Degrassi- Bright Changes Chapter II

Honesty.

"Maggie…I have to tell you something. Something you may or may not have already picked up on about me."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I'm…I'm an FTM…female to male transgendered. I 100% guy between my ears, but I was just born in a girls' body."

I woke in a cold sweat. I'd just come clean to Maggie about my secret…or so I'd thought. I couldn't believe it.

I was sitting straight up in my bed, and I walked to my bathroom. I splashed some water on my face to calm my nerves. "Give her a chance, Adam. Not everybody is as twisted as Fiona was. She seems to really like you. So, I don't see how it would change if she knew your situation. If anything, she'd like you even more if you were honest with her." Of course. Clare was right. Again.

"I have to tell her." I thought.

I walked to first period the next morning, already spotting Maggie in her seat behind mine.

When she looked up and saw me, she smiled. "Good morning." She said.

"Morning." I replied. I paused after I sat down and turned around to face her. "Hey, there's this dance contest that the instructor in Rec Gym is hosting. I think we have a pretty good chance to win. Want to be partners for that?"

"Hmm. Okay. Sounds like fun. It would be nice to perform again." She replied, looking off into space, like she was daydreaming.

"Okay then. How about you and I meet up after school at The Dot? My treat?"

"It's a date." She replied, smiling at me.

I headed to The Dot immediately after school, hoping to beat Maggie there so I could groom myself properly. I walked in and sat down at an empty two seater table, picking up the napkin dispenser and examining myself and fixed my hair. I looked around to see that other people were sitting quietly, talking amongst themselves. They seemed so calm…why was I so nervous? I was just meeting up with Maggie…the new girl…with long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and a smile that would brign people to their knees.

I heard the door open and saw Maggie walk in the restaurant. I smiled and exhaled sharply. 'You're okay, Adam. You're okay.' I told myself.

"This seat taken?"

"It is now." I replied as I walked over and pulled it out for her.

"Why, thank you, sir." She said in a cute, fake British accent.

I smiled walking back over to my seat, about to sit down.

But I froze in midair. The nerves were beginning to take over me. How soon was too soon tell Maggie my secret?

"I, uh,…I…I need a minute." I said to her.

"Take your time. I've got all day." She said sweetly, looking back at the menu.

I ran, almost, back to the men's room, whipping my cell phone out to text Eli.

"Dude, I want to tell Maggie my secret, but I don't know if now is too soon, or what. I'm so confused." I sent him the text.

I exhaled sharply, and rubbed my hands together. I was so nervous that I jumped when I heard the toilets flush inside the restroom. I jumped again when my cell phone dinged, indicating that I had received a text. Eli.

"Adam, you have to tell her. But it needs to be when you're ready. You can do this, man. If you like Maggie as much as I can see you do, and if she likes you as much as I think she does, she *will* accept this part of you. Good luck, man." He said back.

First Clare. Now Eli. Man, those two spend way too much time together. But, they were both right. I had to tell Maggie- I liked her, a lot, and I felt that she liked me too, so it would only be fair to her.

I exhaled again and walked back to the table that she was sitting at and sat across from her.

"Are you okay? I thought you'd fallen in or something." She joked.

"No…not yet." I said taking a huge sip of the water that the waiter had brought out.

Maggie cocked her head to the side. She knew how to read people, obviously.

"Adam? What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

I sighed. It was time to tell her. I looked into her eyes, and she looked…scared. But I wouldn't have expected less.

"Maggie…I have to tell you something. Something you may or may not have already picked up on about me."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I'm…I'm an FTM…female to male transgendered. I 100% guy between my ears, but I was just born in a girls' body."

I wished that I could've just dropped dead right then. The room was spinning. It felt as though someone had injected an additional ten doses of adrenaline into me.

But, when I looked up at Maggie, she was still sitting there, almost as calm as she had been before. "I know."

WHAT? How had she known?

"Wait a minute. What? You know? How?"

She sighed. Uh oh. Now it was her turn to share.

"Adam…this isn't something that scares me. I actually have a secret to share."

I nodded.

"I fell in love…with another girl. I thought that she was everything. We even acted like an actual couple. But, there was a problem, for her- I didn't want to be with a girl," she shrugged and shook her head, "and I still don't."

I was totally, and completely blown away…what the hell just happened?

I was the one who was speechless.

"Are you okay?" she asked, leaning into me.

"Y-yeah…I just…I never expected…"

"No one does. I don't like to talk about it. It was…heartbreaking when I had to say goodbye. I literally fell into a black hole…I felt like I was dying and that there was no one who could make it better. No one could reach inside of me and rip out the pain." Tears were welling up in her eyes.

I got up from my seat and sat by her, pulling her into a hug as she cried.

"I'm so sorry, Maggie. I'm sorry you were hurting so badly."

She wiped her eyes and shrugged. "I hope I didn't scare you. I don't want to be with a girl. If anything, the experience taught me that I want to find a man that would treat me how she treated me."

Wow. If I was thinking clearly like I'd claimed I was, I wouldn't have been stupid to assume that what I'd told her didn't bother her.

"I feel…honored that you saw what I confessed to you as a way for you to come out and tell me about a very personal experience. It's hard. I know all about that. I just hope what I told you about me hasn't scared you."

"Oh, please, Adam. If anything, I'm glad that you came clean to me about this. You were honest. Honesty is the key to success in any relationship. It's a huge thing for me. I really appreciate it."

I smiled at her, wiping her tears away from her cheeks.

"You know…you're sort of…beautiful, Adam. I think you're more of a man than any of the guys that I've met here so far."

I froze. My hand was still on her cheek, and it traveled lower to her neck, my touch causing her to lean in closer. I leaned in closer as well and our lips brushed against each others, electricity sparking as soon as they met.

We parted and stared at each other. What was going on? What was the next step?

"So," she said as we stared at each other, "are we still partners for the upcoming dance contest?"

I nodded my head, trying to catch my breath. "Yeah. Defeinitely."