"Jack?" I asked
"Yes, lad?"
"Can I have a cookie?"
"What?" the shock was evident on his face
"Can I have a cookies? Please?"
"Goddammit Jim, I'm a pirate not a baker" he scowled at me accusingly.
"Yes I know that Captain" I said trying to placate him
"Then why did you ask for a cookie?" he growled
"Because I would like a cookie." I said simply and obviously "Please!"
"Lad… Jim… I hate to be the one to bereak this to ye but we can't always get what we want" he said incredibly patronizingly
"But I REALLY want a cookie!" I had resorted to whinging
"All right! Stop whinging and I will find you a cookie" he muttered holding his hands to his ears in a futile attempt to block my whinging.
"Yay!" I shrieked clapping my hands together "oh and for the record," I said in an exaggerated scottish accent, holding one finger up "there is nothing effeminate about me! Okay?"
Jack just looked at me puzzled, shrugged and muttered something under his breath that sounded remarkably like eunuch, shaking his head as he walked, or rather staggered, off to find my cookie.
While he was focused on finding my cookie, a rather impossible task given we were on a pirate ship, I snuck off and vanished in a whiff of blue cheese and buttercups.