really? Really? Was this some sort of punishment for that jibe about God giving people piggyback rides?), Jacob had reverted to survival mode: a mental orchestration of Dragonforce. Even a guy as intelligent, talented, and capable of multi-tasking as Jacob had to concentrate to hit all those chords.
I wasn't singing. I was humming. I don't sing.
You know, Jacob, I've always assumed there wasn't much going on upstairs for you. But since you've started phasing, I don't have to assume anymore.
Jacob turned up the volume and jumped an octave. Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Daaaaaaaaah!
Aw, give him a break, Paul. He had a rough day.
How impressive that Embry could say that with happy sincerity. He better be fucking happy. He was the one who was in the shower with—shit. Da Da Da Da Da Daaaaaah Da Da Da Da…
So he flipped his shit and phased in front of your girlfriend. It's not like he fucked her on the hood of the car. I don't get what he's being so emo about.
DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Embry hummed to himself. Actually the song's really not emo. If you listen to the lyrics, it's kinda uplifting.
Guess you could fuck a girl to it. Hard.
Jacob's focus had reached its breaking point. You know what, guys? It's been great and disturbing, but I think I'm gonna head home now.
Good, Paul bitched.
Embry sighed. You sure, man?
Positive.
Okay, well just—
Jacob phased before he could find out 'just' what Embry wanted him to do. He phased, pulled on his shorts and ran to the sound of silence. He was nearly a mile from home, and by the time he pushed open the front door and barreled towards his room, his feet were caked with dirt he didn't notice and his lungs were fighting for air they didn't need.
He dropped to his knees beside his bed and reached underneath for the size 13 shoebox. He made quick work of the lid and grabbed the first clean scrap of paper he touched. His hands were trembling as if they belonged to a heroin addict who'd gone twelve hours too long without a hit, so Jacob struggled to dig for the pen at the very bottom.
But then he had it in his hand and the box lid on his lap, and he pressed pen to paper. He wrote until his fingers cramped. He wrote until Billy knocked on the door and asked if he was alright. He wrote until the words blurred on the unlined page. He wrote until his mind was empty.
Finally.
The slips of paper joined the others in the box. The pen fell uselessly to the ground. Jacob flexed his aching hands and shook his head as he got to his feet and started to towards the bathroom. The door slammed closed behind him.
I might as well spend my nights counting the fucking stars.
AN: Ideally, the next update will be a week from now. *cough* If, um, that doesn't happen, don't send out a search party or anything. I'll just be at home banging my head against the wall.